


Shattered Memories

by holmesinthetardis



Series: The Daughter of a Way [1]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Multi, gerard way's daughter - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 08:03:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 107,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5619589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holmesinthetardis/pseuds/holmesinthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard Way didn't plan to have a kid with his best friend. He didn't plan to be absent for his daughter's first eight years. He didn't plan to raise her on a tour bus. But he did plan to be the best father he could.</p><p>Nation Way didn't plan to be born to the weirdest family around. She didn't plan to become famous. She didn't plan to join Panic! at the Disco or be best friends with who would soon become a literal meme.</p><p>And she sure as hell didn't plan to loose it all to a car wreck.</p><p> </p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>(Ive been absolutely loving this fic for a few months now ( ive re-read it atleast 3 times) and It is definitely my favourite fic of all the ones i've read. I love how unique and original it is, I dont think i've ever seen a fic even slightly similar to this one, and the storyline is so good! I love how we get to see nation grow and mature throughout the story. This is really an excellent fic! I can't wait for the sequel!) -Sassyemochild</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Life is but a dream for the dead, and well I, I won't go down by myself, but I'll go down with my friends," She sang along softly, barely audible, her headphones on as she drew in her sketch book.

Her feet were tucked up under her and she used the arm rest of the couch to help support her sketch book. She purposefully took up as little space on the couch even though no one else was in the room. Everyone else was in their own separate bunks probably fast asleep.

She had never been one to go to bed at a reasonable hour, but tonight her nightmares had been keeping her awake.

She abandoned her bunk a few hours before and resorted to sketching instead.

The small lounge of the tour bus seemed hauntingly beautiful in the moon light. The eerie silence had been hard to cope with, so she had put in her earbuds, making it incapable for her to hear her own thoughts any longer.

Looking at the paper in the dim light, she could make out the grey lines of the fallen angel she had drawn.

"Nightmares again?" The familiar voice made her head snap up. She gazed up into a pair of kind, hazel eyes hidden behind messy black hair. He was wearing a black t-shirt with grey sweatpants, appearing to have not gotten a blink of sleep.

She nodded her head as he took a seat next to her on the couch. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she instinctively leaned into him, not realizing how cold she had been.

"You're freezing," He announced.

"And?" Was her instant response, the thirteen year old not caring how she spoke to her father. He didn't respond, only leaned over to see what she had been drawing.

"That's great," He told her, his voice hushed as to not awake the others.

"It's crap," She responded. A small pout formed on her lips as she looked down at her creation.

The angel was beautiful. She had perfect features, her body evenly proportioned. If it hadn't been for the look of pain on the angel's face, you would have been confuzed by her torn wings. Feathers scattered the ground beneath her and she seemed almost ashamed of herself.

Most parents would be concerned as to why a thirteen year old would have drawn something like this and pestered them. But then again, most children aren't raised perfectly aware of the horrors of the real world.

"Better than I could do," He said. Over the last few years of raising the young girl, Gerard realized that it was easier to show how much better she was at something than he was, than to tell her what she did well. She's never taken compliments well, always brushed them off as if they didn't matter.

She rolled her eyes. "You draw cartoons, dad," She replied half-heartedly whilst closing her book and tossing it on the table. "I can't even do that right."

"Nation, you drew Batman a few days ago and I was convinced it was something Mikey printed off the internet until I realized it was sharpies."

"So?"

"That's pretty damn good."

"If you say so," She replied turning her head away from him. She let out a yawn indicating that she definitely needed to go to sleep. "I'm tired," She spoke through her yawn.

"Hi tired, I'm Dad."

She froze before turning her head and giving him a hard glare, a smirk tugging on her lips.

She turned back towards him, burying her face in his shoulder, using him as a pillow. "You're weird," She concluded.

"That a bad thing?"

"I'd be concerned if you weren't."

This made him grin. He had never thought himself as the greatest father, so it was little moments like this always made his day.

Getting his best friend pregnant in high school was not on his list of shit to do and it took him a full eight years to fully comprehend the fact that there was a miniature version of him running around. That wasn't until her mother, his best friend, had passed away suddenly.

He can see her in her sometimes, bringing back old memories from when he was younger.

He shared many things with his daughter, from their hazel eyes to their dark hair. Her raven locks fell in perfect ringlets down her back, no matter how hard she tried to straighten them. The two seemed almost identical, passing for siblings sometimes with how young he still looked.

But he could still see her in Nation.

From the way she ran her hands through her hair when she's frustrated to the mischievous look in her eyes when she knows she's about to say something that could possibly get her in trouble. Unlike him, her skin seemed incapable of tanning, leaving her pale as snow.

The two sat in silence. The only sound came from the bunks, where you could hear the guys snoring.

"It was Mom again," She mumbled almost silently. His heart skipped a beat at the mention of her. It always had. They say time is the only thing that can take away the pain of the loss of a loved one.

The reality of it all is the pure opposite.

The moment you are told you can't believe what you are hearing. The moment you hear that they are gone you haven't been without them long enough to miss them. It isn't until days or weeks later do their death finally take its toll.

The moment you go to pick up the phone and call them and you realize no one would be on the other end to receive your call. Or when you wake in the morning and begin to make coffee for them, only to realize that they aren't present to drink it.

It's not until you start missing even the things you hated most about them do you finally realize they're gone. Maybe it's the way they scraped their fork against the plate when they ate or when they yelled at you to clean your room. It could be something as small as when they glared at you for bumping into the table, causing the once perfect pile of papers to become slightly less perfect.

So when they say that time takes pain away, it's truly the opposite. Time causes more pain. Even if it's been so long that you don't think about it as much, when you suddenly see something that reminds you of them, the sad thoughts return, reminding you will never see them again.

Gerard took a breath before replying, "The crash?"

She nodded.

He sighed, unsure of what to say. Before settling on the usual, "So you wanna talk 'bout it?"

"Same as always," She mumbled.

He glanced towards the clock, noticing it was four a.m. "Do you wanna have a Supernatural marathon until the guys wake up or should we get some sleep like normal human beings?"

"Are there any benefits to being normal?"

"We won't collapse at sound check tomorrow," He responded. She sighed.

"Carry me," She mumbled.

He groggily stood up from the couch, looking down at his daughter. She held up her arms making grabby hands. He chuckled, a smile forming on his face before he lent down and lifted her into his arms, grunting as he did so.

"You weigh a fucking ton," He complained.

"No, you're just weak."

"Both of you shut up," They hear Frank grumble.

"Fuck off," Both replied instantly, causing them to grin at each other.

Gerard carried Nation into the bunk area and set her down in her bunk, middle on the left hand side. Her Uncle Mikey was fast asleep in the bunk above her, and her father occupied the one below her. Right across from her, on the other side of the bus was Frank. Below him was Ray, above Bob.

Nation crawled under her mound of blankets that she had brought with her on tour - well more like acquired - and shoved her head into her pillow.

"Get some sleep," He whispered, before pressing a light kiss to her forehead.

"No promises," She mumbled but he could already tell that she was drifting him. He smiled softly as he looked down at her, before quietly slipping into his own bunk to fall asleep himself.

**

"Well, someone has to wake her up," Frank told the group. The short man had his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against his bunk whilst looking down at the sleeping teenager. His hair was disheveled, the only indication that he had just woken up recently due to him already dressed and ready for the day.

"But she looks so cute," Ray responded, tilting his head to the side.

Bob snorted, resulting in Mikey elbowing him, knowing full well that Bob and Nation have never gotten along. Bob stopped and cleared his throat, focusing his attention on leaving the space instead, heading towards the lounge in search of food.

"We have to be at the venue in like twenty minutes and she'll throw a fit if she doesn't have time to eat," Frank reminds them.

"Well, who's gunna wake her up then?" Gerard questioned the group. They all fell silent, eyes locking onto him. "Ah no, I gotta live with her outside of tour too. One of you can do it," He brought his hands up in a defensive manor.

Frank rolled his eyes. "Fine," he groaned, "I'll do it."

"I'm out of here," Mikey announced, quickly exited the space where Bob left.

"See ya," Ray spoke before leaving, Gerard close on his tail.

Frank chuckled, rubbing his hands together mischievously as he followed after the bunch. They all gave him concerned looks as he went over to the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

"You do realize you get to sleep in her bunk until it dries right," Gerard asks him, but Frank didn't seem to be paying attention as he quickly went back to where Nation was fast asleep. A moment later, the guys heard a loud shriek followed by a string of swears being thrown at Frank while he giggled.

Frank swore before quickly running out from the bunks and into lounge, closely pursued by a soaking wet Nation. "I'm gunna fucking kill you," She growled at him a pillow clutched tightly in her hands.

"Catch me if you can," Frank taunted.

"Twenty bucks says the kid wins," Mikey bets.

"Which one?" His brother replies.

"Little Mikey. You really think I'd bet on Frank winning?" Mikey asked looking at Gerard who shrugged.

The two Ways watched as Little Mikey chased Frank around the tour bus with an angry look plastered across her face as Frank giggled like a two year old.

"You know what," Nation finally stopped, throwing her pillow on the ground in frustration. "I give up. But, I'm warning you, Iero, next hotel..." She left the threat unfinished before turning towards her father. "When do we get to the venue?"

He glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Like ten minutes." He chuckled when he saw the flash off horror on her face. "Coffee's on the counter," he told her. She quickly turned around to face the small kitchen, and picked up her coffee and brought it to her lips.

"Might want to change shirts," Ray told her. She furrowed her brow before glancing down at her shirt. She groaned, putting her coffee back down before disappearing into the bunks. They could hear her rummaging through a drawer, and a moment later she returned, now dressed in a pair of black sweat pants, a t-shirt that read 'Kill 'Em All', and an old pair of converse.

"Nice t-shirt," Frank commented, "Where'd you get it?"

"Oh this run down little shop close to here. You'd probably know it. It's called _Your Drawers._ It's mostly shit, but occasionally there's something there I want," She responded instantly. She picked her coffee back up whilst stuffing her phone into her pocket.

She sat down on the couch between her father and uncle. She turned sideways leaning her back against Mikey and propping her feet up on her father.

"Do you want me working the merch table or backing vocals again?" She asked the band.

"Backing vocals," Four of them replied. Bob didn't answer, instead kept his focus on his dinosaur of a laptop.

"You can play guitar too if you want," Frank continued. She looked up from her coffee with a horrified look.

"Oh hell no. I can't sing and play guitar to save my life. Everything will go to shit. Ah ah, no. Nada. Not happening." No one protested her answer. "Ray is my mask still on your guitar?" She asked him suddenly.

"Should be. I didn't touch it," He replied. She nodded in response and the five sat in silence for the rest of the journey, somehow agreeing it was too early for all the conversation.

**

Nation watched from right in front of the stage as everyone ran around getting everything ready. The guys where tuning their guitars to begin sound check, the smallest Way was excited for what she's always thought of as her own private concert.

Gerard was handed a microphone just as Frank finished tuning his guitar. He brought it up to his mouth, not bothering to look behind him at his daughter.

"Are you just gunna sit there or are you gunna get up here," He asked whilst moving towards Ray.

Princess Fro Fro untied the black mask from his guitar, handing it over to Gerard. Nation grinned quickly using her arms to lift herself on stage. She swung her feet up on stage so that she was sitting down, before quickly rising to her feet.

Someone from stage crew rushed over and handed her microphone and she smiled in thanks whilst moving towards her father. He handed over the black mask and she quickly put it on, a grin forming on her face.

"What's the set for tonight?" She asked them.

Gerard suddenly had a blank look on his face. He reached into the pocket of his jeans, retrieving a crumpled piece of paper. He crumpled it into a ball and tossed it to her. Neither were expecting it to land a few feet in front of her. She looked down at the paper in disappointment.

"That was depressing," She announced, before bending down and picking it up.

"Shows how much Gee cut gym in high school," Frank chuckled. Gerard shot him a glare whilst everyone took their spots. Nation skipped over to one of the larger amps near Mikey and hopped up onto it, swinging her legs as she sat.

The six quickly went into sound check, playing through the set list with ease. Frank ran around like an idiot as always, somehow managing to play in the oddest positions. Mikey stayed in one spot as per usual, trying to move as little as possible. Ray shredded on his guitar whilst Bob played the drums as if they were apart of him. Nation sat, unmoving from her spot as she harmonized with Gerard when there weren't any written backing vocals already.

Two hours later, everything was finished. The guys had everything set up to how they wanted and the set list was rearranged to their liking. The six decided to head out to lunch due to the six hour wait until the concert and Mikey and Nation ranting about sushi.

**

"This isn't sushi," Mikey and Nation said together as they pulled up at the closet pizza place to the venue.

"Get over it," Bob told them. They pouted but got over it anyway knowing that pizza was the next best thing. The two quickly unbuckled their seat belts and exited the SUV the band had rented for the time being. They made their way into the restaurant as the rest of the band exited the car.

"So," Nation spoke up as the uncle and niece walked side by side together, "Are you dating Pete Wentz?"

Mikey tripped over his own shoes but quickly recovered, unfortunately for Nation, not falling on his face. The thirteen year old chuckled at the man's reaction.

"Wh-what? N-no. Okay. Maybe, how'd you even find out," He questioned her. A grin broke across her pale face as she looked up at her uncle whom had turned cherry red.

"I heard you skyping him a few days ago. I hadn't had the time to ask you about it 'til now," She answered him.

His brow furrowed and he adjusted his glasses whilst opening the door to the restaurant. She smiled her thanks walking inside. The guys were just a few feet behind them, talking amongst themselves.

"When was the last time you got any sleep?"

Nation hesitated, but answered nonetheless. "Last night."

He shook his head. "I mean a descent amount of sleep. I know you're up late. Sometimes I can hear you drawing, _over Frank snoring,_ that's impressive." He looked down at her through his thick frames, concern plastered over his face.

"Couple weeks ago," She mumbled her answer. "I'll get two or three hours here and there. It's probably the only thing keeping me going. I probably wouldn't be able to keep my eyes open if it weren't for all that coffee we drink," She barely whispered, afraid of the others hearing. She kept glancing behind her shoulder as if to make sure they weren't listening.

Mikey sighed, putting his arm around her shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze, "It'll get better. I promise."

She chuckled dryly. "You said that last time."

"Well it did."

She tilted her head up, meeting his eyes as they found an empty booth large enough to sit the six of them in the corner of the room. "But they're back."

"Somethings don't go away forever, Little Mikey," He told her with sad eyes. She sat in the booth, scooting all the way over so that Mikey could sit next to her. "We'll talk later," He told her as the rest of the guys came up to the table, followed by a waitress who looked to be in her late teens.

Gerard slid into the booth across from Nation as Bob took the seat next to Mikey. Frank sat between Gerard and Ray. The waitress waited patiently for the six of them to settle in before placing menus in front of us.

"Hi ya'll. My name's Maddie and I'll be your waitress for this evening. Can I start ya'll off with something to drink?" She asked us politely a smile on her face. There wasn't a trace of a southern accent on her, yet the slang word flew off her tongue as if it was the most natural thing in the world. It's strange how Virginia works.

The six musici as ns quickly order their drinks and Maddie wrote them down, before leaving, saying she'd return in a moment.

"So, two pepperoni's and then a vegetarian for Frank and Nation," Ray asked us with raised eyebrows. They all agreed before slipping into a group conversation about the show later tonight.

"So, Nation, been a while sense you've sang with us. Excited?" Gerard asked his daughter. She shrugged, faking being unaffected. But her hands were in her lap, twiddling her thumbs nervously at the mere thought of going back out on stage tonight.

"Just like every other show. What's so special? Is Frank gunna tackle me or something?" She raised an eyebrow at the small man.

He wiggled his eyebrows a grin plastered across his face. "You never know. I could decide you're a comfy chair." The girl glared at the man but she laughed anyway. It wasn't uncommon for Frank to go crazy on stage. Once, Mikey slipped and fell during Cemetery Drive (the most appropriate time may I add), so he just fell to his knees beside his head and played then and there until her uncle stood up again.

"She is a comfy chair," Mikey replied causing everyone to laugh. Nation elbowed her uncle in the side but laughed nonetheless.

"Watch it, Uncle Mikey. I could sabotage your bass for all you know," She told him. He immediately stopped and looked at her in horror.

"Why would you do such a thing?"

"Cause she's Nation," Bob replied sounding bored.

"No it's cause she's Gerard's kid, raised around Frank. How else could you get someone like her?" Ray joked.

"Science?" She suggested. Everyone chuckled as Maddie came back with their drinks. Ray quickly ordered the pizza and soon the conversation returned, though this time everyone was having their own separate conversations. Bob and Ray were trying to figure out how to make it safe to play a show with Frank; Iero himself was trying to convince them that it's safer to play a show with him than to drive a car.

Gerard and Mikey were having a heated discussion of who the best superhero was whilst Nation listened intently, laughing at her family. Maddie arrived ten minutes later and placed the pizzas on the table. They thanked her before quickly digging in.

Frank and Nation were soon taking advantage of being the only two vegetarians as they laughed the four men fighting for the other pizzas. They laughed as Gerard grabbed the last slice from one pizza just as Mikey was reaching for it.

They spent their lunch laughing and remembering all the things they've done this tour before Ray brought up the dreaded.

"So, are we getting in the studio as soon as we get home or are we going to relax for a bit?" Princess Fro Fro asked the group. The chatter soon ceased as they realized none of them had thought about this yet.

Gerard scratched the back of his neck. "Well, we've already got most of the songs written, all that's really left to do is record and decide which one's are going on the album itself. But, I kinda want to take a trip with just me and Nation before we even think about heading out on tour again."

"Disenchanted," Mikey said flatly before bringing his drink to his lips.

"We get it!" Everyone replied in sync.

"I say," Ray spoke up, "we go in record a couple songs. Chill for a bit and then come back and finish. I haven't seen Jocelyn for a while so I know she'll appreciate it."

"Oh just get married already," Nation rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Jocelyn this, Jocelyn that. Seriously, just marry her. Hold up," She turned towards Gerard, her hair falling in front of her face. "Did you say trip?"

He chuckled. "Wanna go to Disney World?"

No one had ever seen the girl smile so much. "Fuck ya, I wanna go to Disney World! But, you can't say crap if I go and take a picture with the princess, especially Pocahontas cause that bitch 's bad ass," She ranted. Her hazel eyes shined with excitement as she grinned from ear to ear.

"Language," Ray tutted.

Even Bob gave him a look.

"Honestly, man, give up. It's not gunna happen," Mikey sighed, shaking his head.

"She's our kid," Frank said, motioning between himself and Gerard, "Do you honestly think that she has filter?"

Gerard nodded in agreement.

"Wait," Nation stopped with a confused look, "When did you claim me as your kid? I know he's stuck with me," She pointed a finger toward her father, "And this idiot likes the fact that I'm named after him," She poked Mikey's face. "I ain't got a clue as to when I started callin' him Uncle Ray, but you haven't said anything 'til now."

Frank chuckled. "I've probably kissed Gerard more than your Mom."

Gerard and Mikey froze giving the girl a sideways glance. They know her mother is a touchy subject, but she also isn't prone to public outbursts. She's learned to cover her emotions with snide comebacks and sassy remarks. No one had yet to push her past her breaking point.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you have, my mom was lesbian."

"Have to admit," Bob but in, "a kid? That's one hell of a cover up." Everyone laughed, though Gerard and Mikey's seemed forced, though no one noticed but the two.

"Didn't say they were smart," Nation said coolly. She plastered a smile across her face as she faced the men. She knew better than anyone that they would understand if she were upset. She had always been on the opposite end, comforting them in their darkest hours.

The girl, even at thirteen, had slapped more sense into them than most. She talked Frank out of suicide when she was eleven and slapped Gerard once when he tried to down a bottle of Nyquil. She's sat next to almost all of these men as they've cried their eyes out, whilst she always hid in a corner, muffling her sobs with a pillow. It seems the person who always takes care of everyone else is always the person who is in need of help the most.


	2. Chapter 2

**"Nation, have you** seen my makeup?" Gerard asked his daughter turning around to face her in the dressing room. She looked away from her mirror and then quickly around the room. She spotted a small bag in the corner of the room.

"Corner of the room. Uncle Mikey, will you braid my hair? I'm struggling here," She said motioning to the mess that was her curls. Her uncle chuckled, standing up from where he was on the small couch and came over to her. He towered over the teenager as her took the brush from her hands and began to comb through it. He finished, tossing the brush on the table before quickly plaiting her hair, taking her hair tie and putting it on to ensure that it wouldn't come loose. "Thanks."

She picked up her mask and was about to put it on when Mikey snatched it from her hands. She pouted, crossing her arms like a small child who was just told no to candy as he tied it around her eyes, which were already covered in black eye shadow.

"Everyone almost ready?" Matt, the guys' manager asked as he poked his head in the room.

"Just a second," Gerard replied as he finished taping his face to put the black stripe across his eyes like he always does when Nation sings with him. Frank stood next to him in the mirror drawing the black X's over his eyes.

"Move faster," Nation tells them, coming up behind the two.

"Make me," Gerard bites back. He frowns as he struggles to apply the makeup. You'd think he'd be able to do it no problem having done it the last year and a half.

"Oh my god, give it here," Nation mumbled taking the sponge from his hands. He frowned but turned around anyway, kneeling down to his daughter's height. She only stood at about 4'7. She dipped the sponge in the black makeup and quickly applied the makeup before gently peeling away the tape. "There, now you look somewhat dead."

Gerard chuckled, "Same goes for you, Nation."

"Thanks, Dad," She replied sarcastically.

"Welcome, kiddo." He ruffled her hair as they all moved towards the door.

"Ready, Way?" Frank asked Nation as he threw his arm around her shoulder. The six people where maneuvering down the hallways towards the stage.

"Fuckin' ready," Mikey replied at the same time his brother and niece did.

"I think I'm alright," Gerard spoke.

"Hell ya, motherfucker, let's do this shit," Nation cheered. All three Way's instantly silenced, as did the rest of the band.

Ray sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you you're not my father?" Nation sassed.

"Watch it," Gerard scolded.

Nation silenced before mumbling an apology, "Sorry, Uncle Fro Fro."

"Did she just apologize?" Bob spoke up, shock clear in his voice.

Gerard rolled his eyes at the comment, as did his daughter.

"All because she doesn't apologize to you doesn't mean she's incapable, Bob," He told him.

"And all because she just got told off doesn't mean she's not a foot away from you. I can sass for myself thank you," She chuckled.

"Ain't that the truth," Frank laughed as they reached back stage. Bob grabbed his sticks, Mikey his bass, Ray and Frankie grabbed their guitars while Gerard and Nation were both handed microphones.

"You know the drill," Gerard told his daughter, wrapping an arm around her shoulders s he leant down to talk in her ear due to the screaming fans less than fifty feet away. "We go out play our opener. You run around the drums to get to Mikey's side of the stage and do your thing. Remember the set?"

She nodded her head, bouncing on the heels of her toes.

"Awesome. You'll do great." Just then then lights dimmed and they started to announce the band. He kissed the top of her head. "Let's do this."

And with that, they all ran out on stage.

**

The music stopped but the screaming continued as the band prepared for their next song. Nation sat up on a large amp towards Mikey's end of the stage swinging her feet. Though half her face was covered, it wasn't hard to tell she was happy due to her excited grin.

"How's everybody doin' tonight?" Gerard asked the crowd. They all screamed in response. Nation wondered why he even bothered asking. He smiled pulling the mic away as he laughed. "So, I'm gonna take this short little break to introduce everyone to anyone who may not know. I'm Gerard Way, that mother fucker right there on bass, is my little brother Mikey!"

The crowd screamed as Mikey played a quick solo.

"Big man back on the drums is Bob," Bob played a drum solo.

"Ray Toro, the guitar master!" Ray played a complicated solo and Nation shook her head wishing she could play the guitar. Maybe she'd ask Ray to teach her.

"The shortie on guitar over there is Mr. Frank Iero," Gerard said. Frank grinned as he danced around playing his guitar like a madman for a brief moment, before settling down once again. He ran over to the mic.

"Need I remind you of the actual small child over there," Frank said pointing a finger towards Nation.

She scuffed, "At least I have an excuse as to why I'm small. I'm only fourteen. And you're only what three inches taller than me? Besides, who could forget me?" She sassed causing the crowd to go wild at her remark as she flipped her braid dramatically over her shoulder.

Gerard laughed as he brought his mic back up to his lips. "It's impossible to forget you. Please give it up for the official, _unofficial,"_ Nation laughed that this, hopping off of the amp as she did so, "sixth member of My Chemical Romance. My daughter," Gerard continued as she reached his side, he threw his arm around her shoulder, "Nation Way!"

The crowd screamed and she shook her head back and forth.

 _Why are they so excited that I'm here?_ She thought. _I'm just me._

"Hey, guys," She said into her mic. They all screamed back.

Nation looked towards the floor as she listened to her ear piece, Mikey speaking into the dead mic.

"You going to sit or are you running around?"

She turned around towards Mikey who raised his eyebrows. She shook her head no, and pointed towards Frank's direction. He nodded, knowing full well that she was probably about to get pay back on Frank for this morning.

The next song started and soon enough everyone was dancing around as I'm Not Okay (I Promise) was playing.

Gerard brought his mic up to his lips as he sang the opening line.

"Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say!"

Nation brought up her mic to sing the next line looking straight at Gerard, "I never want to let you down, or have you go 'it's better off this way!'"

The two both sang, harmonizing with each other. "For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took. Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor. I'm not okay I'm not okay. I'm not okay. You wear me out."

Nation ran over towards Bob, where a line of water bottles sat on the floor. She picked one up just as the next verse started she let Gerard sing alone as she ran over to the other side of the stage, jumping up onto an amp near Frank.

He quickly took notice to her as she opened the bottle and took a sip. He came over spinning around in circles as he played.

"Forget about the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took. You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed!"

Nation looked down at Frank and then the crowd as she held up the bottle. Just as he came almost directly under her, she tipped the bottle over, allowing the cool liquid to soak him.

He didn't stop playing as he look up at her, glaring playfully. She laughed, bringing the mic to her lips just as her favorite part comes up.

"But you really need to listen to me!" Nation looked over at Gerard who was now over near Mikey. "Because I'm telling you the truth! I mean this, I'm okay!"

Nation smirked as she brought the mic up to her lips. "Trust me." She jumped off the amp as Gerard burst into the chorus.

She swore under her breath as she landed awkwardly on her ankle. She ignored the searing pain and limped away as if nothing had happened, walking towards the dead mic as she did so. She caught Gerard's eye as he sang and worry was instantly edged into his face.

The song ended and instead of going right into the next one Nation spoke into the mic.

"So," Nation's voice was pained as she spoke into the dead mic, "I'm pretty sure I just broke my ankle. Anyone care to carry me over to the amp I was sitting on earlier before I burst into tears from standing on it."

She let out a shriek as she was suddenly lifted off her feet. She laughed as she wrapped an arm around Ray's neck as to keep from slipping. She used her free hand to hold up the mic.

"Uncle Fro Fro to the rescue!" She joked though it was clear by her voice that she was in pain.

"The hell did you do?" Gerard asked her from where he stood near Mikey, where both of them looked worry. The two brothers moved towards the amp where Ray was bringing her. Princess Fro Fro set her up on the amp where she stared angrily down at her ankle. Ray backed away to let her father and uncle crowd around her.

"I may or may not have landed funny when I jumped of the amp do to there being water on the floor," She answered them. A medic was running out on stage with a bag, ready to wrap up her ankle for her. "So, basically, my pay back on Frank did worse to me than him."

"Doesn't surprise me," Mikey chuckled as he swung his bass behind him. The medic came over moving Mikey out of way to reach Nation.

"How's it feel?" Brian, the medic, asked her. It's not unusual for Nation to get hurt during a show. She's clumsy enough, and once you add excitement and slippery flooring, all hell breaks loose.

"Six," She answered, not even needing for him to ask her the question.

He carefully slipped off her shoe, applying a bit of pressure to it.

"Oh fuck!" She swore and Gerard shook his head.

"You're an idiot," He commented.

"We already knew this," Mikey and Nation replied simultaneously. Brian quickly wrapped up her ankle and handed her an ibuprofen which she quickly swallowed.

"You need to stop by a hospital before you guys leave for the next show, by the way. I'll take her if you need. You taking her to a hospital is just what you need in the news." Brain quickly told Gerard and Mikey.

"I'll take her. Don't worry," Mikey said waving him off. Gerard was about to protest but Mikey kept talking. "It's a lot easier for me to walk somewhere than it is you. I'll take her and Nation don't say a word. Now come on," he pointed to the screaming fans behind him, "They're waiting."

**

"Remind me to never get hurt again," Nation groaned as she sat down on the couch on the tour bus.

"We do," Frank said from where he was in the small kitchen, "Every time."

She moaned as she rested her head in her father's lap and turned so her legs were propped up on the couch. Mikey walked over and lifted up her feet – her left now in a fresh ace rap – before sitting down with them in his lap, he grabbed the remote and flicked the channels on the TV.

She looked up into his hazel eyes and gave him a goofy grin. He sighed shaking his head but smiling nonetheless.

"Where's Princess Fro Fro?" She asked suddenly looking around the room.

"Passed out like ten minutes ago," Frank replied.

"Boring," Nation declared. "So, where we headed?"

"Uh, Outer Banks I think. We've got a beach show," Mikey said brow furrowed as he thought. "We'll actually be there two weeks before the actually show. Sort of vacation when you think about. You've only got a week in that, so we could actually go to the beach if you want," Mikey told her. She looked up with a horrid look on her face.

"Do I look like I have a death wish? I will turn into a tomato if I go the beach. No thank you," She said firmly.

Gerard chuckled, "I agree with her. No beach. Pool maybe, no beach though." Nation smiled up at her father knowing that he agreed with her.

***

A day later, the bus pulled up in front of the hotel and they immediately noticed the sounds of screaming fans.

"Shit," Gerard mumbled, dropping his and Nation's duffels to the floor before going back to the bunks. Nation pouted, knowing that he had gone back to get her mask as to hide her identity as always.

"Nation," Mikey said coming from the bunks with his backpack thrown over his shoulder, "Do you want me to just carry you? There are a lot of people out there," He commented. She nodded as Gerard came up to her. He gave her a quick smile before walking around her so that her back was turned to him. He placed her mask over her face, tying it quickly.

"Mikey, give me your bag since you're carrying her," Ray told Mikey. He slipped off his bag and handed it over to Princess Fro Fro. Mikey then adjusted his beanie before walking over to wear Nation was standing.

The teen pushed her hair behind her shoulders before moving her crutches out of the way, putting all her wait on her good foot. Frankie came over and took her crutches from her just as Mikey scooped her into his arms.

"Wow. You way nothing," He said a confused expression coming across his face. She shrugged.

"Fast metabolism? I mean I eat like a pig," She chuckled.

Bob rolled his eyes. "Let's just go already." He made his way to the doors just as the driver, Adam, opened the doors. The screams were even louder now. Bob went out, closely followed by Gerard. Bob was pushing his way through the crowded rudely whilst Gerard smiled at the fans.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry we can't stop for pictures or anything. We've got an injured Way," He said.

"Is Mikey okay?!" They heard someone shout.

"Frank's got crutches! It's Nation!" They heard someone scream just as Frank exited the bus. Frank smiled at the fans and laughed at their comments.

That's when Mikey carefully exited the bus with his niece in her arms. He smiled at the fans as Nation waved at them. "You guys are good. Honestly, would have taken me coming out of the bus to realize I was the one that got hurt."

"That made zero sense," Mikey replied.

"She knows," Ray said as he got off the bus holding his and Mikey's bags. The small crowd of about twenty screaming guys and girls parted to let them through.

"Get better soon, Nation!"

"Bye guys!"

"I love you!"

"FRERARD!"

Nation chuckled at all of the screaming fans comments and Ray lost it at the Frerard one.

Only Frankie and Gerard knew of the quick glance they shared as they covered their red faces as they entered the lobby of the hotel.

"Who's rooming where? We've got three rooms," Gerard said as he approached the desk where Bob stood, getting the room keys.

"Mikey promised me a Doctor Who marathon. We're following through. No options," Nation replied.

"I'm not arguing," Mikey replied. "Can I put you down now? You may weigh nothing but I'm not that strong to begin with."

"Frankie, can I have my crutches?" Nation asked him. He stopped and looked at her shaking his head no before using the crutches to 'run' away.

"Asshole," Mikey and Nation said as he stayed in stride with Gerard.

"Hey roomie," Frank grinned up at him. Gerard looked down at Frankie before shaking his head laughing.

"Idiot."

"Ah, you love me."

"Bob we're rooming together," Ray announces as the drummer comes up the group.

"Figured," He replied passing out keys. "Gee, Frank, you're in 612, Ray we're in 613, you two are in 611," He informed them as he handed out the keys. The band plus one made their way to the elevator. They pressed the button and waited patiently. Mikey set Nation down and Frank handed over her crutches.

The six broke into two groups of three as two elevators opened up. Mikey, Gerard and Bob went into the one on the left whilst Ray and Frank went with Nation in the other. Ray pressed the button for the sixth floor while Nation settled herself in the corner, arms crossed as Mikey placed the bags on the floor.

Mikey made his way over to Nation, grasping her hand once he noticed she had already begun shaking. She's had a long history with elevators making them one of the least favorite things on the planet.

"Here," Ray said and untied her mask from around her head. She nodded her thanks as she took it from his hands, shoving it in the pocket of her jeans. Ray gave her a kind smile and ruffled her hair, causing her to swat his hands away. He chuckled as she glared up at him, Mikey laughing at their actions.

She glanced up at the screen showing that they were on the third floor. She tapped impatiently against the side of her leg with her free hand. Mikey glanced down; taking noticed and gave her hand a squeeze.

"Don't worry," He told her, "Everything is going to be-"

That's when the elevator came to a halt, the lights going out.

"Spoke to soon."

Nation slowly sunk to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. "I'm going to cry," She announced, her voice shaking. Ray pressed the emergency button just as she spoke.

A voice came through the speaker, "We're working on it now. The power just went out in the building. We don't know what's going on yet."

Mikey groaned, running a hand through his hair, knocking his beanie off his head in the process.

"Just hope you don't have to pee. You're going to be there a while. We're working as fast as we can though. Don't worry."

"Okay, thank you," Ray said before the voice disappeared. "Joy," He muttered, sinking down onto the floor across from Nation. Mikey sunk down onto the floor next to Nation, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She cuddled into his side, burying her face in his shoulder as she shook.

He reached into his pocket pulling out his phone, thanking god that he had a signal in the small room. Mikey quickly dialed his brother's number hoping he'd pick up. He sighed in relief when he heard his voice come through the speaker.

"You stuck too?" Gerard asked him. Mikey nodded before realizing his brother couldn't see him.

"Yeah," He said.

"How's she holding up?"

"Oh, you know, it's not like I'm trying to not break down crying or anything," Nation said loud enough for him to hear. She was just barely able to hear her father's voice from being so close to Mikey.

Mikey pulled away his phone from his ear, pressing the speaker button and holding it in his lap just as Gerard replied.

"You're gunna be okay, Nation. You hear me. Just got to wait it out. What you want to talk about?" he asked her trying to quickly change the subject as to get her mind off the problem at hand.

"I don't know. Jesus?" she suggested causing the men to laugh. She had made it well known a few years ago that she had no belief other than family. She's never grasped the concept of religion and no one was going to try and push it on her.

"Yeah, when hell freezes over," Ray chuckled.

"That would be the day," Nation smiled looking at Ray. "Honestly, he could walk in here right now and I'd still deny his existence. Like I don't understand, why? I just don't get it. Too many rules. Not enough sleep on weekends. Where is the joy in all of it?"

"Presents on Christmas," Mikey replied.

Nation nodded. "True. Anyway, back to being stuck in an elevator."

Everyone groaned.

"Don't remind me," Ray mumbled from where he sat across from the girl. Her hands were visibly shaking and it was obvious she was holding back tears. She's never been one to show much emotion around people, not wanting to burden them with her tears.

"What time is it?" Mikey mumbled before looking down at his phone. "Two, great. Anyone randomly have food in their bags?"

"Oh, shit, I've got chips," Gerard said excitedly. The three stopped and waited as they heard the sound of someone opening a bag, before the crunching of chips being eaten.

"Lucky bastard," Nation replied. "You two got anything?"

"Uh, gum," Ray said reaching into his pocket.

"Share," Both Way's replied. Fro handed them each a piece of gum, before taking a piece himself.

Everyone sat in silence, the only connections between the two stranded groups being the phones that neither bothered to hang up in the silence.

As the silence grew, Nation's fear grew: What if they never got out? What if the cable's snapped? Hundreds of questions flew through her mind as her breathing rate increased. Soon enough, she was wheezing, gasping for breath as she hugged her knees to her chest, trying her best to ignore her thoughts as she fought back the tears, trying to focus on breathing.

Mikey and Ray quickly took notice to the oncoming panic attack.

"Nation, Nation look at me. Come on Little Mikey, I know you can do it," Mikey said as he knelt in front of his niece. His phone lay on the floor and Gerard's concerned voice came through the speaker.

"Guys, guys what's happening? Nation, are you okay?"

"Does she sound like she's okay to you, Gee?" Mikey snaps at his brother, not taking his eyes of the teenager in front of him.

"Nation, Nation listen to me," Gerard said. If you hadn't paid close enough attention you wouldn't have noticed the change in her state at the sound of his voice. Her struggled breathing continued and her grip on her legs never loosened but you could tell her whole focus changed, locking onto him. "Some say, now suffer all the children and walk away, or a madman and polluted from gutter institutions," Gerard's voice drifted through the speaker as he sang.

The lyrics were foreign to the girl. She didn't recognize them, but from the sound of Mikey and Ray humming along, it was obviously something the guys had been working on.

"Don't you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy. Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did. And through it all could you cry for me? Cause I don't feel bad about it. So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye, and sleep. Just sleep."

Nation's breathing slowly became manageable. Her eyes were squeezed shut but they soon became relaxed. Mikey let out a sigh as he returned to his position on the floor next to Nation, his arm wrapped around her as she hugged his side.

Gerard continued to gently sing, calming his daughter to the point that her breaths even out and soon enough, she's asleep.

"She's out cold," Ray whispers and Mikey nods in agreement.

"Hey, Gee, She's out cold," Mikey tells his older brother.

That's when the power was restored.

"Oh thank god," Mikey sighed. "I'll carry her to our room. Just let her sleep."

"No," Gerard replied flatly. "She's rooming with me. I want to make sure she's okay."

Mikey nodded though his brother couldn't see. "Okay."

"Oh look at that. Powers back on here too. I guess I'll see you in a minute."

"Yeah."

**

Nation's POV

I awoke with a yawn, the images of earlier today still fresh in my mind. I quickly took notice of the soft pillow under my head and the comforter pulled up to my shoulder. The sound of charcoal on paper is mixed with quiet music.

I rolled over and the movement I had heard ceased. I could hear them put down the charcoal and stand up, making steps closer to me just as I opened my eyes. I smiled up at my father as he loomed over me. He smiled down at me pushing my messy hair out of my face.

"Better?" He asked me and I nodded before yawning once again.

"Can we get food?" I questioned my voice scratchy from sleep.

"Guys went out after we got in the rooms. There's Chinese in the fridge though, I can heart it up for you if you want," He tells me. I nod as I sit up in the bed, looking around at my new surrounds. The room over all is dull - almost everything white, apart from the out of date furniture which was a dull grey.

"So, I guess I'm not rooming with Mikey then," I chuckled as I run a hand through my messy curls. Dad chuckled and shook his head no as he made his way to the fridge pulling out the food for me. I slowly move out of bed and meander over to the desk in the corner of the room where my father had previously been sitting. I flip over his sketch book to reveal what he had been drawing. I smile to myself when I see a sketch of myself fast asleep. My eyes then linger of the bottle of beer sitting on the corner of the desk, making me wince.

I turn away from it before Dad could take notice. That's all he ever does now a days is drink. The only bright side to it all is he's nothing like Mom was. He's more of a happy drunk, always laughing and smiling at something. But, I know it's not healthy for him.

I glanced towards the clock on the wall, curious to see how well I had slept. It's on three, forty-five. So, about an hour and a half. That will probably be all the sleep I get for a day or two.

The microwave beeped indicating my food had finished heating up and Dad took it out of the microwave and placed it on a small dining table in the room, grabbing chop sticks and sitting down. I took the empty space across from him, taking the chopsticks he offered me. The two of us dug in.

"So, you were just walking on your ankle. How smart was that," He asked me between mouthfuls.

"Oh," I say and look down at my ankle, "Forgot about that. No wonder it hurts."

He shook his head, chuckling to himself. "You need to stay off it."

"No shit, Sherlock. Wouldn't have thought of that on my own, thank you," I replied.

We ate in silence for a few minutes, before I yawned.

"When was the last night you got a full nights rest?" He asked me suddenly. My heart stopped for a spilt second. How had he picked up on that? I thought I had been quiet enough and that he had fallen asleep and woken up to the point that he couldn't have noticed. The only one that had was Mikey because of his massive crush on Pete.

"What?"

He sighed, eyes locked onto the beer in his hand as he spoke. "You haven't had a full nights rest in weeks."

"What are you-" I try to deny but he cuts me off.

"Nation Michelle Helena Way, don't even start with me," I instantly shut my mouth at the sound of my full name. He looks up at me from his beer before taking a sip. "I know the nightmares have started coming back. But, have you at least been trying to get some sleep?"

"I love how you're getting on me about how much I sleep, but freak out whenever someone brings up how much you've been drinking," I say quietly looking down at the food. I hear him push out his chair and stand up, crossing the room and going back to the desk where he had been drawing before.

"I'm fine, Nation. Don't worry 'bout me. I more worried 'bout you."

I sigh, standing up and hopping over to the nearest bed, which happened to be his. I sat down, adjusting the pillows so that I could sit up and glare across the room with him. "You're always worried about me."

"I'm your father, I'll never stop worrying about you," He replied. He flipped to a new page in his sketch book and began to draw once again, this time picking up a pen to use.

"Then don't. I don't care anymore. Can we just focus on you for two fucking minutes," I replied harshly.

"No. End of discussion."

I ran a hand through my hair, "Why can't you just admit you have a problem? I may not being doing anything to help myself but at least I can admit I have a fucking problem!"

"It's cause I don't," He muttered, his eyes focused to the task at hand.

I scuffed gesturing to the room around. "We've been here what, an hour and a half. And in that time you managed to drink..." I quickly counted the number of empty beer bottles around the three, "Half a dozen beers. What the hell? You're worse than Mom was before she offed herself!"

He stood up angrily, turning around. He crossed the room so that he was closer to me as she spoke. "Don't _ever_ speak of her like that, again. You got it."

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. It was rare we got into an argument, and I knew that I crossed a line just by mentioning her.

But I didn't back down like I should have.

"You act like you were the only person she ever mattered to. She may have been your best friend but she was _my mother._ Friends change but family stays the same. Why do you think I'm so worried about you? About Mikey? Have you even noticed how much he's changed in the last few weeks? I swear the only reason he's still standing is because of Pete and I," I snapped at him. A confused expression came across his face. I scuffed up. "And you claim to be concerned! I already know that Mikey told you about me, he pays more attention to me than anyone else so the minute he noticed he told the band didn't he?"

He nodded slowly. "What's wrong with Mikey?"

"Oh, It's not like he's depressed or anything don't worry," I replied sarcastically, giving him an eye roll. "If you had payed attention more to your fucking family instead of your booze maybe you would have noticed."

Guilt was plastered over his face as he stood there silent.

"I'm going to bed," I mumbled. "Where's my bag?"

"I got it," he muttered going over to the corner of the room where both of our bags sat. He opened one of them and pulled out one of his old t-shirts throwing it at me along with a pair of my sweat pants.

"Thanks," I mumbled before quickly changing into them. I go to hop over to my bed, but I'm quickly lifted off my feet and placed in what my Dad had claimed as his bed. I give him a confused look.

"What? You need to stay off your ankle and I'm too lazy to carry you that far."

"It's five feet."

"So?"

I shake my head before crawling under the blankets, shoving my head in my pillow. He sighs, kissing my forehead before returning to the corner of the room where he goes back to drawing.

"What time is it?" I mumbled.

"Five thirty."

I sit up, "Why the fuck am I going to sleep at five thirty when I can't even sleep. What was I thinking?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

I shake my head as I sit up in bed.

"I'm sorry, by the way," He said suddenly as he continued to draw. "For everything."

"So am I. I shouldn't have crossed the line like that."

"Pfft. I'm glad you did. I'm an idiot," He tells me.

"No you're not. I've turned out okay."

"That's cause of your mom. She was the real genius," he told me. I looked up confused but I couldn't see his face. "I really miss her."

"Me too," I replied before lying back down and staring at the ceiling. "You know what I just realized. We're not exactly a normal family."

He chuckled. "You think? Besides, normal families are boring. More drama."

I scuff, "That's a lie and you know it."

He shrugged. "More, what I like to call, 'school girl' drama."

I chuckled dryly. "If ya say so," I sigh. "It's her birthday tomorrow."

"She would have been twenty-eight," He replied sadly.

I nod silently. "Wait," I said suddenly, "You two were fifteen when I was born?"

He chuckled, "You just realized this? I thought you knew."

I shook my head no as he turned around. He smiled sadly as he chuckled, standing to his feet. "Yeah. Stupid teenagers, we were. But, I've got you. So, couldn't have been that stupid." He smiled up at him as came over and sat down on the other side of the bed, leaning against the head board.

"No, you were pretty stupid. Slept with a lesbian."

"Don't mix heroin with Jack, it doesn't end well."

My brow furrowed, "Couldn't that have killed you? And you know, fucked me up?"

"You're OCD, scared of elevators and beetles, and an insomniac. Plus, you don't exactly live the life of an average teenager. I think you're pretty fucked up," He told me.

"Feelin' the love, Dad. Feelin' the love," I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes. He chuckled.

"You know what I mean."

"Wouldn't have it any other way though. I'm pretty sure at this point I'd go mad if I had to live in a proper house twenty four seven. Seriously, how do people do that?" I asked flapping my hands about as I spoke.

"Wow, life on the road as totally screwed you up. I can't wait to get home. We need to go visit your grandparents. We'll probably go see them before we fly down to Disney."

I shuttered. I've never been a huge fan of planes.

"Don't worry. I'll be there the whole way," He said and I leaned over, resting my head on his shoulder. "You've got nothing to worry about."

"Thanks, Dad," I mumbled. "I love you."

"Love you, too, kiddo."

**

Third POV

Nation sat up quickly in bed, panting, sweat beading down her forehead.

"Hey, hey, hey, shh, you're okay," Gerard shushed her trying to calm his daughter down. He was standing by her bedside having noticed her whimpering in her sleep. Her whimpers had soon turned into tears and full on screams.

He smoothed out her hair as he tried to get her to focus on him.

"Hey, hey, Nation, I'm right here. You're okay," He assured her. Her hazel eyes locked onto him and she quickly threw her arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. He sat down on the edge of the bed, hugging her back as she continued to shush her. She sobbed heavily into his shoulder, squeezing the life out of him.

There was a brief knocking on the door followed by Frank's voice. "Hey, you guys okay?"

"I'm gunna go let Frank in okay,' He told his daughter pulling away as she nodded slowly. He got up and quickly opened the door, allowing the shorter man into the room. His hair was a mess and he wore only a pair of sweat pants as he looked at Gerard worriedly.

"I heard Nation screaming. Is everything okay?" He asked worriedly as he stepped into the room. Gerard quickly shut the door behind him.

"Nightmare. Different one though, from her screaming," He answered, making sure to block Nation's view of the man, before leaning down to steal a quick kiss. He then quickly crossed the room to where Nation sat crisscross on the bed with the duvet wrapped tightly around her shoulders as she shook. She looked up as Frank and Gerard came over.

They both sat down on the bed next to her and she quickly wrapped her arms around Frank. Her sobs had subsided but tears still flowed as she sniffled.

"Hey, shh, what's wrong," Frank asked her gently as he rubbed circles on her back. She shook her head. "Okay, don't wanna talk about. That's fine too. Just breathe."

After a few minutes she settled down, only hugging Frank as her eyes slowly opened. She focused on a random spot on the wall as she hugged him.

"I'm sorry," She muttered.

"Don't apologize," Frank said immediately. He pulled away holding her at shoulders length. "Because whatever the hell had happened it obviously fucked you up. You have no reason to apologize. Hell, you should never apologize, unless you know, trip the queen or something, I'm not sure how that works, but never mind." This caused Nation to chuckle a small smile forming on her face. "There's that smile."

"Gotta love that smile," Gerard grinned. Nation turned to look at Gerard who was giving her a toothy grin. She pulled away from Frank and leaned on her father, who wrapped an arm around her protectively. "You wanna talk about it now?"

She shook her head. "Just promise me you won't leave. Both of you."

Gerard brow furrowed. "Why would I leave you?"

She just looks up at him.

"What he means, Nation," Frank spoke taking her hand in his own, "is that we aren't going anywhere anytime soon." She smiled at him.

"Promise."

"Pinkie promise," He said holding up his pinkie.

"I'm not five, Frankie," She replied.

"Oh come on," He said laughing.

"Fine," She said before wrapping her pinkie around his. He grinned at her. She looked towards Gerard. "Do you want to pinkie promise too?"

"Like you said – not five," He chuckled, before pressing his lips against her forehead. "But, I think the biggest lie you've ever thought is that I'm going anywhere. I'll always be here for you.''

"I love you, both of you," She told them.

"I love you too," Gerard said as Frank spoke as well.

"I knew it!" The Way's laughed at Frank's outburst.

Gerard shook his head before looking at Nation. "You gunna go back to sleep?"

"I guess," She said unsurely, rubbing her arm.

"Don't worry, we're not going anywhere," Frank said, "Now scoot over, I need room."

"Okay then," Nation chuckled as she unwrapped herself from the duvet. Gerard got up and switched off the lamp, enclosing them in darkness. Frank took the right side of the bed whilst she took the left.

"Scoot," Gerard told his daughter.

"Oh joy, three of us," Nation said sarcastically.

"Slumber party!" Frank said excitedly in a girly voice, causing Nation to chuckle. Soon enough the three of them where squished together under the duvet with Nation between the two men. She curled into Gerard's side as he wrapped an arm around her.

"So?" She asked in a hushed voice. "When were you two planning on telling me you're gay?"

Gerard seemed to choke on nothing whilst Frank burst into giggles. "Told you, you can't hide anything from this girl."

"How the hell did you-" Gerard began to ask as he quickly sat up in the bed looking at her with a look of pure shock on his face.

"You kissed him when he came in, it was kind of obvious. Plus, how much you guys having been rooming with each other recently. Everyone kind of gets switched around every time, hell I've even roomed with Bob a few times. It's pretty clear how gay you are for each other." She told him with a cheeky grin.

"Well, being that we don't have to hide it anymore," Frank said and sat up leaning over Nation to press his lips against Gerard's.

"You guys can get married by the way. I'm perfectly okay with you being my step-dad. I mean, you've already claimed me as your daughter."

"Eventually," Gerard said after the two pulled away. "Now go to sleep."

And with that the three settled down and finally went to sleep for the night. And for the first time in months, Nation slept peacefully.


	3. Chapter 3

**"Nation," Frank whispered** as he shook the teenager. "Nation."

"Fuck off," She mumbled, snuggling closer to Gerard.

"Food."

"I'm up," She said lifting her head up. She looked towards Gerard's sleeping form and somehow managed to untangle herself from his arms without disturbing him.

"Leave him, I wanna take you out to breakfast," Frank told her from where he stood at the side of the bed. He hadn't changed, only thrown on one of Gerard's Misfits t-shirts.

"Where we going?"

"Hotel serves free breakfast, now get some shoes on lets go. No one's gunna care what you look like. It's six thirty" She frowned when he said the time. "Yeah, I know it's early," he chuckled as she got out of the bed. She grabbed her crutches and went over to the corner of the room and slipped on her tennis shoes. Frank grabbed Gerard's room key so that the two of them could get back in later.

Nation kissed Gerard's forehead as she passed by to leave the room. "Bye, Dad," She mumbled though he stayed asleep. The two slipped out of the room as quietly as they could before heading down the hall.

"Dining room is on the floor up so we can take the stairs," Frank told the girl and she sighed in relief. "I'll carry you."

"You're amazing."

"I know," He grinned.

**

The two sat across from each other at a small table in the corner of the room. Almost nobody was there apart from a small table of people who appeared to be on a business trip, dressed in their nice suits, and a large family of six who looked like they were on vacation.

"So, why are we up at six thirty? I mean, I love food, but it would still be waiting for us if we had woken up at like nine," Nation said to Frank before taking a bite of her jellied toast.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay with Gerard and I being together," He said with a shrug.

"Why wouldn't I?" She questioned, tilting her head to the side. Her gaze drifted over to the business men who were giving the two weird looks, probably because it looked like they had just crawled out of bed – which they had.

Frank's hair was tasseled and his face was stubbly, his voice still scratchy from sleep. He hadn't even bothered to put on shoes, only having on socks. Nation, on the other hand, had at least bothered to stick her hair into a messy bun, but was wearing a pair of sweats and her father's t-shirt.

"I don't know. I just wasn't sure."

She chuckled, "You seemed sure when you kissed him."

He smiled, looking up from his plate at her. "Yeah. That was nice."

"I expect," She laughed, shaking her head. "So, who all knows?"

"Just you. Don't be going around telling everyone though, at least not yet. I'm sure Mikey will figure it out eventually, but just let him do it on his own."

She nodded, pushing a loose strand of hair out of her face. "So, what are you doing when we get back home?"

"Visit my parents, most likely. At least until you and Gerard get back from Disney. Then I'll probably come over and hang out with you two," he then pointed at her, "Kick you out of the house for a day or two. Make you go visit Mikey or something."

She chuckled, "I'm pretty sure Mikey will be busy sucking Pete's face off."

"True. Ray?"

"Jocelyn," She said flatly before bringing her drink to her lips.

"You need friends," He replied.

She scuffed, "Tell me about it. All my friends are twice my age and famous. What am I supposed to do?"

"What about that internet friend of yours? Dan? Don't you skype a lot?" he asked her.

"Well, yeah, but he's from England. I don't see us hanging out anytime soon," She sighed. "You don't understand, we're literally best friends and I can't hug him. Do you know how frustrating that is to me? Wait, today's the 11th isn't it?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Fuck. It's his birthday. I need to skype him when we get back to the room," She told him.

"How old is he?"

"Fifteen."

He nodded. "He know who you are?"

"Nope," She replied popping the p. "I was planning on telling him today. I already told Dad. He said it's cool. He's even going to come say hi for a bit. You can too if you want."

Frank smiled; he was glad she had made a friend her own age - even if he's on the other side of the world. "Sure. Sounds like fun. How long have you known each other?"

She used her fingers to count as she thought, "Like nine months I think. We skype like every other night. I'm always yelling at him to go to bed since he actually goes to school, unlike me," She told Frank.

Nation had never been to school, public or private. She's always taken her classes online due to her always traveling with her family. But, due to this, she was able to get ahead and graduated when she was thirteen.

"Have you thought about going to college?" Frank asked her curiously.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure if I want to go. Hell, I'm still torn between wanting to do this and film," She said sounding as if the whole thought process exhausted her.

"Keep taking this break then. You graduated at thirteen. Most kids your age are freshmen in high school. You don't have to run off so soon."

She nodded. "Hurry up," She said through a mouth full of muffin, "I've gotta skype Dan."

"Okay, okay," Frank chuckled.

**

Nation tapped impatiently on the desk in the hotel room as the skype call connected, the familiar ringing sound coming from her speakers. Frank sat on the bed next to a still sleeping Gerard, flipping through his sketch book.

"Hey, Nation, have you seen this one?" Frank asked her holding up the book to show her the drawing of her fast asleep. He didn't bother to whisper knowing that Gerard had to wake up sooner or later. There was a hot coffee on the nightstand for him to drink and if he didn't wake up in the next ten minutes it would be cold.

"Yeah." She answered just as Dan picked up the call.

"Dan!" Nation exclaimed excited as her friend popped up onto the screen. His hair was cut in the stereotypical emo cut, with his brown fringe swept to his left side. His chocolate brown eyes stared at her through the computer screen and she couldn't help but chuckle when she noticed that he still had his hobbit hair. "Happy birthday!"

"Michelle, you woke me up," Dan complained.

"Oh shut up. Be happy I called you at all," She told the boy. He shook his head laughing. "Anyway, I told you I had a surprise for you."

"Oh yeah, what is it?" he asked curiously, instantly brushing off the feeling of having just woken up.

"So, my name may or may not actually be Michelle Parker. I mean, It is, but it isn't." She said scratching the back of her neck.

"What?"

"Yeah, I know, I may have lied a little. Parker was my mom's last name and Michelle is my middle name."

He looked at her concerned. "Why didn't you tell me before? You know you can trust me. It's not like I could do anything."

She chuckled awkwardly. "Well, technically if someone payed enough attention you could."

"How?" He asked even more confused.

She looked towards Frank. "Is he awake yet?"

"No."

She frowned before sighing. "I'll beat him with a pillow later. But, you wanted to meet Dan, come here."

Frank got up, leaving Gerard's sketchbook on the bed as he crossed the room.

"Frankie," Nation said, "Meet Dan Howell. Dan meet Frank Iero."

"What do you mean Frank Ie- HOLY MOTHERFUCKING CRIST!" Dan screamed before falling out of his chair. He quickly got back up looking at his screen wide eyed. He couldn't believe his eyes.

Frank laughed, "Nice to meet you, Dan. Happy Birthday."

"Th-th-thanks. M-m-mister Iero. Holy shit. Didn't see that one- oh my god I'm such an idiot," Dan said face palming himself. "You're Nation Way." He said with his eyes closed.

She smiled nervously. "Hello," She said as she gave him a little wave.

"You're getting me MCR tickets for the next time you come over here, because I'm fucking broke you know that right?"

She chuckled. "No shit, Sherlock. How else am I going to get to hug you?"

"OH MY GOD WE COULD SEE EACH OTHER IN PERSON! WHY HADN'T I THOUGHT OF THIS?! WHEN DOES THE NEXT TOUR START I NEED TO KNOW?!" Dan fangirls as he grabbed his calendar ready to write down the dates.

"We haven't even put together the next album," Frank chuckled at Dan's excitement. Dan frowned whildt throwing the calendar behind him.

"Anyway, Nation, why haven't you made a twitter as your actual self? You could just like rule over the entire mcarmy, why haven't you taken advantage of this?" He asked her, causing her to chuckle.

"I have to balance living on a tour bus with five idiots, shows, and my head. The only free time I have, I spend skyping you. It's not like I have any friends my own age," She told him. He shrugged.

"This is true," He replied with his British accent. He stopped as he turned his head, his mother's voice suddenly appearing. "I've got to go. Apparently my mum's made lunch. Bye, Nation," He grinned. "I love that. Nation. Brilliant name. I'll skype you after dinner."

She laughed. "Thanks, Danny boy. Now run off before you get in trouble. Love you."

"Love you too, bye," he grinned before ending the skype call.

"He seemed nice."

"You have no fucking idea."

**

The band all sat in a circle on the floor holding cards as they played poker. Nation had made it her goal to master the Mikey poker face and managed to do it in under an hour, giving her and Mikey a striking resemblance. Gerard wouldn't let her play since they were betting and he had a feeling she would end up creaming them all, so she leaned over Mikey's shoulder instead, basically playing for him.

He wasn't complaining.

"When's Dan supposed to call you back?" Frank asked suddenly glancing up at the clock, which read 2:00.

"Uh, in a bit. He usually eats around six but they're going out for his birthday, so he probably won't be home for another twenty minutes when you calculate the drive there and back plus wait for a table and the check," She said as she tilted her head to the side in the thought. Frank looked at her confused for a second before shaking his head.

"Why? Waiting for a chance to actually win?" Mikey asked him with a small smirk, causing everyone to laugh.

"Maybe," Frank said quietly.

That's when Nation's laptop started going off, indicating that Dan was calling her. "Oh, well then," She said as she stood up, "apparently I was wrong. But, no surprise there."

"This is obvious," Ray said causing everyone to laugh as she went over to the desk.

"Now shut up," Nation said before accepting the call just as she sat down in her chair. "Sup, bitch? How was dinner?"

"Didn't go," Dan said annoyed. He rested his head in his hands as she propped his elbows on the desk.

"Why not?" She asked brow furrowed. "You were talking about it all-"

"They left me here," Dan said flatly.

"So, should I shoot them or beat them with a stick?" Nation asked her friend as she cracked her knuckled dramatically.

"Both," Frank spoke up.

"Hey, Frank," Dan chuckled.

"Oh yes, people," Nation said suddenly brightening up. "Peoples, come forth and meet Dan. Don't worry, he isn't on fire." Dan chuckled at the reference to his username.

"One second, I think about to beat Mikey," Ray said not looking up from his cards.

"Nope," Mikey said before laying down a full house. "I win."

"God damn it," ray said dropping his cards on the floor. He got up and went over to Nation. "Hey, little dude," Ray said leaning over Nation's shoulder.

"You're barely taller than me," Dan chuckled. "But hello to you too."

"How tall are you?"

"178 cm," He told her.

She blinked, obviously confused. "I'm American, do you really think that I hear 178cm and can suddenly know how tall someone is compared to me?"

"I'm British do you honestly believe that I hear some say they're nine foot nine and can suddenly know how tall someone is compared to me?" Dan responded instantly.

She chuckled. "I wanna meet someone that's 9'9."

"You would probably cry," Gerard said as he stood up off the floor.

"This is true."

"Is that really tall?"

"Literally twice my size. I'm 4'7. Which," She said before going to google, pausing a moment, "Is about 140cm. Which also means that you are," She stopped and typed in his height, "About 5'10." She frowned before glaring at the screen. "Fuck you and your height. God damn it, Dad why am I so fucking short?" She asked as Gerard came up to her. Ray moved from behind her, going over to the floor where he had just been sitting to help Mikey pick up the cards.

"Because I'm 5'8 and your mother was like 4'7. You're never going to be that tall," Gerard chuckled. He looked at the screen and waved.

"Hey, Dan. Nice to finally meet you," he grinned at him.

"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Way," Dan said nervously with a massive grin on his face. His hands were in his lap, which he usually does when he's trying to hide the fact that he's shaking.

"Call me Gee," He told the boy who nodded quickly.

Dan then looked to Nation. "You never told me you were that short."

"You never told me you were that tall," She countered.

"Well, yeah, but you're shorter than Patrick Stump. That's an accomplishment."

"SHE'S SHORTER THAN ME TOO!" Frank said excitedly.

"Don't get to excited she's only fourteen and hasn't had a growth spirt," Gerard said turned around as Frank coming up to him.

Frank pouted crossing his arms as he stood less than a foot away from him. Nation turned her head and raised an eyebrow at the two. Gerard put his hands on the shorter man's hips as he looked down at him, Frank's arms quickly finding their way around Gerard's neck.

"What?" Bob said as he looked at the two. Ray's brow furrowed for a moment before he shook his head smiling. Bob mumbled some profanities as he reached for his wallet, pulling out a few hundred dollar bills and handing them over to Princess Fro Fro.

"HOW DID I MISS THIS!? I USUALLY KNOW EVERYTHING!" Mikey basically screeched as he looked at his brother and Frank.

"Nation move to your left. No, your other left," Dan told Nation and soon enough he could see the sight as well. His eyes widen just as Gerard leaned down and gently placed his lips on Frank's who instantly responded.

"HOLY SHIT!" Dan screamed as he fell out of his chair for the second time today. "FIRST I FIND OUT MY BEST FRIEND'S NATION WAY AND THEN I FIND OUT FRERARD IS REAL! I DON'T NOW IF I CAN HANDLE ALL OF THIS INFORMATION! BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!" Dan screamed from the floor of his bedroom. Nation couldn't help but laugh at Dan's reaction.

"Honestly, you wouldn't even know from that if it's real or not because they make out all the time. That was just a bet that they would make out before dinner," Bob supplied.

The two pulled away from each other.

"It's real," Frank said before crashing his lips to Gerard's again.

"If this is going to be an hourly thing I'm moving in with Bob," Nation said suddenly, instantly causing the two to break apart. Gerard, Frank, and Bob looked at her in horror whilst both Ray and Mikey were on the floor laughing.

"I'm confused," Dan said with an odd look on his face.

"Get used to it," Nation replied, before looking back at Gerard and Frank. "What happened to having to keep my mouth shut 'til Mikey found out? Like what the fuck? We had this conversation this morning."

"Blame him," Frank said looking at her whilst poking Gerard's face. Gerard smiled and laughed leaning down to kiss Frank again.

"THAT'S IT!" Nation said dramatically standing up and hobbling over to her bag in the corner of the room, not bothering with her crutches, ignoring the pain in her ankle. "Mikey I'm rooming with you."

"Fine by me," He replied and went and grabbed her crutches and laptop, where Dan was still on skype, looking even more confused. "Nation, use your fucking crutches before you hurt yourself."

"Fine," She mumbled as she pulled her bag over her shoulders and took the crutches from him. "Now... Run away!" She exclaimed whilst quickly crutching over to the door. "Good bye lovebirds. I'm sorry Ray! You know what, you too, Bob!"

"I don't know how to respond to this," Dan shook his head. Mikey looked down at the laptop when he spoke. He closed the hotel door behind him before turning down the hallway, following after Nation who was heading towards his room. "I mean, is this a normal thing?'

"Nation or Gee making out with Frank?" Mikey asked the teenager.

"How easily Nation changes the subject and the constant confusion."

Mikey tilted his head to the side in thought. "Huh, never realized how easily she changes it. She should take advantage of that more often."

"I do," Nation said looking up at her Uncle as he came over and unlocked the door to the room.

"Well then. The confusion? You'll get used to it to the point that you aren't confused."

"When was the last time you were confused, Uncle Mikes?" She asked him curiously.

He chuckled. "We're Way's. We're so confusing we confuse ourselves."

"This is true," She nods. She goes over to the closest bed, noticing that it was still nicely made unlike the other, where Mikey had obviously slept the night before. She lent her crutches against the wall and made grabby hands for the laptop. She set the machine in her lap and adjusted it so that Dan was looking at her face. "There is the tiniest chance I will stop confusing you at some point in our lives."

"We can only hope apparently," Dan chuckled causing Nation to grin.

"There's always hope."

*****

_Three months later_

Nation pushed the front door open, dropping her suitcase and duffle bag by the door and walking directly into the den. She made her way over to the couch, where she collapsed, face first, into a pillow. She sighed in relief, a smile forming on her face.

"I missed this couch," She sighed happily.

"What happened to you being driven mad by being home?" Gerard asked his daughter as he came into the room, turning on the light switch. How she had found the couch without a problem in the pitch black, having not been here in the past six months, amazed him.

"Don't worry," Nation said, rolling over onto her side to face him, "I'll be running around like I'm insane in a couple days. Anywho, is there any food?" She questioned sitting up.

"We haven't been here in the last six months do you really think there's going to be any food?"

"So Chinese?"

"Yup," He replied popping the 'p.' "Take your stuff up to your room."

She groaned, "But I'm comfy."

He gave her an annoyed look, "Now."

She sighed as he got to her feet, "Okay." She went to the front of the house and picked up her bags before quickly ascending the stairs to her left. She then turned right down the hallway, passing by the office, her father's room, the guest room, and her office before reaching the end of the hallway. She smiled at the sight of her door, with the caution tape on it.

She pushed it open, flipping the lights, and set her bags down in the corner of the room.

It was exactly as she left it. The wide space was still in its organized caus. There were papers all over the white carpeting, some balled up, and some that were drawings. The ones that she didn't care enough about had always ended up on the floor.

Covering the plum walls where posters ranging from the Misfits to the Flash. Her bed was pushed up against the walls in the left corner of the room, the black bedframe looking as if it's still brand new. Her black bedspread wasn't even on her bed; half of it was hanging on for dear life whilst the rest was basically on the floor. Her dressers were on the other side of the room. Most of the drawers still open from her last minute packing and the other's looking as if it took everything in her to close.

The top of the dressers were covered in basically everything. From picture frames and action figures to makeup and McDonald's toys.

The wall on the far right was completely made of bookshelves, overflowing from the number of books and comics she owned. Ranging from thick novels to manga, she has a wide range of genres to choose from. The top shelf consisted of her ever growing CD and vinyl collection.

"NATION! FOOD'S HERE!" Her father called from downstairs. Her brow furrowed. He just said they would get Chinese not even five minutes ago.

"HOW?!"

"DON'T WORRY! ALL IS WELL! IERO HAS ARRIVED!" She heard the tiny man shout after she heard the front door open and close.

"Ah," She said before chuckling and rushing out of her room. She slid down the banister, only to be greeted by Gerard giving her an annoyed look. She shrugged before paying closer attention to the short man that had one arm wrapped around her father and the other food. "Give me."

He chuckled and handed over the bag. "WOOHOO!" She screeched and ran into the kitchen with the food.

"What are we going to do with her?" Gerard asked her.

"I thought we'd just let her run around til she tired herself out. Shouldn't take much, not like she's in shape or anything," Frank replied.

"Heard that!" Nation shouted from the kitchen whilst she opened the fridge, frowning when she saw there was nothing but an old carton of eggs – which smell awful – and rotting grapes. "Dad you should go shopping."

"Let's not and say we did," He replied as he went over to the counter where the food was sitting and began pulling out the boxes of food from the bag, separating it between the three individuals, already knowing who got what.

"Sounds like a plan. Frank you still keep that pack of Root beer in your trunk," She asked him.

"Huh yeah," He said before patting his pockets. "Here." He pulled out his keys from his pocket and tossed them to her. She caught them with ease before moving towards the door.

"Back in a minute," She told them before walking out of the room.

Frank came up behind Gerard as he pulled out the food, wrapping his arms around the older man's waist. He stood on his tip toes as he rested his chin on his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the side of his jaw. Gerard smiled.

"Three, two, one," They counted off together.

Nation walked into the room and placed Frank's keys on the counter with a blank look on her face. "Nope, to fucking dark outside. Frank you gotta get 'em yourself. Cause I ain't going out there."

"We deserve a medal," Frank chuckled as he pulled away from his boyfriend, grabbing his keys.

"Yeah, for worst parents of the year," Nation chuckled, playful glaring up at the midget.

"Thanks, kiddo," Gerard rolled his eyes with a laugh. Frank exited the room, in search of soda.

"You notice we have new neighbors?" Nation asked her father who raised an eyebrow.

"How you know?" He asked her before digging into his food, not bothering to wait for his daughter of boyfriend to eat. He picks up his food and moves to the kitchen table just as Nation picks up her chicken teriyaki.

"Different car, there's a bike against the side of the house, and the shutters are now blue," She answered. "The Robinson's didn't have kids and sure as hell don't have the time to paint the house. Car, I can understand though."

"Huh, never would have noticed," Gerard said through a mouth full of food.

Nation crinkled her nose in disgust. Gerard chuckled at this. "Besides, I saw the kid sneaking in through the window."

Gerard snorted just as Frank walked into the room laughing his ass off.

"Nation, you should see the kid next door. His parents must have caught him sneaking out of something cos he left out his window before taking off, scared as hell," Frank laughed as he put the case of root beer on the counter. He grabbed three cans and brought them over to the table, setting them down before grabbing his food.

Gerard pointed at her with his chop sticks, "Make friends with him. Not cool going to concerts with your Dad."

"It is when you're dad's Gerard Way," Nation laughed.

"Not when they can't know that," Frank reminded her.

She pouted. "Oh, by the way, Green Day concert next week, when are we leaving for Disney. I want to go."

"Flight leaves Saturday night. When's the concert?"

"Next Thursday. Can I go?"

"Do I have to take you or can I convince Mikey or Ray to take you?" He asked his daughter curiously. It's usually easy to blend into the crowd during a concert. But the minute your father is the vocalists of one of the hottest bands of the year, there's bound to be some attention drawn to you. It makes going out anywhere hard, with trying to keep Nation's identity a secret. She often wondered why she used her first name if he didn't want to her be that well known, with a normal life. She had thought they would have just called her by her middle name instead.

"Guy next door remember," She chuckled. Gerard shook his head.

"If you actually follow through with that, I want to meet the boy," Frank spoke.

Nation rolled her eyes. "I've got to meet him first dim wit."

"She's got a point," Gerard said through a mouthful of food causing Nation to cringe again. She finished p her food before downing her soda and standing up to clean of her diner. "Thanks, Frankie." She thanked the man for the food before starting to leave the kitchen.

"That was fast. What's the hurry?"

"Supernatural season two starts tonight," She said before quickly running up to her room. She pushed open her bedroom door and collapsed onto her bed, before reaching over and grabbing her remote off of the bedside table. She flicked on the television and sat crisscross applesauce with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, excited to know just what the hell is happening. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Nation followed after her father after getting her violin** case out of the back. She was being forced to come along and she figured she might as well make another attempt at writing the intro for Welcome to the Black Parade.

Gerard held the door open for his daughter as she passed through the entrance. "Hey Zander," She greeted the man at the front desk. He was humming what sounded like Fall Out Boy's Dance Dance whilst he sketched, obviously not doing his job. He looked up from the notepad at the sound of his name. He slammed the notepad closed and adjusted his glasses as he turned towards his computer. Nation always found it hilarious at how the intern was so good at his job. He never did much: coffee run's, organized files, and occasionally ran the front desk.

"Hello, Ms. Way," he smiled politely turning bright red, knowing he had been caught. He looked behind the girl at Gerard. "And Mr. Way," He quickly added.

"Lenard on your ass again?" Gerard asked raising an eyebrow at the blond.

He cringed, "Yeah. God, don't mention this to him."

"You have our word," Nation chuckled before walking down the hallway followed by her father. She took a quick left and entered the room that was labeled Studio 3. It wasn't a surprise to see that the rest of the guys were already there, minus Mikey. "Where's Mikey?"

"No hello?" Ray asked with a laugh.

Nation put her instrument down as she went and sat down in a chair in the corner of the room. "Uh, Hi?" The men chuckled at the girl who only rolled her eyes. "Okay then," She said slowly, "What exactly are you all trying to accomplish today?"

"Uh," Frank said scratching the back of his neck, "I'm pretty sure Gee's just gotta finish up some vocals and you need to figure out that beginning of Black Parade that you're so keen on perfecting."

"I actually think I have something so you can't say shit," She said glaring at the man who laughed, holding up his hands in defense.

"Okay, okay. You can wait 'til Mikey gets here, Gee can go ahead and start on his stuff whenever."

"What's left?" The man asked.

"Uh," Ray says before pulling a checklist out of his pocket. Nation eyed it with a confused look. "Sharpest Lives, Cancer, House of Wolves, Teenagers, and Famous Last Words. Oh and then Black Parade after Nation plays us the intro, and she needs to do her little parts in Famous Last Words and House of Wolves."

"It's not little!" Both Way's snap, Nation a bit more defensively. Bob looked at them confused whilst Frank bursts into a fit of giggles. Ray holds up his hands in fake defense, laughing nonetheless.

"Okay, okay, I get it."

Nation crossed her arms, a small pout forming on her lips as she looked at Princess Fro Fro. "Meanie."

Gerard chuckled, running a hand through his messy hair. He stops and grabbed onto a lock on his hair and looking at it for a moment before speaking. "I need a haircut."

"Same."

"Just add that to the list of shit we need to do. Anyway, come on Nation. Let's do this," He spoke whilst going over to the sound booth.

"Joyous," Nation said before getting up and following after her father. Everything had already been set up to the bands liking thanks to the ever so fabulous Ray. Gerard noted to thank the man later on. Nation pulled the door closed as Ray got up and sat in front of the sound board. The Ways each grabbed a pair of head phones and stood in front of the mikes.

Nation looked up and out the window, wiggling her eyebrows at Frank who made a strange face in return. Her gaze snapped towards the door as Mikey came in looking as if he had rushed to get here being that he was late. But all was forgiven due to the coffees in his hands.

"Alright, ready?" Ray asked us. Gerard looked down at his daughter.

"Know the lyrics?" She nodded in response. "Okay, you know the plan: you come in on the second verse and then the third is yours."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Chill," She said causing Gerard to shut up. He shook his head and then gave ray the que that he was about to start. Ray fiddled with some switches and soon enough we were recording.

"Now I know that I can't make you stay. But where's your heart? But where's your heart? But where's your..." Gerard sang before Nation came in harmonizing with him, singing an octave higher. "And I know there's nothing I can say to change that part. To change that part to change..."

Gerard and Nation took a step back as the guitar solo came in before Nation stepped back up and began to sing by herself.

"So many bright lights, they cast a shadow. But can I speak? Well is it hard understanding I'm incomplete? A life that's so demanding, I get so weak, A love that's so demanding I can't speak"

She took a step back as Gerard came in and sang the next part, the chorus. "I am not afraid to keep on living. I am not afraid to walk this world alone. Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home." He steps back as they wait a moment before she comes back in.

"Can you see? My eyes are shining bright. 'Cause I'm out here on the other side of a jet black hotel mirror. And I'm so weak. Is it hard understanding I'm incomplete? A love that's so demanding, I get weak!"

Gerard comes back in and the two sing the chorus together. Gerard and Nation lock eyes with each other smiling slightly, enjoying the moment together. The two always seemed to be happiest when they got to preform together, not having to worry about anyone else.

Gerard goes off on his own, still looking at Nation.

"And I see you lying next to me, with words I thought I'd never speak. Awake and unafraid. Asleep or dead."

Nation comes in singing backup as Gerard repeats the same verse before the two move off into the chorus once again, harmonizing together. In the middle of the verse, Nation reaches over and pokes Gerard's face in an attempt to make him mess up. He almost does but recovers in order for them to not have to go through this again. He reaches over and ruffles the girl's hair causing her to push his hands away just as they finish up the song.

They both took off their headphones after they finished and looked at each other trying to stay as serious as possible before they both burst into giggles.

"That was really good," Gerard complimented his daughter.

"Not too bad yourself, Daddy-o," She froze after she spoke. "Why the fuck did I say that?"

Gerard gave her the same blank look. "I don't know but it was terrifying."

"Let's never speak of this."

"Agreed."

**

"Nation, didn't you say you finished the intro to Black Parade?" Ray asked the teenager who had pulled out her laptop and was scrolling through My Space whilst playing with the locket around her neck. They had just wrapped up the rest of the album, only needing to finish one last song before deciding which songs would make the final cut.

"Oh, yeah. Where's the keyboard it sounds better on that," She said and Ray pointed across the room to where the instrument was in the recording both. She pouted but stood up none the less and went into the smaller room. She turned on the keyboard and began to play.

G, F#, D, F#, G, D, F#, G, F#, E, D, E, C, F#, G, F#, E, D, C, D.

"That," Frank starts, "Actually works really well."

Nation gave him a weird look. "You act surprised. Did you doubt my ability?"

"No," Gerard and Mikey spoke truthfully whilst Frank and Ray did terrible jobs of lying.

"Yes," Bob said straight faced.

"No surprise there," Nation rolled her eyes at the drummer comment. "You guys get recording. I'm gunna go buy more coffee," She turned around to head to the door before stopping and turning back around. She looked straight at Gerard who chuckled before reaching into his pocket for his wallet. "Remind me to carry my purse more open. Or better yet, I should start wearing guy's jeans, you could fit an elephant in those pockets." She rambled as Gerard handed her cash. "Thanks. Back in a bit."

Nation stuffed the few bills her father handed her into her bra before she exited the room. She waved goodbye to Zander on her way out and he smiled as he reached into his pocket. "If you loved me you'll get me a mocha."

Nation rolled her eyes but held out her hand and smiled as he handed over a five. "I'll be back," She said.

"Bye, Nation."

She walked silently down the street. The nearest Starbucks was about three blocks away and although Nation was impatient and hated any exercise whatsoever, she didn't mind. She tends to enjoy the alone time. She pulled out her IPod as she put in her earbuds, before pressing shuffle. Dead On Arrival by Fall Out Boy soon came on and she smiled contently before shoving the device back in her pocket.

She got quite a few stares from the pedestrians walking past but she didn't mind. She was quite used to the odd looks ever sense she was young. Today the weird looks were probably due to her outfit of choice which just so happened to be black skinny jeans and her 'Joki' t-shirt. It was quite a gruesome design, the character being a cross of Marvel's Loki and DC's Joker, and there just so happened to be a massacre going on in the scene. Her hair was a mess, the top of which hidden under a red beanie. Her hazel eyes where outlines in eyeliner though framed by thick lenses, she didn't want to bother with her contacts today.

She smiled friendlily when someone offered her a polite smile. But the moment they looked away the fake grin vanished, instantly replaced by her and Mikey's infamous poker face.

She couldn't help but let her eyes wonder as she walked. Couples walking down the street, people on their ways to business meetings, teenagers who had just gotten out of school. She couldn't help but smile softly when she saw a small family getting out of their car and heading into a local record shop. The father looked as if he was raised in South dressed in blue jeans, a plaid flannel, and work boots. The wife seemed to come from a suburban home, dressed in black dress pants and a red blouse. It was obvious she had just gotten off from work earlier in the day.

Though it was obvious it wasn't the couples idea to go to the small store. The black door of the SUV opened up to reveal a girl in her mid-teens. She was dressed in dark skinny jeans and a Nirvana t-shirt. Her short black hair was hidden under a red beanie and her arms were lined with bracelets. She clutched a small wallet and looked eager to enter the store. She grabbed her father by the hand, trying to get him to walk faster into the store, causing the man to chuckle.

Nation's eyes went to the side walk after that, her thoughts started drifting to what it's like to live a normal life with a normal family. She's had a great life, she will never say otherwise, but it has been stressful and it wasn't just her mother's death. It had been odd before that as well. Her mother was a lesbian and her father is pansexual, they had never dated. She was a mistake, the result of a night they would regret for ever.

 _They never wanted you,_ rang through her mind. She froze mid step, her eyes widening for a moment. That little voice in the back of her head had returned. It seemed that it still wasn't her friend.

She shook her head reminding herself that her father loves her and so does Mikey and the band. She turned up her music in attempt to get her mind off it... and that's when her IPod died. She swore loudly, earning her evil looks from people walking past. She gave apologetic smiles before taking out her ear buds and stuffing them into her pocket. It looked like she'll just have to deal.

 _Your own father didn't even except your existence until she died._ Nation bit her lips and watched her feet as she walked. She was still a block away from Starbucks.

 _It doesn't matter. He has always loved me. She always loved me._ She thought to herself trying to shake the ugly thoughts. She shook her head again, mumbling to herself whilst shoving her hands into the tiny pocket of her skinny jeans, for once thankful for how small she is.

_They don't love you. They're just stuck with you. It doesn't help that you graduated early. Now, they_ **_have_ ** _to take you with them. Face it, you're just the luggage._

Nation took a deep breath before taking off her beanie and running a hand through her tangled hair. She let out a shaky breath.

_Shut up. You're wrong! You're not even real!_

She stopped in front of the coffee shop as the voice replied.

_I'm as real as you are._

She bit her lip before entering the Starbucks. She mentally ran a list off in her head of what she was supposed to get. Her father likes it black, Mikey adds more sugar than he's made out of, Frank wants hot chocolate, Ray and Bob passed up the offer and Zander wanted a mocha, plus Nation's order of a Carmel Frappuccino.

She pondered how the hell she was supposed to carry all of them.

She sighed realizing she was just going have to struggle. She got in line patiently waiting behind to blonde girls. They got their drinks and then Nation stepped up to order. She looked up at the menu as she rehearsed her order in her head once again, glad to know that there was no way in hell that the boy at the counter was going to ask any other questions then her name and what she wanted.

"Hi. How can I get you?" He asked kindly, plastering on a fake smile. He looked like he had been here all day.

Nation said her order at an even pace to let the boy type it into the computer whilst the other guy in the back quickly wrote out the order onto the cups.

"Name?" He asked.

"Michelle," She replied. She never said Nation when getting orders. It always made life to complicated, either causing strange looks or questions she couldn't answer. Her father had named her, this was obvious, and he had never cared to share as to why he named her Nation.

_Don't you love that? The man who named you took eight years to step up to his role._

Nation blinked hard shaking her head as she held out the cash to the boy. He accepted it before quickly giving her the change. She backed away and went off to sit in the corner of the room, secluded from everyone else. She crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair watching her surroundings. The girls from earlier were sat at a table a few feet away from her chatting happily as they sipped their coffees. They each had a cake pop in front of each of them.

Across the room ordering were two boys. The taller, more muscular of the two was speaking with the boy who had taken Nation's order. She couldn't get a good look at his face and his hair was hiding underneath a snapback. The shorter boy stood awkwardly behind him, a look on his face Nation recognized easily. It's the look that she's seen on her family's faces often; it wouldn't surprise her if she had the same look now. That look you get when you're lost in you're on thoughts, slowly spiraling out of 'control until you finally crash one way or another: a gun to your head or a pen in your hand.

The two boys walked and away and started walking towards Nation. Her eyes widen before she quickly looked at the table in front of her.

"Hey," The taller one said to her causing her head to snap up.

_Why!? Why would they come over here!?_

"Told you," The shorter boy mumbled.

The tall boy looked down at the shorter, rolling his eyes. "Shh. Um, the other tables are full can we sit here?"

"Sure," Nation replied quietly, placing her hands in her lap, shifting. "I'm Michelle."

"I'm Josh," The smiley tall boy said, looking at her with kind friendly eyes as he sat down in the chair across from her. "This is Tyler. He's kinda quiet. Just give him a bit." Tyler gave her a little wave as he sat down in the chair next to his friend. "You knew here?" Josh asked. "I haven't seen you around, although, Ty and I've only been here for like what, four months."

Nation chuckled. "I've kinda been out of town for the last like, eight months. Where you from?"

"Ohio," Josh answered. "Our Dads' both got new jobs out here so we moved. It's so different out here."

Nation gave a small smile. "At least you've been in a house. I've been on a bus for the last eight months, crashing in hotel room here and there. Actually, why am I complaining, this is probably the longest I've been home in years," She rambled chuckling to herself.

"How come you've been traveling so much?" Tyler asked curiously.

"Dad's work. He travels a lot and I get the joy of going with him," She sighs, propping her head up on her hands. She eyed Josh's My Chemical Romance bracelet smiling slightly. "You like, My Chem?"

Both Josh and Tyler's faces lit up like Christmas trees. "Yeah, they're great. I wish I could drum like Bob," Josh marvels.

Nation's smile faltered for a moment before realizing that he drums. "You play?"

"Yeah. He's great. I don't know what'd I do without him," Tyler said speaking up for the first time. This caused Nation's grin to widen.

"I'm more of a singer, though I play violin, ukulele, piano, etc. Nation's got to be my favorite official _unofficial_ member though," She chucked to herself.

The boys laughed. "She has a great voice. Isn't she just like a year younger than us?" Josh said looking at his friend.

"She's what fifteen?"

"Fourteen actually," Nation answered. "How old are you two?" Nation asked curiously, tilting her head to the side.

"I'm sixteen, Ty will be too, in December. You?"

"Fifteen in October."

"Oh, are you a sophomore at Riverside?"

Nation laughed at Tyler's question. "God, no. I finished school early, when I was twelve. Perks of being homeschooled, you can get ahead. Besides, it made life easier with my Dad's work. I haven't gone to college yet though. I'm debating applying to Julliard, though."

"Wow," josh chuckled. "Impressive."

"I try," She shrugged.

"Michelle?" One of the employs said. Nation turned her head at the sound of her name and held up her hand. The guy smiled and walked over, placing her drinks on the table, four of them in one of those crates whilst Nation's was off to the side, free for her to hold.

The guys raised their eyebrows at the drinks.

"Oh, yeah. Dad sent me on a coffee run. Well, actually no I sent myself on a coffee run and ended up being told to get theirs but whatever. I better be off. Nice meeting you two," Nation said as she stood to her feet.

"Wait, Michelle, hold on," Josh said as he reached into his pocket pulling out his phone. He flipped it open before holding it out raising an eyebrow. "Can I get your number? Maybe we could hang out sometime. Ty and I don't really have friends here."

Nation smiled and nodded, taking his phone. She quickly typed in her number putting herself under Nation Michelle before handing it back. He grinned before looking at her strangely. "Nation?"

"Told you she was my favorite," She said with a shrug, causing the boys to chuckle.

"Apparently so. See you around?"

"Definitely," Nation replied before picking up her drinks and heading towards the door. A man in a business suit held the door open for her and she smiled thankfully as she walked out, giving him a nod. She made a quickly left and headed back the way she came, towards the studio.

She wondered if she should talk to her father or Mikey about what had happened. No, she shook her head, it's best she not. But she will tell of her new friends: the overly friendly drummer and the tiny boy with troubled thoughts from Ohio.

She kept her eyes on the drinks in her hands, making sure not to spill the hot beverages all over herself as she walked, careful to avoid strangers on the sidewalk.

A few minutes later she reached the studio. She stopped in front of the door and looked at the door handle and back to her drinks. She looked through the glass door at Zander who was back to doodling on his note pad. She couldn't knock, so she kicked the door instead. His head shot up and he quickly stood open to open the door for his younger friend. He quickly took the drinks from her as she walked in.

He set them on the desk before taking his drink. "Thanks, Nation. You're the best."

_Lies._

_"Shut up."_ She thought before replying to Zander.

"I know," She replied before picking the drinks back up and walking back to the recording room. She opened the door to be greeted by the sound of five arguing men. She rolled her eyes as they discussed which songs should make the album. She quickly handed out the coffees to the other Ways and the hot chocolate to Frank.

Mikey and Gerard each took sips from their coffees before cringing and quickly swapping.

"Whoops," Nation chuckled as she brought hers to her lips, taking a sip from the straw. She looked around and frowned when she realized there were no chairs left. Mikey saw his niece's look of annoyance and chuckled, uncrossing his legs before ushering her over. "Thanks, Uncle Mikey," She smiled as she sat in her uncle's lap, quick to join to conversation.

"There's no doubt that Famous Last Words and House of Wolves have to make the album, that's all I'm saying," She said.

Bob snorted, "That's just because you have parts in them."

"That is true and just the reason why they have to be on the album, and I'm agreeing with Uncle Mikey on Disenchanted. It's great. I'll be saddened if I'm told it won't be there."

"And this is why you are my favorite niece," Mikey announced.

Gerard furrowed his brow as he looked across the room at his younger brother. "She's your only niece."

"How would you know?" Frank asked, "Mikey could have kids, shit no, that's not how that works. Ray could have kids, or Bob, hell I could have kids," Frank rambled causing them to chuckle.

"Frank, you _are_ a child," Bob commented.

"Agreed," The Ways said simultaneously.

"We need to stop doing this," Nation groaned, throwing her head back in annoyance. She frowned staring at the ceiling. "Did anyone notice that the pattern on the ceiling is randomly different right here? It's like they did a shit job at patching a hole."

"That's from when my foot went through the ceiling while recording Revenge," Frank shrugged casually.

"How did you- you know what I don't want to know," Nation said shaking her head, though she wished she had been there to see it happen.

**

Two weeks later, Nation stood in front of the window of her bedroom, violin in hand as she played a soft melody. She remembers learning the peace in her private lessons, but the name just wouldn't come to her. This resulted in the violinist playing the arrangement on repeat hoping it would come to her. Nation was sure that it would work, but had forgotten that she wasn't the only one home that day.

There was a quick knock on her door before Gerard pushed the door open to enter the room. She turned around to face her father. She still wasn't used to his knew hair. He had gotten it cut short and died in a pale white. She had died her own hair the same color, though her hair curls barely brushed her shoulders.

Dying her hair was quite the event. It took quite a bit of bleach due to her hair naturally being so dark and the look on Gerard's face as he did it was priceless.

_"Couldn't you have inherited my hair? This would make life so much easier," He had exclaimed, causing Nation to laugh. "Stop moving, you idiot," he chuckled himself._

Nation removed her bow from the strings and lowered it to her side. "Yeah?"

"Can you play something else? It was good the first two times but I started counting and I think thirty-seven in enough. Don't you?" He asked her.

She lowered the violin from her shoulder, walking over and hanging it on its hook against the wall. She spoke as she did so. "Sorry, Dad."

"You're fine," He assured her. "It's just hard to draw Séance when all I here is Pachelbel on repeat."

"So that's it!"

He let out a laugh at his daughter's reaction. "I guess that's why you've been playing it then. Do you want to come see what I've got so far?"

She shook her head no. "I want to be surprised when I see it completed." He nodded and turned to leave but she stopped him. "Wait, Dad, can I go out with some friends later?"

"You have friends?" he asked confused.

_No you don't._

She rolled her eyes. "Don't act surprised. But, can I?"

"Who? When? Where and how are you getting there?" He asked her but she was prepared for this. She had told the guys about how she had never really had friends at home due to her constant travel and they warned her of the rapid fire questions from her father.

"Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun. We met at Starbucks a couple weeks ago, you know the day we went to the studio to finish recording and then we kept messing with each other while recording Famous Last Words. Anyway, yeah, that happened. They wanted to know if I could come over to Josh's in 'bout an hour. Tyler said he could pick me up if he had to."

"I want to meet them," he said sternly.

"Well, you can meet Tyler when he picks me up," She replied with a shrug. "And yes, he is the one driving."

Gerard's brow furrowed. "How old-"

"Sixteen," The girl replied as she walked over to her closet, pulling open the doors and grabbed a clean shirt. She had stayed in her pajamas all day and decided clean clothes might be a good idea.

She threw the Fall Out Boy shirt on her bed before walking across the room towards her dresser to get jeans.

"Alright," he shrugged. "He know who I am?"

"You mean does he know of your existence? Yes. That you're my dad, not at all."

"Shouldn't you, you know, tell him?"

Nation chuckled. "I've decided the look on Josh's face would be better. Now get out, I've gotta get dressed." She told him. He chuckled as he left the room.

Forty-five minutes later, Nation sat on the couch fully dressed, her white locks where brushed out and her hands sat in her lap, fiddling with her phone. Josh had just texted her saying he and Tyler just got out of school and were on their way over.

Gerard was in the kitchen, making a fresh pot of coffee as he had been up all night working on his comic book.

The doorbell rang and Nation tore her eyes away from her lap. "I got it!" She called to her Dad before standing up and making her way towards the front door. She opened it to reveal Tyler and Josh.

"Hey, guys," Nation greeted her friends. "You can come in; my Dad wants to meet you two." They nodded and entered the house hugging Nation as they came in. She shut the door behind them and leaned against the door as she smirked, calling her father into the room. "Dad! Josh and Ty are here!"

"'Kay!"

Josh and Tyler looked at Nation oddly, confused by her smirk. "What are you up too?" Josh asked curiously.

"Hey," Gerard said as he walked into the room holding a cup of coffee. His white hair was out of place and he was dressed in his grey sweatpants and an old cardigan, making him look very much like a Dad. Josh and Tyler turned around and Tyler smirked while Josh took a step back.

"Holy shit," Josh swore not having expected Gerard to walk into the room.

"Pay up," Tyler ordered his friend. "I knew it," he turned around to look at Nation, "I knew it the minute you gave Josh your number, that little smirk on your face when you said you were your favorite."

Nation chuckled. "You know, Ty, for someone who's really awkward, you're very proud of yourself."

"What does being awkward have to do with being proud?"

"Dude, do you even know yourself?" Josh asked his friend.

"Better than y- oh," The shorter boy said before looking at the floor. Josh shook his head before turning back to Gerard.

The taller boy stuck out his hand, "Josh Dun. Nice to meet you, Mr. Way."

Gerard looked at Josh and smiled. "Call me, Gerard, please. If I hear one more Mr. Way I might scream," he chuckled.

"Tyler," Tyler sticking out his own hand. "Nice to meet you, Gerard. I like your music."

"That's an understatement," Josh muttered causing Nation to snort.

"Alrighty, now that you three know each other we best be going," Nation said opening the door.

The guys looked at her before nodding in agreement. "See you around, Gerard," Josh said as he headed to the door followed by Tyler. The three were halfway out the door before Gerard called out to Nation.

"Forgetting something?"

Nation stopped, sighing before turning around. She raced back in the house and gave her father a quick hug, pecking his cheek before letting him go. "Love you, Dad. See ya later."

The simple words sounded as if she had rehearsed them in her head.

"Love you too. Home by ten," he said quickly before the door closed behind her. He sighed, shaking his head, smiling nonetheless. It was good for her to be making some new friends. He wasn't sure how to tell her that she had less than two months before they were heading off on tour again.

This was the first time that she seemed comfortable in the house whilst off tour. She seemed to be enjoying the quiet and stayed in her room, playing her violin or some other instrument. He wasn't used to this behavior from her and had thought something was wrong at first, but shrugged it off as her growing up. But oh how he was wrong.

Nation's mind has been killing her from the inside out. The nasty thoughts invading her mind, convincing her of things that were untrue, things she _knew_ are not true. But, the thoughts still stay.

**

"So, I would play the radio, but it just so happened to get stolen." Tyler said after the three had climbed into his car. Tyler was driving and Josh had called shotgun so Nation had been shoved in the back seat.

"Jersey, man," Nation chuckled.

"No, you don't understand, I hate the silence."

"Why? I kinda enjoy it sometimes," Josh said giving his friend an odd look as they pulled out of the Way's driveway.

"Quiet is violent," Nation replied expressionless. Tyler glanced up into the rear view mirror at her with a knowing look that she returned.

"Anyway," Josh said quickly changing the subject, having recognized Tyler's look, "Tyler and I wanted to show you something when we get to my place."

"What?"

"It's a surprise."

Nation raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Last time someone said that to me I was told my mom died."

"What?" Josh said turning around to look at her.

"Frank's got a brilliant way with words," Nation replied with a shrug. "But, you can't kill her again so it can't be that," she chuckled, trying to loosen the tension she had suddenly caused.

 _Why did I say that? I'm such an idiot._ She thought to herself.

**

Tyler pulled into what Nation assumed to Josh's driveway. The three got out of the car and Nation looked up at the house and smiled. "Nice place," She commented.

"Thanks," Josh said looking down at her. She hated being so short. "It's not like our old place. My room's really small so I can't have my kit in my room anymore. So, we're stuck in the garage most of the time," he said as they approached the garage. He flipped up a tab and typed in the passcode before the garage started to open. They waited a moment before ducking under the door.

Nation looked around the garage. There wasn't much there: a few boxes that had yet to be unpacked, tools, Josh's kit, a keyboard, and the lonesome microphone that was hanging from the ceiling by duct tape.

She pointed at the mic. "Nice rig," She chuckled.

"Shut up," Josh laughed as he went over and sat down behind his drums, picking up his sticks and twirling them between his fingers. Nation grabbed a chair from the corner of the garage pulling it closer to the two guys.

"We made a band," Tyler announced proudly.

"The two of you?"

Josh gave her an annoyed look. "Yes the two of us. We wanted you to hear a couple songs. Wanted to know what a 'professional' thought."

Nation scuffed. "Then you've got the wrong girl. You might want Haley Williams for that one."

Tyler rolled his eyes. "You're close enough."

"Wow, thanks. I feel so loved." The guys chuckled at her reaction. "But, anyway, now I'm curious. Let's hear it then."

Josh looked at Tyler, "What are we playing?"

"That's a good question."

Nation laughed at the two exchanges of words.

"Ode to Sleep?" Tyler suggested. The title alone caught Nation attention.

"Did you write it?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah,' Tyler nods and looks towards Josh who counts off quickly begins to drum. Nation had to admit that the beat was fun, making her want to dance. It wasn't until the lyrics began did she realize that the song was anything but.

"I wake up fine and dandy but then by the time I find it handy,  
To rip my heart apart and start planning my crash landing,  
I go up, up, up, up, up to the ceiling,  
Then I feel my soul start leaving, like an old man's hair receding,  
I'm pleading please, oh please on my knees repeatedly asking,  
Why it's got to be like this, is this living free,  
I don't want to be the one, be the one who has the sun's blood on my hands,  
I'll tell the moon, take this weapon forged in darkness,  
Some see a pen, I see a harpoon."

Nation listened intently to every word, absorbing it all in, fighting everything in her to get up and hug the boy before the song ended.

"I'll stay awake,  
'Cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight.

Why am I not scared in the morning,  
I don't hear those voices calling,  
I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out,  
I swear I heard demons yelling,  
Those crazy words they were spelling,  
They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone.

But I'll tell them,  
Why won't you let me go?  
Do I threaten all your plans?  
I'm insignificant.  
Please tell them you have no plans for me.  
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?  
I'll tell them.

On the eve of a day that's forgotten and fake,  
And the trees they await and clouds anticipate,  
The start of a day when we put on our face,  
A mask that portrays that we don't need grace,  
On the eve of a day that is bigger than us,  
But we open our eyes 'cause we're told that we must,  
And the trees wave their arms and the clouds try to plead,  
Desperately yelling there's something we need,  
I'm not free, I asked forgiveness three times,  
Same amount that I denied, I three-time mvp'ed this crime,  
I'm afraid to tell you who I adore, won't tell you who I'm singing towards,  
Metaphorically I'm a whore, and that's denial number four.

I'll stay awake,  
'Cause the dark's not taking prisoners tonight.

Why am I not scared in the morning,  
I don't hear those voices calling,  
I must have kicked them out, I must have kicked them out,  
I swear I heard demons yelling,  
Those crazy words they were spelling,  
They told me I was gone, they told me I was gone.

But I'll tell them,  
Why won't you let me go?  
Do I threaten all your plans?  
I'm insignificant,  
Please tell them, you have no plans for me,  
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?  
I'll tell them, you have no plans for me,  
I will set my soul on fire,  
What have I become?  
I'll tell them,  
I'll tell them,  
I'll tell them,  
I'll tell them,

Please tell them, you have no plans for me,  
I will set my soul on fire, what have I become?  
I'm sorry."

Nation stood up as Tyler finished, opening his eyes took see her reaction. She took quick strides towards him before wrapping her around his neck, hugging him tightly. Tears threatened to spill over at the thought of this being bottled up in her friend's head.

"I won't even bother asking if you're okay," She whispered whilst resting her head on the boys shoulder.

Tyler tensed at the sudden contact but soon relaxed and hugged the small girl back. Tyler let out a light chuckle. "I'm just sorry that you understand," He whispered back.

"Am I missing something?" Josh asked as he stood from behind his drums. Both Tyler and Nation turned to look at him, giving him the same look. "Ew, I know that look."

"I agree," Nation replied.

"What?"

"Ew," She grinned.

Tyler chuckled looking down at her with a small smile, "Ew, indeed."

**

"We're what?" Nation asked blankly looking at her father as if he had just grown two heads. The words replayed in her head over and over.

_We're going back on tour next week._

This has been the first time she hasn't put her hand through a wall -as far as her father knows, (you can still tell where there were wholes from past years). Between Tyler, Josh, and Dan, this has been the first time she hasn't gone crazy. There had finally been people that will listen, not judging her. This past few months have been brutal, between the return of her nightmares, her insomnia, and the events of the night before, coming home was probably the best/worst thing to happen to her.

It's given her a chance to slow down for a bit and think over everything. Even as it as caused the destruction of her most prized possession, it has brought her good. She's made friends, been to parties, escaped her thoughts even if for moments.

But suddenly everything floods back to her.

Not the excitement of touring, making memories, playing shows, meeting fans and going to interviews. No, it's the sudden terror that she faces the moment before she runs out. It's the anxiety that builds up when she's invited to an interview with her family, the shaking of her hands as she ponders what she'll say wrong.

"We're leaving next Friday. I know I should have told you sooner. It's just you've been having so much fun with Josh and Tyler, I didn't just want to walk in and rain on your parade so early," Gerard told his daughter from where he sat next to her on the couch.

"It would have been better to tell me earlier, you know," She sighed leaning back into the couch with her arms crossed. She wore a blank expression as always.

"Yeah," he sighed running a hand through his hair, "I'm not exactly smart if you haven't noticed. Uniforms are being sent here tomorrow. Hope you like skirts."

Nation crinkled her nose. "Why the hell would you do such a thing to me?"

"Mark wants to remind people that you're actually a girl," he told her with an odd look to which she laughed. It has often happened when Nation would be referred to as Gerard's son and it seemed to bother the boy's manager more than the young Way herself. "So, the skirt was his idea. You only have to wear it for photoshoots, maybe a couple shows. We got you pants too."

Nation chuckled at the thought of Gerard telling Mark, "okay, only if she would get a pair of pants to match the guys." The look on Mark's face must have been priceless.

"You should have seen his face," Gerard chuckled causing Nation to laugh.

"God I wish I was there," She replied. Her hand went up to her throat and she swallowed hard, remembering where her mother's locket lies. It was one of the few possessions she had owned from her mother, and now it lay broken on her bedroom floor. Gerard quickly took notice of the absence of the jewelry.

"Where's your-"

She turned her head away. "Don't wanna talk about it."

"What happe-"

"It's broke. That's all that matters," She snapped as she stood up abruptly, taking quick strides out of the room in hopes that he wouldn't follow. But her father had other ideas. As she bounded up the stairs he followed after her, calling her name.

"Nation, come back here," He called, concern clear in his voice. "Nation, Nation. Nation Michelle Helena Way, get your ass back here." She stopped mid-step as she was about to enter her room.

"Why? So I can tell you how I screwed up and then for you to repeat the same words but harsher? I'm fine thanks."

"What?" His brow knit together. "What do you mean? Nation, you know you can talk to me."

"If you haven't noticed, I'm done talking to people about what the hell is going on in my head. No one seems to understand anyway."

Gerard ran a hand through his hair, "Shit. Nation, no one is going to fucking understand you. You're a Way, we're so complicated we can't even figure out _ourselves._ It's not like Mikey and I got pulled into our nasty little drug addiction just for the hell of it. So stop for five fucking minutes and tell me what's wrong because I've noticed you've been acting different. You've found me passed out on the bathroom floor and I'm finding you before you can fall."

"What about when I slip?"

"There's no preventing that. But, that doesn't mean you can't catch yourself," he said as he stepped forward. She shook her head and backed into her room, trying to close the door before he stuck his foot in the doorway before she could. He winced at the pain in his foot, wondering how his mother seemed to do it effortlessly. He pushed open the door his eyes softening when he saw the state of her room.

The drawers of her dressers were pulled open, dirty clothes had been thrown towards the laundry hamper, just barely missing. Paper littered the ground from where she tossed it after scrapping a drawing. Sheet music littered the floor around her stand, the only thing in the room seeming to be left untouched being the violin itself. Her bed was unmade, her television still on, a hole about the size of her fist beneath it. In the center of the room, laying on the floor is her mother's old silver locket. The chain snapped in two, the locket broken apart, the picture that had been in it stained with tears.

Nation hung her head in shame.

She was not expecting the sudden hug from her father.

"I don't care about your room. I don't care about the locket. I'm kind of annoyed about the hole but that can be Frank's problem. The only thing I really care about is what's going on in your head because you being happy will always be my only focus."

"You need a hobby then. Sorry," She shook her head as she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her head in his chest. She mumbled into his shirt, "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"Okay."

**

"Don't go," Josh whined as he hugged Nation for what seemed like the twelfth time that night. She and Tyler were staying the night at his house as for Nation leaving the next day. It took a lot of convincing but between the boys straight A's and trustworthy behavior, all parents agreed. They were current sprawled out on the couch in the living room whilst watching endless movies.

"I have to," Nation replied with a frown. He pouted, resting his chin atop her head. She curled into his side resting her head on his chest as she searched for warmth. The room was freezing but she didn't have the heart to tell the boys as they were both in just their boxers. That was an interesting conversation, the two asking if it would make her uncomfortable. To which she replied she has lived on a tour bus with five men for most of her life.

Tyler must have noticed her slight shiver. "Are you cold?" He asked his friend.

"No," She replied shaking her head no.

"Nation, you're freezing," Josh replied flatly. She shrugged.

"No big deal," Nation said eyes going back to the screen. Tyler shook his head before standing from the couch and disappearing down the hall. Josh and Nation could hear his feet as he bounded up the stairs. Nation pondered where he was going before a moment later he returned with the duvet from Josh's room along with his pillows.

"Oh, I'll get the rest," Josh said as his eyes settled on his best friend. Nation pulled away from Josh before he stood up, quickly disappearing.

"So, should the three of us try and lie out on the couch or should we just make a giant cloud of pillows?" Tyler asked as he dropped the things by his feet.

"Pillow cloud sounds great," Nation replied with a grin. She stood up as to help Tyler as Josh came back into the room with a mountain of pillows and blankets. "Where the hell did all of those come from?"

"Ashley's on a school trip so I stole her stuff and then the rest is from the closet in the hall," Josh replied with a dashing smile. The three then got to work constructing their pillow cloud.

"Surprisingly comfortable," Nation noted at the three finally settled down for the night. It was about three am and they had run out of movies to watch. Josh turned off the television just as Nation was claiming her spot in the center of the pillow cloud. Tyler came over and collapsed onto the space to her right.

"I second that," Tyler said as he pulled the blanket over himself.

Josh crawled under the blanket at Nation's left. "Thirded."

"Uh, Josh, that's not a word." Nation turned her head to give the older boy an odd look.

"It is now."

"Okay then," She chuckled. "Night guys."

"Night, Nation."

**

Nation sat up right, breathing heavily. She was drenched in sweat, tears cascading down her face like waterfalls.

"Nation, Nation look at us," Josh told the younger girl, placing his hand on her shoulder. She flinched away from his touch and he quickly pulled away, looking at her concerned.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. It's just us," Tyler said softly. Nation looked straight at Tyler, trying to control her breathing. "Just breathe. In. Out." She did as told before wrapping her arms around Tyler, hugging him tightly. He hugged back just as strong, rubbing circles on her back. "Shh. You're okay. It's just a nightmare."

"No, it's not."

Tyler pulled away, using his thumb to wipe away her tears whilst Josh moved over so that he was right next to Tyler.

"Then what was it?" The drummer asked.

She shook her head. "I can't explain. J-just don't leave."

"Never."

**

The next morning, the three weren't smiling. They ate breakfast in silence, the only sound being the chewing of Poptarts.

"Don't go," Josh whispered quietly eyes on the table. "What the hell are Tyler and I supposed to do?"

"What you did before you met me, go to school, hang out, make music. Besides, it's not like I'm dying. I'll be back at the end of tour, and there will be breaks. I'll be back in a couple months and we can hang out then," She told him, trying to brighten the mood.

"You're going to call right," Tyler spoke up.

"Duh. I'm not an idiot. You two would be lost without me. I'm still trying to figure out how you even made it out of Ohio," She chuckled causing the two to laugh. The doorbell rang and the three frowned, knowing that the tour bus was waiting outside for Nation. She turned and wrapped her around Tyler for a long hug, before pulling away and hugging Josh.

"I'm gunna miss you. Text me during class if you need answers," She told them as they headed towards the door.

"When haven't we?" Tyler asked with a puzzled expression.

"Well, that's true," She chuckled before pulling the door open to be greeted by Frank's grin. "Hey, Frankie."

"Hey. You ready?" He asked before looking back at Tyler and Josh. "Hey, guys. Sorry but I kinda got to steal your friend for a couple months."

"As long as she comes back in one piece," Josh joked knowing Nation's tendency of getting into freak accidents.

Nation shook her head elbowing Josh. "Bye, losers. See you soon." Nation followed Frank out to the tour bus. She smiled at the driver before heading towards the back. Ray was already passed out on the couch with a blanket pulled over him. The rest of the guys were nowhere to be seen. She went back to the bunks to see her father, uncle, and Bob all passed out in their own bunks. Nation pulled open the drawers next her bunk and stuffed her overnight bag into it before climbing into her bunk between the other Ways.

She pulled her blankets around her after grabbing her laptop, thankful for the bus's wifi. Frank came back into the bunks and climbed into his across from Nation. She glanced over at the short man before opening her laptop. She clicked on Tumblr and began scrolling through her endless dash.


	5. Chapter 5

**"Hey, Little Mikey,"** Mikey said after climbing out of his bunk at around one o'clock. The rest of the guys were still passed out. Her eyes flew from her computer and to her Uncle. He stood next her to bunk with messy hair and tired eyes.

"Hey, Uncle Mikey," She replied. "What's up?"

"I need coffee."

"Same." She shut her laptop and slipped out of her bunk, following her uncle. Mikey picked up a pillow from the floor as we passed by Ray, tossing it at his sleeping form. He held up his arm to flip him off causing the Ways to chuckle. Mikey started the coffee pot whilst Nation stood in front of it impatiently.

"Where are we going first?" Nation asked curiously.

"Uh, somewhere in California," Mikey replied scratching the back of is head.

She furrowed her brow. "Don't we usually start down the East coast and _then_ go that way?"

"Yeah, but we've got photoshoots. They haven't even officially announced the tour. We don't have a show for two weeks. We've got a bunch of shoots and interviews and then the albums getting released the day of the first show on the twenty third."

"Hold on," She stopped him, "you're releasing the album on my birthday?" He nodded. "That wasn't expected."

"It was Bob's idea."

Nation snorted. "What? Did he think it'd ruin my birthday or something?"

"No clue. Gee and Frank were convinced you'd love it so here we are. Oh, and we're meeting up with Fall Out Boy when we reached Colorado. We're all getting a hotel and we're going to hang out for a bit. Pete wants to talk to you about something, I think."

"'Bout what?"

"No clue," He shrugged. Nation rolled her eyes.

"Fat lot of help you are."

He grinned. "You're welcome."

The coffee pot beeped causing both Ways to brighten just as Gerard walked into the room.

"I smell coffee."

**

"I feel like I've been on the bus for days," Nation groaned as she stepped off the tour bus, backpack slung over her shoulder as she followed after the guys.

"We have," Bob replied after exiting the bus. "Who's rooming where?"

"I'm with Pete," Mikey announced causing the men to look at him strangely. "What? I haven't seen the guy in forever, dudes like my best friend." Nation had to cover her mouth to keep herself from laughing. The Fall Out Boy tour bus pulled up, just as our bus pulled away. We stopped and waiting for the band to get off.

"Mikey!" Pete said excitedly, grin plastered across his face. He was the first one off the bus. He came over and quickly wrapped his arms around Nation's uncle. They hugged and Nation realized Pete was using every ounce of force he had to keep himself from kissing the man. He then went around and said hello to the rest of the band, hugging each of them before scooping Nation into his arms.

She hugged him tightly as he lifted her off his feet, setting her on his hip as if she was toddler. "Hiya Petey," She grinned. "How ya been?"

"Tired as hell, but when aren't I?" he chuckled.

"True. Nice eyeliner, by the way. Now put me down. I need to hug our fellow midgets." Pete chuckled as he set the teenager on the ground. She proceeded to run over to Patrick. He turned away from Ray and grinned opening his arm. "PATTYCAKES!"

"NATION!" He exclaimed just as excitedly as she collided into him. The two hugged tightly whilst the rest of the two bands laughed at the two. The two pulled away after a moment then Nation grabbed Patrick's snapback and placed it atop her own head before frowning. "Never take this off," She said before placing the hat back on his head.

She then turned around and threw her arms around Andy. "My favorite straight-edge vegan," She declared before going to Joe. "Oh look, its' Princess Fro Fro's long lost sister, Princess Fro Fro the second." Joe chuckled as he hugged her.

"Nice to see you too, Nation," Joe grinned. The two bands then proceeded to enter the hotel as discussion broke out about My Chem's new tour and Fall Out Boy's current tour. Mikey and Pete were attached at the hip talking eagerly. Gerard had his arm thrown around Frank's shoulders as the two spoke to Patrick. The Fro's were in an intense conversation about guitar's and Nation wondered how the two kept their fros so perfect.

Nation, Andy, and Bob all walked side by side towards the back of the group silently. Andy had always been quiet and Nation and Bob weren't speaking to each other anytime soon. It was a surprise to Nation when the drummer spoke to her in a civil tone.

"Frank and Gee are rooming together, so are Mikey and Pete. Ray and Joe are together. Andy, you're with Patrick, right?" He asked his fellow drummer who nodded in response.

"Joyous," Nation mumbled.

"Agreed," Bob said whilst stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Let's agree to not murder each other in our sleep."

The teenager grinned. "No promises."

**

"FINALLY ACUTAL SUSHI!" Mikey shouted excited as he hopped out of the SUV closely followed by his niece.

"IT'S A MYRICAL!" She declared excitedly as she followed after him. They calmed themselves before opening the door and entering the restaurant.

"Hello," A man greeted them as they entered. "Just the two of you?"

"Uh no, there's," Nation trailed off as she counted off everyone on her fingers. "Ten of us. That right?"

"Uh, me, you, gee, Frank, Bob, and Ray is six plus Fob makes ten so yeah, you're right," Mikey said doing the same thing she had. The man nodded and grabbed a waitress asking her to push a couple tables together for him.

"It'll be a just a few minutes," He told the Ways just as the rest of them entered the restaurant. Gerard and Pete were speaking to each other. Pete looked as if he was explaining something to him whilst Gerard was going over it in his head.

"I'm okay with it. You'd have to ask her. Living in an apartment with a bunch of guys she's never met will probably concern her," Gerard told the bassist. Nation's brow furrowed and she looked up at Mikey who shrugged. The man left for a moment before returning a moment later holding menus for the group.

The ten were sitting around three tables pushed up against each other, eating their sushi as they talked amongst themselves. Nation sat across from Pete, with Mikey to her right, Patrick to her left. Pete was sat between Frank and Gerard, putting him in a Frerard sandwich.

"So, Nation," Pete said looking up from his food, "I've got a question for you."

"Shoot," She said before shoveling more food into her mouth.

"You know that band I just signed, Panic! At the Disco?" She nodded. "Well, they've had some trouble getting started with their new album and I feel like they need someone that knows how this industry works. I was wondering if you'd be cool with going out to Maryland and helping the guys out."

"How old are they?"

"Sixteen and seventeen. You've got Brendon, Ryan, Spencer, and Jon. They're looking for an apartment out there now and will be out there by the end of November. You'd probably have to live with them." He explained she looked towards Gerard.

"And you're okay with this?"

He shrugged. "It's not like you have school. Besides, how bad could you fuck up?"

"Dad, you know my family tree better than I do."

He stopped and thought about that for a moment. "Point made. But, I don't care. You can go if you want."

"Wow. Wasn't really expecting that, but okay. Sure. I'll go."

Pete furrowed his brow. "That was easier than expected."

**

"I hate photoshoots," Nation mumbled as she adjusted the black veil atop her head. It covered half her face, obscuring her completion from the public whilst also fitting the theme of the album. It surprised Nation as to how she was still able to see so well.

"Finally, something we can agree on," Bob grumbled as he ran a comb through his hair.

"Nation, they only asked you for the one group shot and then couple with me and Mikey," Gerard reminded the girl and she shrugged.

"Still doesn't mean I like photoshoots," The girl replied.

Frank stood up from where he was, already ready. He stood a few inches from Nation face as the two had a staring contest.

"What the fuck is going on?" Mikey asked brow furrowed as he looked at his niece staring down the man child. Their stares hardened until Nation spoke, her face deadpan.

"Potato." Frank erupted into a fit of giggles whilst Nation smirked, pleased with herself. "I win," She declared, before heading towards the door, followed by her confused family.

Gerard looked down at his daughter, slightly concerned. "What even was that?"

She only looked at him. Honestly, the young girl didn't even know what had happened herself. The six continued on with their day, finishing the photoshoot with ease. They immediately started with the group shot that would be used for some of the first merchandise released. Afterwards, Nation stood off to the side and watched as the band took more shots before Frank, Ray and Bob separated themselves from the Ways.

They took a few shots before Nation was called over.

Nation went back over to her small family. She smiled up at them grabbing each of their hands as she stood between them. She bowed her head, her eyes locking onto the floor as she found her shoes suddenly interesting. She didn't like the camera and it didn't like her, why should she look at it?

Her head snapped up, having not expected the picture to be taken. She looked at Gerard who smiled down at her. They then proceeded to move and stand the way they had for the last time the three had a photoshoot together.

Nation stood front and center a smirk on her lips whilst she crossed her arms. Gerard and Mikey stood behind her. Mikey stood poker faced with hands behind his back. Gerard had his right arm behind his back, the other on Nation's shoulder. The camera flashed before she turned her head, looking up at Gerard. Another flash. She then looked at Mikey, another flash.

"Hey, Gerard, can we get some of just you and Nation?" the photographer asked.

Gerard looked at Mikey for approval but he was already making his way towards the other guys. "Yeah, sure," He answered. "Anything in mind?"

"Can we get you two back to back? I'm sure you two can think of something from there." The two nodded and stood back to back, looking straight ahead for a moment before turning and facing the camera. They looked behind their shoulders at each other before chuckling.

"Turn around," Gerard said as he did so. Nation turned around and copied her father's actions of kneeling on the floor. He smiled and held up his hand left hand. "Come on."

She rolled her eyes, chuckling as she brought her right hand up to his. She met his eyes and soft smiles formed on their pale faces.

"God I feel small," She laughed before placing her hands in her lap, tilting her head to the side as she looked at her father.

"Because you are," He chuckled, dropping his hand as well.

"Wow, thanks. I didn't notice."

"Welcome."

She frowned. "Now what?"

"I think we've got all we need," The photographer called to us with a smile. Nation sighed in relief, tugging at the end of her skirt.

"Finally, I can get out of this fucking death trap."

**

Nation stood side by side with her father in the Starbucks at the airport waiting for their drinks. "I can't believe I'm about to do this," Nation mumbled to herself, as she shook her head. She looked up at her father with fearful eyes, "What if they hate me?"

"They won't hate you," Gerard told her before thanking the barista taking their coffees from her. He handed Nation her mocha. "Pete told them who the hell you are and they were thrilled. Apparently yesterday they got in an argument over the lyrics because someone used the others shampoo," Gerard finished his sentence sounding confused as they walked out of the Starbucks, heading towards her gate. Her luggage was already checked in but boarding wasn't for another twenty minutes.

"What the fuck am I getting myself into?" Nation chuckled. That's when the sudden realization of having to go on a plane without her father sunk in. "Fuck, I'm flying alone."

"Which," Gerard said as he slung his backpack in front of him, unzipping it. He pulled out a small stuffed wolf and held it out to his fifteen year old. "Is why I got this."

Nation couldn't help but chuckle. "Dad, I'm not five anymore."

"Okay, I'll just put it back in my-" Gerard started to say with a smirk on his face. He grinned when she snatched the stuffed animal out of his hands.

"He's fluffy," Nation said as she held the stuffed toy and began stroking the toy. "I shall name him Albert."

"Albert?"

"Yeah, cause who wants to be named Albert. Shout out to all the Albert out there," She said as she hugged the wolf. Gerard chuckled at his daughter's words.

They continued to walk, discussing what events await her in Maryland, until they finally reached her gate with just less than five minutes to spare.

She took a deep breath, looking at the gate. "I'm scared," She said honestly. "I'm fucking terrified. I haven't been separated from you guys for that long in a while."

"Hey, you're going to be fine," Gerard said as he wrapped his arms around her. "You're a Way. We're the prime example of okay. Okay, that's a lie."

"You think?" Nation giggled as she pulled away. They airport called for her flight and she leaned up and kissed her father's cheek. "Bye, Daddy. I love you."

"Love you too," he replied before she left his side. "Call me when you land!" he called after her.

"I will!"

**

Nation hugged Albert to her chest as the plane landed. The woman sitting to her left seemed unfazed by the landing but had asked her several times throughout the flight if she was okay. The woman seemed very kind and talked to Nation, trying to get her mind off of the fact that they were thousands of feet in the air.

Nation learned much about the woman in the long hours. She was heading home from a business trip for the company she worked at and was thrilled to return home to her husband and children. She had an eleven year old daughter and a six year old son. This had made Nation grin. It was obvious from the get go that she was a mother, the kind smile and worried eyes. It was in her instincts to make sure everything was alright.

The flight attendants voice came over the speakers telling them that they can unbuckle their seat belts and get off the plane. Nation turned to the woman and smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. When you find those friends of yours, make sure you call your father. If he's as great as you say, he's been bound to be worrying since the minute you left his side."

Nation smiled and laughed, hugging Albert to her chest. "You couldn't be more right."

Nation followed everyone off the plane and a few minutes later she was picking up her luggage: one large suitcase and a smaller one to accompany it. She was moving in with the boys for the next few months. She then began to wonder the airport in search of her new roommates. Having no clue what they looked like she decided her searches would be made better off directed towards a Starbucks.

That's when her eyes caught on a group of four boys sitting on a bench holding up a piece of paper that read **"Michelle Helena Way."** She stopped where she stood giving up on coffee and hoped that the boys owned a coffee pot. She pulled her luggage behind her as she made her way towards the four boys.

 _What are the odds that they're all brunettes?_ Nation wondered, although it had nothing to do with anything. She walked up to the four boys who seemed to be more interested in the conversation they were having than the fact that they were supposed to be waiting for someone to meet them.

"Panic! At the Disco?" She asked the four, pointing towards the sign in their hands. One of the boys with shaggy brown hair, warm chocolate eyes, large forehead and thin frame looked at her, answering.

"Yeah."

"I'm Nation Way," She replied timidly. The boy stood up, smiling. Nation internally sighed, hating how short she was.

"Brendon Urie," he introduced himself as she crumpled up the paper, shoving it in his pocket. "This is Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith, and Jon Walker." Each of the guys smiled and shook her hand as Brendon introduced them. "So, being that those bags are literally twice your size, Ryan can carry them."

Ryan's brow furrowed and he looked at Brendon in confusion. But before he could protest Brendon was grinning at Nation, offering her an arm.

"Care to head to our piece of shit car," he asked with a sly grin.

"Do I have an option," She laughed as she looped her arm through Brendon's.

"Unless you want to walk home."

"Piece of shit car it is."

**

The five of them climbed into the beat of piece of shit that Brendon called a car. The rest of Panic! still wonder why thye bought the damn thing being that it doesn't start half the time.

Brendon got into the driver's seat and Nation took shotgun, forcing the others to squish together in the back seat.

"So, Pete didn't really explain that much to me. This was kind of just my plan to get out of preforming in front of thousands of people for a while," Nation told the boys as she set Albert in his lap, running her fingers over the soft fur.

"Wow, I feel so loved," Jon chuckled.

"Honestly, we aren't quite sure either. Pete said you'd know after a couple days," Ryan said leaning forwards from where he was squished between Jon and Spencer.

"Brilliant," Nation mumbled, before turning her head to look out the window, but continued talking. "How long have you guys been here?"

"Couple days actually. The place only has two rooms, so basically you get to choose between rooming with Ryro and I or Spence and Jon. Figured you take a couple days before deciding. You know, get to know us a bit more."

She nodded. "Sounds good to me."

The five sat in silence before Spencer spoke up. "Okay, I can't be the only one that thinks this is kinda weird and really awkward."

Nation sighed in relief. "Oh thank god. Honestly, I think this is the weirdest most spontaneous thing I've ever done." The guys chuckled. "So, want to tell me about yourselves?"

"How about we play twenty questions?" Ryan suggested.

"Sure. You go first."

"What's it like touring all the time with My Chem?" Jon quickly asks. The guys all give him looks, besides Brendon, who kept his eyes on the road.

"Really?" Ryan asked.

Nation chuckled. "No, it's fine, really. It's fun I guess. I don't like sitting still for too long, so being on the road all the time is great. The shows are fantastic and I make a lot of great memories. It's kinda funny watching my family be themselves instead of the world wanted them to be." This caused the guys to grin, not having expected such an answer. "Alrighty, my turn, who plays what?"

Brendon answered. "I sing and play rhythm guitar. Ryan's lead guitar, Jon plays bass, and Spence is our little drummer boy. What about you?"

"I sing a little. Okay, that's actually an understatement. I sing back up during MCR concerts and I'm actually on the new album if you didn't know already. I play violin, piano, ukulele, cello, viola, and contra bass."

"Long list," Jon chuckles. "Sounds like someone we know." Brendon grinned glancing quickly at him.

"How'd you all meet?"

"Hell," They replied simultaneously.

"Huh?"

Ryan chuckled. "School. You know that building you're forced to go to get told useless information."

"Oh, sorry. It probably should have clicked. I never went to public or private school if you haven't notice."

"Online classes?" Spencer asked and her nodded. "You still doing that?"

"I finished a couple years ago. Grandparents have been trying to get me to go to college for a while now. I don't have clue what I want to do though, so why should I? I mean, I'm making more off being on two songs for The Black Parade than I would working at McDonalds. Not to mention I'm having fun doing it. So why stop?"

"How much did you make?" Jon asked curiously.

"Wouldn't know. Dad has control of it because I'm a minor. I just ask for money and he puts it in my separate account when I need it. All I know is that I could move out a support myself for quite a bit before I'd have to get a job. How long 'til we get to the apartment?"

"Like half an hour. There's some albums in the glove box if you wanna pick one," Ryan replied. Nation reached forward and opened the glove box, skimming through the collection before settling on Green Day's American Idiot.

"Nice collection," She commented as she pulled out the CD, popping it into the CD player.

"It's kind of sad once you know that that's all of our albums combined."

"Wow," Nation replied sadly. "We should drive up to Jersey one day so I can get my collection. Lot more fun."

**

"Welcome home," Brendon said as he pushed open the door to their apartment. Nation followed close after him, leaving the other three to drag Nation's luggage up the stairs. She had tried to take it herself but Brendon had pushed her through the front door of the building, insisting that the guys had it.

The first thing you saw when you enter the room was couch pushed up against the wall to make room for the drum kit. Set next to it, on stands were Brendon and Ryan's guitar's along with Jon's bass. A key board was up against the opposite side of the room from the couch. Around the room were several amps, a couple cheap mics set on mostly duct tape mic stands.

The kitchen was just a few feet away, smaller than the rest of the rooms in the apartment. It had a few cupboards, a refrigerator, and a circular table in the center of the room, several chairs around it. Towards the right of the kitchen were two doors, each lead to a separate bedroom.

The guys seemed to have written their names on the doors. The one on the left had Spencer and Jon's names written on it whilst the other had Brendon and Ryan's names. Nation pondered which door would have her name written across it.

"It's homie," Nation said just as the other three guys came into the room. "I can get used to this."

"Really?" Ryan asked. "I thought you'd be used to like the nicest house and five star hotels."

Nation chuckled. "Yeah, I've got a big house, but that doesn't mean anything. Besides, hotels are holy grails when on tour. I'm stuck on a bus with five guys ninety five perfect of the time. The rest is shows."

"Sounds great, to be honest," Jon replied.

Nation grinned ear to ear, "It is."

**

Nation awoke to a not so nice morning. The pitter patter of rain against the window greeted her ears accompanied with Jon singing Eye of Tiger at the top of the lungs whilst in the shower was not what she expected. She groaned rolling over only to proceed to fall off the small couch, banging her head on Spencer's stool.

Her pain was soon followed by Brendon's hysterical laughter. She sat up off the floor frowning, rubbing the back of her head. She glared at the taller boy as she stood up.

"Thanks for the concern," She grumbled as she made her way towards the kitchen. "Is there coffee?"

"Uh, I don't think so," Brendon said as he followed after her. He opened one of the top cupboards. "Uh, no. Actually, I'm pretty sure the only thing to eat is leftover pizza. Hell, we don't even have plates."

Nation sighed not truly knowing how to cope without her caffeine. "We gotta go to Wall-e-world later then."

"What?"

"What?"

"The hell is Wall-e-world?"

"Walmart," She replied slowly, staring at him crazily.

"Who the fuck calls it Wall-e-world?"

"Not you apparently," She said still looking at him confused. She then proceeded to open the fridge from when she saw there wasn't even pizza. "Liar." She closed the door. She took a step to her left pulling open a draw and smiled in triumph when she found a wad of paper and a pen. She unraveled it to reveal the paper to be blank.

"What are you doing?" Ryan asked as he entered the kitchen with a yawn. His hair was a mess and his shirt seemed to be missing.

"Making a list. We need coffee and apparently food and plates and shit and good god is this what adults feel like? Like, I'm fucking fifteen, I don't want to be an adult. I want to come home to hot food and clean laundry. I mean, even if it's take out and frebrezed... What am I talking about my life hasn't changed that much," She rambled before going back to making a list. "Just f.y.i. I'm a vegetarian."

Just then Jon walked in with a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked so shocked. "But...bacon..." Nation suddenly thought of the video Frank showed her of a pig getting slaughtered. She shuddered at the thought. "Never mind then. When we leaving? If we're going now I need to beat Spencer with a pillow."

"Later," Nation said waving the boy off. Jon nodded before walking away.

"Oh, yeah, Nation," Ryan said catching the girls attention as he rummaged through the cupboards in search of some sort of food, grinning when he found a box of cereal. The three smiled at the sight. They sat down at the table. "I was just wondering if you had any ground rules cause we've never met you, but we all know each other. It must be kinda weird living with four strangers, let alone a bunch of guys."

Ryan dumped the cereal on the table and the three each took handfuls, eating like it was with having no other option.

"Ryan I lived-"

"On a tour bus with five guys for the majority of your life. I get it," Ryan said stopping her short. "But you've always known them, they're your family. Not a bunch of horny teenagers." Brendon snorted. Ryan rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I mean, there's the obvious don't walk around with our dicks hanging out and don't peep when your nude."

"But no promises," Brendon butted in.

Nation couldn't help but laugh. "No shit. Honestly though I'm used to all of that. You should probably just know that I really don't like shirts."

Brendon perked up at the words. "Not a problem."

Nation and Ryan glared at him.

"Sorry."

Nation shook her head. "I'm takin' a shower," She announced.

"I'll join you," Brendon said cheekily.

Ryan glared at him whilst Nation chuckled. Ryan hit his friend upon his head. "Dude."

"What?"

Nation chuckled as she walked over to her bags, grabbing a change of clothes, her soaps and her makeup bag before heading to the small bathroom. She dropped her makeup bag on the counter claiming the right corner as her own little space seeming that the other guys had claimed the rest of the small counter. Nation started the shower whilst listening in on Ryan scold his friend.

"Dude, what the hell was that?" Ryan asked angrily. Brendon furrowed his brow.

"What? It's not like this is anything new?"

Ryan sighed frustrated as he ran a hand through his hair. "I swear to god you flirt with anything that breaths."

"That's a lie," Brendon retaliated just as Spencer walked into the room looking tired. "I haven't flirted with Spencer!"

"Brendon I'm straighter than a pencil and you know it," The man mentioned replied as he pulled out a chair taking a seat. He stared at the cereal for a moment before digging in.

Brendon shrugged. "Doesn't mean a thing."

Ryan shook his head. "Brendon, you can flirt with Jon twenty-four seven for all I care. Just leave Nation alone. You heard what Pete said about her. She's off limits. Besides, we have to live with the girl, at least until we get out shit together. Treat her with some damn respect. If she decides to acknowledge your existence for some god forsaken reason, then at least talk to Pete before trying to get in her pants."

Brendon scuffed whilst Nation had to stiffle a laugh. "Stop acting like that's that only thing on my mind."

"Brendon, that was the first thing on _all_ of our minds when Pete told us she was staying with us," Spencer said looking up at his friend with an unfazed look as Jon walked into the room wearing cloths.

"He speaks the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth," Jon spoke.

Ryan nodded. "I'm not even gunna lie, the girls smokin', but lay off."

Brendon pouted, crossing his arms. "Fine."

The boys sat in silence at the table as Nation turned off the water.

Jon spoke up, loud enough for the girl to hear clearly. "You heard all of that didn't you?"

The four waited for a response.

"Glad to know you think I'm smokin', Ry Ry," She called back. The guys all chuckled as Ryan turned bright red.

**

The five teenagers sat around the small kitchen table with pizza in front of them. They had gone to the grocery store a few days before yet had still settled on ordering a pizza, with Nation insisting on paying seeing as she wasn't helping pay rent because she didn't legally live there. Being only fifteen she couldn't legally move out, so the guys couldn't exactly tell the landlord that she was there.

"So, wait, you're telling me that your parents kicked you out all because you aren't religious?" Nation said as she looked across the table at Brendon in confusion. He nodded as he took a bite out of his pizza. "Shit heads. I mean, my grandparents hate the fact that I'm atheist but they didn't-wait I never lived with them."

The guys chuckled.

"True. They didn't really kick me out though. They told me I should probably start looking for my own place and I kinda just crashed at Ryan's for the most part."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "It's not like you weren't doing that anyway." Nation smiled at the two shaking her head. "So, Nation it's been a few days, you pick roomies yet?"

She nodded her head. "I already wrote my name on the door you idiot."

Jon frowned. "I saw. Highly disappointed in your choice of roommates, Nation."

Brendon smirked. "I'm not complaining." Ryan elbowed his best friend. Jon and Spencer exchanged knowing looks with Nation. Spencer was about to say something when Nation phone started ringing, American Idiot suddenly playing. She rolled her eyes as he pulled it out checking the ID. She smiled when she saw Tyler's name.

She wiggled her eyebrows at the guys as she stood up causing them to chuckle. She moved into the living room, sitting behind Spencer's kit as she pressed talk. "Hey, Ty."

"Hey, Nation," Tyler's voice came through the phone, quickly followed by Josh.

"Hey, sis," Josh greeted happily. Over the past week, the two boys had started referring to her as their sister and she wasn't complaining. It was good to know she had people who cared so much for her.

A smile broke out on her face at the sound of his voice. "Hiya Josh. What's up?"

"We're bored," Tyler said flatly causing her to chuckle.

"Then drive to Maryland."

"Might just do that," Josh replied as if he was contemplating the thought. "Actually we already did. You're apartment twelve right?"

Nation stood up confused. "What?" That's when she heard the knock on the door. "No way! You didn't!"

"We did!" She heard Tyler said loudly from behind the front door. She looked towards the guys who were grinning widely, obviously having been in on the plan. Nation raced towards the front door and quickly pulled it open before throwing her arms around her two best friends.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! YOU GIANT DORKS I LOVE YOU!" The two guys wrapped their arms around the smaller girl.

Josh laughed. "Yeah, I called two days ago and apparently you were passed out. Brendon answered and said to drive down as soon as we could." Nation pulled away from Josh but grabbed him and Tyler by the wrists, dragging them into the apartment. Tyler closed the door behind him as Nation ran over and threw her arms around Brendon, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. Brendon grinned ear to ear as she pulled away. He looked towards Ryan who rolled his eyes.

"Brendon you're the best. I hope you two don't mind sleeping on the floor, wait actually, no, one of you can share my bed and the other can curl up on the couch," She said trailing off as she turned towards Panic! "But, I need help moving the mattress into the room."

Ryan waved her off. "I'll do it in a bit. You three go hang out. We need to work on some songs anyway."

Nation grinned hugging Ryan, pressing a kiss to his cheek before going and grabbing her keys. "Move it, brothers."

"Yes, ma'am," They saluted before following a chuckling Nation out the front door.


	6. Chapter 6

**"So, how's Jersey?" Na** tion asked the two boys as they walked down the Maryland streets. She held both of their hands, placing herself between the two.

"Oh, same old, same old. Finally got a new car radio," Tyler rambled before looking down at her with a smile, "Thanks by the way."

She smiled up at him. "No problem. I felt like you didn't deserve the constant existential crisis." The three chuckled. "Life's been weird the last couple days, to be honest. You two being here feels great."

"How come?" Josh asked her, brow furrowed.

She chuckled dryly. "How many times have you suddenly ran off to live with four guys you've never met because your uncle's boyfriend asked you to fix their band? I don't even know what's wrong yet! I haven't even heard them play."

"You'll figure it out eventually," Josh said as he let go of her hand and instead wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a side hug.

"We should probably head back," Tyler suggested, "It's getting kind of dark."

Nation looked up at the darkening sky. The street lights had come on reminding her of when she was younger. Her mother had always told her she could go outside and play until the streetlights came on. If she wasn't home by then, she was in major trouble. She never quite got to figure out what would have happened if she hadn't come home on time.

"Yeah. Which one of you is taking the couch?" She asked curiously as they turned around and headed back towards the apartment building.

"I will," Josh answered causing Nation to turn in look at Tyler, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Guess it's just you and me, Ty," She in a fake flirtatious manor. Both boys burst into giggles.

**

"That's shit," Brendon announced as Nation returned home with her friends. She stopped short and glanced at Tyler and Josh before entering the apartment further. The boys sat around the lounge with their instruments, Brendon and Ryan showing each other sheets of paper.

"You're just pissed cos I ate the last piece of pizza," Ryan said angrily.

Jon and Spencer sighed while sharing knowing looks. "Here we go again."

"No, I'm saying it's shit, because it is."

Nation dropped her keys on the kitchen table causing all the guys to look at her. Tyler and Josh leaned against the wall like the awkward potatoes they are. "Is this what the hell Pete was talking about?" She asked angrily as she walked over in an intimidating manor. She stood in front of Brendon and Ryan crossing her arms.

"What?" Brendon asked confused. "Ryan wrote some shit lyrics, I was just telling him how shit they were."

"Brendon, shut the fuck of for five seconds," Nation snapped at him and held out her hand to Ryan. He complied, handing over the lyrics. She read through them and noticed that he had begun to write out how it was to be sung. "What key is it in?" She asked curious as she walked over to where Ryan's acoustic was sitting.

"G."

She nodded and strummed for a moment before finding a nice melody and then looked back at the lyrics singing softly to herself, trying out the first few lyrics.

"Is it still me who makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress," She stopped and giggled for a moment, shaking her head, not having thought those words would come out of her mouth. "Then think of what you did and how I hope to god it was worth it." She stopped and shook her head laughing. "My god I'm too innocent for this."

Ryan laughed, a grin appearing on his face but soon vanished as Brendon spoke up.

"I can fix that."

Ryan elbows his friend, giving him a hard glare as he noticed Nation's reaction. Her smile vanished for a second before she quickly replaced it, now forced. She rubbed her arm uncomfortably.

"Brendon, Tyler's got a better chance than you," She replied with ease. Tyler was about to say something but had noticed Nation's change in behavior.

Josh snorted going along with it, having also noticed. "That's cold."

Nation shook her head. "Back to the song, Brendon, stop complaining. I could tell you hadn't even looked at the damn thing. This is right up your alley."

Brendon rolled his eyes, "Yeah? How?"

"Creative and well written yet rude and inappropriate, just like you," She grinned sarcastically, before putting the guitar down and handing the lyrics back to Ryan. "I suggest the next time you insult someone's work you at least take the time to look at it."

**

"God, there's like no room to move in here," Nation chuckled as she grabbed her pajamas to change into. Brendon, Ryan, and Nation each had their own mattress, all of them lined up side by side and pushed against the wall, each with their own blankets. You could easily tell the difference, Brendon's was unmade, none of his blankets matching. Ryan's looked like a college student's whilst Nation's was piled high with several pillows and blankets, with Albert resting atop all of them.

"No kidding," Ryan replied as he changed into a pair of sweatpants. Tyler entered the room changed into Star Wars pajamas that Nation couldn't help but chuckle at. But who was she to talk; she was wearing matching Mickey Mouse.

"Josh good?" Nation asked and Tyler nodded.

"Yeah, he's currently in 'the zone.' No surprise there," Tyler chuckled as he walked over and collapsed onto Nation's bed. The zone is what Tyler and Nation had started to call when Josh listens to music. He puts in his ear buds, lies down and gets really pissed if you try to talk to him. Nation related.

Brendon walked in after having just taken a shower. He was just dressed in a pair of boxers and was grinning like a mad man when Nation caught his eye. She rolled her eyes as she crawled in bed with a yawn, pushing Tyler to make room for herself.

"Night guys."

**

"Nation," Tyler said worriedly shaking the younger girl. She was drenched in sweat and shaking. Her eyes were clenched shut as she tossed and turned, clearly distressed. "Nation, wake up."

Ryan rolled over rubbing his eyes.

"What's going on?" he asked before looking at Nation. "Nation?"

Brendon sat up annoyed before standing up and turning on the lights. He grabbed his pillow and walked over to where Tyler was trying to wake the fifteen year old. "Move," He ordered voice scratchy from sleep. Tyler sat back, confused. His eyes widen as Brendon smacked the girl with the pillow.

Nation snapped awake with fear in her eyes, but she growled at Brendon nonetheless. "I don't care who just hit me. They are going to get killed later." Her voice was shaky as she slowly sat up, wiping the sweat from her brow. She looked towards Tyler, finding it hard to make eye contact with the look of concern on his face. She saw Brendon go back to bed looking pissed from being woken up whilst Ryan looks concerned, yet vaguely confused.

"Sorry I woke you guys up," Nation apologized. She reached over and grabbed her phone, unplugging it from its charger. "I'll be back in a minute," She mumbled as she left the room, feeling guilty for waking the boys. Ryan and Tyler watched her leave, clearly concerned.

"What was that?" Ryan asked Tyler, concern edged into his voice.

"She has nightmares. I don't think she's had one in a while, because she usually calls me and you guys would have noticed. They're not exactly fun," Tyler told Ryan.

Ryan nodded in understanding.

"Someone should have told us. I'm not in the mood to be woken up at five in the morning," Brendon grumbled.

"Fuck off," Ryan replied. "Is there anything we can do?"

Tyler shook his head. "Give her a minute. She's probably calling her dad."

"Oh joyous. Daddy's little princess," Brendon rolled her eyes. Ryan grabbed his pillow and smacked Brendon, hard. "What the fuck was that for?!"

"The hell has gotten into you lately?!"

"What do you mean?"

"All you've done is been a total ass to Nation," Ryan said furiously. Brendon was about to reply when Ryan cut him off, continuing. "Yes, I know you're an ass when you're tired, so shut the fuck up. I also know that you flirt with anything that breathes, just leave her the hell alone. It's started to make her uncomfortable and honestly it's just annoying the hell out of all of us at this point."

Brendon rolled over onto his side, back to the boys. Tyler looked at his lap, fiddling with his hands awkwardly, thankful for Ryan noticing Nation's uncomfortableness.

**

Nation paced back and forth in front of the apartment building, thankful for living in such a decent area. She opened her phone quickly going to her contacts, clicking on her father. She pressed the call button before holding it up to her ear and waiting for him to pick up. The phone was answered after three rings but it wasn't her father who answered the phone.

"You're Dad's passed out," Bob voice came through and Nation covered her mouth, holding back a sob. Tears were streaming down her face. She hadn't let them fall until she had gotten out the front door.

"Any of the other guys up?" She asked, trying to make it sound like she just bored.

"No. Are you alright?" Bob asked sounding generally concerned.

"Yeah," She replied. But how could she convince him, if she couldn't even convince herself.

She heard shuffling before Bob replied. "No you're not. You want me to wake up one of the guys?"

She sniffled, "Can you get Uncle Mikey?"

"Sure," He replied. She paced back and forth as she waited for her uncle.

"Mikey, Mikey wake the fuck up," Bob whispered harshly as he shook the bassist.

"Fuck off," He mumbled rolling over, putting his back to the drummer.

"It's Nation you jackass," Bob said. Mikey rolled over and yawned before looking at Bob confused.

"She okay?" Bob held out the phone to Mikey, who took it whilst climbing out of his bunk.

"I'm going to bed," Bob announced as Mikey walked into the lounge, collapsing onto the couch.

"Nation, are you alright?" Mikey asked worriedly. "Do I need to come kick someone's ass?"

Nation smiled through her tears. "No, god, no, please don't kick anyone's ass. No one needs their ass kicked. Okay, maybe Brendon but Ryan's got that."

"What happened?"

"Nightmare," She sighed.

"Which one?"

"Not mom," She replied quietly.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere. And neither is your Dad, or Frank or Ray. Not Tyler or Josh. Hell, not even Bob."

Nation sighed, running a hand through her messy hair as she walked over to a nearby bench, sitting down. "You keep saying that. But that doesn't mean the thought alone doesn't terrify me."

"The world's an ever changing place, Little Mikey. Of course it's terrifying. Now, important question, what do you want for Christmas?"

Nation smiled laughing a bit at the sudden change of subject. Mikey knew that he had to get her mind off her nightmares one way or another. "I'm not sure, yet. I've been looking into an electric violin."

"Gee's already called it, and don't say anything game related I might have to scream," Mikey told the girl, causing her to grin. She and her uncle always had this conversation around Christmas time. He always has no idea what to get her for Christmas so in the process of trying to figure it out, he slips up and tells her what the others had gotten her. "I kinda want to learn how to play bass."

Mikey grinned. "Finally" He exclaimed excitedly, "Something I can work with. I knew there was a reason you're my favorite."

"Out of what?"

"The band you idiot," He laughed.

"Didn't take much, to be honest."

"Couldn't agree more," He grinned. "Now tell me why Ryan's gunna beat the shit out of Brendon. I'm curious."

Nation laughed before going off into the story of the last week.

**

Nation was lying on her stomach in front of the guys on the floor with her head propped up on my hands as she listened to them practice, making sure Ryan and Brendon didn't bite each other's heads off. "I still say it should be cello, not piano," Ryan said as he looked at Brendon his arms crossed.

"Dude, none of us can play cello," Spencer said from where he sat behind his drums.

"Nation can," Ryan replied and the girl raised an eyebrow.

Brendon scuffed, "She's not even in the band."

She snapped her fingers, pointing at Brendon, "What he said."

"Well," Jon spoke, "at least three of us have to agree for her to officially be in. All in favor say I." He, Ryan and Spencer all said 'I' with giant grins on their faces. "All opposed?"

"Fuck no," Brendon snapped looking at his bandmates in shock.

"You guys do realize that I'm supposed to head back to tour with my family at the start of the year right?" Nation asked looking at the guys skeptically. "I've got photoshoots and shows. My _own_ life."

"You don't have to play live if you don't want to," Ryan said. "Just play for the album, sing some back up. Your name will be on it and everything. Pete might want you for some photoshoots but it's not like that will be the end of the world."

Nation sighed as she sat up, running a hand through her hair. "Why? God, can't I just take a fucking break already?" She mumbled to herself.

_They're just using you._

Brendon furrowed his brow as she visibly winced.

"Shut up," She said quietly, causing him to raise an eyebrow. None of the others seemed to notice. Nation sat crisscross-applesauce snapping the hair tie on her wrist as she looked at the floor, biting her lip. "Fine," She said finally. "I'll do it. But that means you guys have to have your shit together so that we can record before I leave. There will have to be at least a week or two for us to get some photoshoots in before I go if you want me there," She rambled using her hands to help get the point across.

"Wow," Brendon said somewhat impressed, "You actually know what you're doing."

She gave him a 'duh' look. "I was raised in this business dumbass."

"I know that. I just didn't know you knew so much. You know more than all of us put together. I thought you'd know your part and your part only."

She chuckled. "I get bored. Hung out with Mark for a bit, he showed he what he does. I've toured with Fall Out Boy before because I put my fist through a wall, Pete showed me what he does and Dirty showed me how backstage runs." Nation stood, heading towards the kitchen. "You may think being on stage is the only fun part but it's helping it come to life that's the best."

"Really?" Spencer asked generally interested as he put his sticks down, following after the girl. She opened the fridge and pulled out a Coca Cola.

She nodded. "You guys haven't even played a fucking gig yet. You came into this only having three songs written and are now being expected to write a whole fucking album and have it released by the end of the year. I've seen bands crash and burn, if it weren't for Pete I'd stand back and watch you crumble."

"But you won't," Jon grinned. "Thanks Pete," He said looking up as if he were speaking to Jesus.

Nation laughed, pushing her white locks out of her face, "You guys are lucky I like you. I was talking to Pete yesterday, he was surprised I haven't walked already."

"Why would you walk?" Ryan asked as he came into the Kitchen, closely followed by a silent Brendon. The lead singer leaned against the counter, crossing his arms as he listened silently, no longer making rude comments to the girl; instead, he was generally interested in what she had to say.

"Cause you guys are fucking dumbasses," They all gave her dull looks. She smiled, "But you're one hell of a band and if Brendon can get his fucking head out of his ass and you guys and write these songs in time, you're gunna make it. You just need a little push."

Brendon raised an eyebrow at this. A smirk tugged on Nation's lips, making it obvious she was up to something. "What's the push?"

"Friend of mine, Demetri Collins, owes me a favor." The guys widen at the name. He was known for buying out warn down houses and fixing them up, turning them into small studios: all work on the ground floor and shows in the basement. The man has a large family and many friends, a lot of which he ends up putting in charge of these places. A lot of bands make their starts there so it's no surprise that Nation's friends with the man himself.

"How the fuck do you even know about him? Don't people like you ignore those types of places?" Ryan asked with wide eyes.

"Are you kidding me? Record companies thrive off these places. They send out scouts all the time, looking for bands to sign, they keep track of their favorites, learn the newbies names, and occasionally sign someone. I've been to so many shows in those basements, you'd wonder how I'm not deaf," She laughed. "Anyway, Collins 67 is four hours south of here. I got us a van to get there, so don't worry. After that, we head west to 31, and then north to play 4 and 1."

Their jaws dropped and she grinned. She knew how respected Collins shows were and so did Pete. So, the moment Nation asked him to could drag the guys around the country, he said yes.

Though he didn't tell her, Pete was excited to know that Nation was getting to tour for a bit without her family. There are always memories being made on the road with your friends and it's even funnier arguing over the mattress in the back of the van.

"How long have you had this planned?" Jon asked with wide eyes.

"Two weeks. We've got to pick up the van tomorrow. We leave next week, so you guys better have enough for a forty-five minute set, because you're the stars," She smiled before heading towards her, Ryan and Brendon's bedroom. "Now, chop chop, I don't want to talk to any of you until you have two new songs written. Get to it!"

They guys looked at each other with wide eyes.

"What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?"

**

"We're living in this piece of shit for the next two weeks?" Brendon said annoyed as he helped load their equipment into the back.

"It's better than your car," Nation commented as she loaded her new electric cello into the back. "Besides, you act like no one starts out like this."

He scuffed, "You didn't."

"If you haven't yet noticed," She replied, "this is the first band I've officially been in. I'm not actually in My Chem."

"Well you sure at like it." Nation rolled her eyes in response. Jon and Ryan came out loading their instruments in as Spencer came outside with his duffle over his shoulder. He twirled one of his sticks between his fingers.

She grinned, quickly hopping into the back and collapsing onto the mattress they managed to stuff in the back. "Let's go!" She exclaimed excitedly. The guys laughed as Jon climbed into the driver's seat with Brendon shotgun. Spencer and Ryan took the passenger seats behind the two. "Alrighty, Jon, you know the drill, you can't get pulled over. I ain't got time to deal with cops."

"That's why Brendon's not driving," Ryan chuckled.

"True," He agreed. "Let's hit the road!"

**

"DON'T WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT! ONE NATION CONTROLED BY THE MEDIA! INFORMATION AGE OF HYSTERIA! IT'S CALLING OUT TO IDIOT AMERICA!" The five musicians sang the lyrics at the top of their lungs. Having forgotten all their CD's they were forced to listen to the radio, so the first time they heard Green Day, they were beyond ecstatic. The song soon finished, leaving them all laughing and smiling until the next song came on.

"Four, tres, two, uno," The song starts and they all groaned, sighing in relief when Nation's phone began to ring. Brendon quickly turned off the radio as Nation answered her phone.

"City morgue, you kill 'em, we chill 'em," She answered her phone smiling when she heard her father's laughter on the other end.

"Hey, Nation."

"Hi, Daddy," She grinned sounding like a six year old causing the guys to chuckle. "What's up?"

"Just checking in. You guys leave yet?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah, we left and like ten minutes in we realized we forgot all our CD's at the apartment so we're being forced to listen to the radio. But, Green Day came on just a minute ago so we're not dead," She spoke as she laid down, looking at the ceiling of the car. The guys whispered among themselves snickering before Brendon shouted.

"Hey, Jon, pass me a beer!"

"Nation," Spencer wined, "come back to bed."

"Brendon, pass the weed!" Ryan shouted.

"FUCK!" Brendon shouted. "WE FORGOT THE FUCKING WEED MAN!"

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Ryan screamed as Jon quickly pulled over on the side of the road, thanking god that there wasn't anybody on the interstate at the moment, perks of it being four am. He turned around in his seat, wide eyed.

"GEORGE RYAN ROSS THE THIRD HOW COULD YOU!?"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT SPENCER WAS THE LAST ONE OUT THE DOOR!"

"WILL ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!?" Nation screamed causing them to silence. She let out a huff, "Thank you," She said before bringing her phone back to her ear, "Hey, Dad, know where you can get weed in VA?"

"You're heading straight to 67 right?"

"Yup."

"Look for Rashawn," He replied. She nodded. She looked up to see all the guys looking at her crazy.

"What?"

"Why does your Dad know where to get weed in Virginia? And why do you ask if as if it's nothing?" Ryan asked confused.

She laughed bring the phone to her ear again. "You hear that?"

"Yeah," he laughed.

She looked back up at the guys. "it's weed man, if I was asking where the fuck to get heroine then he'd be pissed."

"Alright, its official, Gerard Way is the coolest fucking dad in the world," Jon laughed as he pulled back out onto the road.

"That is very true," Gerard spoke causing Nation to laugh.

"You wish."

"Eh," He said and Nation could imagine him shrugging his shoulders. "You could have worse."

"Yeah, I could be like Jon and have no Dad," She shrugged.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT I WAS RAISED BY LESBIANS!"


	7. Chapter 7

_**Three Months Later** _

"Holy fuck," Nation sighed as she collapsed on her mattress. "I don't think I've ever missed my bed so much."

"Agreed," Brendon spoke as he collapsed onto his bed. Ryan let out a sigh of relief as he face planted onto his own.

"Me three."

Nation turned her head to look at the guys. "What are we doing for food? The fringe is empty."

"I thought there was-" Ryan said.

Brendon and Nation interrupted him. "Spencer."

"Oh. I'll go order a pizza then," Ryan groaned as he got up and left the room.

Brendon let out a sigh, rolling onto his side to face Nation. She raised an eyebrow as she wondered if this was going to be a civil conversation.

"How do you get used to it?" Brendon asked. He had a sort of far off look in his brown eyes. They seemed to gleam with wonder and joy.

Nation gave him a small smile before looking up at the white ceiling. "You don't."

"Oh."

"It's great, isn't it though? Playing live," She continued.

"Yeah," he breathed. "I never want to give this up."

"Neither do I. But, isn't it terrifying? I always have some fear that I'm going to mess up, hit the wrong note or forget a whole song in general. But, I don't know why. I don't know how I could forget any of this," Nation spoke. Her voice was far off as if she was thinking of something else.

Brendon replied in the same tone. "You couldn't."

"I'd have to get hit by a bus for that to happen," She chuckled.

"That'd be shit," Brendon laughed with her. The fifteen year old turned onto her side to face the boy. She smiled brightly as he returned the same look.

"I have a question," She said her smile slowly disappearing and becoming one of curiosity. He nodded for her to continue. "Why are you so rude to me?"

He rolls over onto his back, facing the ceiling. "I don't know. Why's your face so annoying?"

She rolls her eyes, "That's like asking how people believe in bullshit like religion."

"Eh, could be worse then."

"Huh?"

"I could be religious," He chuckled causing Nation to roll her eyes as she smirked. He took a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, though. It's just, I can't explain it."

"God, please tell me this is a cover up for how gay you and Ryan are for each other because that'd be great," Nation said excitedly.

"I'm not gay," Brendon said turning his head to look at her, his voice flat. The girl could hear Ryan shout the same words from across the apartment. She giggled. "But, I will suck a dick."

"Relatable."

"So what are you?" Brendon asked curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he said as he sat up in his bed, leaning against the wall, "sexuality wise. I'm bisexual."

"You could say I'm bi. I mean, I'll suck a dick but I'd totally eat a girl out."

Brendon chuckled. "You can say that but you can't sing Lying's the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes off? Really?"

She laughed, shaking her head as she sat up as well. "There's a fine line between speaking and singing a song. I mean, Ryan can't speak worth a shit but he can write like an angel. Kind of like Uncle Pete actually."

Brendon snorted. "Uncle Pete? Really?"

"What? He's dating Mikey. It wouldn't surprise me if this time next year they're married. Same goes for my dad and Frankie," She rambled causing Brendon to chuckle.

"Who all in your family is straight damn it?!"

"Uh, no one," She said brow furrowed in thought. "I mean, Dad's pan, mom was a lesbian – don't even ask why I exist – Mikey's really fucking gay, I'm bi and then there are my grandparents. I think they're both straight. I don't know, Nanna went on a twenty minute rant about Demi Lovato's ass once so I don't know."

Brendon snorted trying to hold back his laughter, before finally bursting out. He clutched his sides as he closed his eyes, rolling around on his bed as he laughed.

"I'm not even kidding! Like she wouldn't let Dad and I leave the room. She told us to sit back down! I was mentally scarred for months! Dad didn't even know what to do!"

"That's priceless," Brendon wheezed. Our laughter died out as the doorbell rang. We silenced both looking towards the bedroom door in hopes of it being the pizza guy.

"PIZZA'S HERE!"

Brendon and I looked at each other before quickly taking off towards the door in hopes of beating the other to the kitchen.

**

The five of them all sat on Ryan and Nation's beds, crowded around her laptop watching Youtube.

"Who the fuck is AmazingPhil?" Brendon asked through a mouth full of food as he scrolled through Nation's subscriptions.

"He's so British," Ryan chuckled and Nation shushed him before continuing to eat her pizza whilst watching one of the Youtubers videos. She frowned when she suddenly had an incoming video call on skype. "Who the fuck is Danus?"

She pressed the talk button excitedly, grinning ear to ear as the Brit's familiar face popped up onto the screen. "DAN!" She shouted.

"NATION!" Dan shouted back grinning as he laughed. "My tickets just came in the mail for July," He said excitedly as he held up the tickets and backstage passes for the My Chemical Romance show. "I can't wait to see you."

"What the fuck is with all the Brits?" Ryan asked.

"Who's th- holy fuck you're Panic! At the Disco," Dan said shocked. "Fuck I forgot about that. Damn it, Nation Michelle Helena Way how dare you?"

Nation pouted, "What'd I do _now_?"

"You joined a band without me, you spork," he said crossing his arms. "I learned drums and everything, like fuck you."

_Forgetful, idiot._

_"Shut up!"_

Nation chuckled at her friend. "Oh my god, Dan, I thought you were joking."

"Not at all," he said as he adjusted the view of his camera to show the rest of his room, revealing his cheap drum kit. "It took forever to sucker John into giving that to me."

"I did what now?" Jon said confused.

"Not you," Brendon said as he playfully shoved him.

"Gunna introduce me?" Dan asked.

"Oh yeah. Dan, this is Brendon, Jon, Spencer and Ryan. Guys this is Dan." All the guys waved hello, smiling.

"Hello. Shit, Nation you got pizza without me?"

Nation rolled her eyes. "Dan, I _always_ get pizza without you. It's kind of hard not to."

"True."

" _And_ you did get Chinese without me last week, so this is basically payback. Anywho, what's up, Danny Boy?" Nation asked as she shifted so she was sitting crisscross-applesauce.

"Bored. Wondering what you were doing, screaming over free concert tickets. So, you know the usual," Dan shrugged as he picked up a bowl off the desk and began eating ice cream. This, however, did not faze Nation. She was used to his constant snacking.

"Sounds fun," Brendon nodded.

"Very."

"Shit," Jon swore, "American Dad started five minutes ago." He quickly stood up and ran out of the room followed after an eager Spencer and Ryan.

"They do know it's Sunday right?" Nation asked.

Brendon shrugged. "Probably wanted out, that or they want the rest of the pizza for themselves. Which reminds me," Brendon said as he stood up.

"Grab me another piece," She said handing him her paper plate.

"Kay."

Nation watched Brendon as he left before letting her hazel eyes return to the screen.

"You like him," Dan said flatly. She scrunched up her nose and furrowed her brow as she gave him a 'what the fuck' look.

"Why the fuck would I like _him?_ He's a dick. He has done nothing but been rude to me since I got here," She crossed her arms over her chest.

Dan scoffed. "Nation, he's fucking gorgeous. If you don't fuck him, I will."

Nation nearly choked on her pizza. "What?"

Brendon chose this moment to enter the room, holding both their slices of pizza.

Dan turned around as his mother called him. "Fuck, Got to go, Nation. Mum's calling me. Bye, Brendon!"

"Bye, Dan," Brendon smiled as he sat down next to Nation on her bed. They both were leant against the wall and Nation had pulled her laptop onto her thighs after the rest of the guys had left the room.

"Bye looser," Nation waved.

"Bye, Spork," The Brit replied before ending the call.

"Spork?"

"Dan, has an... interesting vocabulary." Nation replied slowly. Brendon nodded. "I haven't checked Tumblr in a while what the fuck is wrong with me," Nation said randomly before she went to her desktop, clicking on the icon.

She began to scroll as Brendon looked at the screen with his brow furrowed.

"What the hell is tentacle porn?"

Nation froze as she saw the link pop up into her dash. "You don't want to fucking know," She said before quickly scrolling past. She stopped when she saw the cover of a magazine show up. She grinned and nudged Brendon as she looked at the picture of her and the boy. They were sharing a mic as they sang, looking into each other's hazel eyes with grins plastered across their faces.

Brendon smiled. "That was so fun. I can't wait for more of that."

"Neither can I."

**

Panic! At the Disco all sat around the small table in the kitchen with cards in their hands and M&M's on the table. They were all broke as fuck – with the exception of Nation – but wanted to play poker. So, they substituted the cash for chocolate. The guys were grateful for Nation's love for chocolate.

"Nation, how the hell did you get so good at poker?" Spencer asked as she laid down yet another full house before taking the chocolate from the center of the table.

She chuckled. "Someone had to help Mikey win." The guys chuckled right before Ryan's phone went off. He rolled his eyes before fishing it out of his pocket. He looked at the Id before answering.

"Hey, Pete." Everyone at the table sat up a bit at his name. "Uh yeah. We've got everything written. But, we may have done something... Well it was either the best idea I've ever had or the stupidest thing I've ever done. There is no in between.... Well, we may have, sort of, maybe, added Nation as an official member."

Everyone was silent as they waited for a response. Ryan bit his lip before pulling his phone away from his ear, cringing at the noise.

"THAT'S THE BEST THING YOU'VE EVER FUCKING DONE!"

Nation grinned ear to ear as did everyone else. Brendon sat back in his chair, trying to look annoyed but Nation noticed the smirk on his lips. Maybe their little conversation a few nights before had changed something.

"Brilliant, the slut stays," Brendon said. Nation's smile vanished for a spilt second before she rolled her eyes and looked towards Ryan, who was still on their phone with her 'uncle.'

"Tomorrow? We've gotta fly tomorrow? Oh fuck," Ryan said before pulling the phone away from his ear, "Guys, pack your bags. Pete's emailing us tickets for a flight to LA tomorrow. We've got to record." He held back up the phone. "Yeah. Got it... said end of December."

Nation raised an eyebrow, immediately knowing they were talking about her.

"We thought that through... yeah, we know. She said the same thing... Right. See you tomorrow." Ryan hung up the phone and stood to his feet. He grabbed his winnings and stuffed them into his mouth as he walked towards his shared bedroom.

"When do we leave?" Nation asked as she grabbed a small bowl out of cupboard. She poured her winnings into as she followed after the taller boy into their room.

He picked up his laptop, opening it and clicking on his email. He waited a second whilst it loaded. Ryan then clicked the resent email from Pete.

"Holy fuck," Nation said as she shot up and went towards the closet. She pulled it open and pulled out her suitcase, already throwing cloths into it. "We gotta be there in three hours! Who the fuck does he think he is?! Hey guys!"

Brendon entered the room as Spencer and Jon poked their heads in at the sound of Nation's voice. Brendon noticed her packing and raised an eyebrow.

"We gotta be at the airport in three hours. Hurry up and pack," She told them. Spencer and Jon nodded before going off to their room. Brendon went over to his bed and collapsed, using his eyes to block the light from his chocolate orbs. Ryan got up and grabbed his small suitcase out from the closet as well. "What are you doing?" Nation asked Brendon.

"Taking a nap, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"When I say I we have to be there in three hours, I mean it's an hour and a half drive, we have to be there on time to get the flight. Not to mention one of us needs to call a fucking cab to take us," Nation said glaring at the boy before grabbing one of her blankets and putting it in her bag.

"I'm calling one now!" Jon called from his room. Nation sighed in relief. She left the room and grabbed what she needed out of the bathroom before returning to the bedroom and stuffing it into her bag. She closed the case before zipping it up.

"How the hell did you pack so fast?" Ryan asked looked at his mostly empty bag.

She shrugged. "I sometimes forget that we have to leave for tour so I've learned to pack quickly and efficiently. I've got a blanket, three different outfits, pajamas, make up, shampoo, girl things, two books, laptop, and my DS. I'll carry my ipod and phone in my pockets and make sure to wear my hoodie so that I don't freeze on the plane. Oh," She said as she picked up Albert. "Can't forget, Albert."

"You named the fucking toy?" Brendon said with his nose scrunched up as he uncovered his eyes.

"Yeah, so? I live in a world where I've had to act like a fucking adult sense I was ten, I'm allowed to have a few childish traditions," She snapped at him as she pulled on her hoodie. "You know, for a spilt second I thought you had opened your fucking eyes, but clearly I forgot you're still a fucking dick."

**

Nation swallowed hard and clutched Albert closer to her chest. She bit her lip and pushed her white locked out of her face as she tapped her foot nervously.

Ryan noticed her uneasiness and placed a hand on her thigh to keep her from shaking. She stopped and quickly looked up at Ryan on her right. She glanced between him and his hand. He cleared his throat as he quickly moved it back to his lap.

"Oh, uh, sorry. But, uh, are you okay? You seem nervous," Ryan said worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm good. Don't worry about me," She said as she shook her nodded her head.

"Oh, okay."

Brendon rolled his eyes. "She's scared of planes, dumbass."

Spencer and Jon both groaned. "Here we go again.

"Well you don't have to tell everyone," Nation shot him a glare.

"Yeah. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it," Ryan said to his friend.

Nation now glared at Ryan. "Don't defend me. I've got my own comebacks, thank you."

"Flight 248, now boarding," A voice came over the overhead speakers.

Spencer and Jon quickly stood up. "Oh look at that," Spencer said, "our flight's boarding. Come on, Nation. I think we're sitting next to each other." He spoke quickly as he took Nation by the hand and leaded her away from the other guys. They were quite a distance away from the others, Spencer looked down at her and sighing. "Is this our lives now?"

"What?"

"You three: best friends one second and ripping each other's heads off the next. I thought Ryan and Brendon were bad but add you to the mix and suddenly hell has frozen over," He rambled as they walked towards their gate.

"I'm sorry," She replied and let her eyes travel to the floor, allowing Spencer to guide her.

_See. You just make things worse._

She flinched before shaking her head.

"Don't apologize. Ryan and Brendon have always had their differences. I've never quite understood their friendship. You have to learn to go with the flow with them two. But, Brendon is an ass and I know you already knew that. I don't think he's given up yet because he wants to see how far he can get before you punch him. He's not used to having someone fight back. I think he's finds it intriguing. So, don't blame yourself. Brendon's just a dumbass."

Nation shook her head. "If he doesn't want me here, I should go, to be honest. My family will be in LA in a day or two and they're taking a few days break and come and see me. I could just leave with them."

"Don't you dare go. Nation, you're such an amazing person, once Brendon gets it through his head that he shouldn't be an such an asshole, he'll probably ask you out on the spot. And I guarantee that  you'll say yes," Spencer said to her. Nation's head snapped up as she gave him a confused look.

"Spencer, do I look like I'd date him? I've got plenty of other shit to do besides throw myself at some boy," She rolled her eyes at his stupidity.

"Never said it'd be you's the one throwing themself at someone," Spencer replied with a smirk. Nation looked up with a furrowed brow before realization dawned on her.

"Well, good for him then. He can throw himself at me all he wants, that doesn't mean I'll catch him."

Spencer sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm being an ass," She mumbled. She rested her head on his shoulder as he pulled her into a side hug. "Let's just hope recording goes quick. I can be in and out in a matter of a couple hours if I wanted to be."

"But, you won't."

She smiled softly. "It's always fun to finally finish bringing an album to life. Just think of it, in a few months, the album will be released and then Pete will probably bring you all on tour with him."

Spencer grinned. "I can't wait. You're gunna come with us after the My Chem tour is over right?"

"Maybe. It depends how everything goes. We get a three week break in May and then we leave for the Europe tour in June. After that we've got a couple shows in Australia and then we'll travel back up north for our shows in Asia. Once all that stuffs done, we head back to the US for one last sweep of the states before we're finally done at the end of 2009," Nation explained.

"Wow. That's a while."

Nation nodded. "Wait 'til that's you."

**

Nation sighed in relief as the flight attendant announced they would be landing soon. The entire flight she had been holding onto Spencer's hand with a death grip. Not that he minded though. Albert was clutched to her chest as she rested her head atop of his.

"Do you know who's picking us up?" Spencer asked her calmly, trying to get her mind off things.

She shook her head as she took a deep breath. "Pete said he was sending someone. Apparently, I'll recognize him."

**

Nation led the group through the airport, having been there on many occasions. Her luggage trailed behind her as she made her way towards Starbucks. The guys followed after, trusting her direction. The guys rolled their eyes but followed after as she entered the coffee shop.

She went up to the counter and silently thanked the coffee gods for no line.

"Hey, welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you?" The barista asked kindly.

"Can I get a Carmel Macchiato and a blue berry muffin please?" Nation ordered politely.

"Sure thing. Can I get a name for your order?"

"Michelle," She replied as she handed over her card to pay.

Nation stood off to the side as she waited for her coffee. The guys came in and waited with her.

"Michelle?" Brendon asked with a raised eyebrow.

Nation rolled her eyes. "How many people do you know named Nation?"

The boy shrugged as she was handed her coffee. She thanked the girl and took a sip as she walked out of the café. Nation's phone buzzed in her pocket and pulled it out to see her father's ID.

She answered it as she put the phone up to her ear. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey, sweetie. Where are you?"

"Uh, just walked out of Starbucks. Why?"

"Look to your right."

With her brow furrowed, she looked towards her right, her eyes scanning the crowd. Her eyes locked onto two men, both dressed in dark skinny jeans and hoodies, their hoods pulled over their heads. They smiled and waved as one man pocketed something, just as the line went dead.

"Holy fuck," Nation said wide eyed.

"What?" Ryan said confused. Nation quickly handed him her coffee and Spencer her bag before she took off at a full sprint towards the men.

Brendon watched after in his confusion, "What the fuck is going on?"

Nation slammed into the short man, wrapping her arms around him as he did the same, spinning her around in a circle as they hugged tightly. She inhaled the familiar sent of coffee, pastels, and cigarettes.

"I missed you so much," She said into his shoulder as he set her back on the ground, still hugging.

"I missed you too," he replied, resting his head on top of hers.

The two pulled away and smiled at each other. The same hazel eyes looked into each other for the first time in two months.

"Hi, Dad," Nation grinned ear to ear.

"Hey, Nation," He grinned before frowning. She tilted her head to the side in confusion before rolling her eyes as he started to mess with her hair. She swatted his hands away. "It's a mess," He told her before going back to fixing it. She pushed his hands out of the way.

"And I don't care," She laughed. She turned her head to the right and grinned up at her uncle. "Uncle Mikey!" She wrapped her arms around the man's torso.

"Hey, Little Mikey!" Mikey exclaimed excited as he hugged his niece.

"Look at the happy family," Brendon smirked sarcastically as he and the guys came over. Ryan handed Nation her coffee and her eyes widen for a moment before she took a gulp. Gerard seemed to get excited and stole the hot beverage from her, taking a sip. Nation glared at her father before taking it back and looking towards Brendon who had her eyes on her still.

"Hey," Gerard smiled towards the guys. "I'm Gerard, this is Mikey. Who's who?"

"I'm Brendon," Brendon smiled as he casually through his arm over Nation's shoulder. Nation stiffened for a moment before relaxing. Gerard glanced between his daughter and Brendon.

"I'm Ryan, this is Spence and Jon."

Spencer came over and put Nation's bag in front of her. "You can carry your own shit," he said pointedly.

"Oh, fuck, sorry, Spence," She quickly apologized. She went to grab it but Gerard took it before she could and began walking away.

Mikey looked after with his brother before shaking his head. "Whatever, come on. The bus is outside."

"You came on the bus?" Nation said confused as they all followed after Gerard.

"This was on the way to our hotel."

"Ah."

**

"Woah," Ryan marveled as they approached the bus.

"Ryan," Nation spoke, "It's a bus, chill."

"Oh let him live," Jon said in awe as well. She rolled her eyes as she shook her head. Gerard entered the bus with Mikey close on his tail. Nation quickly followed after and smiled when she discovered Ray and Frank playing Guitar Hero on the PS2.

"Sup, bitches," Nation said as she collapsed on the couch between the two. They both looked towards her and a second later she was engulfed in hugs. "Cant. Breathe."

The two guitarists pulled away and laughed.

"Hey, midget," Frank laughed.

"I'll fight you," Nation threatened.

"She'd win," Everyone replied before laughing. The bus began moving a few seconds later.

"Alright, we're heading to the hotel," Mikey said. "You guys are supposed to be on the same floor as us," Mikey told the guys. "Nation, you're rooming with your Dad. Recording starts tomorrow for you guys. Pete said he'll call Ryan."

"How long until we get to the hotel?" Spencer asked.

"Two days," Frank grinned up at them.

"What?" Brendon said confused.

Nation shrugged. "There are empty bunks in the back," She told the guys as she got up and picked up her bag, heading towards the bunks. "I swear to god, if there is shit in my bunk it's getting tossed out the window."

Frank quickly bolted up and past the teenager.

"Figured," She chuckled.

**

Nation sat on the couch with her earbuds in as she drew in the moonlight. Everyone else was asleep and she couldn't help but remember about one of the last times this had happened. It was before she knew Panic! or Tyler and Josh and she was being haunted by her past. But now, the only thing keeping her from falling asleep is the thought of the years ahead.

"Can't sleep either?" A muffled voice said. She looked up to see Ryan and took out her earbuds as she quickly shut her sketchbook. "I already saw it. Care to explain why you're sketching the guy you hate most in the world?" He asked as he collapsed onto the couch next her.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she sighed as she leaned into his side. She opened her sketchbook to reveal the drawing of Brendon and frowned before picking up her pencil and continuing to sketch. "I don't hate him."

"Then what would you call your relationship with him?"

"Mutual distaste."

Ryan chuckled. "That doesn't explain why you're drawing him at three a.m."

"I can't sleep and he has a nice bone structure. Plus, I already drew you, Jon, and Spence a few days ago," She explained as she flipped back to the other pages. His eyes scanned the pages as he smiled.

"They're really good."

"They could be better."

"Nation, everything can be better. You did your best and that's all that will ever matter to anyone," Ryan told the girl.

She shook her head. "There's al-"

"Of course there's always going to be someone. The world is full of dick heads."

"Yeah, well one of them is your best friend." She said coolly as she closed her sketch book closed and stood up. "I'm going to bed," she declared before storming off towards the bunks. Ryan sighed as he watched her go before putting his head in his hands.

"What the hell have I gotten us into?"


	8. Chapter 8

**"Ryan, it'd be greatly appreciated if you'd stay in the right key,"** Brendon said to Ryan through the speaker as they recorded. They had come in early that morning and said hello to Pete who showed them their studio before disappearing, trusting Nation. The girl wondered why he would; especially since he knew she has no sense of balance. If the guys don't notice, they could end up not stopping for food or drink until one of them passes out from dehydration.

Nation sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. Her roots were now showing but she didn't mind, liking the contrast between the black and white. She was tired and stressed. They had woken up at six am to come straight here and the hotel they were staying at had run out of coffee before they had even awakened.

"Brendon," Jon said, "Shut up, he's on key."

"No, he's not, Nation, tell him."

The girl scuffed. "Brendon, don't come crawling to me for support. You had me do ten different versions of this earlier. Besides, the boy's in tune. You're just deaf."

Brendon glared at Nation before sitting back in his chair. "Fine. Leave it like that. I don't care."

Spencer rolled his eyes. "You want it an octave lower, don't you?"

"Maybe."

"Well," Ryan said as he came out of the recording booth. "That's as low as I can go, so if you want to do it by all means, go ahead."

"Oh my god," Nation spoke, exasperated as she stood to her feet. "I'll do it."

"You legit don't have the balls for it," Brendon laughed as she entered the booth. She pulled on the headphones and nodded for him to press record. He rolled his eyes but did it anyway.

"Lalalala," She began and the guys eyebrows shot up. She counted before continuing, "lalala."

Brendon quickly stopped her as he stood, "Alright. Scrap everything I just did."

"What, why?" Spencer asked confused.

Ryan grinned. "Cause this would sound better with her singing the whole thing with him."

Jon and Spencer glanced at each other with raised eyebrows before shaking their heads. Brendon entered the recording booth as Nation raised her eyebrows.

"What's going on now?"

"We're singing this together," he explained as he pulled out the lyrics from his back pocket and started to explain how they were doing this. She nodded and pointed towards the paper as she suggested something else.

"So, how do we know they aren't about to rip each other's throats out?" Spencer asked as they watched the two communicate through the window, not knowing what they were saying since Nation had unhooked the mic she had been using and went towards the back of the recording studio and pulled out another. They still wondered how there was enough room in her head to remember all these things about music. They didn't even need a sound technician present because of her.

"Dude, look at how Brendon's looking at her," Spencer points out, his eyes squinted.

"Ah fuck," Ryan mumbled. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If you're thinking about tacos then yes," Jon replied. Ryan rolled his eyes.

Spencer knocked Jon aside the head. "No, you idiot. He likes her."

"Ooooooooh.... that's good isn't it?" Jon asked.

"No, you dumbass," Ryan says.

"Uh, why?"

"Cause the last time he looked at someone like that was Madeline and we never saw him when she was around," Spencer commented.

Jon shrugged. "Let the guy live. If he likes her, he likes her. Who the hell cares?"

Ryan furrowed his brow at him. "I don't know if you noticed. But, she mostly hates him."

"Actually no," Spencer cut in as he stood up and walked towards the sound board. Brendon had nodded for him to press record. "She described their relationship as a mutual distaste for each other."

Brendon began to sing. "It's these substandard motels on the lalalalala corner of 4th and Fremont Street. Appealing only 'cause they are just that un-appealing any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering."

Nation came in grinning as she did so, her eyes locked onto Brendon. "The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde, And the habit of decomposing right before your very lalalala eyes," She decomposed as she sang the last line causing him to smile. He hadn't mentioned that part to her.

The two harmonized with each at the chorus, having agreed to do that through the whole of the song. "Along with the people inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy."

Brendon went off on his own. "Tonight tenants range from: a lawyer and a virgin. Accessorizing with a rosary tucked inside her lingerie"

Nation came back in as they sang the lyrics together.

"She's getting a job at the firm come Monday.  
The Mrs. will stay with the cheating attorney  
moonlighting aside, she really needs his money.  
Oh, wonderful caricature of intimacy.

Yeah (Yeah)

And not to mention, the constable, and his proposition, for that "virgin"  
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"  
as he said to the Mrs. Well, only hours before,  
after he had left, she was fixing her face in a compact.  
There was a terrible crash  
There was a terrible crash between her and the badge  
She spilled her purse and her bag, and held a "purse" of a different kind.

Along with the people inside  
What a wonderful caricature of intimacy  
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy"

For the next verse, Brendon sang the first two verses before Nation came in for the final two.

"There are no raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses.  
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses  
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains  
And a few more of your least favorite things.

Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses  
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses  
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains  
And a few more of your least favorite things.

Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy  
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses  
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses  
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains  
And a few more of your least favorite things.

Raindrops on roses and the girls in white dresses  
And sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses  
At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains  
And a few more of your least favorite things."

"That was the best fucking thing I've ever listened to," Jon said in awe. Nation giggled as she took off her head phones and exited the sound booth, closely followed by Brendon. "Nation, your voice is so great."

The girl turned bright red, her eyes going to the floor as she smiled. "Thanks, Jon."

"Can we get tacos now?"

Brendon and Nation exchanged confused looks as the rest of the guys chuckled.

"Sounds good to me," Ryan laughed. "Spencer's paying though. Eleven o' clock Taco Bell can end bad."

Nation crinkled her nose in disgust at the sound of the fast food restaurant. She had nothing against the place, it just wasn't her favorite.

Brendon was smiling until he noticed the look on her face. "Oh, shit, I almost forgot you're a vegetarian."

"No, it's not that. I just don't like Taco Bell. Besides, there's always work to be done around this place. You guys ago head, I'll hang back," She said as she sat down in a chair behind the sound board.

"Later," Jon said as he picked up his jacket and headed towards the door with Ryan and Spencer on his tail. Brendon pulled up a chair next to Nation.

"What are you doing? Go eat," She told him.

"I'll order us a pizza," He told her. "I'm assuming you want to blend the some of the tracks, harmonize some stuff."

She nodded. "I was gunna blend it all and then use a key board to try and figure out something nice."

"Don't worry about it."

She smirked. "You already know what you want don't you."

He smiled. "Maybe."

Ryan came back into the room a second later. "You coming, Bren?"

Brendon shook his head. "I'm gunna hang back with Nation. We'll see you at the hotel." He nodded glancing towards Nation before disappearing down the hall.

The teenagers instantly got to work. Nation did most of the work with the board whilst also teaching Brendon how to use it. She sent him into the recording both at around midnight and he began recording all of the harmonies as she smiled to show when she approved and telling him off when he came in flat once in a while.

"What time is it?" Brendon asked suddenly as they finished putting together the last song they could without the guys. There were still three songs that needed the instrumentals recorded.

"Uh, like four am," Nation said before picking up a slice of cold pizza. "Should we just crash here and wait for them to come tomorrow or call a cab?"

"Where the hell are we going to sleep?" Brendon asked with his brow furrowed.

Nation rolled her eyes as she picked up her phone and charger whilst heading towards the door. "Pete's office duh. The man put a couch in there after he and the guys started crashing here. Come on, he keeps it unlocked cause he's shit at keeping track of keys. If we're lucky there's candy stashed somewhere ," She wiggled her eyebrows excited with a giggle as Brendon stood up with a laugh.

They left the recording room and turned down the hall towards the front of the building. They quickly made their way up the stairs and walked until they reached a door that had 'Pete Wentz – Fall Out Boy' written on it with what appears to be eyeliner. Brendon raised an eyebrow as Nation just shrugged.

"It's Pete. I just roll with it." She pushed open the room to reveal an average sized office. His desk was in the corner of the room, papers all over it with more crumbled up on the floor. On the wall to the right was a mini fridge and on the left a couch large enough for someone to sleep on. The walls had framed posters and photos of Fall Out Boy through the past few years.

Nation went over to Pete's desk, sitting behind it to gain access to a power outlet where she plugged in her phone. She then went over to the couch and kicked off her shoes. She reached behind the couch to pull out a blanket and pillow that she knew Pete kept hidden behind there.

"How do you know that's there?" Brendon asked as he kicked off his shoes and tossed them in the corner by Nation's combat boots. He pulled off his shirt, tossing it on top of them as Nation glanced up before rolling her eyes at the sight. She never understood guys' need to randomly take their shirts off.

"I told you I toured with Fall Out Boy right?" He nodded. "Well, we took a couple days break and the guys came in to record a song they had written while on the road and they stayed overnight because they all had some sudden inspiration or whatever and it was like three am. Patrick realized that I should probably go to sleep so Pete had me crash up here."

"Nice story," Brendon chuckled. "So, do you want me to just sleep on the floor or?"

"No you idiot, we can share." He shrugged and turned off the lights. Brendon went and laid down with Nation doing the same. Nation was on the edge of the couch, her back pressed against Brendon's chest with the blanket pulled over the two of them. Brendon wiggled for a moment, trying to make himself comfortable. He moved his arm so it was gently draped over Nation. She stiffened for a brief moment before relaxing.

"You don't mind do you," he asked quickly.

"No. It's cold anyway," She spoke quickly, glad that the lights were off to hide her blushing face.

The two fell asleep, secretly enjoying being in each other's arms.

**

Pete entered his office, flipping on the lights. His brow furrowed at the sight of the two teenagers asleep on his couch. He shook his head, deciding to allow the two to sleep. It was only two p.m. and Pete expected that the rest of Panic! wouldn't be coming in for another hour or two. He knew Nation's habit of wanting to get work done; thinking sleep was not a priority.

Pete sat down at his desk and noticed Nation's phone sitting there, plugged into its charger, flashing blue, indicating she'd received several text messages. He picked up noticing worried texts from Ryan. Pete grabbed his own phone sending the boy a quick text informing him of Nation and Brendon's whereabouts.

"Wha-what-who-oh," Pete looked up at the sound of Brendon waking up. His hair was mess and his eyes were locked onto the girl in his arms. Nation was still curled up in his arms, fast asleep with her head rested on his bare chest. Brendon relaxed back into the couch, putting his free arm behind his head. His brow furrowed as he realized the lights were on. "Wait, what the fuck?"

Brendon looked up to see Pete grinning at him, silently laughing as to not wake Nation.

"Hey, Brendon. Enjoying yourself?"

"I-I swear it's not what it looks like. I-I w-would never. I swear," Brendon quickly rambled, wanting to get rid of any thoughts Pete had about he and Nation.

Pete chuckled. "I know, Brendon chill," he said in a hushed voice. "And keep it down; you definitely shouldn't wake her up."

Brendon smiled before replying in a whisper, "Ain't that the truth... I'm stuck here until she wakes up aren't I?"

Pete just smiled.

The next hour was spent in silence. Pete was working on something on his computer as Brendon stared at the ceiling, enjoying Nation being in his arms.

She stirred letting out a yawn as her eyes flickered open. They settled on Brendon before she gave him a soft smile to which he returned. "Good morning," She said her voice raspy from sleep.

"Good afternoon to you, too," Pete said causing Nation to turn red. She hid her face in Brendon's chest causing the man to laugh. "Don't worry, Nation. I think the guys are gunna be here in like an hour," He said as Nation sat up on the couch. Pete opened up a drawer of his desk, pulling out two of the shirts he keeps for whenever he crashed here. He tossed a Fall Out Boy one to Nation before throwing a Killers shirt at Brendon.

"Thanks," Nation said before pulling off her shirt and slipping on the other one. Brendon's eyes locked onto her as she did so and Pete shot daggers at the boy. Brendon felt the eyes of the bassists and gave him a nervous smile before pulling the Killers shirt over his head.

"I think there's doughnuts and coffee downstairs," Pete told the two.

"Coffee?"

"Doughnuts?"

The two quickly slipped on their shoes and ran out of Pete's office towards the stairs. They raced down in an attempt to beat the other laughing as they did so. Ryan, Jon, and Spencer walked into the building just as the two reached the front. Ryan was holding a box of doughnuts and Spencer had a coffee ready for Nation.

Nation came up and took the coffee from Spencer's hand before taking a sup. She smiled in content as Brendon took the doughnuts from Ryan and kept walking towards the recording studio.

"Hold up, I want some too!" Nation cried out as she hurried after them. Brendon glanced behind his shoulder at her with a smirk.

"Catch me if you can!" He took off running and Nation hurried after him, doing her best as to not spill her hot beverage all over herself.

The three guys followed after them at a slower pace, obviously confused.

"What the fuck happened to get them to act so... _nice_ to each other. It's like they're actually friends," Ryan said confused.

Spencer and Jon shrugged. "Who cares?"

"Uh, me."

"Why?" Spencer asked him. "Shouldn't we be glad they're getting along so well?"

"I don't know," Ryan shook his head. "It's just weird."

**

"We're done," Ryan grinned ear to ear. "We've done it. We're actually done."

The five band members sat in a circle on the floor staring at the CD in the middle of the floor. No one had yet to hear it besides themselves.

"Now what?" Jon asked with a blank expression, his brown eyes locked on the disk. The four guys looked towards Nation, her hazel eyes still on the disk. She looked up when she felt their stares.

She raised an eyebrow. "Do I _look_ like I know?"

"What happened to knowing this industry inside and out?" Brendon asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, this was never my problem." She looked back at the disk before an idea struck her. "Wait, let's pull a fast one," Nation grabbed the disk and ran out of the recording room, almost tripping over her sweatpants due to them being several sizes too large. She stole them from her father before she left.

The guys quickly got up and ran after her. They were all wearing the same basic attire: sweat pants and old t-shirts.

Nation rushed down the hall towards the front desk and grinned when she saw no one was there. Whenever she was here, she'd always wait until someone wasn't looking to put in one of her CD's playing her album of choice instead of one of Pete's.

The guys watched as she fidgeted with the technology before grabbing the case of Dookie by Green Day and placing the disk back into its case. She replaced it with Panic!'s new album, grinning ear to ear as she pressed play, turning up the volume as the Introduction began to play.

Nation turned around in the spinning office chair, looking up at Pete's off with hope in her eyes. She knew that Fall Out Boy had a three week break and being that he was here just a few days before, she was certain he would be here until he ran out of clean clothes.

Pete exited his office just after 'The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage' came on. Brendon and Nation's voices couldn't harmonize any better. Pete leaned over the railing and looked down at them, shouting over the music.

"THIS IS THE BEST SHIT I'VE EVER HEARD! I KNEW NATION JOINING WOULD BE GREAT!"

The guys all cheered at this as Brendon came around and lifted Nation out of the chair before pulling her into a tight hug. Everyone else in the building began to leave their offices, curious as to what they were listening to. They soon realized it was their album when they noticed the five dancing around and singing along to their own music.

**

Ryan and Brendon both stood in front of the mirror in the small dressing room messing with their hair whilst Nation stood between them, touching up her eyeliner. Jon and Spencer both sat on a couch behind them with raised eyebrows as they watched the three.

Nation adjusted her new veil in the mirror. It was similar to her black parade uniform, only instead of a black rose, there was a small top hat, with a red exclamation point on it. She then adjusted her new shirt. Well, it wasn't exactly new. It was an old grey t-shirt that she had written on with sharpie. But, she was proud to know that the band name on her shirt represented her and her friends.

"Hey, Nation," Ryan spoke up glancing at the girl. "I heard the singers from that band are pretty shit."

"Hey, Ryan," Nation said as she looked at Ryan with mischief in her eyes, "I heard the lead guitarists from this band looks like shit."

Jon and Spencer snickered from behind them.

"Well, _I_ heard that the bassist and drummer are jackasses who eat people's cereal," Brendon chimed in. The three laughed at the annoyed faces of the two instrumentalists.

There was a quick knock on the door before a woman popped her head into the room. "You ready? Photographer's all set up; we're just waiting on you."

Nation nodded and headed towards the door closely followed by the boys. The five followed the blonde woman down the hallway until they arrived in a large open room. In the center was a giant white space with several lights directed at it and a photograph stood off to the side, camera in hand.

She turned around when she spotted the band entering the room. The brunette smiled at them, waving them over. The guys looked towards Nation before quickly following after her. Nation extended a hand and smiled as she shook the older woman's hand.

"Nation Way," She introduced herself.

"Carrie Walker," She replied with a thick Scottish accent. "I don't know if you remembered but I've met you before. I was doing a shoot for My Chem back in their early days. You were probably ten."

Nation's eyes widen in realization, finally knowing where she recognized her familiar green eyes. Nobody had been in the mood for pictures that day so Carrie had taken advantage of the ten year old having to accompany them. She bribed the young girl with Oreos, saying that if she could get the guys to smile she could have the whole package. Of course, the ten year old had ran straight towards the guys and jumped into Frank's arms. At first they were confused but they soon brightened when Nation went on a rant about getting cookies later. That was the first shoot Nation had been a part of and one of the first time she put on a mask to conceal herself.

"Oh my god, Oreo lady!" Nation exclaimed in shock. The guys looked at her in confusion. "When I was little, she bribed me with Oreos to help her out. That was the first photoshoot I was a part of. God that was years ago."

"Well, it's a pleasure to be working with you. You know how these things work, think you can help me again," She winked.

"Will there be Oreos?"

She pointed towards a table across the room where there was an assortment of snacks. Of course, there was a small tower of Oreos.

"So, basic little standing thing before we act like idiots?" Nation asked as they started to get to work.

"That'd be lovely. You can argue who's in the middle," She laughed. The five musicians looked at each other as if in a silent argument. The guys all looked at each other before directing their attention towards Nation. She groaned.

"Brilliant. Just what I want, half my face front and center." The guys all laughed as they all started to get into place.

Nation stood front and center with Brendon on her left and Ryan on her right, slightly behind her. Behind Brendon was Spencer and Jon was behind Ryan. Carrie stood in front of them with her camera raised she snapped a few photos of them straight faced. She pulled the camera away and frowned.

"Smile, come on. The only one who has a good resting bitch face is Nation and she's only entitled that cause no one knows what the fuck her face looks like. Smirk, make a weird face. Give me something," She joked. This caused the guys to all smile and laugh while Nation gave her a smirk. The camera flashed a few more times before Nation let out a giggle.

The guys raised their eyebrows before being surprised by Nation holding out her arms and falling backwards. Brendon and Ryan were quick to react catching her mid fall as the camera flashed. They laughed as they looked down at her, the camera continuing to flash a moment before they let her drop to the floor.

"You dicks!" She chuckled as she sat up on the floor. She sat crisscross apple sauce before an idea struck her. "Wait, Ryan did you bring that copy of Fever that I asked you too?" He pulled out the album from his pocket. Way wondered how the hell he managed to fit the damn thing in there. "Good, make a semicircle," She said, "Don't give me looks, come on!"

The guys sat in a semicircle, branching off from Nation.

Carrie's eyes widen and she motioned for one of the men working there to go get something. He came back a moment later with a little stand. Nation handed over the album and he set it down on the stand in the center of their semicircle. All eyes were on the album as Nation tilted her head to the side. Jon and Spencer grinned at the sight of it as always while Brendon and Ryan exchanged proud smiles. The camera flashed once again.

"I never would have thought of that," Carrie shook her head with a smile. "Got anything else for me?"

Brendon and Ryan exchanged quick looked before they quickly stood up with the others soon to follow.

"Fight me," Brendon laughed as he raised his fist while Ryan did the same.

"Let's go."

Jon went behind Ryan and pretended to hold him back while Spencer did the same with Brendon. Nation stood between them with her arms held out as if breaking up the fight. The camera flashed and a second later they all laughed, not managing to keep such serious looks.

"Someone should put on Linkin Park," Nation randomly said. Carrie pointed to a young man with black hair and he quickly ran off. A moment later, the said band started to play through the speakers. "Oh sweet lordie Billie Joe Armstrong, I'm a goddess."

"You obviously haven't looked in the mirror lately then," Brendon joked and Nation shot him a playful glare.


	9. Chapter 9

**Nation stood nervously at the gate of her flight.** It was set to take off in half an hour but she didn't want to leave. Those first two weeks she was here, she would have jumped at the opportunity. Though now, she was perfectly content with staying put.

Oh course, she wasn't exactly thrilled with sharing a two bedroom apartment with four guys, one of which is a total pervert, but they had quickly warmed up to her. The complete strangers had turned into some of her closest friends in a matter of two short months. Even Brendon, who had done nothing but been a complete ass to her, had become one of her best friends.

Nation still wondered how she had functioned without having friends as close as those six guys. Ryan, Brendon, Spencer, Jon, Tyler and Josh have all made a huge impact on her life.

It was hard enough to leave Josh and Tyler back in Jersey and then to see them drive away once more after they had visited; Nation wasn't quite sure when she will see her band mates again. It would be months or even a matter of a few weeks. They had gone through their tour dates trying to find somewhere where Panic! at the Disco or My Chem ever crossed each other but it seems they'd always be on the opposite side of the country.

She hugged Albert close to her chest. The guys were still with her, all sitting and watching her pace back and forth.

Brendon finally had enough. "Alright, either sit down or tell us what's bothering you. Both works too." He ran a hand through his hair as he sighed. Nation let out a huff and walked over to them, taking a seat in Brendon's lap. His eyes widened for a moment, not having expected that.

"I'm not sure if I wanna go," She mumbled as she leaned back into Brendon's chest. The guys all raised eyebrows at her sudden comfortableness with the boy, considering two weeks ago they were biting each other's heads off. Though, while recording last week, they seem to have grown really close.

"So don't," Jon shrugged. He eyed the two as Nation buried her head in the crook of Brendon's neck, seeming too frustrated to face the world.

"But I want to," She wined.

Brendon rolled his eyes as the girl contradicted herself. He wrapped his arms around her torso before resting his chin on her shoulder. "You're contradicting yourself."

"I know."

"So, what are you gunna do?" Spencer asked as he glanced at his watch. "You've got twenty minutes to make up your mind."

"I'm going. I already know that. But, I don't want to leave you guys. Being with my family again is going to be great and then in June I finally get to hug Dan, then there's all of Asia and Australia to explore! Then back to the states before I finally get to go the fuck home and hang out with Josh and Ty. But I'll probably just end up grabbing them and lugging them back to go see you guys. Just, ugh," She let out a frustrated groan as she looked up at the ceiling, "life is hard."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome," She smiled sarcastically at Ryan. A voice on the overhead speaker called for Nation's flight. She stood and picked up her carryon bag, slinging it over her shoulder. Nation looked at the guys. "I guess I'll call one of you when I land."

"So, Ryan?"

"Yeah, pretty much," She laughed before going over and hugging Jon. "See ya, Jonny Boy." She then hugged Spencer. "Keep those three in check will you?"

"Not like I wasn't doing that before. You leaving is just less work for me." He smiled.

"Rude." Nation hugged Ryan, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. "Bye, bye, Ry, Ry. Oh hey, that rhymes. Bye, bye, Ry, Ry. Huh, I should use that more often."

The boy laughed. "Talk to you soon, Nation."

Nation turned around to wrap her arms around Brendon, hugging him tightly. He held her close and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

"Text me," he told her.

"Who else am I going to complain to? Everyone else will take it so seriously," She joked. She pulled away and tucked a lock of white hair behind her ear. "I'll call Ryro when I land. Bye, Panic!"

"Dude, you're Panic! too," Ryan reminded her as she began to walk away. She turned around to beam at him.

"Yeah, but I think panicking at discos should be saved when everyone's around."

"What the hell is that even supposed to mean?" Spencer asked, speaking everyone's mind.

The girl only laughed, shaking her head as she turned around and walked away.

**

"FRANKIE!" Nation squealed as she finally spotted one of the members of My Chemical Romance. The short man turned around at the sound of his name, grinning ear to ear as he spotted her.

She quickly made her way over, throwing her arms around the tattooed man. He picked her up, spinning her around before quickly setting her down. He grabbed her bags, before taking her hand and dragging her to Starbucks.

Of course that's where everyone else was. The Way's love coffee more than they did each other – but that alone was debatable – so it was not a surprise to anybody to know that they had dragged Ray and Bob into the café whilst leaving Frank to keep a look out for the smallest Way.

The Way's looked up as the two entered the café. Gerard smiled and quickly stood up to hug his daughter.

"Hey, Little Way."

"Little Way?" She asked with a confused expression.

"Eh," He shrugged. "I tried. Never doing that again."

"What, trying?"

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, we gotta hit the road. Nevada is waiting!"

**

"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS!?" Ray exclaimed in shock as he and Nation played guitar hero. How the hell she was getting a perfect score on Expert, he didn't know.

"Remember that week last summer where I basically lived at Tyler's, saying that we were doing something _really_ important," She said as all the guys looked at her in awe.

Gerard raised an eyebrow at that, remembering it clearing. Of course, that had nothing to do with that fact that he and Frankie didn't have to worry about her hearing anything. "Yeah."

"Well, _this_ was really important," She laughed.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Cos I'm your kid."

"Ah."

She finished the song before handing the guitar controller off to Bob. He took it and began skimming through the songs whilst trying to decide which he wanted to play.

"So, how's Panic!?" Frank asked curiously.

She smiled at the name. "The guys are good. According to Ryan, Spence and Jon have stocked up on coffee, awaiting my return," Nation chuckled, "I can't wait to see those idiots again."

"You know you can go back whenever you want, right?" Gerard asked her as she took a seat on the couch next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Maybe after the UK dates," She said.

"Oh yeah. How's Dan by the way?" Gerard asked curiously.

"Same old same old. Had an existential crisis about life again the other night. That was hilarious. That boy is ridiculous, I'm telling you," She laughed as she pushed her hair out of her face. "You know, I should either get a haircut or re-dye this."

"What color?"

"I don't know. I'm kinda missing the black, actually."

"You should just buzz your head," Frank joked as he collapsed onto the couch on Gerard's opposite side. Gee threw his arm around Frank's shoulder pulling him closer.

"Yeah. No. I'll let it grow out a bit, then get it cut, again."

Gerard wrapped his finger around a lock of her hair as he thought. "Well, you could just dye it black again. That way you don't have to wait for it to grow back. Sound good?" She nodded in agreement as she let her eyes close. "Jet lag?" She nodded.

"Then go to the bunks," Frank said.

"That requires moving."

Gerard rolled his eyes before standing up. Nation opened her eyes due to curiosity, only to when he lifted her into his arms.

**

**A few months later**

_Nation: There is going 2 be an ocean between us how do u feel?_

_Brendon: Relieved_

_Nation: Thanks..._

_Brendon: Jon ate all my cereal again_

_Nation: serves u right_

Brendon: why does this bus have 10 bunks there r 4 of us

_Nation: think of it as extra storage. Leave a bunk open for me tho. I'm flying over after the London date. Might bring Danyul. XD_

_Brendon: REALLY?!?!_

Nation chuckled at Brendon's last text message, glad to know he was excited for her to be coming. Gerard raised an eyebrow, as did Mikey. Her phone had been buzzing almost none stop for the past ten minutes. The brothers exchanged quick looks before Mikey spoke up.

"Who are you texting?"

"Brendon," She replied before quickly replying to the mentioned boy.

_Nation: Yup. I can teach u guys how 2 actually go to bed at a reasonable hour when switching time zones_

_Brendon: U act like u alredy do._

_Nation: Tru_

"We're about to board," Gerard says and Nation shutters at the thought.

_Nation: I'm about to board. I'll skype u when we get 2 the hotel._

_Brendon: K don't crash_

_Nation: I hate u_

_Brendon: ily2! XD_

She rolled her eyes before switching off her phone and shoving it in her pocket. She picked up her carry on and Albert and quickly followed her family out of the Starbucks they had been in for the time being.

**

Nation sat in her seat with her sketch book in her lap, pencil in her right hand. On the outside she looked perfectly calm but she was internally screaming. She clutched her father's hand with her left, her grip so tight that her knuckles had gone white. At this point, she could possibly break Gerard's hand but he stayed silent. She needed the comfort at the moment.

He glanced towards her sketch pad, smiling to himself when he saw who she was drawing. It was her and the band, but it seemed as if she had yet to draw Bob and Ray even though the rest were nearly finished.

"That looks nice," he complimented, leaning over a bit.

She shook her head with a laugh. "Frank looks like an oompa loompa."

"When doesn't he?" Gerard chuckled.

"Fight me," he mumbled from Gerard's left side, his head rested on the man's shoulder. The two Way's had thought him to be asleep. The two laughed at the shorter man.

Nation looked back at her drawing. "I'm almost done."

"Aren't you-"

"Nope," She said popping the 'p' as she touched up Frank's hair before going to the top of the page and writing 'The Ways' in cursive.

Gerard blinked in confusion, knowing that Frank clearly does not bear the name Way. Nation smirked at his confused look before taping the picture, directing his attention to Gerard and Frank's left hands. On their fingers were two distinct wedding bands.

"Oh, oh, uh, I don't know, I-I mean, I don't know if he'd-I mean it's only-oh fuck it. You were talking to Mikey weren't you," He stuttered before finally saying a coherent sentence.

She smirked. "So, when you gunna do it?"

"We have done it." Her brow furrowed before she fake gaged. Gerard laughed. "I know what you mean." He glanced towards Frank who snored softly. "I was thinking the London show, on stage. Surprise him."

She nodded, grinning ear to ear.

"I hope you're okay with it."

She rolled her eyes. "I just drew a picture and asked you when you were going to ask him. Do you really think I'd be upset?"

"I just didn't want you to think I was replacing-"

"Mom?" She shook her head. "Dad, it's literally impossible to even try to replace her in that sort of way. You two were never together."

"Oh yeah."

"You're an idiot."

"I know."

**

Nation sat on top of an amp towards Frank's side of the stage, swinging her feet as the guys argued over the set list for tonight. They had already set one, but Bob seemed to have forgotten how to play Hang 'Em High on their flight over the ocean, so they had to choose something else.

Nation's phone rang. Her brow furrowed as she dug it out of her pocket. The rest of Panic! didn't have international calling so they can't call her whilst she's in the UK and anyone else who would call is currently arguing with each other ten feet away. That leaves only one other.

"City morgue, you kill 'em, we chill 'em," She spoke into her phone.

"Is that literally how you answer your phone," The familiar British accent drifted through her speaker. Nation grinned ear to ear at the sound of his voice.

"Nah, only to my fellow murders."

"Good to know I have somewhere to store my victims' bodies then," He laughed. "So, I got your long arse email. My mum surprisingly agreed to let me go for summer break. But, now she's coming with me to the concert instead of my dad. Wants to meet your Dad or something like that."

"Well, hope she's not homophobic."

"Why?"

"You'll see," She chuckled. "You're on the train right?"

"Yup. Mum just left to use the toilet. Figured I'd call you seeing as I've never had the opportunity to before," he laughed. "By the way, I will be seeing you in approximately... one hour plus a taxi ride."

"God, I can't wait to hug you," She laughed. "I hope you're squishy."

"Bet twenty pounds, I am," He joked.

"You're on. Wait, that doesn't work if we're betting on the same outcome."

Frank came back over to Nation. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"We're playing Skylines and Turnstiles," he told her and her eyes widen.

"Really?" She asked excitedly, jumping up and in her spot.

"What?" Dan asked from the other end.

"We're playing Skylines and Turnstiles," She told him and she heard an intake of breath.

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy monkey butt testicles this is a beautiful moment in history, oh my god," he rambled quickly causing her to laugh. "Okay, you go back to whatever the fuck you're doing. Go through that because I can't wait to scream the lyrics later and play air guitar and fucking other shit. And holy shit I get to hug you in an hour this is brilliant oh my god. Okay, okay, okay, bye, bye, hug you soon. Bye." And with that he hung up the phone. Nation laughed at the boy before pocketing her phone.

**

Nation stood nervously outside the back of theater where she told Dan to meet her. She tapped impatiently as she waited for the taxi to finally pull up. Gerard was a few feet behind her sitting on a bench that just happened to be there. He had Nation's camera in hand. The girl had asked her father to record her and Dan meeting in person for the first time.

Her eyes widened when she saw a taxi pull up. Gerard chuckled as she started to jump up and down in excitement. He quickly turned on the camera pressing record.

The taxi pulled up a few in front of her and a moment later, the back door swung open to reveal an excited Dan Howell. The tall brunette jumped out of the cab and rushed over to Nation.

"NATION!" he shouted.

"DANNY!" She exclaimed as they threw their arms around each other in a tight hug. Dan lifted her up and her in circles before placing her on the ground once again, still holding on to her.

"Holy crap, you're small," Dan chuckled, squeezing her tightly.

"And you're squishy," She replied in a childish voice.

Gerard cleared his throat and the two teenagers looked towards him. "You gunna introduce me or what?"

The two finally pulled away with a laugh.

"Not like we haven't met on skype before," Dan chuckled.

"I think he meant to me," A woman chuckled from behind them. They turned around to see a short woman with brown curls and chocolate eyes pulling a suit case out of the cab before paying the driver. The cab drove off.

Nation wondered why she had a suitcase, but soon remembered she and Dan had a flight scheduled for right after the concert.

Dan quickly moved to take the bag from the woman before walking with her over to Gerard who had just lowered the camera. "Mum, this is Nation's dad, Gerard Way. Gee, this is my mum Amanda Howell."

Amanda nudged her son, "That's Maister Way to you."

"No, it's alright. He can call me, Gee. I don't mind," Gerard said as he extended a hand to the woman. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Howell. I apologize in advance for anything I say that may offend you."

Amanda laughed. "Not like Dan hasn't heard worse at home. And please, call me Amanda. Everything should be fine as long as no one fucks each other," She said as she looked at Dan and Nation.

They both gave the woman 'what the fuck' looks before looking at each other. Both were clearly disturbed by the thought.

"Yeah, I don't think they'll be doing anything," Gerard laughed at the teenagers expressions. "You do know that I won't be with them, right? They're going off with Nation's band, Panic! at the Disco."

Amanda nodded as the four began to walk into the building once again. "Yes, Dan told me. He said he is going to wear Nation's old mask? What does that mean?"

"Oh, I wear a mask on stage and to interviews and stuff to conceal my identity. You'll see later. I've got a uniform to match this time," Nation spoke gleefully.

Dan wrapped his arm around Nation's shoulders as they walked. "So, I'm wearing your revenge mask? The black one, right?" Nation nodded. "Literally going to cry."

**

My Chemical Romance, Nation, and Dan were all in the dressing room, getting ready for the concert. Amanda was elsewhere, waiting for the concert to begin like all the fans.

Nation, Gerard, and Frank were all touching up their eyeliner in the mirror whilst the rest of the guys sat on the couch. Dan stood next to Nation, struggling to tie the mask.

"Dad, can you help Dan?" Nation asked without even needing to glance up at the boy to know he was struggling.

"I got ya," Mikey said as he came over, quickly tying the black fabric around Dan's head.

"I'm surprised it actually fits," Dan chuckled.

Nation rolled her eyes playfully. "That's because we had one made for you, idiot. My head's to small compared to yours." She picked up her veil seconds before Mikey took it from her hands, quickly putting into place for her. "Thanks," She said before pulling on her jacket.

"Are those comfortable?" Dan asked curiously. The material was rough and seemed scratchy.

"Find out for yourself."

Dan's brow furrowed before a jacket, identical to Ray's was tossed to him. He turned to see that Princess Fro Fro himself had just given Dan one of his extra, seeing that each member had three sets of their same uniform. Dan pulled it on as he grinned excitedly. It fit like a glove.

"Keep it," Fro said before digging around once again. Suddenly, he threw a pair of pants towards the boy. "Might as well finish the set."

"Seriously, I can't. I don't want to-"

"I have two others and can get another no problem. Don't worry about it."

Dan grinned excited. He was about to open his mouth to say something but Nation cut him off.

"Dan, we're going to be living with each other for the next six weeks, if you honestly think anyone in this room cares if you change you have a problem."

Dan was shocked by the girl's words but went towards the corner of the room to change nonetheless, still feeling awkward that Nation was in the room. Although, the girl was too focused on buttoning her jacket to notice him. He quickly changed out of his skinny jeans and into the black trousers.

Nation looked over when he was finished. She smiled at him. "Tada. Officially part of the family. Oh, by the way, Dad, would it be wrong of me to wear the black parade uniform while with Panic! or no? I mean, I've got the new veil for it and everything but I wasn't sure if I'm allowed to wear this for our concerts. But then again, I'm not sure if the guys are doing anything and I don't want to-"

Gerard placed his hand over her mouth to shut her up.

"Wear whatever you want. If that means this," Gerard spoke as he adjusted her collar, "that's perfectly fine."

She tried to speak but was muffled by his hand. He raised an eyebrow and laughed before quickly pulling his hand away in disgust. Nation had licked his hand. He yanked his hand around, cringing as he wiped it off on his pants. She smiled in triumph.

"I win."

**

"So, this next song, we're going to change it up a bit," Gerard said into his mic. Nation hopped off the amp she was sitting on and ran off stage quickly as Gerard continued to speak. "I won't be singing, I'm leaving it up to Nation." This caused the crowd to scream as Nation grabbed Dan firmly by the wrist and pulled him out onto the stage. Crew members started to roll the grand piano onto stage like usual. "And her best friend."

Frank looked mildly confused whilst the rest of the guys grinned.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked.

"You played Cancer for me once on the piano. Now, you're gunna do it for 20,000 people."

"WHaT?!"

She sat down on the stool in front of the piano and pulled Dan down onto the spot on her right.

"Cause this is Frank's favorite song," She whispered to him, "and my Dad's about to propose."

His eyes widen before he quickly situated himself, prepared to play for his life. Nation smiled and laughed at the boy's actions. "You play right hand I'll play left," She told him as she adjusted the mic stand so that it was in front of them.

"So, Frankie," Nation spoke into her microphone, "I hope you're ready for the best moment of your life. And if it isn't you're about to embarrass my Dad in front of twenty thousand people. So, good luck."

Frank went over to his mic. "Why does everyone know what's going on except me?"

"Cause my brother's a little shit," Mikey joked.

"True," Nation chuckled. "Okay, ready?" She asked Dan and he nodded. She counted off before the two of them began to play together. The two looked at each other and grinned before Nation began to sing.

"Turn away,  
If you could get me a drink   
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded   
Call my aunt Marie  
Help her gather all my things  
And bury me in all my favorite colors,   
My sisters and my brothers, still,   
I will not kiss you,   
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you."

She nudged Dan, as if to tell him to sing as well. He shook his head but joined in anyway, his voice blending with Nation's. She smiled when she heard him sing perfectly in tune, knowing the lyrics by heard.

"Now turn away,   
'Cause I'm awful just to see   
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,   
Oh, my agony,   
Know that I will never marry,   
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo  
But counting down the days to go  
It just ain't living  
And I just hope you know

That if you say (if you say)  
Goodbye today (goodbye today)  
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you  
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you."

"Frank fucking Iero," Gerard said as he stood next to the guitarists. Dan and Nation turned around and grinned at the sight. Frank's brow was furrowed as he looked up at his boyfriend. "I've known you for fucking years and I love you so much," He said into his mic so that the crowd could hear clearly. They had all gone silent, unsure of what was going on. "There's a line in that song that two years ago I thought was true. But," He said as he reached into his pocket, "I now know that it's bullshit. And I'm pretty sure you do too."

Gerard got down on one knee and Frank grinned running a hand threw his hair as he shook his head back and forth, looking down at the singer. Gerard held up the small box and opened it, revealing the silver band.

"What do you say, Frankie? Want to be stuck with me forever?"

Frank laughed before leaning down and kissing the man causing the crowd to scream as the band all clapped and shouted with them. They pulled away and grinned at each other as Gerard slipped the ring onto Frank's finger.

Gerard brought the mic back up to his lips.

"I'll take that as a yes."


	10. Chapter 10

"Bye, Dan. Be sure to let Gerard know when you two land, okay?" Amanda said after hugging her son tightly.

"Yeah. Don't worry, Mum, I'll be fine."

Nation hugged Gerard tightly and he planted a kiss on her cheek. "Bye, Dad. Enjoy Frank."

He chuckled. "Don't have to tell me twice. Got everything: phone, IPod, headphones, money?"

Nation nodded quickly. "Dad, stop worrying. I'll let you know when we land. The guys and I will all skype you from the bus."

"Good," he said before their flight was called. Gerard kissed Nation's cheek one more time. "Don't do anything you don't want on the internet."

"Says the man who jacked off on stage."

"Shut up," he laughed as Nation and Dan began to walk away, waving goodbye to their parents.

"Excited?" Nation asked her best friend. He nodded joyfully.

Dan glanced down at her, "Can't wait. You think the guys will like me?"

"Dan, you've already met them."

"Yeah, but like in person, I mean. I was terrified that when you met me yesterday you'd see my face and like cringe or something."

Nation rolled her eyes as she let out a giggle. "Why in the world would I do that? You've got a nice face, young Daniel. I don't intend on cringing at the sight of it."

Dan chuckled. "Thanks, Nation... So, how much sex do you think Gee and Frank are going to have now that you're going back to Panic!?"

"A lot. And honestly, I don't want to think about it," She cringed.

"See, told you I'd make you cringe!"

"Yeah, no," She said flatly. "That was not you. That was the thought of my Dad taking it up the ass cos there is shit in this world I never want to see. And that is on the top of the list."

"What's number two?"

"Justin Bieber man. No one wants to see him."

"What's wrong with Justin Bieber?"

"I don't know man. I've just got this feeling about the dude," Nation replied, squinting her eyes as if thinking hard.

Dan raised an eyebrow. "Okay then... So, is now a good time to tell you I hate planes?"

"Oh brilliant..."

"Yeah," he said rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm weird I know."

She shook her head. "I mean, brilliant, now there's two of us."

He chuckled. "Guess we can freak out together then."

"Wouldn't have done it anyway," Nation shrugged as she pushed her black strands out of her face. She had dyed it back to black a few days ago.

**

Nation and Dan had death grips on each other's hands, although, Nation's face was a mask of calmness whilst Dan was sweating bullets.

"Remind me to never get on a plane again," He told her and she let out a nervous laugh.

"So, you're gunna take a boat back home then?"

"Yup."

"That'll take months."

He groaned. "Fuck."

The plane finally touched the ground and both teens let out a sigh of relief.

**

Way and Howell walked through the airport, dragging their bags behind them. Panic! was currently on a two week break, but a week had already gone by since it began. Nation pulled out her phone and sent Gerard a quick message saying they had landed. She didn't care to think of the phone bill.

Dan looked around in awe. "Everyone's so American."

Nation rolled her eyes. "Well," She said, "we are in America. Maryland to be exact. I don't know if I told you that."

"You did. Like five times now. You keep forgetting."

"Oh yeah... Oh look, there's Brendon!" Nation spoke excitedly and pointed towards a brunette leaning against a wall whilst talking on his phone. Nation grabbed hold of Dan's hand dragging him towards the boy.

Brendon looked towards them and grinned, quickly saying goodbye to whoever he was talking to.

Nation dropped Dan's hand as they reached Brendon. Brendon grinned and opened his arms and she jumped into them, hugging him tightly as he spun her around in a circle.

"The guys and I missed you," He told her as he set her down.

She chuckled. "You mean you missed me keeping the order.

He nodded and laughed before looking towards Dan. "You must be the ever-so-famous Danus Howell."

Dan threw his head back as he let out an aggravated moan. "I knew I'd regret that later. Well, you know what, fuck it. Nice to meet you Brendon," He said and extended his hand. Brendon took it, surprising Dan by pulling him into a quick bro hug.

"Well then," Brendon said as he grabbed Nation's bag from her, "actual car is outside. Guys didn't feel like waking up this early."

"Wait, actual car?" Nation questioned as she and Dan followed after the boy.

He nodded, grinning. "Scrapped the piece of shit and bought a new car. It was the first thing I did after the album released. Well, that and payed the bills cause we were fucking behind. Like, big time. Almost got kicked out."

Dan looked at Nation in surprise as she rolled her eyes. She sighed, "I would have thought Ryan would have at least thought to pay the damn bills."

"Yeah, he did," He paused as they exited the airport, "after the electricity got cut off."

**

"Hey shitheads," Nation shouted as the trio entered the small apartment. "I'm home!"

No response.

Nation rolled her eyes and took her bag from Brendon before he Nation rolled her eyes but s her, not sure as to what to do.

n and Ryan'lls."after the album released. Well, that and payed thewalked towards the kitchen. She then went towards her, Brendon and Ryan's bedroom. Dan followed after her, not sure as to what to do.

The girl turned on the lights and dropped her bag on the floor by her mattress. She kicked off her shoes and tossed her phone onto her bed before picking up the nearest pillow. Nation moved over to Ryan's sleeping form and hit him with the pillow. He sat up, dazed and confused.

"What the fuck?" He rubbed his eyes before they settled on Dan. "Who the fuck are you?" Nation hit him with the pillow again. His gaze quickly moved to her and he relaxed. "Thanks for the wakeup call. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep. Hi Dan."

Nation chuckled at her friend before looking towards Dan. "You can leave your stuff in here if you want. We'll only be here for a week before we set out on the road again," She moved towards the door, turning the light switch off as she passed it. Dan followed. "Want some food? There might actually be some. Most likely left over pizza or Chinese though."

The two entered the kitchen to see Brendon at the stove making pancakes.

"Or Brendon will suddenly know how to cook," Nation said shocked.

Dan's eyes went to the table where he saw a plate of pancakes already ready, waiting to be eaten. He grinned before Brendon spoke, "Hey, Dan, mind waking the guys up. Spence and Jon are in the room next to our," Brendon asked the Brit. Dan sighed as he looked at the pancakes before reluctantly leaving to wake up the guys. He pondered what Spencer and Jon's reactions would be to a stranger coming into their room at eight in the morning.

Nation came up next to Brendon, leaning on the counter as she raised her brow.

"What?" He glanced at her with a soft smile playing on his lips.

She shook her head. "You learned how to make pancakes because you know I prefer them over waffles, unlike the rest of the guys." He grinned. "You're a dork."

"But I'm your dork."

"Who said I want you?" She chuckled. She spotted an IHome sitting on the counter in the corner. "I see you've spent your money wisely," She chuckled as she went over to it, plugging in her IPod.

"That was literally the first thing Spencer bought," Brendon laughed as she scrolling through her playlist.

"Fuck it."" She pressed shuffle and smiled when High School Never Ends by Bowling for Soup came on. Brendon smiled as she played air guitar as she sang along. "Four years you think for sure, that's all you got to endure. All the total dicks, all the stuck up chicks, so superficial, so immature. Then then you graduate you take a look around and you say HEY WAIT! This is the same as where I just came from. I thought it was over. Aw that's just great."

Dan slid into the kitchen glad he was wearing socks, the guys close after him as the chorus began.

They all joined Nation in on singing along to the music. The girl smiled and laughed, it was good to know they all had the same great music taste as herself.

The whole damn world is just as obsessed  
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex  
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys  
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess  
And you still don't have the right look  
And you don't have the right friends  
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends  
High school never ends

The song finished and they all laughed and Brendon shook his head as he finished cooking the pancakes. Nation went to the pantry to get the paper plates and was surprised to discover they had actual dishes.

Ryan laughed at her reaction reaching over her to grab them off the top shelf, not wanting her to drop them. "Yeah, I bought actual plates and shit."

"Okay, so Brendon payed bills and got a car, Spencer got an IHome, and you got dishes. Jon," Nation spoke looking at him as he smirked. "What the hell did you get first?"

"I put fifty grand in a savings account for my little sister's college," He said with a smile. All the guys looked at him in shock. He obviously hadn't told them what he had done first.

Their album had gone to number ten on the top twenty's chart in the first week, they made millions. None of them had thought to get a bigger place or new instruments, they had all done something practical, content where they were. They all acted as if nothing had changed. But, Jon had done something huge, helping out his family like that. Brendon wondered if he should do something for his large family.

"Lucky little shit. I'd be thrilled if I had that for college," Dan said as Ryan passed him a plate. He sat down at the small table, going ahead and taking two pancakes from the stack whilst Brendon sat down another stack of them. Nation sat down next to Dan.

"Dan, college is like a quarter of what it is here back in England."

"Oh yeah."

The rest of the guys sat down around the small table and began piling the pancakes onto their own plates, smothering them in syrup.

"So, Nation," Spencer spoke through a mouth full of food. She looked at him before frowned. He smiled in apology before swallowing and continuing to speak. "How was tour with your family?"

"It was great. Dad and Frank got engaged on stage last show. Glad Dan and I left when we did," Nation joked as she elbowed Dan. He laughed as well.

"God, gave me a heart attack when you pulled me out on stage like that. I'm not very keen on audience participation, if you didn't know."

She shrugged. "Well, I do now. That's all that matters."

Dan nodded in agreement as he took a bite of his food.

"So," Nation spoke, "are we in a shitty van or do have an actual bus?"

"Bus," Ryan answered.

"Woo. Have we had this conversation already?"

"Probably."

"Wouldn't surprise me."

"Do you know yourself?"

"Yes," Brendon replied and Nation looked across the table at him. "Right before you got on your plane to England. I was ranting about their being ten bunks."

"Oh yeah."

The guys all laughed at her forgetfulness.

Jon's brow furrowed. "Hold on. Why'd you get to text her? Why did you not text us?" He said motioning between him and Spencer.

"Why do I always get left out?" Ryan complained.

"Cause you're the least favorite," Brendon replied causing Dan to laugh at the guy's antics.

"Seriously though," Jon continued, "answer the question. Few weeks before you left you guys were ready to tear each other's throats out. We got to recording and suddenly your best friends. What's up with that?"

Nation shrugged, taking a sip of the coffee Brendon had made her. "I don't know. Three a.m. pizza bonding?"

"Are you sure it wasn't bondage?" Dan asked and Nation elbowed him as he laughed.

"I wish," Brendon said causing Nation to roll her eyes.

"I hate all of you."

Dan looked over at her with questioning eyes. "What's new?"

"True."

**

Nation grinned as the bus pulled up in front of the apartment building. "Let's go!" She shouted excitedly, pulling her duffle bag over her shoulder as she rushed towards the front door of the apartment.

"Hold up," Ryan told her as Spencer and Jon exited their bedroom, turning off the lights.

Brendon came out of his room whilst pulling on a hoodie. His bag was sitting in the living room. Nation pouted by the door knowing she had to wait for the boys. Dan came out of the room, following Brendon as he tugged his suitcase behind him, his mask in hand, black parade jacket unbuttoned.

"Oh shit," Nation swore before dropping her bag and rushing back to her bedroom. She went towards the closet, pulling out the black parade uniform and her top hat veil. She tossed the uniform on her bed before going over to the mirror hung on the wall. Nation struggled for a moment before having the veil on, covering her face. "Dan," She called as she picked up the uniform and exited the room, kicking the door closed behind her, "put on your mask."

Nation moved towards the window, pushing the blinds aside to see the small crowd of photographers standing their waiting for them to exit the building. She shook her head.

"Why do they want pictures anyway?" Jon asked, "Have you seen my face?"

"Unfortunately," Spencer replied, earning him a glare from his friend.

Dan struggled to put on the mask and Nation rolled her eyes. She walked over and he knelt down so that she could assist him. "Your veil's on crooked."

"Don't care." She went over to the door and picked up her duffle, pulling it over her shoulder and clutching her uniform in her arms. "Ready?"

"Eh."

"Great response." Nation pulled open the door to their apartment and they all filed out one by one. Nation led the way with Dan close behind her, Ryan taking up the rear as to lock up the house. The all climbed into the elevator waiting patiently to reach the ground floor. When they did, Nation led the way once again pushing open the front door of the apartment building. The cameras began to flash as she began to push her way through the crowd to reach the bus.

The whole band including Dan stayed silent as they made their way towards the bus.

"I LOVE YOU NATION!" Nation heard someone scream to her right. She turned her head and grinned when she saw a couple fans standing there with grins on their faces, at a respected distance away.

She yelled back. "I LOVE YOU TOO! GOOD LUCK GETTING IN THE BUILDING!"

Nation had recognized the teenagers, they all lived a few floor below her and the guys. They had even made the band Christmas cookies.

"WE'LL WAIT!"

Nation laughed as she quickly approached the bus. She stopped and looked at the pin number on the bus. She looked towards the boys.

"What is it?"

"Dick," Brendon replied.

Nation rolled her eyes but typed in 3425 in anyway. The door unlocked and they all quickly boarded smiling at the drive. "I'm Nation nice to meet you this is Dan," She pointed behind her before quickly moving towards the living space. The rest of the guys got on the bus and before the driver quickly shut the door and drove away. Nation went back towards the driver. "Got a name mister-driver-man."

"I'm Lance. Shitty name I know. Guys have taken to calling me Ace instead." He replied keeping his green eyes on the road. His dirty blond hair was hidden under an old ball cap. Ace looked to be somewhere in his mid-thirties.

"Well, Ace, I'm sorry for what you've had to put up with whilst I've been away. And I look forward to our many quick getaways of the future."

"So do I, Nation. Now I'd be quick to claim a bunk if I were you."

"Right." She nodded before quickly hurrying towards the back of the bus. The guys had all collapsed onto the couch, having tossed their bags into the corner. She rolled her eyes and grabbed Dan, who quickly picked up his bag and followed her towards the bunks. "Home sweet home," She grinned as she went and took the bottom bunk on the left hand side. Dan claimed the one above her.

Nation tossed her duffle into the bunk as Dan copied her action with his bunk.

"Ryan had the bag of snacks right?"

"Yeah," Dan replied as he followed her out of the room. Nation went over to the pile of bags and grabbed the blue duffle bag. She went to the small kitchen area and opened the few cabinets they had. Opening the bag, she began pulling out a few boxes of cereal, Poptarts and a few bags of chips, along with their instant coffee.

"Why are you already unpacking shit?" Brendon asked curiously.

Nation glance up at him as Dan went over and sat down on the couch with the other guys, joining their conversation.

"Because I have a certain way of doing things on tour, usually I'd go straight to the bunks and pass out but I don't see a Toro around to unpack food. Besides, otherwise I'd come in here at four am and wonder why the fuck the cabinets are empty and cry when I think we forgot the Pringles.

Brendon shrugged and knelt on the floor beside her, beginning to help her. She smiled in thanks as they unpacked the food.

That's when Ace slammed on the breaks. "Sorry!" he called back to us.

Nation was forced back into Brendon as he was thrown into the cabinet. He quickly wrapped his arms around the younger girl. All the guys held onto the couch and each other to keep from moving.

"You guys okay?" Ace called out to us.

"What the fuck was that?" Spencer asked as he got up and went towards Ace.

"Asshole cut me off."

Brendon looked down at Nation. "You okay?"

She nodded, pulling away from him. "Thanks, I guess."

He chuckled, "Anytime."

**

Nation stood in front of the bathroom mirror on the bus, adjusting her veil. Everyone else was dressed and ready to head inside. She couldn't help but laugh when her fellow band members all came to her and asked for her eyeliner. It was even funnier when Brendon came to her for help after poking himself in the eye three times. Nation still isn't quite sure what the hell Ryan did with his.

"Nation stop messing with the damn veil and move, I gotta piss," Brendon said causing her to chuckle before exiting the small room. Nation went back towards the front of the bus seeing all the guys lounging around looking excited. They always got like this before a show.

Dan sat in a chair off to the side in his black parade uniform with his mask in hand, looking out of place, almost awkward. Nation smiled softly and went over and took the mask from him. He looked up at her with confused eyes, but said nothing. She swiftly tied the mask around his head, allowing him to adjust it himself.

"Thanks."

Nation moved and sat on the boys lap seeing as there were no other seats available. The guys were all off in their own conversation and Dan seemed to be on the verge of an existential crisis.

"What's up?"

"The sky," He replied and Nation shot him a glare which... he couldn't see. "You're glaring at me aren't you?" She nodded. "Figured," he chuckled. "I don't know. It's just, this is the most freedom I've ever been given. I'm confused as to why my mum let me come with you, having never met you or your dad before. Now, here I am traveling American with you for the next few weeks, wearing an original black parade uniform and hiding behind a mask. It's all just so..."

"Real?" She supplied.

He nodded. "How the hell do you do this? Wear the mask all the time? Why does it so easily trick people? Why are you so okay with hiding?"

She shrugged, looking at her lap. "I don't know. It's always just been a part of my life. Hiding away, ignoring cameras whilst also looking straight towards them. I can do whatever I want and have the whole world know, but still I'm able to walk down the street and have no one know who I am. It's almost scary. I went into a store once, one of the weeks MCR was on the cover of Kerrang! I was at the photoshoot that day, so I was there too. Some kid had picked it up and was jumping up and down. She was probably like twelve. I remember she said 'Mom, I want to be like her when I grew up.' It was the best feeling in the world but hearing what her mother had to say about me was probably the worst."

Nation hadn't realized that the whole room had gone silent.

"What'd she say?" Brendon asked. Nation's head snapped away from her hands and towards Brendon. Everyone had heard her. She only meant for Dan to hear. He was the one that had asked. He was the only one that should have heard. But, it was too late now. Besides, this is their world as well now.

Nation swallowed, shaking her head. "The mom sat there and insulted my family, saying that I'm the result of poor parenting and that I'm wasting my life by filling her daughter's head full lies. She told her daughter that she shouldn't waste her pretty face like me. I still wonder what the hell was going through the dumbasses head when she said that. I mean, what the fuck does my face have to do with what I do with my life? People don't even know what it fucking looks like!"

The guys laughed at that. Nation shook her head with a small smile.

"Should have seen the girls face," Nation continued. "She looked around so shocked by her mom's words that she saw me and my dad a few feet away."

"She recognized you?" Ryan asked curious.

"Nope. Figured I was a fan I guess, I was wearing a My Chem shirt that day and had looked towards my dad in shock. Must have figured I was like 'holy fuck I'm standing next to Gerard fucking Way' or something."

"She say anything else?"

Nation laughed, smiling at the memory. "I guess it suddenly gave her some courage to fight back or something because she turned straight towards her mother and called her a bitch for judging someone based on appearances and then pointed towards my dad on the magazine and then at him next to me and told her that if she had such a problem with him and what kind of parent he was she could go talk to him herself."

"Did she?" Brendon asked and Nation laughed as she nodded her head.

"She took one look at the magazine and then my father and stormed right over. Stood there and yelled at him for a solid five minutes while I sat there and laughed my ass off. The girl stood there horrified, kept apologizing. I just high fived her."

"What'd Gee do?" Dan asked through his laughter.

"He stood there really confused and kept looking at me for help."

**

"Story time!" Jon declared as we stopped to take a five minute break to drink so water between songs.

Nation raised an eyebrow at his words as she downed a water bottle, taking her electric cello from the man running out on stage. She brought it over to the side of the stage,me courage to fight back or something because she turned straight towards her mother and called h plugging it into the amp before quickly tuning it, knowing its habit of its D string getting knocked out of tune so often.\

She picked up her mic once again. "Should I be concerned?"

"No," Brendon laughed. "This is a good story. About the next song actually."

"Oh god."

Brendon laughed. "Well, our last song that we're playing tonight is actually one of my favorites and I have Way over here to thank for it."

"Yeah, if she hadn't been such a badass while recording this, the whole album would have sounded different," Ryan spoke, "and Brendon would probably be missing his head."

Nation shrugged.

"So, long story shorter," Brendon said causing Nation to roll her eyes, "I was bitching at Ryan for not hitting the right notes so Nation walked into the recording booth like the badass she is and did it for him. And in the moment I suddenly decided to make this song a duet and then ended up scrapping all the vocals and spent the rest of the night all the way to six am rerecording vocals with her. So, basically shows for the last few months with just me on vocals is what the album would have sounded like without her and to be honest it's kinda shitty."

"Are you saying we're shit without our boobs?" Ryan asked with a smirk and chuckle

Nation raised her mic to her lips. "Ryan, I'm gunna come smack that smirk off your lips."

"Sorry."

"Yeah. But, it is true. My boobs make everything better," She laughed. "I feel really loved. So do my boobs."

"What is going on anymore," Spencer shook his head.

"I don't know," Nation laughed. "You know, Brendon, I'm having flashbacks of recording. Four am pizza sounds really good right now."

"Damn, I thought you were gunna suggest breaking into Pete's office."

"That's all the way across the country. We'll do that when we get there," Nation laughed. "Now shut up."

"Why?" Ryan asked confused.

"Build God, then we'll talk," She winked.

**

"WHO ATE THE LAST POPTART?! I WILL FIGHT U!" Nation shouted in distress after discovering the empty box.

She heard Brendon's slew of swears true. My boobs make everything better," on vocals is what the album would have sounded like without her and to and instantly knew he was the culprit. She went back to the bunks to find him sitting in his bunk, having just opened the final package of Poptarts. He handed her one of s'more poptarts before scooting closer to the wall.

"I'm watching Lion King, wanna join?"

"Oh my god, yes!" She said excitedly and quickly climbed into his bunk. He held back his blanket and let her climb into his bunk before draping it over her. He wrapped his arm around her as he moved to the laptop so it was sitting in both their laps. "Wait, why are you watching Lion King?"

"Cause it's a good fucking movie," Brendon defended causing Nation to laugh. "Where's Dan?"

"He declared war on Ryan with Guitar hero about twenty minutes ago, not as interesting as it should be."

"Ah," he said as he plugged in his head phones, handing over one of the ear buds.

**

Nation sat on the couch in her father's house with her guitar in her lap. Panic! has been off tour for three weeks and she had decided she missed Jersey. MCR won't be back until tomorrow. The house would have been empty beside her if Brendon hadn't asked to come with her. Tyler and Josh would have been with her, though.

Nation mind drifted as she gently strummed the instrument, humming to herself. The last year has been amazing. She joined a band of her own, helped write an album, she's toured, gained close friends, dragged Dan on tour for a bit, and made lasting memories.

She's spent the last few days hanging out with Tyler and Josh but it was the end of August and school was approaching soon, meaning the guys were out at the stores today in search of supplies.

It was two o'clock and Brendon had yet to wake up. She was left in silence.

"Things have changed for me and that's okay. I feel the same, I'm on my way," She sang softly before her brow went up. She moved her guitar, leaving it on the couch as she raced towards the kitchen in search of her old notebook. It had been forever sense she last wrote, meaning her precious journal had to still be there.

The girl rummaged through a draw before sighing in relief as she found it. She grabbed a pencil and went back to the living room. She hummed to herself as began to write, making notes of the chords.

She smiled seeing as it was almost complete. She sat up, ready to give it a quick run through seeing if that would help her finish it.

"Things are shaping up to be pretty odd. Little deaths in musical beds. So, it seems I'm someone I've never met. You will only hear these elegant crimes, fall on your ears from criminal dimes. They spill unfound from an unknown mouth. Everybody gets there and everybody gets their, and everybody gets their way. I'm the only one to blame. Things have changed for-" She stopped short as she noticed Brendon leaning against the doorway, watching her intently. "Sorry," She quickly apologized, "I didn't mean to wake you."

Brendon's hair was tasseled from sleep and his warm mahogany eyes were looking at her through thick frames that Nation's only seen him wear but a few times. He had on a grey t-shirt and old gym shorts from his high school.

He shook his head as he came over and sat down next to her leaning over to look at her paper.

"You have an interesting way of writing music," He chuckled at her different squiggles. "How the hell do you even read this?"

She laughed. "My mom had bought me one of those shitty ass guitars from Walmart and taught me to play on that. Thing is, I never remembered the name of the chords, so I came up with some weird hieroglyphic shit. I've used it ever sense."

"Want to explain how to read it."

"Look at your hand as if you were to play a C chord and now look at the first squiggle."

"Oh damn," Brendon said with a laugh. He picked up the pencil and wrote beside each squiggle, slowly deciphering her squiggles. He held out his hands for the guitar with a questioning look. She handed it over with a small smile.

"It's not that good, I'm telling you."

Brendon chuckled. "I was standing there longer than you think I was. It's really good. I think I've got something though."

He began to play before slipping into the vocals. "Things are shaping up to be pretty odd. Little deaths in musical beds. So it seems I'm someone I've never met." Brendon glanced over at her as she listened keenly. "You will only hear these elegant crimes, Fall on your ears from criminal dimes. They spill unfound from a pretty mouth." He nudged her as he changed the last line, causing her to smile and shake her head, giggling.

"Be happy I actually like that better," She said as she scribbled out 'unknown' and replaced it with 'pretty.'

Brendon continued. "Everybody gets there and everybody gets their, and everybody gets their way. I never said I missed her when everybody kissed her, now I'm the only one to blame." His eyes were on her as he sang and she could only blink at his words. She shook it off, ignoring the thoughts going through her head.

How could he possibly be talking about her?

"Things have change for me and that's okay. I feel the same, I'm on my way and I say. Things have changed for me and that's okay." Brendon trailed off at the chorus as Nation quickly wrote what he had sang. "I think that's good," Brendon told her. "I wouldn't change anything else."

He stood up, handing her guitar back to her. He went to leave the room, stopping the in doorway before turning around.

"By the way," He said and she looked up at him, "I'm taking you out to dinner tonight. Be ready by seven, wear something nice." He smiled before going to leave.

"Wait," She stopped him and he poked his head back into the room.

"Yes, like a date. Hope that's not a problem," He smirked. She opened her mouth to speak but he kept talking. "I asked permission of Father Way and brothers Tyler and Joshua already, so if you're coming up with an excuse, shush. Unless you don't want to, then this will be a 'celebration for being able to sit on our ass' dinner."

Nation shook her and head and laughed. "I was going to say that I don't own a dress."

"Yeah, but I know you own a suit. You wore it to that premiere thing that I still don't quite remember," he chuckled. "Besides, you hate dresses, why would I tell you to wear one?"

"Well then," Nation said as she stood up and stood a few steps towards him, "I guess it's a date."

"Really?!"

She giggled. "Yep."

"Fuck yeah!" he exclaimed and rushed towards the stairs, "Let's go!" He rushed up the stairs and she heard him shouting in excitement. "I'VE GOT A DATE WITH WAY! Fuck! I gotta call Ryan, oh he's gunna be stoked."

Nation covered her mouth, stifling a laugh.


	11. CHAPTER 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I APOLOGIZE FOR EVERYTHING THERE WAS ZER OEDITING HERE AND I WAS SO BEHIND ON UPDATING THIS ON HERE CAUSE I'VE BEEN UPDATING ON WATTPAD AS WELL AND KINDA JUST FORGOT ABOUT HERE I'M SORRY I'M AN IDIOT PLEASE POINT OUT EVERY LITTLE FUCKING SPELLING AND GRAMMAR ERROR IN THIS CHAPTER AS PUNISHMENT FOR MY SINS

Nation adjusted her shirt in the mirror, going over her appearance one more time.

She had taken the last hour to flat iron her hair and was thrilled to know that it had actually worked for once. She had gotten her hair cut a few weeks ago, it now being the stereotypical choppy haircut of most of her fans.

Her pale skin stood out against her curls, dark eyeliner and black dress shirt and pants. She adjusted the collar of her shirt once more, glad she had decided to ditch the tie, knowing she would have done nothing but fidget with it all night.

There was a quick knock on her door and she paused her music, stunned as to how she had heard the knock over Andy Biersack screaming through her speakers.

She grabbed her phone and wallet, stuffing them into the pockets of her pants before opening her bedroom to reveal Brendon.

His hair was combed, actually neat for once. He still wore his glasses, much to Nation's surprise. It made him look a little nerdy but she liked it. He wore slacks and dress shoes with a blue dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His black tie looked as if he had struggled to put it on.

In his hand was a single rose and Nation couldn't help but smile at the gesture as he held it out to her with a smile.

"You look beautiful as always," Brendon spoke, but it wasn't in his usual smooth nature. He seemed almost nervous.

She took the rose from his hands with a smile. "You don't look to bad yourself, Urie." He raised an eyebrow at the sound of his surname. "You referred to me as Way earlier, that was payback," She chuckled causing him to laugh.

He offered an arm. "Ready to go, m'lady," He spoke in a posh accent causing her to chuckle.

"Of course, monsieur," She smiled.

He led her down the stairs and out of the house, locking the door behind him before leading her out to his car. He had driven her all the way from Maryland, not wanting her to have to get on a plane for a bit. They got into his car before he swore.

"I'll be right back," he said before quickly exiting the car and heading back into the house. Nation sat confused. He emerged a moment later, pulling on a suit jacket. She rolled her eyes at his forgetfulness. He got back into the car, starting the engine. "Sorry, I'm an idiot when under pressure."

Looked at him curiously, "pressure?"

"First date. Literally, my whole job tonight is to impress you enough to get you to go on another date with me. Otherwise I'll spend tomorrow eating ice cream and watching reruns like the loser I will be if I fuck up tonight," he laughed as he pulled out of the driveway, heading down the street.

"In my house," She reminds him.

"Then I really shouldn't fuck up then," He laughed, glancing at her with a smile.

"So, where we going?"

"The moment I brought up taking you out your dad informed me of your favorite Italian restaurant, so I figured what the hell. Might as well," Brendon explained to her, keeping his eyes on the road. Nation smiled and laughed at that.

Nation leant forward and messed with his radio until it was on her desired station. She smiled and laughed. I Write Sins Not Tragedies began to play.

"Oh you're kidding me," Brendon laughed as their voice played through their speakers. He laughed Nation began to sing along to their own song, only voicing Brendon's part instead of her own. Brendon chuckled but joined in nonetheless, singing her part.

**

Brendon held the door to the small restaurant open for Nation and she smiled in thanks as she entered. Brendon followed after and couldn't help but chuckle as Nation was suddenly pulled into the arms of a muscular man.

"Ah, Michelle! It's so great to see you again!" He spoke in a thick New York accent. He was about 6ft and heavily tattooed, wearing slacks and a dress shirt.

"Hello, Mr. Watson," She smiled, pulling away. Watson looked over at Brendon.

"Ah yes, you must be Mr. Urie. Gerard told me about you on the phone!" He exclaimed and came over to shake the boy's hand. suddenly pulled into the arms of a muscular man.

The teenagers became confused, looking towards each other for help. Watson chuckled. "Gerard called ahead of time, asked me to save a table."

Nation hung her head in embarrassment. "Brilliant."

"Well," Brendon chuckled as he went back over to Nation, slipping his arm around her waist, "at least we know we're guaranteed a table." She shrugged though surprised by Brendon's actions.

"Follow me."

He showed them to the back of the sitting room; in the corner was a small booth that he usually sat Nation and Gerard at when they came. It was secluded and away from the windows, allowing them some peace.

Watson placed to menus down before smiling and leaving them in peace. He would come back in a few minutes to take their orders.

Nation and Brendon slid into the booth and chuckled, not having expected it to go like this.

"Well, that was interesting," Brendon chuckled as Nation hung her head.

"God, I hate my Dad sometimes," She said.

"Well, at least we got a table."

"Yeah, but I can't believe he called like that. He's so embarrassing sometimes," She laughed, using her hair to hide her burning face.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed," Brendon said smoothly.

She looked up, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I know."

They laughed.

"So, any recommendations?" Brendon asked as he opened his menu.

"Uh, I usually get the eggplant parmesan and I have sense I was ten so," She chuckled. "My dad usually gets some sort of lasagna. Everything is good here though, so it doesn't really matter what you get," She told him, not bothering to open her menu.

He smiled, "You really do come here often don't you?"

"Well, neither my Dad nor I can cook, so it's usually pizza, Chinese or we come here. That or we call Frank cos damn that man can cook. So, how do you like Jersey?" She asked curiously. Having grown up here and on a tour bus, Jersey had a special place in her heart and she knew Brendon had never been here but for brief moments on tour.

"We haven't left the house but to go to Josh and Tyler's," Brendon chuckled.

"Oh, yeah."

He shook his head, smiling. "I wonder what the guys are doing without us."

"Probably wondering why the dishes aren't getting washed."

"True. Ryan's probably thrilled he gets the room to himself," Brendon chuckles. "You know, we should get a new place when the lease is up. Maybe a house out in LA."

Nation's brow rose at the thought. "God, that's a move."

"Yeah, I know. The guys and I were talking about it last night and it felt kind of unfair to not tell you. Jon and Ryan were talking about getting a place together. Spence and I figured the three of us could get a place together. I mean, you were talking about getting emancipated from your dad so that the two of you don't have to worry about all the legal stuff anymore, so your name can be on the house with us and everything."

She nodded in agreement. "Sounds good to me."

"Good, because we were planning on looking at houses next week," Brendon chuckled.

She sighed, rolling her eyes as she laughed, "You're an idiot."

"I know."

Watson returned and quickly took their order before leaving them be once again.

"I hope you know there will be a whole room full of books due to me, right?"

"I know," he chuckled, "I've seen your room."

"So have I."

"I hope you have."

"It'd be strange if I hadn't."

"Very."

**

"You're fucking kidding me," Brendon swore as the engine wouldn't start. "Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Ugh, at least the piece of shit would start." Nation chuckled at him. He leaned over, opening the glove box and pulling out a flashlight before exiting the car, going around to the front. He propped the hood open as Nation got out of the car.

"Do you know anything about cars?" Nation asked as he shined the flashlight on the engine.

"A bit," he replied, "Matt taught me a few things. He's a mechanic."

"So, mister fake mechanic, what's wrong?"

"No idea," he said before looking at the belt and rolling his eyes. "Fuck. Belt fell off. Don't even want to know how."

"Can you fix it?"

"Yeah, no. I should probably call a tow truck," He sighed before closing the hood and pulling out his phone.

"Brilliant," Nation sighed as she hopped up onto the hood, Brendon copying her actions. "Could we see if someone inside could help?"

Brendon shook his head, "There was like no one in there and I'm pretty sure they don't have the tools with them."

He quickly looked up the closest tow company before dialing the number, quickly making the call. He hung up a few minutes later and sighed, lying back on the car as Nation copied his actions. He wrapped an arm around the girl.

"What are the odds?"

"What?"

"I don't know."

"I should probably be calling a cab," Brendon sighed.

Nation shrugged. "We can just walk. It's not too far. Only like two miles."

"Uh, that's a hike. And you're wearing heels," he reminded her. "Like fucking hell woman."

She rolled her eyes. "Brendon, I can sprint in heels. It's a part of being me."

He shook his head. "Points to you then."

**

"Honestly, I will carry you if you want," Brendon told her as they walked down the street, hand in hand.

She shook her head. "Yeah no." She flinched as she felt a rain drop on her face. Nation looked up at the cloudy sky as it slowly began to sprinkle, a slight breeze blowing. She shivered. "Fuck you."

Brendon shook his head with a laugh, letting go of her hand. She looked up at him and blushed as he shrugged of his jacket before draping it around her shoulders. She slipped her arms into the sleeves and laughed when the sleeves were about six inches to long for her. She rolled up the sleeves before reaching out to take Brendon's hand once again. They walked in silence, swinging their hands slightly.

They both flinched as a camera suddenly flashed.

Nation's eyes widen as she turned her head to face the other side of the street, quickly noticing a photographers.

"Fuck," Brendon said as he pulled Nation close to him. She buried her head in his chest, trying to hide her face. "What do we do?"

"Call Tyler," She spoke quickly. "He lives like two minutes away." He nodded before pulling out his phone, quickly dialing his phone.

A few more photographers pulled up. How did they even know they were here?

"Hey, Brendon!" One of them called, "Who's your girl?!"

Nation took deep breaths and closed her eyes as she tried to calm herself. She promptly stuck out her hand, flipping the bird.

"Hey, Tyler, can you come pick us up? We're in a bit of a trouble...pops...yes that's a real thing. Now, please... uh we're on... Gerard Way, wow, that's ironic." Nation chuckled, knowing how found Gerard is of the road because they share the same name.

The pops suddenly crossed the street, coming closer to the couple.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening. Nope, I'm dreaming," Nation flinched at the flashes. "Okay, it's just a very vivid nightmare."

Brendon pulled her closer and kept walking, keeping a look out for Tyler.

"Brendon, who's the girl?!"

"Are you dating?!"

"What's your name, miss?!"

Brendon noticed as Nation began to tremble. He looked down to see tears welding in her eyes as she kept muttering to herself.

"Come on, Tyler," Brendon muttered as he rubbed Nation's arm, "hurry up."

He sighed in relief as Tyler pulled up next to them. Brendon pushed past the photographers, pulling Nation with him. He opened the door as let Nation quickly climb in before Brendon turned around to face the paparazzi.

He sneered at the assholes. "Hope you're happy with yourself, you ruined my date."

And with that he climbed into the car, slamming the door shut. Tyler pulled away as fast as he could. Nation let out a sigh of relief, leaning her head on Brendon's shoulder.

"You guys okay?" Tyler asked, glancing back at them.

"Yeah," Nation nodded. "Thanks, Tyler. You're the best."

"Don't thank me. They were a bunch of assholes. They need new lives," He joked causing Nation to chuckle herself. "Want to head to mine or would you rather get dropped off at home?"

Nation looked up at Brendon for an answer, unsure of what he wanted to do.

"Home, please. I think we've had enough fun for tonight." Tyler nodded understandingly before turning the corner towards Nation's.

**

Brendon closed the front door behind him, watching as Nation kicked off her heels before heading up the stairs. He bolted the door before quickly following after her.

He grabbed her hand, stopping her before she could enter her room. She turned around, looking up at him with a surprised look. He sighed, placing his hands on her hips as he looked down at her with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "You did nothing wrong."

"Yeah, but if my car hadn't fucked up then they would have never seen us," Brendon told her.

"Shush. You didn't do anything. And besides, I had a good time. That certainly did not ruin our date," She gave him a bright smile, causing him to grin. "And I'd be thrilled if we went out again sometime."

"Brilliant. How about a movie? Downstairs in like twenty minutes sound good to you?" He asked

"Sounds good to me. See you then," She winked, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his lips before disappearing into her bedroom.

Brendon stood there for a moment, a smile on his face before hurrying off to the guest bedroom to change.

**

Gerard pushed open the front door of the house, dropping his bag on the floor in the entryway as Frank copied his actions. It was about ten in the morning and they both had intentions of going to bed in a minute.

Gerard took notice of Nation's heels tossed carelessly near the door. He pointed them out to his fiancé.

"She wore heels for him. Damn," Frank chuckled. "You think he's staying here?"

"Probably," Gee said as he headed towards the kitchen to get a drink. He paused and looked into the living room, smiling at the sight before him. "Yes."

"What?" Frank looked into the living room and chuckled.

The two teens were asleep on the couch under a mound of blankets. Nation was curled up in Brendon's arms with her head resting on his chest. They both looked so peaceful. Gerard went and turned off the TV, it seems they feel asleep in the middle of watching Harry Potter.

Frank picked up a pillow from off the recliner before going over and wacked them both in the face. They both awoke, startled.

"Frank!" Gerard exclaimed. Frank laughed and tossed the pillow back where he found it.

"Rise and shine motherfuckers," Frank laughed as the two teenagers glared at him. Nation perked up when she saw her father. She removed herself from Brendon's arms before getting up and sliding across the hardwood floor in her socks, running into him.

Gerard chuckled as he wrapped his arms around his daughter. "Hello to you, too."

"Hi," She said in a childish voice, looking up at him with a smile. "Have fun on tour?"

"Yup. You?"

"Yup," Nation said before moving form Gerard to Frank. Frank laughed as he picked her up, spinning her around as Brendon stood up to greet Gerard and Frank. "Hiya, Frankie. Care to cook this fine morning?"

"You gunna help?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Not at all," She smiled, "But Brendon will."

"I'll do what now?" Brendon asked as both he and Gerard looked at Frank and Nation.

Nation grinned. "Cook breakfast." Brendon shrugged.

"I kind of want pancakes," Gerard states and Frank snorts.

"Yeah, you can cook then," Frank told him as the two of them went towards the kitchen, leaving Brendon and Nation alone. Brendon went over to Nation, leaning down to plant a kiss on top her head.

"Morning," He smiled down at her.

She looked up with a grin. "Morning. You gunna go cook?"

"Do I have to?" He whined.

"Frank can't make decent pancakes and neither my father nor I can cook, leaving it up to you to keep my dad from complaining about not getting pancakes today."

"I'm on it."

**

Brendon and Nation both tossed their duffle bags into the back of Brendon's now fixed car. In the back seat of the car were two boxes, one contained a box of Nation's favorite albums from her large collection and the other containing her favorite novels and comic books.

"So, ready for almost 42 hours stuck in a car with me?" Brendon asked with a laugh.

"It'll be more than that. We'll have to stop to eat and piss and shit. Besides, I'm sleeping until it's your turn to drive," She chuckled.

They were both dressed in sweatpants and hoodies, ready for the long drive. The air was crisp and looked into the living room, smilnig d intentions of watching tv. , the sky dark. They'd get to see the sun rise as they drove. Neither teenager was thrilled to wake up at four in the morning, but they had agreed to get an early start.

"At least we have more CDs this trip," Brendon joked, referring to their shows at the Collins, when they had all of three albums to listen to for three weeks straight. Nation nodded in agreement.

They were about to get into the car when Frank came out of the house. Nation raised her eyebrows. He looked like he had just woken up.

He yawned. "I was gunna wake up Gee, too. But, he wouldn't move." Nation and Brendon laughed. "Bye, guys," he said and went and hugged the both of them, pressing a kiss to Nation's cheek. "Drive save, use a condom and let me know when you get to Cali." Nation took a double-take at his words as Brendon awkwardly chuckled, pink just brushing his cheeks. Frank laughed at their reactions, "I'm just kidding. But, if you touch her I will cut your dick off."

Brendon's eyes widen at the threat, knowing that the tiny man would follow through with it. "Yes, sir."

Frank smiled. "Alrighty. Bye you two, tell the guys I said hello. Apologies for the phone call you might receive when your father wakes up."

"Ha, that'll be your problem first."

"Fuck," Frank groaned.

"Bye, Frank."

"Bye, Dad," Nation bid farewell before climbing in as well.

Brendon started the car and pulled out of the driveway and only a few seconds later, Nation's phone was ringing. She pulled it out of her pockets and rolled her eyes when she saw it was Frank.

"Literally, it's been two seconds. Fucking chill," She said as she answered the phone.

"You just called me Dad."

"Congratulations, you have ears."

Silence.

Nation got worried. "Is that not okay?"

"No, no, no, it's fine. Great even," Frank spoke excitedly. "I was just shocked that's all. Wait 'til I tell Gee. He'll be thrilled."

"What? The fact that I call both my father and father figure 'Dad' or the fact that he's not the only one calling you daddy," She smirked as the silence returned.

"Wh-what the hell are you talking about?" Frank stumbled over his words, trying to play dumb.

Nation rolled her eyes as Brendon stifled a laugh. "Dad, the whole block knows you've got a daddy kink. Dad's loud, both of you."

"Fuck."

"Quite literally."

**

Brendon pulled into the driveway of a two story house. It was nicer than Nation imagined. "Holy fuck. This is theirs?" She was shell shocked; surprised her two friends had chosen something so fancy.

"Didn't I show you picture of the house we're looking at a few days ago?"

"Well, yeah, but you and Spencer usually have better taste in these kind of things. I wasn't expecting," She flapped her hands about as she paused, "this."

Brendon laughed as they both got out of the car, heading towards the trunk. They both pulled out their duffle bags and headed towards the door. Nation rang the doorbell.

Ryan grinned as he opened the door to let them inside. "Welcome to the Ross Mansion."

"Hey!" Jon called as he came around the corner. "It's my house too!"

"Hey makes a fair point," Nation spoke. Ryan shrugged.

"Your room is just upstairs," Ryan said gesturing to the steps behind him. "Third room on the right. We got lucky, the place came fully furnished. I'm painting my room though, yellow is not a nice color."

"What'd yellow ever do to you?" Nation asked as she made her way towards the stairs.

"Nothing," he looked at Brendon, "you not going with her or?"

"You only told her where he room was," Brendon said confused as Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Share the damn bed."

Brendon held up his hands in fake defense before hurrying up the stairs nsion." r door bell.

car, heading towards the trunk. They both pulled out their duffle bags and headed toafter his girlfriend.

Nation pushed open the bedroom door and tossed her bag in the corner before collapsing on the queen size bed. Brendon copied her actions, landing on top of her.

"Ow."

"Sorry," He apologized before quickly rolling off of her. "This is okay right? I can sleep on the floor if you want me to."

Nation chuckled, shaking her head. "Chill, Breny. I'm not gunna freak out over it, if that's what you think and I trust you enough to know you won't try anything."

Brendon let out a laugh as he rolled back over, hovering over the girl. "Oh really now?" He smiled before leaning down to press his lips against hers.

"Yes, really," She giggled as he pulled away.

"You're actually going to trust me? That's a mistake."

"Oh, shut up and kiss me," She said as she pulled him back down. They heard the click of a camera phone and jumped apart.

They heard Jon's laughter. "Oh, that is so going on twitter. Oh, better yet, I should send it to your parents."

"Like they'll care?"

"Welp, there goes Brendon's dick."

"Oh, fuck."

"There will be know fucking where you're going my friend."

Brendon groaned. "I'm screwed."

"That'd be impossible."

He smiled, shaking his head, "shut up."

"Make me."

"Okay." He lent down and pressed his lips to hers once again.

"THERE WILL BE NO MAKING OUT IN MY HOUSE!" Jon shouted as he disappeared down the hallway.

Brendon and Nation heard Ryan shout from somewhere else in the house. "THERE ARE CONDOMS IN THE NIGHTSTAND!"

The two became curious at that. Brendon leaned over and opened the drawer of the nightstand. There sat a single note written in Ryan's hand writing.

You thought. There shall be no sex in the Ross Mansion unless I am the one having it. I'm not being an uncle anytime soon. So yeah, no condom no fucking. –Ryan

There was another note beside it.

Neither do I. There r condoms in my room. –Jon

Don't tell them that. Then they'll fuck –Ryan

Well do you want nieces or nephews? –Jon

NO –Ryan

Brendon there r condoms in my room –Jon

No babies allowed –Ryan

What r we even doing –Jon

Do I look like I know? –Ryan

Ryan, we've been writing back and forth on this paper for the last week... -Jon

Oh yeah... -Ryan

Brendon and Nation couldn't help but laugh as they read their friends conversation.

"HEY FUCKERS I HAVE ARRIVED!" They heard Spencer shout from downstairs after the front door opened and closed shut.

"HEY FUCKER WATCH YOU LANGUAGE!" Nation shouted back causing Brendon to die with laughter.

"OH SHIT I'm SORRY, BITCH!"

"BETTER NOT FUCKING HAPPEN AGAIN, ASSHAT!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have retuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrnnnnnnedddddd!!!! Are you excited? No? Okay then....

“Wow,” Nation marvel as she walked through the large foyer. The spiral staircase led up to the second floor where there were five bedrooms. She was tempted to slip off her shoes and slide across the hardwood floors in her socks. The kitchen, dining and living room where already furnished, the last owners not wanting the furniture anymore.  
Spencer looked around with a bright smile on his face. He could already see himself living here.  
Brendon couldn’t help but smile at Nation’s excitement. He turned towards the realtor.  
“When can we sign?”  
Nation and Spencer spun on their heels at the sound of his voice, grins on their faces.  
“When can you sign?” She asked him.  
Brendon pulled a pen out of his pocket. “Right now.”  
She smiled and led him into the dining room, fulling out sheets from her folder. Spencer shook his head and laughed.  
“We’ve got a house, a real house. Well, you and Brendon have a house, I just pay bills and live here,” He corrected himself with a shrug.  
Nation’s eyes widen. “Oh fuck, I’ve gotta go sign papers and shit. I’m an adult as of last week. Oh that’s scary,” She mumbled as she headed off towards the dining room.

**

“Why the fuck do you own so many books,” Ryan grunted as he helped move boxes out of the moving truck and into the house.  
“Cause I can afford to read,” Nation replied before picking up one of the lighter, more fragile boxes labeled ‘Kitchen Shit.’ She tried to convince Ryan to take it because he bought all of it for the apartment, but he seemed keen on letting them have it.  
Gerard wiped sweat from his brow as he walked out of the house. “No shit. Half your room was bookshelves.”  
Nation shrugged, “Well, there is now a whole room dedicated to all of my books. You never have to see them again.”  
“Seriously though.” Frank inquired as he picked up yet another box full of books, “how many of these have you read?”  
“All of them,” She and her father replied. Frank raised an eyebrow. Jon and Spencer looked at each other, slightly concerned.  
“You’re kidding me right?’  
“Nope,” She said popping the ‘p’ as she did so. “Frank, every time we took a break while on tour I brought a shit ton of books to keep me occupied. Look at it this way, it could have been porn.”  
He chuckled. “I would have preferred it to be, actually. At least then we could share.”  
“Yeah,” Gerard said. “No.”  
Spencer came out and grabbed another box of his shit out of his SUV. “Look at it this way. Maybe Brendon and I will actually pick up a book.”  
Brendon snorted. “Like I’d read.”  
“You’re reading the Lord of the Rings and you have no option in the matter.”  
“I’ve got a better idea,” Brendon replied, “how about you read them out loud to me, so that I can say I’ve read them and you can read them again, and do It with funny little voices this time.”  
“That… actually doesn’t sound like a bad idea. We can torture Spencer while we’re at it.”  
“I’ve already read the Lord of the Rings. You don’t have to. The Hobbit was good too.”  
“I knew there was a reason Spencer’s my favorite,” Nation announced.  
“I thought I was your favorite,” Came about five different replies.  
Spencer smiled and laughed. “I knew I was the real favorite.”

**

“Guys, are we ever going to get back in the studio?” Nation asked one afternoon over dinner with the guys. Brendon had invited Ryan and Jon over for dinner that night and had made stir fry for everyone.  
“I think we should soon. Maybe after Christmas,” Jon suggested, looking across the table at her.  
Ryan spoke from where he was next to her. “I’ve got a few things written, and I’m sure you do too,” he said gesturing to Nation and Brendon. They both nodded.  
Spencer sat across from Spencer and Brendon sat at the head of the table. He was the self-proclaimed king.  
“Oh, by the way, Nation, I’m taking you out to dinner tomorrow night,” Brendon told her. The guys as smirked at each other looking towards Nation with grins on their faces. Nation looked at them oddly before opening her mouth to speak. Brendon cut her off. “No, you don’t have to wear anything special.”  
She raised an eyebrow, “What? Wanna get one last date in before we fly off to Jersey for the week?” She asked with a slight laugh. Brendon smiled, his eyes drifting downward as he nodded. “Dork,” She turned towards the rest of the guys. “You guys remember we’re celebrating tonight right?”  
Jon rolled his eyes, “Brendon’s exact words were, ‘you’re coming over for early Christmas. Don’t forget presents otherwise they’ll be Christmas in the middle of January.’ Yes, we remembered,” He chuckled as Nation playfully rolled her eyes.  
“Brendon,” Spencer said, “this is a great Christmas dinner. I love the way the stir fry reminds me of a turkey.” Ryan snorted as Brendon shot a glare across the table at the drummer. Nation let out a giggle, quickly placing her hand over her mouth to stifle it.  
“I was going to make one but then I realized Nation wouldn’t have anything to eat. If you hadn’t realized this is actually vegetarian.”  
Nation smiled at that. She watched as both Spencer and Jon stared down at the food in amazement.  
“How the hell didn’t I notice that?” Jon asked, bewildered.  
“Cause you’re a dumbass.”  
“What she said,” Ryan replied before taking a bite out of the food.  
Spencer continued staring down at his plate in shock. “I didn’t know vegetarian food could taste so good.”  
“Thanks,” Brendon grinned.  
“I didn’t even know Brendon could make edible food,” Ryan shrugged.  
Nation laughed as Brendon shot glares at all of them.

**

Nation and Brendon walked hand in hand down the streets of LA. Brendon had taken her to the park for a picnic and the closest park had just been a few blocks away. The park had been deserted apart from a young couple who had snuck out of their house late at night to meet up. The girl had recognized Brendon causing the boy to become mildly confused.  
Her eyes had settled on Nation, her brow furrowed before her eyes widen. “You must be Sarah!” Nation’s brow furrowed and she looked up at Brendon. “Oh, sorry. You must not know. The fans have decided to call you Sarah until you made your relationship a bit more public.”  
“Oh,” Nation chuckled. “Sarah’s a nice name. Might have to use that one day.”  
“Good name for a kid,” Brendon said thoughtfully, a smirk on her face as he looked at the look on Nation’s face.  
“I’m fucking sixteen, you can wait.”  
“And I’m eighteen and patiently waiting to get some. I can definitely wait.”  
She had rolled her eyes.  
The two continued to walk down the dim streets until Nation finally broke the silence.  
“Do you want kids?” She asked.  
Brendon shrugged. “One day, maybe. After we’ve finally settled down. Just the two of us.”  
Nation couldn’t help but smile as he spoke. Over the last few weeks, whenever they had spoken about the future instead of using ‘if’ he spoke as if they’d be together forever. The thought made Nation want to jump with joy, but it also terrified her. She still felt as if she were twelve and should be more worried about when the hell she was going to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows than paying bills. When did her childhood end? When did her adulthood begin? When will she read the Deathly Hallows?  
“Nation, Nation,” Brendon spoke trying to get her attention. She shook her head out of her thoughts.  
“Sorry. Just thinking.”  
“Might want to stop that for a bit and appreciate the fact that we live a block away and that you’re wearing tennis shoes.”  
“Why,” She stopped short as she saw a flash light. “Yeah, okay. Running.”  
Their grip on each other tightened as they quickly took off down the street.

**

Nation’s grip on Brendon’s hand tightened as the plane finally landed. “Why do I keep letting you drag me onto planes?” Her voice came out shaky.  
“Because it’s faster to fly than drive. And you’re more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash. You know that right?” Brendon told her. She glared at him. “Okay. Note to self: you’ve done way to much research on planes.” The raven haired girl nodded rapidly. 

**

“Dads!” Nation said excitedly as she rushed to her fathers, leaving Brendon to deal with their suitcase. She had been pulling it before but it seemed her parents were far more important. Brendon rolled his eyes with a smile as he grabbed hold of the handle and followed after his girlfriend.  
“Hey, Nation,” Gerard laughed as she tackled both him and his fiancé.  
“Hiya, Shortie,” Frank grinned. She pulled away before rolling her eyes. She leant up and kissed his cheek.  
“Hello to you to, Dad.” She pecked Gerard’s cheek. “Hi, Daddy.”  
“So, two Dads now. That’s not confusing,” Brendon chuckled as he came up behind Nation. “Endless dad jokes. Aren’t you glad you moved out? Hi, Mr. Ways.” He shook both their hands.  
“Not married yet, but I’ll take it,” Frank chuckled.  
Gerard smiled down at him. “Might as well get used to it. You’ll be Frank Way soon enough. Oh, wait, Nation, here’s your coffee.”  
Nation’s eyes widened as she quickly took the coffee from him. They began to make their way out of the airport.  
“You decide when you’re gunna have the wedding?” Brendon asked curiously.  
“May, I think. It’ll be spring and all that shit. Won’t have to worry about freezing our asses off.” Frank said. “Outdoors would be nice actually.”  
Gerard raised an eyebrow. “And if it rains? Isn’t that bad luck?”  
“Gee, we’re made of bad luck. Besides, the wedding photos would look fucking great if we’re drenched,” Frank said with a far of look in his eyes.  
“Uh, yeah, I’m not standing out in the pouring ass rain in a dress. It’s not gunna happen, Dad. Keep dreaming.”  
“Oh, by the way,” Gerard said looking down at his daughter, “You’re maid of honor. Have fun with your speech.”  
“Who’s best man?”  
“On who’s side?” Frank asked.  
“What?”  
“We’re gay as fuck so the wedding party isn’t gunna be gender biased and we literally have like ten friends. You’re maid of honor and Mikey’s best man and that’s literally the whole wedding party.”  
“What about flower girl and ring bearer?” Nation asked.  
“Oh fuck,” Gerard swore under his breath as Frank chuckled.  
“So, I could totally convince Tyler and Josh to do it and make this the funniest wedding anyone has ever attended,” Nation smirked, “Josh would put on a dress and everything.”  
“Oh that’d be brilliant,” Frank said excitedly.  
“I’ll ask them tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind me spending Christmas Eve with the Joseph’s.”  
“Aren’t they like really religious,” Brendon asked.  
She nodded. “Yeah. But, it doesn’t matter. Ty, Josh and I are gunna exchange gifts then.”  
“What about me?”  
“You get me on Christmas, what are you complaining about?”  
“Oh yeah.”

**

“Alright, Nation you’re in your old room, Brendon you’re in the guest bedroom.” Gerard said as they entered the house. Nation and Brendon stopped and looked at each other before looking at Gerard.  
“Gee, you do realize they’re sharing a room in their house right?” Frank asked his fiancé with a concerned look.  
“Oh god…”  
“Okay then,” Nation said as she took Brendon’s hand and slowly began to drag him towards him towards the stairs. “We’re gunna go throw our shit in our room and get settled. I’m assuming Frank’s making dinner and if not we might go to Josh’s.”  
“I’m cooking. So, don’t go anywhere. You can invite Josh and Tyler if you want,” Frank told them. They nodded before heading up the stairs. They opened the door to Nation’s old bedroom. The caution tape was still taped on the door but the room had almost lost its sense of home. No more books, no more figurines, no drawings littering the floor, only empty bookshelves and the bed in the corner of the room.  
Nation took a deep breath as Brendon set down their suitcase in the corner of the room before coming up from behind her where she stood in the middle of the room. He wrapped his arms around her waist and resting his chin on top her head.  
“Weird?”  
“You have no idea.”  
“No, I do. When we on tour without you, we drove through Nevada and I visited my family. My room was completely empty. Everything was gone except the bedframe. No posters, no playboys. It wasn’t home anymore. Just… a room.”  
“Thing is, this still is home. I walk around and feel like I never left but-“  
“But this room feels like a foreign land?” She nodded. “You could always sleep on the couch.”  
“Yeah no,” She chuckled. “This bed’s comfy as fuck.”  
“True.”  
“How would you know you’ve never, oh wait never mind.”

**

 

The doorbell rang and the Way’s and Urie just looked towards the doorway. Frank popped his head into the lounge to see none of them had bothered to move before rolling his eyes and going towards the door. He didn’t bother looking through the peep hole and instead just opened the door before walking away, allowing Josh and Tyler into the house.  
“Hi, Frank,” they greeted, shutting the door behind them.  
“Hey, guys. They’re in the lounge. I’m cooking.”  
Josh grinned. “Finally, a Way that can cook.”  
Frank just smiled before walking away. Tyler and Josh made their way into the lounge, collapsing on either side of Nation, before they each held out a single gift.  
She raised her brow. “Thought we agreed Christmas Eve?”  
“Yeah well, I’m impatient and Josh can’t make it anymore because his sister is now coming back in town for Christmas Eve.” Tyler explained. Nation chuckled before standing up.  
“Give me a second, I’ll get yours.” And with that she hurried away.  
“Hey, guys,” Gerard said getting their attention. “You want to be in Frank and I’s wedding?”  
“Only if I can be the flower girl,” Josh said. “Dress and all.”  
Gerard laughed. “That was actually Nation’s idea. We had the sudden realization that we needed a flower girl, well boy now and a ring bearer and we probably aren’t even allowed near small children.”  
“When is it?” Tyler questioned excitedly.  
“Sometime in May. Don’t worry. It’s gunna be small. Well, small being our immediate family, Ray, Bob, Fall Out Boy, Panic!,’ he said nodding towards Brendon who grinned, “and Green Day. Cause those motherfuckers are great.”  
“Someone say Green Day?” Nation asked as she came into the room holding two small boxes, one labeled with a T the other a J.  
“We’re gunna invite them to the wedding,” Gerard said.  
“Really? God, feels like forever since we’ve seen them. Kinda miss Billie yelling about how America is going to shit.”  
“At least Donald Trump isn’t President,” Tyler shrugged.  
“True.”  
Nation sat back between the two boys and went to hand them their gifts before realizing she was handing them the wrong ones and crossed her arms to give them the right ones. They chuckled before taking the gifts from and opening them.  
“You said not to get anything fancy so I figured something meaningful would be good,” She said as they both pulled out friendship bracelets that we almost identical. They were both white but Tyler’s had a string of blue going through his whilst Josh had a string of red. Nation held out her left wrist to show where she was wearing a matching one. Hers had a line of black going through it. “Figured I’d go cliché.”  
“Well,” Tyler said, “Are you gunna help me tie it?”  
She smiled and took it from him and tied it to his wrist before helping Josh.  
“I hope you know I will never take this off and will get highly offended if either of you ever take yours off,” Josh said.  
“I know,” Nation said, “Why do you think I made it so you can’t take it off once it’s on without breaking it.”  
The guys chuckled.

**

A few weeks later

“Wait, I’ve got an idea,” Nation said as she pulled out a notepad and began to write. Brendon leaned over her shoulder and chuckled.  
“You’re kidding me.”  
“Nope,” Nation chuckled.  
“That’s genius.”  
“I know.”  
Ryan leaned over her should and looked at the paper before chuckling. He picked up his guitar and began to play as he sang the first verse. “Oh, how it's been so long, We're so sorry we've been gone, We were busy writing songs for you.”  
Jon looked over at the lyrics as Ryan sang. “What if all five of us sing it?”  
“Why?”  
“Cause why the hell not,” Nation grinned. “The chorus will go the same way as the melody and the songs gunna be like a minute and a half. It’ll be nothing special but funny as hell and a great way to apologize to our fans for not being on tour the last six months at the start of shows.”  
“We still haven’t picked an album title,” Spencer reminded the band, “The whole albums pretty odd so it’s not like anything stands out.”  
Nation’s head snapped up. “That’s it.”  
“What?”  
“Pretty Odd. That’s the name.”  
“Oh shit that’s good.”

**

“When was last time you showered,” Nation asked after she had walked past Brendon and messed up his hair.  
“When was the last time you showered?” He asked.  
“Uh, New Orleans, cause that was the last time there was one,” She told him. He gave her a look. “Oh yeah. I’ll shut up then. But,” She picked up a spray bottle and tossed it to him. “Dry shampoo. Helps a bit.”  
He looked at it before he shrugged and spraying it in his hair, running a hand through it.  
“Better?”  
“Yes actually.” He replied before setting the bottle on the table in front of him. “You know where we are next?”  
“Uh, I think we’re on our way to Dallas. We’ll check into the hotel and then head over to a radio station for an interview followed by an acoustic show. So, we will get to shower beforehand.”  
Ryan came into the lounge of the bus and collapsed next to Brendon. “Am I the only person that suddenly feels human again after not showering for a while.”  
“It’s literally my entire life, Ryro. I understand,” Nation chuckled as she grabbed the can of Pringles. “Nothing beats the feeling of showering after a month of living on a dirty bus. Like seriously, one of us has to learn to clean before we drown in our own filth. It’s only been a month of touring so far.”  
“She makes a fair point,” Spencer said as he stepped over a pile of dirty cloths. “Someone also needs to learn how to do laundry.”  
“Oh, Nation’s good at that,” Brendon chuckled and she shot a glare at him. He knew how she and My Chemical Romance seemed to think spraying it with Febreze fixed everything.  
“Fight me, Urie.”  
“Been there, done that. Already won.”  
She rolled her eyes as she went over to the couch and collapsed next to him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.  
“Dude when am I gunna get that?” Ryan asked as he looked at the two of them.  
“I’ve got two arms you know,” Brendon chuckled as he patted the seat next to him. Ryan rolled his eyes.  
“Yeah, no.”

**

“Please welcome, Panic! at the Disco!” The interviewer announced. They all smiled and waved as they made their way onto the small stage, the small audience cheering for them. They all shook the man’s hand before sitting on the large couch. “Welcome to Dallas. I heard you guys, well guys and girl, haven’t been here long yet.”  
“Yeah,” Brendon nodded. “We got into the city like three hours ago and checked into the hotel. Nation plowed through all of us to get to the shower first.”  
“We haven’t seen a shower in two weeks I was dying,” Nation chuckled.  
“So were we,” Spencer laughed and she shrugged.  
“I am the only female here. I deserve some perks,” She claimed.  
The interviewer spoke up. “What’s that like then, being the only girl in the band? I’m sure you’re used to it having toured with My Chemical Romance so much growing up.”  
Nation shrugged. “Nothing’s really changed except the fact that I could make out with any of them and it not be incest or pedophilia.”  
The interviewer seemed taken aback from her answer. He cleared his throat, quickly changing the subject as Nation smirked at his expression. “Brendon, it’s been the talk of the music scene for the last few months. You ever gunna tell us who this mysterious Sarah is?”  
“She’s my girlfriend and that’s all you’re gunna get out of it. Well, that and her name is far from Sarah,” Brendon replied.  
“Really?” Nation asked with raised eyebrows as she turned her head to look at Brendon. “I’m pretty sure she’s okay with you saying more,” She chuckled. The guys all bit their lips as they tried not to laugh.  
Brendon smiled and laughed. “Well,” He she said looking at Nation, “She’s really smart and has the most incredible family in the world, not to mention her friends. She’s shit at laundry and has a better voice than anyone else I know. She’s more creative than most people and I don’t mind the fact that she’s the prettiest girl on the face of the earth.”  
The audience awed at words and Nation was thankful that her veil hid her red face.  
She and Brendon hadn’t exactly spoken about whether they were going to tell the public about their relationship but Nation didn’t mind.  
“Anything else?” Nation asked, managing to keep her cool as she spoke.  
“Oh yeah,” he chuckled as he scooted closer to Nation. “And she’s right next to me.”  
He lifted her veil just enough to press his lips to hers. Ryan stood up and placed himself in front of the two love birds.  
“I apologize for Brendon’s inability to keep his hands off his girlfriend,” he laughed before sitting back down.  
Nation smiled and laughed, turning to hide her face in Brendon’s shoulder, though it’s not like they could see it anyway.  
“Well, that seemed to have shocked everyone,” The interviewer chuckled. “You two might just end up Hollywood’s hottest couple. Urie and Way, who would have known?”  
“I hate you so much right,” Nation laughed as she looked up at Brendon.  
“I love you too,” He grinned before a thoughtful look came across his face.  
“Whatever you’re thinking,” Nation said, “No.”  
“Later then,” he smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the chapter! Don't be afraid to comment. I love to hear all of your thoughts about this!


	13. Chapter 13

A few weeks later

“Wait, I’ve got an idea,” Nation said as she pulled out a notepad and began to write. Brendon leaned over her shoulder and chuckled.  
“You’re kidding me.”  
“Nope,” Nation chuckled.  
“That’s genius.”  
“I know.”  
Ryan leaned over her should and looked at the paper before chuckling. He picked up his guitar and began to play as he sang the first verse. “Oh, how it's been so long, We're so sorry we've been gone, We were busy writing songs for you.”  
Jon looked over at the lyrics as Ryan sang. “What if all five of us sing it?”  
“Why?”  
“Cause why the hell not,” Nation grinned. “The chorus will go the same way as the melody and the songs gunna be like a minute and a half. It’ll be nothing special but funny as hell and a great way to apologize to our fans for not being on tour the last six months at the start of shows.”  
“We still haven’t picked an album title,” Spencer reminded the band, “The whole albums pretty odd so it’s not like anything stands out.”  
Nation’s head snapped up. “That’s it.”  
“What?”  
“Pretty Odd. That’s the name.”  
“Oh shit that’s good.”

**

“When was last time you showered,” Nation asked after she had walked past Brendon and messed up his hair.  
“When was the last time you showered?” He asked.  
“Uh, New Orleans, cause that was the last time there was one,” She told him. He gave her a look. “Oh yeah. I’ll shut up then. But,” She picked up a spray bottle and tossed it to him. “Dry shampoo. Helps a bit.”  
He looked at it before he shrugged and spraying it in his hair, running a hand through it.  
“Better?”  
“Yes actually.” He replied before setting the bottle on the table in front of him. “You know where we are next?”  
“Uh, I think we’re on our way to Dallas. We’ll check into the hotel and then head over to a radio station for an interview followed by an acoustic show. So, we will get to shower beforehand.”  
Ryan came into the lounge of the bus and collapsed next to Brendon. “Am I the only person that suddenly feels human again after not showering for a while.”  
“It’s literally my entire life, Ryro. I understand,” Nation chuckled as she grabbed the can of Pringles. “Nothing beats the feeling of showering after a month of living on a dirty bus. Like seriously, one of us has to learn to clean before we drown in our own filth. It’s only been a month of touring so far.”  
“She makes a fair point,” Spencer said as he stepped over a pile of dirty cloths. “Someone also needs to learn how to do laundry.”  
“Oh, Nation’s good at that,” Brendon chuckled and she shot a glare at him. He knew how she and My Chemical Romance seemed to think spraying it with Febreze fixed everything.  
“Fight me, Urie.”  
“Been there, done that. Already won.”  
She rolled her eyes as she went over to the couch and collapsed next to him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.  
“Dude when am I gunna get that?” Ryan asked as he looked at the two of them.  
“I’ve got two arms you know,” Brendon chuckled as he patted the seat next to him. Ryan rolled his eyes.  
“Yeah, no.”

**

“Please welcome, Panic! at the Disco!” The interviewer announced. They all smiled and waved as they made their way onto the small stage, the small audience cheering for them. They all shook the man’s hand before sitting on the large couch. “Welcome to Dallas. I heard you guys, well guys and girl, haven’t been here long yet.”  
“Yeah,” Brendon nodded. “We got into the city like three hours ago and checked into the hotel. Nation plowed through all of us to get to the shower first.”  
“We haven’t seen a shower in two weeks I was dying,” Nation chuckled.  
“So were we,” Spencer laughed and she shrugged.  
“I am the only female here. I deserve some perks,” She claimed.  
The interviewer spoke up. “What’s that like then, being the only girl in the band? I’m sure you’re used to it having toured with My Chemical Romance so much growing up.”  
Nation shrugged. “Nothing’s really changed except the fact that I could make out with any of them and it not be incest or pedophilia.”  
The interviewer seemed taken aback from her answer. He cleared his throat, quickly changing the subject as Nation smirked at his expression. “Brendon, it’s been the talk of the music scene for the last few months. You ever gunna tell us who this mysterious Sarah is?”  
“She’s my girlfriend and that’s all you’re gunna get out of it. Well, that and her name is far from Sarah,” Brendon replied.  
“Really?” Nation asked with raised eyebrows as she turned her head to look at Brendon. “I’m pretty sure she’s okay with you saying more,” She chuckled. The guys all bit their lips as they tried not to laugh.  
Brendon smiled and laughed. “Well,” He she said looking at Nation, “She’s really smart and has the most incredible family in the world, not to mention her friends. She’s shit at laundry and has a better voice than anyone else I know. She’s more creative than most people and I don’t mind the fact that she’s the prettiest girl on the face of the earth.”  
The audience awed at words and Nation was thankful that her veil hid her red face.  
She and Brendon hadn’t exactly spoken about whether they were going to tell the public about their relationship but Nation didn’t mind.  
“Anything else?” Nation asked, managing to keep her cool as she spoke.  
“Oh yeah,” he chuckled as he scooted closer to Nation. “And she’s right next to me.”  
He lifted her veil just enough to press his lips to hers. Ryan stood up and placed himself in front of the two love birds.  
“I apologize for Brendon’s inability to keep his hands off his girlfriend,” he laughed before sitting back down.  
Nation smiled and laughed, turning to hide her face in Brendon’s shoulder, though it’s not like they could see it anyway.  
“Well, that seemed to have shocked everyone,” The interviewer chuckled. “You two might just end up Hollywood’s hottest couple. Urie and Way, who would have known?”  
“I hate you so much right,” Nation laughed as she looked up at Brendon.  
“I love you too,” He grinned before a thoughtful look came across his face.  
“Whatever you’re thinking,” Nation said, “No.”  
“Later then,” he smirked.

**

June 8th, 2009

“Movie night!” Nation exclaimed excitedly, the seventeen-year-old holding a large bowl of popcorn. She sat down between Brendon and Spencer on the large couch. The girl turned so that her feet were propped up on Spencer with her head in Brendon’s lap.  
“Ryan, grab me a beer!” Jon shouted from where he was on the love seat.   
The two had seemed at a distance from the rest of the band lately. Whenever they tried to sit down and start working on the next album, it would end in Brendon and Ryan screaming at each other. It reminded Nation of when she first met the boys.  
Ryan came into the room a moment holding beers for everyone. He tossed one to Jon, before handing one to Brendon, Nation, and Spencer. Nation looked at the beer oddly.  
“What?”  
“Why did you give me a beer?”  
All the guys raised their eyebrows. “You’ve had a beer before, right?”  
“Nope. I try to avoid alcohol, if you haven’t noticed in the past few years,” She said as she leant over and placed the beer on the coffee table. “I’ve seen what drugs and alcohol does to my family. It ain’t pretty.”  
Brendon shrugged. “Okay. Good to know that we’ll always have a designated drive then.”  
Nation rolled her eyes but laughed. Brendon picked up the remote about to start their Disney marathon, but Nation’s phone chose that moment to ring. They all groaned as she grabbed it off the table, about to press the ignore button. She rolled her eyes before pressing the phone to her ear.  
They guys frowned.  
“Hiya, Daddy,” She said. Her voice sounded weary. She hadn’t spoken to her father in a few weeks and she had grown concerned. She texted Mikey, but he said everything was alright and not to worry.  
Nation wondered what bad news he was about to bring.  
“Hey, Nation. You don’t happen to know any drummer looking for a job do you?”   
Nation sat up quickly, knocking the popcorn out of her lap. The guys looked at her with concern in their eyes.  
“You fired Bob,” She said excitedly as she jumped up and down in her seat. The guys all sighed in relief as the words flowed from her mouth. “Oh, that’s brilliant. But….concerning. The fuck did he do?”  
Gerard chuckled nervously. “You really don’t want to know. But, it ended with Frank beating the shit out of him and Mikey almost smashing his bass against his head. Soooo….. yeah it was bad. We need a drummer ASAP to finish the tour.”  
“Where are you right now? I’ll meet you at the next stop,” She told him as she stood up from the couch.  
The worried expression reappeared. Brendon stood up and quickly followed his girlfriend up the stairs. She made her way into their room and went to the closet, pulling out her duffle bag and tossed it on the bed as she moved the phone to hold with her shoulder as she packed.  
“Charlottesville, VA. Next show is Virginia Beach, think you can get on the next flight out here?”  
“Yeah, shouldn’t be a problem. Not like we’re doing anything over here anyway,” She chuckled.  
“Oh yeah, how are you guys doing? Last time we talked you said you were working on the next album?”  
Nation sighed, pausing what she was doing before a moment before continuing to pack her cloths. She pulled out her Black Parade uniform that she hadn’t worn in months into her bag.   
Brendon stood in the doorway, listening to her half of the conversation. She usually would notice his presence, but she seemed too caught up in packing.  
“I don’t know what’s going on anymore. Bren and Ryan are at each other’s throats like before I joined the band. It’d be a miracle if they had a civilized conversation. Sometimes I just wanna lock them in a room and not let them out until they sort out their problems.”  
“Oh, please don’t do that,” Brendon spoke causing the girl to jump six feet in the air.  
“Holy fuck, Brendon you scared the living shit out of me,” She exclaimed as she picked up a pillow of their bed and threw it at him, picking her phone back up as he laughed. “Yeah I’m fine. Brendon’s just as asshole,” She laughed. “Oh yeah, I should probably tell him. I’ll see you soon, okay. Bye.”  
She hung up the phone and sat down on the bed. Brendon came over and sat down next to her.  
“So, Bob got fired and now you’re gunna go drum for My Chem?” He asked her and she nodded. “Don’t worry. I don’t mind. Go have fun. I’ll try to settle things between Ryan and I.”  
Nation shook her head. “I feel like he’s gunna quit Panic!” She said as she subconsciously rubbed her left wrist.   
In December of last year, she and the guys had all gone out and gotten matching tattoo. It was a simple exclamation mark. That same day, Nation got two other tattoos: a treble clef on her neck – the same spot at Frank’s scorpion – and the skeleton from the cover art of The Black Parade on her on her right bicep.   
“It wouldn’t surprise me at this point,” Brendon sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You know he threatened to quit last week.” Nation looked at him confused. “Yeah, you weren’t in the room. Said if they didn’t get more input that he and Jon were gunna leave.”  
“Jon and Ryan do like half the work around here. Ryan writes both guitar parts and Jon has always been in charge of his bass. He’d snap our necks if we told him to change something. But it’s not like we have to, the boy’s a genius. Not to mention they both write lyrics. What the hell do they want? A dictatorship? Cause then I’d leave.”  
Brendon chuckled. “We both know that you’d be the dictator and not even know it.”  
“True.”  
“Cause she is,” Ryan said.  
Both Brendon and Nation jumped before looking at him confused. He stood in the doorway with Jon beside him and a worried Spencer behind them. They came into the room as he continued to speak.  
“You always have her make the finally decisions on everything. No offense, Nation, really it’s not you, it’s Brendon.”  
“What?” Nation said confused.  
“Jon and I are leaving. Officially,” Ryan said.  
“Why?”  
“Cause Brendon’s an ass,” He replied.  
“You know what,” Nation promptly stood up. “I’m gunna go buy my ticket and then have Spencer drive me to the airport. When I land I expect everything to be fixed, one way or another. Scream at each other, throw I punch, just no murder.”   
And with that, Nation grabbed her duffle bag and exited the room.  
That was the last time the whole band stood in the same room together.

**

“Oh, look, you even save me my bunk,” Nation chuckled as she went into the bunks, tossing her duffle into her usual bunk.  
“I tried to take it and Gerard almost lost it,” Frank chuckled from his bunk. “Said the left side was reserved for Way blood. I was kind of offended.”   
Nation grinned as she turned around. Frank climbed out of his bunk. “Hi, Dad,” She grinned as she threw her arms around her step-father.  
“Hey, kiddo. Ready to tour with your dads and uncles,” He asked with a grin.  
“How’s your hands?” She asked him.  
He chuckled, lifting his hands to reveal the bruised skin and bloody knuckles. “Dick had it coming.”  
“What even happened? Dad wouldn’t tell me,” She said as he sat down in her bunk. Frank sat back down in his bunk and the two looked across at each other.   
He shrugged. “Turns out Bob’s a homophobic shithead. Went on a rant about how Gerard and I being together was so wrong and that we should be ashamed of ourselves. So, of course I decked him. Mikey would have smashed his bass on the dick if he didn’t love it so much. Ray wasn’t in the hotel at the time so he only walked into the room after Bob got knocked out.”  
“Good job,” Nation applauded.  
“It wasn’t me,” he grinned.  
Nation smiled and laughed. “Don’t piss off a Way. Who knew Dad could punch.”  
“He can’t. Hit him with a beer bottle and then stormed out of the hotel to take a smoke.”  
Nation shrugged. “Whatever works. Glad the son of bitch is gone. Always hated him.”  
“I can see why.”  
“Told you, you should have listened to me,” She chuckled before standing up. “You don’t happen to have an infinite amount of Pringles do you?”  
“No, but we’ve got Doritos.”  
Nation made her way out into the lounge, going to the cabinets and rummaging around for the Doritos. She finally found them. She went over to the couch and collapsed between her father and Uncle Mikey.  
“So, I heard you smashed a bottle over Bob’s head,” She wiggled her eyebrows.  
“Did you remember your uniform?” He asked her, quickly changing the subject. Nation exchanged looks with Mikey.  
“Yeah. I couldn’t find my veil though, so I just grabbed my Panic! one,” She told him.   
“How are the guys?” Mikey asked curiously just as Nation’s phone went off.   
“That would be them,” She said as she quickly read the text message from Brendon. Nation sighed, running a hand through her long black curls. “Ryan and Jon quit.”  
“Sorry,” Mikey apologized.  
“Not your fault. The guys are dumbasses. That’s all. We’ll be fine without them,” She shrugged.

**

June 2010

Nation sat in front of her laptop, skyping Dan. Her family had approached her last week, asking something big of her and she didn’t know what to do. It could mean the end of all things.  
“I don’t know what to do,” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “They want me to be on the album, but what about Panic!? They were already without me on the last tour because I went off with My Chem, but this would mean that I might not be there for the next album with them. That or it would just get postponed even further. We already have to regroup because Ryan and Jon had written half the album so now we’re starting from scratch and just-ugh, why can’t life be easy?”  
Dan sighed. “I don’t know. It’s your life. You could always just record with your family and then come back and do Panic! full time.”  
Nation shook her head no. “I already know it has to be one way or another.” Dan shrugged before looking towards his left as if someone had spoken to him. “Where are you by the way, I thought your bedroom was brown.”  
“Oh yeah, I’m at Phil’s flat. Phil come say hi to Nation.”  
A dark haired boy came into few, sitting on the couch next to Dan. He had bright blue eyes and pale skin and wore a MUSE t-shirt. “I still don’t believe you’re friends with the actually Nation Way.”  
“That’s me. For real, hello Phil,” Nation said with a grin, fighting everything in her not to jump and down in joy. When Dan had told her that he had noticed Dan and that they had been become friends she was kind of jealous, but she was happy for her friend.  
“Hello, Nation Way imposter,” He smiled brightly.  
Nation chuckled. “Here,” She said and held up her wrist to reveal her tattoo before rolling up her sleeve to show the skeleton and turning her head to show the treble clef. Phil’s eyes widen.  
“Holy smokes! You’re really her!”  
Nation smiled and laughed, nodding. “Oh Dan! I forgot to show you my new tattoo.” With that she turned around and pulled up her shirt to show the Slytherin crest on her right shoulder blade.  
“Bloody hell, I want one!”  
“Dan, you’d cry like a baby,” Phil said with a chuckle.  
“He makes a fair point. Besides, Dan, we both know you’re a Hufflepuff,” Nation joked and Dan glared at her.  
“What’s wrong with being a Hufflepuff?” Phil asked.  
“Nothing, Phil, it’s just Dan’s worst nightmare to be sorted there,” Nation chuckled. “Oh wait no, isn’t that being lost in a forest at night surrounded by moths and the girl from the ring?” Dan shivers. “Whilst in Hufflepuff robes,” She chuckles as Dan glares at her.  
Just then, Brendon walked into the office. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he let down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Stop being mean to Dan.”  
“But it’s so much fun,” Phil laughed causing Nation to grin.  
“What he said.”  
Brendon’s brow furrowed as he looked at Phil. “Aren’t you the guy Dan and Nation used to cry about all the time?”  
Nation and Dan’s eyes widen as Phil nodded and laughed.   
“Don’t worry, I know,” Phil said. “You two probably already know that Dan used to cry whilst listening to MCR and that we’ve done nothing but listen to Pretty Odd sense Dan got here.”  
“Brendon, Nation has a problem help her fix it,” Dan spoke quickly and Nation’s eyes widened. She hadn’t told her boyfriend about her family’s proposition.  
“What problem?” Brendon asked.  
She shook her head. “Dad asked if I want to join My Chem full time.”  
“What so you can go back and tour again as their official nonofficial member. I wouldn’t.”  
“No, no,” She denied. “As an official member. I’d be the full time drummer and get creative input on the new album.”  
Brendon stood up straight and grabbed his rolling chair from his desk, dragging it over. “Do it.”  
“What?”  
“Go. Not like Panic! ‘s doing anything anytime soon. Besides, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if you took a break from Panic! You kind of deserve it for keeping us together for so long.”  
Neither noticed Dan and Phil awkwardly ending the skype call.  
“But what about us? I was already gone for so long touring with them after Bob got kicked out and-“  
“Nation,” Brendon said taking her hands in his, “neither of these bands are going to be around forever. We’ll all either start dying off or we’ll all run out of ideas for music. One day there will be a day where it’s just the two of us and all the time in the world. So what if it’s not right this second. Not like we’re never gunna see each other again. It’ll be just like when Panic! first started off and you went back to your family to tour with them. Besides, not like Spence and I are gunna write an album right this second. We’re both perfectly fine with sitting on our asses for a bit.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Totally.”

**

“Why the fuck is it so hot,” Nation complained as they finished another take of the Na Na Na video.   
“Because mother nature’s a bitch,” Gerard chuckled. He watched as Nation leaned against the wall of the building and twirled her gun, flinching when the trigger cut her finger. Gerard chuckled, not mentioning that he had the same injury. The rest of the guys wouldn’t admit to it either.  
She shoved the ray gun into its holster and hoped Gerard hadn’t seen her cut her finger as she quickly shoved her hand into the pocket of her purple shorts.  
Everyone had their own uniforms and fictional named for this video.  
Her name was Electric Cyanide. She wore lilac shorts and a matching crop top with an aqua jacket pulled over her shoulders. On the back of the jacket was her symbol a beaker inside of circle, lilac to match her outfit. She wore beat up aqua converses and had even gotten her hair cut and died. It was similar to Frank’s in the Revenger era, though where his was blond, hers was lilac and the longer strands of her hair were aqua. To match, she also had aqua biker’s gloves.  
Her mask was probably the most intricate part of her uniform. It had the same basic shape of her father’s and was molded perfectly for her face. The base coat was the same lilac and delicate flowers were painted in aqua. She had designed it herself and she didn’t second guess her decision to place an exclamation mark between her eyes.  
“The next scene has the ‘cans of hell’ as you and Frank seem to be calling them,” Gerard told her and the girl cringed. They had requested vegetarian chili so that she and Frank wouldn’t have a problem eating it, but instead they had gotten some precooked meat shit that Nation will probably throw up afterwards. “Yeah, I know, the scene is literally like two seconds so we get it open and you take a bite then you can spit the shit out.”  
“Thank Cobain, cos I sure as hell wasn’t looking forward to being sick later.”  
Gerard blinked. “Did you just thank Kurt Co-“  
“Yes. Problem?”  
“No, just thought it was odd.” She raised an eyebrow at his answer and he shook his head. “Yeah okay, nothing’s odd when it comes to you.”

**

Nation walked through the airport with her duffle bag thrown over her shoulder as she looked for her boyfriend of two years. She was wearing her mask after Brendon had sent her a quick text telling her that apparently it had gotten out to the press when her flight was landing.  
She stopped and sighed, running a hand through her hair. The drummer couldn’t seem to find him.   
“Excuse me?” She heard the voice of a boy and turned around quickly to come face to face with a nervous looking boy with black and red hair and brown eyes. He had an excited yet nervous look on his face. Nation smiled when she saw the My Chemical Romance t-shirt he was wearing. “You don’t happen to be Nation Way, do you?”  
She chuckled, smiling at him. “Who else would go out in public wearing a weird ass mask?”  
He shrugged. “True. My name’s Trevor. I was wondering if you’d sign my shirt, and maybe take a picture with me.”  
“Got a sharpie. I usually have one but it’s probably in the bottom of my bag.”  
He nodded before pulling out a sharpie, handing it over. She smiled and quickly signed the t-shirt before he pulled out his phone. They took a picture together and Trevor checked the photo with a smile.  
“Thanks, Nation. Oh, by the way, Brendon’s near the Starbucks, I ran into him earlier and he said if I saw you to send you his way. He was hiding from some photographers.”  
She chuckled. “It’s your lucky day isn’t it?”  
He nodded happily before running off, probably to join his parents. She took off in the direction of the Starbucks.  
When she stood outside the café with a latte in her hands, she was disappointed to discover her boyfriend was nowhere in sight. She let out an aggravated sigh before sipping her coffee.   
Nation almost choked as two arms snaked around her waste from behind. She quickly turned around in the arms, a grin breaking out across her face as she looked into Brendon’s brown orbs. Neither spoke. Nation quickly leant up and pressed her lips to his.  
He pulled away and gave her a loving smile. “I missed that.”  
“So did I,” She grinned. “Wanna know what else I miss?”  
“Our bed and my cooking?”  
She giggled. “That’s not what I had in mind, but that sounds almost as fun.”  
His eyes widened. “Oh! That! Oh yeah, definitely won’t be missing that for much longer.”

**

“Where’s Spencer?” Nation asked after they had arrived home. She had tossed her bag into their bedroom, not bothering to unpack, knowing that she would being heading back to Jersey for photoshoots in two weeks.  
“Out. Something about a date?” he said and Nation laughed.  
“So, bar at four in the afternoon and he’s gunna wait ‘til it gets busy so he can get laid?”  
“How the fuck did you know that?” Brendon asked with a laugh as the two entered the lounge. They collapsed onto the couch next to each other.  
“Cause ‘m physic,” She chuckled as she shook her head. “No, you just forget that’s exactly what he does on tour as well. Boy just needs to get himself a girlfriend.”  
“What if he’s secretly at a gay bar?” Brendon ponders allowed.  
She snorted. “Spencer’s smart enough to have invited us.”  
“Fair point. What do you want for dinner tonight? Take out or should I make waffles?”  
“Well,” Nation said as he wrapped his arm around her, “I say waffles as that seems the go to every time I come back from somewhere. It should be our tradition.”   
She rested her head on his chest as he picked up the TV remote and began flipping through the channels.  
“So, you actually got on the plane, still in your uniform?” Brendon asked with a flight laugh.   
She shrugged. “Flight was right after the finally scenes were shot. I was out of there. Besides, these shorts show the skeleton.”  
“True. You look nice. How’d the last scene go, by the way? You never told me.”  
“Oh, ended with Mr. Baldy kidnapping me and the Girl. Next music video will be for SING were the guys show up and rescue us, get killed and then Destroya will be the Girl and I seeking our revenge where I’ll get killed in the process it then right from there it goes off into the comics that my dad and I are writing.” Nation explained excitedly. Brendon smiled.  
“Oh, Spencer and I were wondering something,” Brendon changed the subject. “Can we use Turn Off the Lights, Memories, and Trade Mistakes?”  
She opens her mouth to say no. Nation had written the three songs for the new Panic! album but she wanted to wait to use them when she returned, along with a few others. Then she saw the large puppy eyes. She sighs, shaking her head. “We were gunna use it anyway. Have them. It’s not like I’m never coming back. But the others wait.”  
He grinned. “Sounds brilliant.”


	14. Chapter 14

Nation was spread out on the couch in the My Chem tour bus with her headphones in, listening to Folie A Duex. She still couldn’t believe Fall Out Boy were on hiatus. But she had recently been texting Patrick and he said he was working on a solo album. He had even asked her if she’d like to come and be in a song. The rest of the guys had gone off to play with other bands for the time being.  
It was early, four am. She hadn’t bothered going to bed. She had stayed up talking to Dan and Phil on skype, whilst texting Tyler and Josh. Ty and Josh had bid her goodnight and Dan and Phil had encouraged her to go to sleep as well before hanging up to run some errands.  
But she couldn’t sleep.  
It’d been over a year since the last, but the nightmare had returned. This time was worse. There were so many more people she had to loose. The more they disappeared, the more distressed she became. One by one they either left or forgot her existence. It was the worst feeling in the world.  
She looked up as a figure emerged from the bunks. It wasn’t hard to tell who it was. Even in the moon light his bright red hair stood out like a sore thumb.  
“What are you still doing up?” Gerard asked his voice scratchy. He must have woken up for some reason.  
“Why’d you wake up?” She asked.  
“Had to piss. You weren’t in your bunk, thought you passed out here,” he explained holding up one of the blankets from her bunk. She gave a small smile, her eyes going to her lap. He sighed coming over to sit on the couch next to his daughter. “What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.”  
He shook his head. “It’s never nothing. Now spill.”  
“Nightmare, nothing to worry about.”  
“What was it this time?”  
“Everyone leaving. Only there’s a fuck ton more of you now, so it was a little harsher,” She shook her head. “I was gunna call Bren but I’m pretty sure he’s out cold.”  
“Wouldn’t surprise me. Why didn’t you wake me up?”  
“I just skyped Dan. He wasn’t pleased to be woken up at six in the morning but Phil was thankful cos they have shit to do anyway. They just left a bit ago.” She explained to him and he nodded.  
“You gunna head to bed?” Gerard asked her and she shook her head. “Nation, you need to get some sleep. We’ve got a show tomorrow and you collapsing on stage in not in your best interests.”  
“You mean your best interests.”  
“What?”  
She shook her head. “Nothing. Just-I’ll be fine. Go back to sleep. We’ve got a show tomorrow, remember.”  
Gerard sighed before standing up. He leant down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head mumbling a goodnight before heading back towards the bunks.  
Nation watched him go before picking up her laptop. She scrolled through Tumblr for the rest of the night until around eleven in the afternoon when Mikey came out of the bunks. His hair was a mess and he looked like he’d rather still be in bed. Nation was still trying to get used to him without glasses.  
“Morning, Little Mikey,” He yawned before going over to the coffee pot. “Why haven’t you made coffee yet?”  
“I did. At like eight in the morning,” She chuckled.   
“Well, why didn’t you wake me up?”  
“Cause you were up ‘til five skyping Pete, figured I’d leave you be,” She chuckled and Mikey went bright red. “When are you two gunna get married anyway? I’m dying here.”  
“Whenever the fuck he asks ‘cause I’m too scared to do it,” He said deadpan as he began to make a pot of coffee.  
Nation laughed. “I’ll be sure to tell him then.”  
Mikey turned on his heel and glared at her. “I will personally cut off your dick.”  
“Uh, Uncle Mikey, hate to break it to you but I’m your niece, not your nephew.”  
“I was talking about Brendon’s,” Mikey spoke, fighting a smile. Nation choked on air. “Yeah, I know. Just don’t get pregnant.”  
“I wasn’t planning on it,” She said with a horrified look.  
“Good. I don’t want to be an uncle anytime-wait a minute. I don’t wanna be a great uncle anytime soon,” he corrected himself as Nation fought back laugher.  
“Yeah, and I don’t wanna be a grandfather,” Gerard said as he and Frank emerged from the bunks.  
“Agreed,” Frank said, “at least let us have another kid before that happens.”  
Gerard stopped in his tracks at those words, causing Frank to run into him.  
Frank walked around him, looking up at his husband with concern in his eyes. “You okay?”  
Gerard ran a hand through his bright red hair. “Uh, yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Mikey, coffee done?”  
“Give it a fucking minute.”  
Ray came out from the bunks just then. His hair was a mess and his face stubbly. “What’d I miss?”  
“Ways bitching about coffee not being done and Dad freaking out over another kid,” Nation summed up.  
Ray raised an eyebrow, looking at Gerard and Frank. “That’s a thought. You two ever gunna have a kid?”  
Nation took offense to that. “I’m already here.”  
Ray chuckled. “Sorry, another kid. Better?”  
“Yes, actually.”  
The coffee finished and Mikey poured everyone a mug full, although he only prepared his and Nation’s. He handed his niece her coffee before sitting on the couch next her and her mound of blankets. It was early March and it still seemed like it wanted to be cold as fuck.  
Frank made his coffee, handing Gerard his, knowing that he didn’t want anything in it. Ray picked up his mug, taking it black as usual.  
“That’s a big move,” Gerard said more to himself than to the band. “I mean, I’d rather not be on road while raising another kid.”  
“Then what the fuck am I?” Nation asked with a raised eyebrow. She doesn’t have many memories of living at home growing up. Most of her childhood consisted of minimal showers, load concerts, and living on a bus. Nothing has really changed.  
Gerard shook his head. “Band didn’t get together until you were nine. You remember that,” He reminded her. “I didn’t have to raise you on bus.”  
“Actually,” Frank chimed in, “most of her life has been on a bus.”  
“Yeah, but she wasn’t a baby,” Gerard said.  
“And she’s right here,” Nation chimed in.  
“Who said you had to adopt a baby? You can always adopt an older kid,” Ray suggested.  
Everyone went quiet.  
“That’s actually a really good idea,” Mikey said. “I mean, don’t parents usually adopt the younger kids. If you adopted an older kid they’d be more independent. They kinda have to be. I talked to a couple fans once that lived in an orphanage. They were really nice.”  
“That’s honestly the smartest thing that’s ever come out of either of your mouths,” Gerard was astonished.  
Frank smiled. “So, we can adopt a kid?”  
“Don’t see why not. I mean, doesn’t it take like forever to get approved or what not?”  
“Shouldn’t for you two. They always check for financial stability and what not.”  
Gerard didn’t think he’d ever seen Frank so excited.

 

**

 

“HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!” Gerard asked the crowd. They scream in response.  
They were half way through the show. The whole band was drenched in sweat. After the last song Gerard had stopped to talk before a minute so they could each down a water bottle.  
Nation sat behind her kit, twirling her sticks between her fingers. Her breathing was fast and she was nothing but exhausted. Her head was pounding and she didn’t know if she’d make it through another song.  
A few moments later, they began the song. Nation played right through the beginning of the song a grin on her face even when she was struggling to grip the drum sticks.  
“I miss you, I miss you so hard, and the collision of your kiss that made it so hard,” Gerard sang. “Way down, way down.”  
That was last thing Nation heard before the drum sticks slipped from her hands. Black spots clouded her vision and she blinked hard, shaking her head before she slipped into darkness.  
She fell from the stool with a loud crash as her kit drum was knocked over.   
Frank had been watching her, noticing her odd behavior. He stopped playing and rushed to the aid of his step-daughter. The song died out as the band went into panic mode.  
Frank hopped over the drum kit and was at Nation’s side in a matter of moments. He carefully rolled her over, gently removing her mask. He winced at the gash in her forehead. Her mask must have cut her when her head slammed into the floor.  
“What the hell happened?” Gerard asked as he collapsed onto his knees on the opposite side of Nation.  
“I don’t know. She was in and out of it for a moment and then she just collapsed. Something wrong with her earlier?” Frank asked as a medic finally reached their side.  
Gerard shook his head no. “No, she was acting fine-wait, she didn’t sleep at all last night and I don’t think she had slept the night before either.”  
The medic quickly looked over her. “Her pulse is weak. We need to get her to a hospital. Now.”  
Gerard eyes widen as the medic grabbed his walkie-talkie and requested for someone to call an ambulance.  
“Mr. Way, I need you to step back,” The medic said as another quickly joined him.  
Frank stood up, pulling up a dazed Gerard with him.  
“No, no, no, no, no,” Gerard mumbled repeatedly to himself.  
“Gerard. Gee, Gee look at me,” Frank said as he tried to get the older man’s attention. His hazel eyes were still locked onto his daughter. “Gee, look at me, man. Gee, she’s gunna be okay. She’s always okay. Babe, look at me.”  
Mikey and Ray were at their side, confused.  
“What the fuck happened?” Ray asked.  
“Gee, man, she’s gunna be alright,” Mikey said, also trying to get his brother’s attention. However, his younger brother’s voice was laced with worry.  
“Not again. Not again,” Gerard mumbled.  
Frank’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean not again? Gee, this has never happened before-oh.” He seemed to finally realize something, as if a bad memory had just resurfaced. “Gee, this isn’t the same. She’s gunna pull through, trust me.”

 

2000

Gerard was visiting his parents that day. Abby had wanted to take Nation out for the day. They decided a movie and ice cream would be nice. Abby had convinced Gee to go visit Mikey and his parents, being that it had been a few months sense they had last seen each other in person.  
Gee and Mikey were sitting in Mikey’s room reading comic books like back in their childhood days. They had invited Frank over and he had just sat in the corner the whole time, smoking a pack and strumming his guitar.  
“What time is it?” Gerard suddenly asked.  
“Uh, like four,” Mikey replied.  
“Fuck,” Gerard groaned. “I gotta go. Abby’s gunna be pissed if I’m not home for dinner. That and Nation will scream her head off until I come home.”  
Mikey’s brow furrowed. “Shouldn’t she like, grow out of that or something.”  
“What can I say,” Gee chuckled as he pulled on his jacket, “she’s daddy’s little girl.”  
Frank laughed. “It still confuses the hell out of me that you can say that.”  
“Why?”  
“Just, you as a dad. I hadn’t seen that coming. By the way, would Abby mind if I came over for dinner. My fridge is empty and I’m broke.”  
Gerard shrugged. “She’ll probably shout out you for a minute before telling you to wash up. But sure.”  
“Sweet. Let’s go. Bye Mikey.  
“Bye, Mikey.”  
“Bye, Gee. Bye, Frankie.”  
The two headed out to Gee’s car and started to head home.

**

“Thanks for ice cream, Mommy,” An excited Nation grinned.   
Abby smiled, brushing her black curls behind her ear before buckling the hyper nine-year-old in her car seat. “You’re welcome, Nation. Now sit still for a minute so I can buckle you in. When we get home you can tell Daddy all about our day.”  
The girl’s eyes lit up and she sat still. Abby buckled the girl in before closing the door and going around the car towards the driver’s side. She buckled up before starting the engine and heading out of the parking lot of the ice cream shop. She turned onto the main road, heading towards their apartment.  
“So, what do you think, Nation? Should we have spaghetti or pancakes for dinner?”  
“Pancakes!” She squealed excited. “We never have pancakes for dinner!”  
“Well,” Abby chuckled, “I figured it’d be a nice treat. Besides, you’ve been very good lately.”  
“Really?”  
“Yup,” Abby laughed as they approached a red light. She stopped behind a Jeep and glanced back at Nation. “You even cleaned your room yesterday without having to be asked. I’m very proud.”  
“Daddy helped me,” She smiled.  
Abby raised an eyebrow. “Did he now? Well, I guess you both deserve the pancakes then.”  
Nation smiled before looking towards the light. “Mommy, green light.”  
“Oh, thanks sweetie,” She said and began driving once again.  
One second, the two were smiling.  
The next, the car was sent tumbling.  
Nation screamed, unsure of what was happening. Her head slammed against the window and her arm was smashed against the door.  
The car finally stopped rolling and tears were streaming down Nation’s pale cheeks.  
“Mommy! Mommy!” Nation screamed.  
There was no response.  
Her mother’s head rested against the steer wheel, her head turned to the right with her neck at an odd angle. Abby’s pale face was stained with red, her green eyes lifeless.  
Nation’s eyes widen, unable to move her gaze from her mother’s corpse.  
“Mommy,” She mumbled. “Mommy. Mommy, say something... My head hurts Mommy... Mommy.”

**

“The hell happened here?” Frank asked as they were suddenly stopped in traffic. The sirens of an ambulance and police sound and people were getting out of their cars, curious as to what was going on. “Wanna check it out? Could be interesting.”  
“Sure,” Gerard shrugged and the two got out of the car.   
Police were blocking people from going any further. Dozens of people had gotten out of their cars to see what had happened. It looked as if a pickup truck had slammed into an old SUV. Gerard’s brow furrowed. The SUV looked like the one Abby drove. He managed to get a look at the license plate and his eyes widened.  
“Abby! Nation!” He screamed and took off running towards the wreckage.   
“Fuck, Gee!” Frank said and took off after him.   
Police caught Gerard and wouldn’t let him any further.   
“That’s my best friend. That’s my kid,” He said urgently. “Please, let me go.”  
“I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”  
Gerard stopped resisting the cop as he saw EMT’s pull someone out of the wreckage.  
He’d never forget the lifeless look in her eyes.  
“No. No, no, no, no. Abby!” He screamed. Frank finally caught up to them and his eyes widened at the sight of the woman.  
“Abby,” He breathed, before he remembered the kid. “Nation, where’s Nation?”  
“I think they’re pulling the kid out now,” the police man said and they all watched as a fire fighter pulled out a small girl with black curls. She was limp in his arms.  
“She alive?!” An EMT asked quick rushing over to them.  
“Her pulse is weak. We need to get her to a hospital, now,” he said as he handed her off. They rushed her towards and ambulance and Gerard looked at the officer.  
“Go,” He told him.  
Gerard took off towards the ambulance, tears in his eyes. The EMT stopped him as he approached the ambulance. They loaded Nation into the ambulance.  
“Sir, step back.”  
“She’s my daughter.”  
“Come with us,” He said before helping him into the back of the ambulance.

**

 

Gerard sat at Nation’s bedside, gently holding her hand in his. Frank was asleep in a chair in the corner of the room. Ray and Mikey had left for food.  
There was a quick knock on the door and Gerard looked up as someone entered the room.  
“I flew here as soon as you called,” Brendon spoke before his eyes settled on Nation. “Oh, Nation,” He sighed before taking slow steps over to her side. He leant down and pressed his lips to her forehead. “How’s she doing?”  
Gerard shook his head. “Doctor’s don’t know when she’ll wake up. Could be ten minutes, or tomorrow… or a year.” Gerard choked back a sob.  
“What’s wrong with her?”  
“They don’t know. Everything’s stable. She was sleep deprived but even that shouldn’t cause this. It’s as if she doesn’t want to wake up.”  
The two sat in silence. Brendon pulled up a chair and held Nation’s other hand. He brought it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand.   
“Come on, Nation,” he mumbled. Brendon looked up at Gerard.   
His hair was greasy and there were dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a few days.  
“When was the last time you slept?” Brendon asked.  
“Night before she ended up like this.”  
That was Thursday.  
Today’s Monday.  
Brendon shook his head. “Wake Frank up. Find Ray and Mikey and get back to your bus and go the fuck to sleep. All of you could use it.”  
“But what if-“  
“I’ll call you.”  
Gerard took a deep breath before standing up. He leant down and pressed a kiss to Nation’s forehead before going to wake Frank before the two reluctantly left the hospital room.  
“Come back to us, Nation. Come back to me. I miss you. You have no idea how much I missed you,” he said as he looked at her with a sad smile. “Even like this you’re beautiful,” He mumbled. “I love you so much, Nation. I know I haven’t said it- haven’t truly said it. But I did. Fucking hell, I love you so much. Just come back so you can hear me say it.”  
He sighed.  
“I’m not leaving until you wake up so you better wake the fuck up ‘cause I’m not living my whole fucking life in a hospital. Besides, the albums coming out in a few weeks and then I’ll be forced to leave. Oh fuck, I forget to tell Spencer. Eh, whatever he’ll figure it out eventually. You’re all over the news you know. It was kind of ironic when you passed out, you know. Perfect timing really.”  
He shook his head, looking her over. Her pale skin was paler than usual, standing out against her aqua and lilac hair. Her roots were coming, showing that it had been months since that had last seen each other face to face.  
“Tyler and Josh keep texting me. Want to know how you’re going. When they can come see you. Dan and Phil want to know when they should fly out. Pete wants update, so does Patrick and Andy. Hell, Ryan texted me and wanted to know how you were.” He shook his head. “Why the hell am I talking, it’s not like you’re gunna reply anytime soon.” He sighed as he crossed his arms and rested them on the side of the bed, burying his head into them.  
“Well, then you’re an idiot,” A hoarse voice replied.  
Brendon’s head snapped up. “Holy fuck you scared the fucking shit out of me,” he said before quickly leaning up and smashing his lips against hers. He pulled away. “I love you so fucking much. Don’t you ever fucking do that to me ever again.” He kissed her again before pulling away, his eyes widening. “Fucking hell, I’ve gotta call Gee, not to mention Tyler and Josh and Dan and Phil, and Pete and Patrick and Andy fucking hell I’ll even text asshole.”  
Nation rubbed her eye and let out a yawn. “How long was I out?”  
“Uh, four days.”  
“Holy fuck.”

**

Gerard burst through the door of Nation’s hospital room and rushed towards her, throwing his arms around her in a tight hug.  
“Uh… hi, Daddy,” She chuckled as he pulled away.  
“Never do that to me again. Got it?”  
“Sure,” She said confused. She shook her head. “When do I get out of here? We’ve already had to cancel a couple shows. Let’s not make it anymore.”  
Gerard gave her a stern look. “You’re not playing the rest of this tour.”  
“Excuse me!?” Frank came into the room, followed by Ray and Mikey. Brendon was standing in the corner of the room awkwardly. Nation looked towards her boyfriend. “Brendon, I can’t be the only one that thinks this is fucking crazy, right?”  
He looked at his shoes.  
She rolled her eyes.  
“Go home for a bit. When Brendon and Spencer leave for their tour go visit Dan and Phil for a bit. They already said that you could come,” Gerard told her. Nation’s eyes widen.  
“Why the fuck can’t I come on tour? Okay, I get that you’re worried, Dad, but not even letting me travel with Brendon. You’re just shipping me off somewhere cos you think something’s gunna happen to me. What the fuck? I’m my own person. I’m not your little girl anymore.”  
“No, you’re not a little girl anymore but I’m still your father and you’re going to listen to me,” He said his voice slightly raised.  
Brendon’s eyebrows shot up and he quickly abandoned the room, dragging the rest of the guys with him.  
“You can’t do this to me. You have no right.”  
“No, I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I’m not fucking worried about you. It seems like every time you go on tour with us something happens. Stop for a bit. Go stay with Dan and Phil. Just avoid the stage for a bit.”  
She glared at him before shifting her gaze to her lap. “Fine,” She mumbled.  
He sighed in relief. “Thank y-“  
“But don’t expect to be hearing from me anytime soon.” Her voice was cold and she didn’t dare to look him in the eyes. She knew if she did she’d crack under his stare. “Now get out.” He didn’t move. “I said out.”


	15. Chapter 15

Nation angrily packed her suitcase for her stay in Manchester.  
“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE THINKS HE CAN JUST SHIP ME OFF LIKE THIS!” Nation shouted in frustration as she shoved clothes into her back. Brendon sat on the bed, looking at her with wide as eyes as she screamed out in frustration. “HE CAN’T DO THIS! I’M AN ADULT!”  
“Then why are you packing?” Brendon asked.  
“Cause neither of you will let me on a damn tour bus anytime soon and I haven’t seen Dan in fucking forever and I haven’t hugged Phil yet so I’m taking the fucking opportunity. And don’t you fucking smile at me, boy, I’m pissed at you too.” She snapped at him and his grin vanished. Nation sighed before collapsing onto the bed. “I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be. I’d be pissed too.”  
“Then help me.”  
“Your Dad scares me.”  
She gave him a confused look. “He reads comic books and loves cats more than himself. How fucking scary could he be?”  
“The other one.”  
“Well, yeah, But, you’re twice his size.”  
Brendon shrugged. “Don’t matter. Frank could fuck me up.”  
Nation laughed, scooting closer to him. He smiled wrapping an arm around her to pull her closer.  
“How long?”  
“Few months, at least ‘til either my chem or we get off tour.”  
Nation frowned. “I’m not talking to him anytime soon. He can go fuck himself.”  
“Doesn’t he have Frank for that?”  
“No, that’s what Frank has him for.”  
“Ah,” Brendon nodded. They glanced at each other trying to keep straight faces before bursting into laughter. “Why did that come out so naturally?”  
Nation choked back a laugh. “Cause it’s fucking true.”  
They calmed down after a moment and just laid in silence.  
Brendon looked down at her for a moment, before breaking the silence. “What am I gunna do without you?”  
“Cry probably.”  
He shook his head. “No, I mean, you’re gunna be so far away.”  
“I usually am with our jobs.”  
He chuckled, moving so that he was hovering over top of her. She eyed his position. “You know what I mean.”  
“Welp,” Nation chuckled. “You’re gunna be really horny and you’ll have to make due with Spencer.”  
He sighed. “Unfortunately, Spencer’s as straight as his drum sticks.”  
“Have you looked at them probably then?”  
“True,” He smirked before leaning down to press his lips to hers.

**

“I SEE A PHIL!” Nation shouted from one side of the airport. This earned her quite a few strange looks before she quickly took off towards the tall Brit. Phil smiled as he leant down to engulf her in one of his infamous hugs.  
“Oh, it’s so good to finally see you,” Phil said before pulling away. “So, I’m sure you already know this, but I’m just reminding myself I guess. You’re staying with me for a bit, Dan’s currently at university and is taking the train every weekend to come hang out with us.”  
“Dedication,” She nodded. “So, how ya been, Philly?”  
“Tired. I hate work.”  
“We all do.”  
He chuckled. “What do you have to complain about? You’ve got one of the most fun jobs in the world!”  
Nation shook her head as they walked towards the exit. “It is. But, right now, I want to avoid my band at all costs.”  
“What actually happened, by the way? I just got a call from Brendon asking if we could ‘watch after you for a while.’ Whatever that mean. I know you got hurt on stage, but that’s it really.”  
“Don’t worry about it, Phil. I passed out, that’s all. They’re all just over reacting. Hell, if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s you guys, I’d probably be at home right now eating ice cream and binge watching Pokémon and angrily tweeting about my dad.”  
“Which one?”  
“Yes.”  
Phil chuckled. The exited the airport and Phil flagged down a cab. They got in and Phil told the driver his address before they pulled away from the curb.

**

“Nice place,” Nation smiled after Phil gave her a quick tour of his small apartment.  
He shrugged. “It’s not much, sorry you don’t have a bed. I could always sleep on the couch.”  
“Oh no, I couldn’t do that to you. Besides, I hope you know I’m helping paying for groceries and shit cause I’m a pain in the ass,” She told him as they made their way towards the kitchen.  
“Aren’t you a vegetarian?” He asked and she nodded. “Want a drink?”  
“Don’t happen to have beer do you?” She asked and he nodded before opening his fridge and handing her a beer. “I hate planes,” She said before cracking open the can and taking a sip.  
Phil raised an eyebrow. “What happened to you hate alcohol, by the way? Dan told me not to worry about you drinking me dry,” He chuckled.  
“Planes. Planes are bad. Besides, one beer won’t turn me into an alcoholic… hopefully.”  
He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, “No, it won’t. Trust me.”  
“I might just do that.”  
“Hope you do. For all you know I could kill you in your sleep.”  
Nation laughed, setting her drink on the counter before leaning against it. “Well, you have yet to kill Dan and it’s a hell of a lot easier to kill him than it is me.”  
“How come?”  
“I was almost suffocated by smoke as a kid because my Dad thought my mom had woken me off after the building next to us caught on fire. The apartment was nothing but smoke. I was like seven. Firefighters had to go grab me cause I spelt through the fucking smoke alarm,” Nation laughed. “I don’t think I ever saw my mom so pissed at my dad. It was the funniest shit in the world.”  
“Your Dad left in you in a burning building?” Phil was shocked, though he was laughing.  
“Well, it wasn’t burning. The one next to us was. He left me in a smoked building. There’s a difference.”  
“What the hell?! He’s Gerard Way! Isn’t he supposed to be smart?!”  
She giggled, tucking a lock of lilac hair behind her ear. It was getting long, she needed a trim. “We said he was talented. Never said anything about brains. All that went to me apparently.”  
“Oh yeah,” Phil said as he hoped up on the counter, swinging his feet slightly as Nation soon copied his actions. “Weren’t you like ten when you graduated secondary school?”  
“If that’s the British version of high school than yes and no. I was like thirteenish. Mom home schooled me for a while and I got ahead, after she died it mostly was online and Ray being thankful that he paid attention in his math class. Cause if it was up to anyone else on that bus I’d still be in geometry,” Nation joked.   
That’s about when he phone buzzed. She rolled her eyes before pulling it out. Nation easily recognized Frank’s contact name.  
Dad 2: How would you feel about a younger brother?  
Nation sighed.  
“Something wrong?” Phil asked kindly.  
Nation shook her head. “They ship me off and then act as if nothing is wrong.”  
“What’s going on?”  
“My dads want to adopt another kid,” She told him, eyes on her phone still. She had yet to respond to the message.  
Phil tilted his head to the side. “You don’t want siblings?”  
“What? Oh, no, no, no, don’t get me wrong. I’m thrilled. It’s just,” She sighed, “I don’t know anymore. I guess I’m kind of just self-centered, used to their worlds revolving around me. It’s kind of weird to think that they want another kid… though, a little brother sounds great. Don’t you think?”  
Phil chuckled. “Couldn’t tell you. I’m the youngest. I think I’m parents decided that one weird child was enough.”  
Nation wiggled her eyebrows. “See, that’s a requirement in my family.”  
“I’m pretty sure the whole world could tell you that,” he joked.  
“I’m serious, though!”  
“Sirius Black?”  
“Take me seriously,” Nation laughed. “My mom was a lesbian who fucked her best friend. That’s literally the only reason I exist in the first place. My dad majored in comic books, my step dad got a tattoo just so he couldn’t get a so called ‘real job’ and my uncle, well…he’s just Mikey. There are literally no words to describe that man other than weird and coffee.”  
Phil laughed, covering his hand with his mouth. “Coffee?”  
“Yeah, I hope you have an endless supply because a Way can go through their coffee.”  
“I live off it. Don’t worry.”  
Nation’s phone buzzed once again.  
Dad 2: This is actually important Gee and I were looking at the information shit and you’re actually supposed to choose the preferred sex of your kid. Are we supposed to care what’s between their legs? How the fuck is that supposed to affect us?  
Nation giggled before responding.  
Nation: tampons are expensive.  
Dad 2: tru. Now, boy or girl  
Nation: boys don’t need tampons  
Dad 2: Boy it is.  
“What’d you say?” Phil asked curiously.  
“Boy.”  
Her phone buzzed announce again.  
Daddio: But I want a giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllllllllllll  
Nation: Wasn’t raising me hell enough?  
Daddio: no  
Nation: I failed at bein a kid then  
Nation chuckled. “Dad wants another girl but Dad wants boy.”  
“That sentence made little sense to me,” Phil stated through a giggle.

 

**

“DANIEL!” Nation squealed as Dan came through the front door of Phil’s flat. She and Phil had spent the day binge watching Doctor Who and debating who the best doctor was.  
“NATION!” Dan said excited as she stood up from the couch. He took two quick strides towards her before they crashed into each other’s arms. Dan held her tightly, not wanting to let her go. “Phil and I literally have this whole weekend planned out as for the next few actually. And I brought my camera so that we can film what I am going to call the first ever Day in the Life of Dan, Phil, and Michelle!”  
“Oh, that’s another thing,” Phil chimed in. “We thought you’d get a bit bored of England so we were trying to figure out what we like to do around the house and figures, if you want of course, you could make your own Youtube channel,” Phil replied just as Dan released her from his hold.  
Nation stepped back and gave them a ‘what the fuck’ look.  
Dan’s brow furrowed. “Bad idea then.”  
“No, no,” She shook her head. “I mean, that’s actually a great idea. I’ve wanted to start one for a while now it’s just, you said next few weekends, which implies that I’ll be here until your spring break. That’s a fucking long time.”  
Phil suddenly became concerned. “Are you not okay with that? You don’t have to stay you know. You can come and go here as much as you please.”  
“It’s-it’s just,” She paused, sighing. “That’s a fucking long time man. I thought this would be like a short little break. Kind of like I get sometimes in the middle of tour. I mean, then I usually just go and visit Josh and Ty but-it’s just. I don’t know,” She shakes her head, sitting back down. “It’s like my family doesn’t want me around. I mean, hell, even Brendon fucking agreed to not let me on tour. Isn’t he at least supposed to care about what the hell I want?”  
“Yes, actually,” Dan stated as he took a seat next to his best friend, Phil taking her opposite side. “Fuck him. Not literally, I mean.”  
“Well,” Nation started and Dan’s eyes widened.  
“Oh god! I didn’t need to know that!”  
Nation couldn’t help but laugh as Dan went bright red. Phil laughed as well at his reaction.   
The three were interrupted by Phil’s phone going off. He slipped it out of his pocket to read the text message and Nation leaned over, curious, also reading the text.  
“Who the fuck is the Human Caterpillar?”  
Dan and Phil exchanged a look before grinning ear to ear.  
“Probably,” Phil said, “your new best friend. She’s on her way over right now. Her name’s Mya. She loves Red Hot Chili Peppers more than herself and has actually been dying to meet you which is surprising because people scare her.”  
“You forgot Han Solo,” Dan pointed out. Nation sat up straight at the name of her first crush.  
“How did I forget that?”  
Nation raised an eyebrow. “What about my husband?”  
Phil chuckled. “Mya loves Han Solo more than herself.”  
“Oh, same.”

**

“MYA!” Phil said excited whilst throwing open his front door. A short girl quickly entered the flat and wrapped her arms around Phil’s frame. It was an odd sight with how short the girl was, about 5’2. She had shoulder length brown hair and matching coffee brown eyes. Nation marveled at how perfect her makeup was.  
“PHIL! OH DAN!” She said excited before hugging Dan as well. The Hispanic girl tilted her head to the side as she examined Nation. “You must be Nation. You are very pretty. I approve.”  
Nation smiled and laughed. “And you must be Mya, the apparent Goddess of makeup.”  
“Did they really say that?”  
“Nope. I did,” Nation grinned. “My dad taught me how to do mine. It’s not getting any better than this,” The raven haired girl joked as she gestured to her face.  
“Prettier than me.”  
“I beg to differ,” Phil chimed causing Dan I elbow him.  
“Damn. Philly’s throwin’ shade,” Nation said. “Didn’t see that one coming. But, you didn’t see this coming either.”  
Silence.  
“What?” Dan asked slowly.  
“This dick!”  
Dan snorted before bursting into hysterics, the rest of them soon joining in.  
“WhAT the fUCk was that!?” Dan asked between laughs.  
“I don’t even know,” Nation choked out as she looked towards Mya. “That was a terrible first impression I’m so, so, sorry.”  
“Are you kidding me? That was bloody fantastic. You are my new favorite female.”  
Phil raised an eyebrow. “Who was it before?”  
“Dan.”  
“Wha-you know what I probably deserve that,” Dan shrugged as Nation stifled a laugh.  
“So,” Phil said as he wandered over to the bookshelf near his television, “care for a movie night?”  
“Fuck yeah! Let’s watch Star Wars!” Mya exclaimed, excitement in her eyes.  
Nation grinned. “STAR WARS! HAN SOLO MY HUSBAND!”  
“I will literally fight you.”  
“Let’s go-fuck what’s your last name?”  
“Kiedis.”  
“Like Red Hot Chili Peppers Kiedis or a coincidence?” Nation asked.  
Mya laughed. “Like Anthony Kiedis. He’s my uncle and also the equivalent of Jesus.”  
Nation laughed. “We both know that Fru is Jesus. I mean have you seen the man?”  
“Yes, actually. He’s very pretty.”  
“Lucky little shit,” Nation said with a laugh.   
Dan and Phil exchanged knowing grins. They had discussed having the two meet for a while now, knowing that both girls had zero female friends and thought that maybe they needed a break from the male species.   
Mya chuckled. “Nation, you’re known around the whole world and admired by millions. No one knows who the fuck I am. Shut up, you’re the lucky one.”  
“Mya, the phandom thinks you walk on water,” Dan tells her. “Seriously, that one video we did is literally my most popular.”  
Mya and Nation smiled at each other before repeating a single word, mimicking Dan.  
“Literally.”  
“Goodbye,” Dan says before promptly standing up and heading towards the front doors.  
“Bye, Dan! See you in hell!” Nation calls after him only to be greeted by his laughter once again entering the room.  
“I hate both of you.”  
“Love you, too,” They grin.

**

“So, is this what you had in mind for this weekend?” Nation asked Dan as the fifteenth episode of Death Note ended. After he and Phil had discovered neither girls had seen it they insisted that they marathon the whole show instead of getting food.  
Dan shrugged. “Not really. But, this is the ideal life. Anyone want popcorn?”  
“YES!” Nation and Phil said excitedly before sharing that look of ‘we got the same favorite *insert thing here* we besties.’  
Dan chuckled looking towards Mya who nodded approvingly. The tol bean got up to go make the snack. Nation immediately turned towards Mya and Phil. Mya was curled up into Phil side, using his chest as a pillow. His arms were wrapped around her almost protectively.  
“So, are you two together or do I have to aggressively ship until you’re married?” She asked them. Phil instantly turned a dark shade of red, a small frown forming on his face as Mya quickly escaped his arms.  
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Nope, nope nopity nope nope. No,” Mya quickly denied as a blush tinted her cheeks. “We’re just friends. I swear on my uncle that we are just friends.” She glanced at Phil. “Right, Phil?”  
“Wha-oh, yeah. Yeah, we’re just-um-friends. Best friends actually,” He chuckled as he nervously adjusted his fringe.  
Nation frowned before sighing. “Fine, guess I’ll just have to aggressively ship Mil.”  
Dan returned to the room holding a large bowl of popcorn, drenched in butter. “Oh, do you aggressively ship Mil as well now? We should make a fandom for it. Actually, I think there already it one.”  
“I’m gunna look it up on Tumblr later,” Nation laughed as Dan sat down beside her once again, lazily wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She took the popcorn from him and placed it between herself and Phil. “But seriously, Mil should be canon.”  
“And so should Dation but Wurie is already canon soooooo,’ Mya explained and Nation and Dan exchanged worried looks.  
“Oh no,” Nation said.  
“Definitely, oh no,” Dan agreed. “Please don’t tell me that’s like on the internet.”  
Phil laughed. “It is actually. Everyone thinks the famous ‘Emo Princess’ should meet the internet cult leader and have an infinite amount of emo internet nerds.”  
Nation shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time we fucked,” She joked and Dan groaned.  
“Oh god, that was so awkward! Don’t remind me!”  
“Wait, Dation was canon at one point?” Phil asked excitedly. They both raised eyebrows at him excitement. “What? You’d be cute.”  
Nation laughed. “Not at all actually. He came on tour with me and Panic! for a bit before Brendon and I were together. He was leaving the next day and we were like fuck it. Literally.”  
“Oh, no, don’t tell them that,” Dan groaned, hiding his face in her hair.   
“Dan, you can literally say that you lost your virginity to a Way. Not only that, but you took hers. You should ravish in that fact,” Mya spoke excitedly. Nation reminded herself not to tell Mya anymore details of that night.  
Phil snorted. “Not like anyone would believe him.”  
“Oh, true. Poor Dan.”  
“They’d believe Michelle though,” Nation said whilst wiggling her eyebrows.  
Dan grinned. “You mean we can film a video together and reveal our deepest darkest secrets to thousands of strangers online.”  
“Yup.”  
“YES! We’ll do it next weekend after we film the day in the life of us video. Oh, by the way, Mya you are now included in this project because of your channel and constant presence in Phil’s flat. Oh, Nation-sorry, Michelle, you should probably set up your channel sometime in the week. Maybe have Phil help you sense it’s your first time, as well.”  
Dan continued to ramble about the following weekend, leaving the anime soon forgotten as the four planned their activities for next week.


	16. Chapter 16

“Do you want to use my camera until you get your own?” Phil asked Nation, popping his head into the bathroom as she messed with her hair.  
She nodded. “That’d be great. We’re just doing a Q&A right?”  
“Yup.”  
“Kay.”

**

“Sup, peasants,” Nation greeted as she gave a short little wave and a smug smile.  
“You can’t start your first video like that!” Phil protested from off camera. Nation laughed.  
“Why not?!”  
“Because it’s rude!”  
She raised a thin eyebrow. “Have you met me?”  
“True.”  
She shook her head, looking back at the camera. “Hey, peasants. My name’s Michelle Parker and welcome to my kingdom of emo. This is my first video for this channel and I will be joined by the one and only, AmazingPhil.”  
Phil sat down next to her with a bright smile and little wave. “Hi, guys. So, if you haven’t noticed yet. This is actually my flat. Not hers.  
“Yeah. I’m from Jersey bitches. Don’t forget it,” She said with a serious face before cracking up. “I sound like my dad. Oh no. Maybe I should just say I’m from England, see how many of you motherfuckers believe me. Yeah, that’s a thing guys, I’m actually British but I’m using a brilliantly mastered fake accent to deceive you into believing I’m from Jersey. You’ve been informed.” She nodded. “So, what will we be doing today Phil?”  
“Well, the two of us sent out a tweet via twitter,” Phil explained.  
“That’s how you tend to tweet Phil. Unless you invented a new was to tweet and like called a bunch of fucking birds like Snow White.”  
Phil laughed. “Well, we asked you guys to send us some of your questions and we’ve picked out our favorites. Katie wants to know, ‘who the bleep is Michelle? She’s pretty.’ Michelle, who are you, may I ask?”  
“Well, Philip, I’m just an emo girl living in an emo world,” She replied in a mock news anchor voice. She laughed. “Well, I’m almost 18 years old, I live with my boyfriend of three years and our close friend. And I’m currently a musician whose band seems to want nothing to do with her at the moment. Thus, why I am in Manchester visiting my best friend’s best friend. Seriously, Phil, what the fuck? You can’t just steal Dan from me like that man.”  
“I’m sorry!” Phil apologized in fake terror.  
“You better be, you freaking potato.” She laughed before looking at twitter to read the next question. “Abby wants to know who my favorite bands are. I highly enjoy MCR, Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, and Twenty One Pilots.”  
“Who’s Twenty One Pilots?” Phil asked and Nation’s eyes widen.  
“God I wish I had my ukulala with me.”  
“You mean ukulele?”  
“No, it’s an ukulala and don’t tell me otherwise.”  
Phil shook his head. “You’ve been around Mya too much.”  
“Yeah, well you haven’t been in Mya enough.” Nation smirked.  
Phil shoved her playfully, “I hate you!”  
“Love you, too, Philip.”  
Phil shook his head. “Next question then. Michelle! Are you single? I think we’ve answered that,” He chuckled. “Phil! How long have you known Michelle?!”  
“That depends physically or emotionally?” Nation asked before pausing. “That came out wrong.”  
“It did,” Phil laughed. “Well, we met through Dan because they had been internet friends for-how long?”  
“Uhhhhh, sense we were about fourteen if I’m right. I think I’m right… Yeah, cause Dan turned fifteen whilst I was in the Outer Banks and he found out my dads are gay that day. He had been aggressively shipping him and my step dad for a while, right around then,” She laughed.  
“That doesn’t surprise me. But, yeah, we met through Dan in the middle of a skype call. Dan was like Phil come here and now here we are.”  
“Next tweets from Jamie. Who the fuck do you think you r? Unless you ship Mil, fuck off.” Nation looked at the camera as she spoke. “Good to know that there are twelve year olds that would hate me if I didn’t ship Mil. I’ll let you know that Mil literally occupies ninety-five percent of my life, because WILL YOU TWO GET FUCKING MARRIED ALREADY!?!?!”  
Phil laughed, shaking his head. “You’re going to have a ton of editing to do later.”  
“Bitch, If I bleeped out every fucking cuss word, I’d be fucking editing all day because of the shit that comes out of my mouth on a minutely basis.”  
“You’re worse than Dan.”  
“My dads are even worse,” She chuckled.  
“That’s a scary thought.”

 

**

 

“What time is it by you anyway?” Josh asked curiously.  
Nation glanced at the clock and rolled her eyes. “Like three a.m. Not like I’ve dealt with my jet lag sense I got here anyway. Phil and Mya went to bed like two hours ago. They’re so cute.”  
“Are they together yet?” Tyler asked excitedly. Nation had been messaging the two boys about her British friends sense she got here and had screamed to Tyler for about an hour on Skype about Mil a last week about it.  
Nation sighed. “Unfortunately, no. But, enough about me. What’s going on with you two? I miss you.”  
“I miss you too,” Tyler complained, a small pout forming on his lips.  
“I don’t.”  
“JOSHUA!” Nation and Tyler both scolded before Nation froze, hoping she hadn’t woken her friends.  
Josh chuckled. “Kidding, kidding. When you coming home anyway. We need to eat endless Chinese food and watch Star Wars.”  
“That’s all I’ve done here, to be honest,” Nation laughed. “We marathon like everything and eat endless food. Dan comes over on the weekends but he gets out on break in like three weeks so that’s a thing.”  
“That’s so long!” Tyler said. “I need help writing and you’ve gotta be here to do so.”  
Nation nodded whilst tucking her fringe behind her ear. She was in need of a haircut. “Maybe I’ll randomly fly out next week. I might have to stay at your place though.”  
“I’d be concerned if you weren’t staying here,” Josh said.  
He and Josh had moved out of their parents a few months ago and had gotten a house with two of their friends. Nation had yet to meet the two humans and wondered if they were as strange as Tyler and Josh themselves.  
“You’ll get to meet Greg and Jen then,” Tyler smiled.  
“Oh, true. That’ll be fun. All the new people. Ew.”  
Tyler and Josh shared a smiled before looking back at the screen. “You’ll love them, trust me,” Josh assured her. Tyler’s gaze shifted to something of screen and a second later a girl with blonde hair came into view. She leant down and pressed her lips to Tyler’s briefly, mumbling something about going to bed before disappearing from view.  
Ty and Josh both laughed at Nation’s shocked expression. Her jaw dropped and her eyes were wide. She definitely didn’t see that one coming.  
“Wait for it,” Josh said before another figured came into view. He had short dark hair and matching eyes. He kissed Josh briefly before walking away, his laugh audible as he walked away.  
The boys didn’t know Nation’s eyes could get any wider.  
“When the fuck were you two gunna tell me you found a boyfriend and girlfriend,” Nation whispered harshly, carefully as to not wake up Phil and Mya.  
“Yeah, about that,” Josh chuckled, “he’s not my boyfriend. That was me fucking with you. Tyler and Jenna on the other hand…. Yeah, I’m third wheeling twenty four seven.”  
Nation looked towards Tyler as his cheeks become tinted pink. “Bad Tyler. You’re supposed to tell me when there is a new potential sister in law.”  
He smiled and laughed. “You didn’t tell us you were with Brendon until two seconds after Josh threatened to punch him in the face.”  
“Oh whoops.”  
“No shit.”

 

**

 

Dan turned on his camera as he approached Phil’s building. “Hey guys, on my way to Phil’s place. Michelle’s currently staying with him and it wouldn’t surprise me if Mya’s there as well because she basically lives there anyway. If you haven’t noticed we decided we’re gunna do a day in the life video, so this could either go very well or terrible. Let’s see what happens.”  
He approached Phil’s front door before fumbling with the key Phil had given him. He pushes open the front door and enters the flat, closing the door behind him before making his way around the flat. He stops in front of the sitting room and chuckles at Nation’s sleeping form.  
She was half on the couch half off of it with the blanket barely over top of her. Dan picked up the pillow that had fallen on the floor and hit Nation with it. She woke up with a start, falling on the floor as Dan laughed like a hyena.  
She rolled over and glared up at the boy. “Daniel James Howell you’re a fucking asshole.”  
“Love you too,” Dan laughed, the camera pointed at her.  
She cocked an eyebrow. “Why the fuck are you recording me at-wait what time is it? Oh, look it’s one in the afternoon that’s pleasant. When did you get here?”  
“Like two seconds ago and we’re filming a day in life today remember?”  
“Oh yeah.”  
“Where’s Phil and Mya?”  
Nation’s brow furrowed. “Phil’s room. How’d you know she was here?”  
“Phil posted a picture of them at like two in the morning. Apparently they were binge watching Star Wars again.”  
“Again?”  
“Yeah. I’m gunna wake them up. You should make food.”  
Nation laughed. “You make food. I can’t cook worth a fucking shit.”  
“Let’s make Phil cook us pancakes.”  
“Sounds like a plan.”  
And with that Dan disappeared down the hall to wake up their two friends.  
“Phil, wake the fuck up and make us pancakes,” She heard Dan say from down the hall. She laughed as she sat up from the floor wondering how she had managed to end up in such an odd position in the first place.

**

“TYLER!” Nation squealed as she saw her friend from across the airport. He looks around for a moment before his eyes lock onto her. A smile breaks out across his face as she comes towards him. All her anxiety over her earlier flight was suddenly washed away as she saw her brother.  
She quickly made her way over to him and engulfed herself in his arm. He hugged her close to her chest before she pulled away and looked around.  
“Where the fuck is Josh?”  
“Getting you coffee.”  
“OH LET’S GO!” Nation exclaimed, very excited. “Josh is my new favorite.”  
Tyler chuckled. “I hope you know that I told him to go get some because I was too lazy to get it myself.”  
“Lies,” Josh spoke from behind them. Nation spun on her heels before hugging the life out of Josh and taking the coffee from his hands, thankful it had a lid. “Hiya, Nation.”  
“Hiya, Joshie. I appreciate the coffee. Much thanks.”  
“Many welcomes,” He replied with a laugh. He took her bag from her hands as Tyler threw his arm around her shoulders. They made their way towards the exit of the airport.  
“How was your flight?” Tyler asked. “Hell, I assume.”  
She groaned. “Why do I keep getting on planes? I swear, one day the fucking thing is gunna fall out of the sky with me in it and everyone will be sad and I will feel like shit because you’re sad.”  
“You’d be dead. You wouldn’t exactly know what’s going on,” Josh chuckled.  
“Point still stands.”

**

“Okay,” Nation said as she entered Tyler and Josh’s house for the first time. “Where the fuck is the guy that kissed my baby brother?”  
Josh’s brow furrowed. “I’m older than you and like twice your size.”  
“Everyone’s twice her size,” Tyler noted.  
Nation glared at them. “I’ll have you know I’m officially five foot.”  
“Wow, so impressive,” Tyler said sarcastically. She glared at him.   
Footsteps approached them and a moment later a slim girl walked into the room. She had long blonde hair pulled up into a messy bun and she looked as if she had just woken up. She smiled as she saw the three.  
“You must be Nation!” She smiled coming over to give the shorter girl a hug. “I’m Jenna, Tyler’s girlfriend. It’s so good to meet you! The guys wouldn’t shut up about you coming.”  
Nation smiled. “It’s great to meet you. I flipped when I found out Tyler finally found someone. He seemed very happy.” Jenna grinned before going over and kissing Tyler. Josh and Nation wiggled their eyebrows at each other. “Anyway, where’s the fucker that kissed Josh?”  
“Work,” Jenna replied. “He got called in again. Something about a fire in the kitchen.”  
Nation became confused at her words and Josh quickly cleared it up for her. “Greg runs the kitchen at Wendy’s.” She chuckled as Josh shrugged. “Whatever pays the bills.”  
“True. So, where can I throw my stuff?”  
“You can either take the couch or share with me,” Josh said and Nation raised her eyebrows. “Don’t worry, I bought a new bed, we can actually fit in this one.”  
Nation laughed, remembering the twin size bed that Josh alone could barely fit in, causing their many sleepovers to be Nation lying on top of Josh due to the lack of space.  
“Your room then.”  
“Cool,” he said picking up her bags once again. “I’ll go throw your stuff in my room and then we can go get lunch.”  
“Fun times.”  
Tyler looked at Jenna expectantly. “Want to come?”  
She shook her head. “I’d love to, but you know I’ve got to get ready for work.”

Tyler nodded, giving her a quick kiss before Jenna disappeared up the stairs, probably to her and Tyler’s bedroom.  
“Come on,” Tyler said, “I’ll give you the tour.”

**

“So, how’s the British empire?” Tyler asked curiously before digging into his French fries.  
Nation shrugged. “Pretty good. It’s great to see Dan and Phil again. Oh, and Mya’s amazing. But, it’s great to be here. I missed Jersey. I just hope I don’t run into him.”  
“Who?” Josh asked.  
She looked up at him, “the guy that helped make me exist.”  
“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I’m an idiot.”  
Nation shook her head, focusing on the food in front of her. “Don’t apologize. I’m just being stupid anyway. Oh, by the way, don’t let him and Brendon find out I’m in Jersey. I will be brutally murdered.”  
Tyler became confused. “Why not Brendon? Shouldn’t you be able to trust him? I mean, he is your boyfriend after all. Nation sighed. “Yeah, but- I don’t - I don’t know anymore.”  
The boys exchanged a worried glance.  
“What the hell’s going on between you two that’s so bad?”  
“Nothing. Like, nothing. We haven’t talked at all sense I got to England. Neither of us have texted each other, so I guess we’re both at fault.”  
“Yikes. Hope that gets cleared up.”  
“Me, too. Enough about my pathetic family. What’s been going on since I disappeared off the face of the earth?” She asked curiously, pushing her food away from her. She hadn’t been hungry in the first place anyway.  
“Well, Josh and I just got signed,” Tyler stated casually. Nation choked on air for a moment.  
“I’m so proud of you!” She exclaimed. “Oh, wait, is that why you wanted me to come help you write?”  
Tyler nodded. “I’ve been having trouble writing the last few weeks and Josh is useless.”  
“True,” Josh shrugged.  
Nation laughed. “When we get back to the house I’ll help you.”  
Her phone went off.  
Dad 2: Hey. Your dad and I have been working on adopting and they sent us a file on a twelve year old kid named Gunner. He’s got a baby sister though and that he refuses to be separated from. I emailed you their files we got. Figured you should see.  
Nation’s brow furrowed before she quickly went to her emails, checking her most resent. She spotted the email from her step-dad and opened the attached file, reading over it.  
She smiled to herself at the picture attached to the file. It was of Gunner and his baby sister. They both had ginger hair, bright blue eyes and pale skin. He was holding her in his thin arm arms, smiling brightly. She couldn’t help but notice the Fall Out Boy t-shirt he was wearing. Nation liked him already.  
She continued to read over his file.  
Gunner Valentino Linton.  
December 6, 1998  
Jasmine Lee Linton.  
January 21, 2009  
Parents lost custody after an incident in May of ’09.  
It went on to say what else had happened sense then and with that, she closed the file, not knowing if Gunner would want her to know so much. She sent a reply to Frank.  
Nation: Seems like a great kid. He was wearing a FOB shirt. I approve. Fucking adorable. My siblings are prettier than me.  
Dad 2: true  
Nation: fight me  
Nation then went back to the file and save the photo of her possible new siblings before showing it to Tyler and Josh. “Look at my possible new siblings.”  
“They’re cute. Names?” Josh asked curiously.  
“Gunner and Jasmine but knowing my dads they’ll change Jasmine’s name in a heartbeat and then ask Gunner if he wants to change his,” Nation explains. “I think my dad has his heart set on a kid named Bandit though. Fucking dork.”  
Tyler and Josh laughed. “Sounds fun. Josh, we have new younger siblings now.”  
“So many names,” Josh groaned, remembering how often he confuses everyone in his and Josh’s families.  
“I will no longer be the youngest Way, what is life?”  
“Oh no, don’t ask me that,” Tyler groans.  
Nation’s phone buzzed again. She rolled her eyes.  
Dad 2: We have a break tomorrow and figured we’d drop by to see you, Dan and Phil.  
Her eyes widened.  
“Oh no.”  
“What?” The two boys asked and she showed him the text message. “Oh no.”  
Josh promptly stood up. “okay, red alert, get back to the house, we all pack our bags and head the fuck to England before it’s too late.”  
“You don’t have to come,” Nation said as she and Tyler both copied his actions, quickly dropping some cash on the table before leaving the restaurant. They made their way to Tyler’s car and started to head home.  
“Uh, yeah we do. Besides, we want to meet said Mya and Phil so we can force them to get married,” Tyler laughed.  
She shook her head. “I’ll skype Phil when we get home and buy tickets for the earliest flight there. Make sure it’s okay if we all try and squish together on the couch.”  
“How the fuck did we get into this situation? When did your family even get to England?” Josh asked.  
“Do I look like I fucking know?” Nation asked, starting to become a bit panicky. “I’m so fucked. Oh my John Frusciante. I’m a dead girl.”  
“Didn’t know you were ever alive.”  
“Tyler not the time to question my existence right this second, thank you.”

**

Nation sat down between Josh and Tyler for the long plane ride ahead of them. They sighed in relief, glad to know that they’ll be home in time for her family to not notice she had been gone.  
“If this works, I might cry,” Nation said to her friends.  
Josh raised an eyebrow. “Thought you were gunna do that anyway.”  
She shot him a playful glare.  
“Dude, this is sick as frick we’re going to England,” Tyler said excited.  
Nation shook her head. “Not that exciting really. Same as America only they talk weird and it’s cold and wet. Oh, and Maltesers are fucking heaven.”  
“The fuck is a Malteser?”  
“Like I said, heaven.”

**

The three climbed out of the cab and quickly headed up to Phil’s building. They had slept on the flight over as to keep from seeming dead when My Chem arrived. They went up to the fourteenth floor and Nation pulled out the key Phil gave her for during her stay. They entered the flat and tossed their stuff in the corner of the room where Nation had kept it when she had been here the weeks prior.  
“What time is it?” Nation asked as she collapsed onto the couch.  
“Uh, like twelve. Where’s Phil?” Tyler asked.  
Nation shrugged. “Said something about lunch with Mya when I skyped him. Maybe he finally asked her out on that date,” She wiggled her eyebrows.  
Tyler chuckled. “Phil’s too scared to ask her out. He’d have to get Dan to do it for him.”  
“Oh true. I think they’re coming over at 5 if I remember right. They said something about getting dinner. I don’t have a clue if they know that you’re here though. Probably not. Should probably tell them. Oo, I’ve got an idea.”  
She pulled out her phone and snapped a few pictures of her and the boys before deciding on the best one and sending it to Frank.  
Nation: Heads up. The dorks are here  
Dad 2: Why doesn’t that surprise me  
Nation: cus theyre basically ur kids now  
Dad 2: tru

Four hours later

Nation stood in front of the mirror, aggressively trying to fix her hair. She heard the doorbell ring and she swore under her breath. She hadn’t even done her eyeliner yet.  
“SOMEONE GET THE DOOR I HAVE EMO MATTERS TO ATTEND TO!” Nation shouted earning laughter from the other room. She listened as the door opened and closed and the large group of hellos. She heard Phil say something about me being in the bathroom before a figure appeared in the doorway. She glanced in the mirror to see Frank. “Hi, Dad,” She said before going back to her eyeliner. She swore as she poked herself in the eye.  
Frank laughed as she did so. “Smooth, give me,” he said and Nation rolled eyes as he took the eyeliner from her hands.   
“Oh, please don’t,” She laughed before Frank shushed her and helped her with her makeup. “I feel like I’m thirteen again.”  
“You mean when you had to do your makeup on a moving bus and kept poking yourself in the eye? Because if so, then yes,” Frank chuckled as he finished. “Tada,” he said before looking towards the mirror and applying it to himself.  
Nation laughed. “Oh look, it’s the return on eyeliner. What has the world come to?”  
“I don’t know. But I like it,” he laughed. “Come on, Gee’s dying to see you.” She frowned. “Yeah, I know you’re pissed at him for just shipping you off, but come on, you could have just snuck back to America if you wanted to.”  
Nation snorted.  
He stopped and looked at her before grinning ear to ear. “When’d you get in?”  
“Like twelve.”  
He laughed. “You’re so my kid. Don’t worry. My lips are sealed.”  
“Why are you lips sealed?” Gerard asked just as the two entered the lounge to reveal who all was there. Mikey, Ray, and Phil were in some sort of conversation whilst Josh and Tyler were talking to Mya.   
“She hates your hair,” Frank said deadpan and Nation’s eyes widened.  
“You weren’t supposed to tell him!” She exclaimed, going along with his quick cover up.  
“Yeah, it’s getting to long,” Gerard complained as he tugged on a fire engine red lock of hair, before tucking it behind his ear. “Come on, we’re taking the bus since there’s like fifty of us. Actually how many of us are there?” he quickly counted, “Oh nine. Nice.”

**

“How the fuck did we manage to get everyone to sit together with only two tables?” Nation asked as she sat across from Tyler. Josh was on her left and Mya on her right.  
“I don’t know,” Josh shrugged. He quickly took notice to how she had tried to avoid all conversation with her father as possible. He still wondered exactly why she was upset with him. At least she got to hang out with Dan and Phil, right?  
“So, Nation, how’s England been?” Mikey asks her.  
“Fucking cold.”  
“Agreed,” Frank said.  
Gerard’s brow furrowed. “We’ve been here like three days. How much can you complain?”  
“A lot,” Frank laughed. “Oh, good news. We got approved to adopt Gunner and Jasmine. We skyped them last week and Gunner thinks Bandit’s the coolest name in the world apparently,” Frank explained causing her and the boys to share a smile, “and he said he wants to change his name to Link.”  
“Like Legend of Zelda Link?”  
“Yup.”  
“Okay, he’s my new favorite human,” Nation declared.  
Tyler looked at her confused. “How many favorite humans do you have god damn it?”  
“A lot.”  
Nation looked towards Frank. “So, when do you like, I don’t know, get them? I have no clue how this shit works.”  
“They’re gunna fly into Jersey in May. You should come and help them settle in. Have some quality time with your siblings,” He said.  
“Yeah, sure. Cause quality time with my siblings is completely normal,” She laughed as she looked at Tyler and Josh. “Don’t you actually get along with your siblings?”  
“Surprisingly,” They laughed.  
“Oh, joyous.”

**

Nation sighed after closing the door behind her family.   
“That was close.”  
“Only you, Nation. Only you,” Mya laughed. She shot her a glare.  
“Thanks, Mya. Feeling the love,” Nation said.  
Phil yawned. “I’m tired. Too much stress. I’m heading to bed, night guys,” He said before taking Mya by the hand and pulling her with him.  
“Oh, apparently I am also Phil now. That’s nice. Night guys.” And with that, Mil went to sleep for the night. Nation picked up her laptop and collapsed onto the couch next to the guys, she opened up the sticker covered computer before opening her emails, not surprised when it was nothing but notification from Tumblr and Facebook.  
She was surprised to see Brendon had suddenly decided to Skype her.  
She pressed accept as Tyler and Josh exchanged knowing looks.  
She smiled as his face popped up onto the screen. His hair was a mess and he was wearing his glasses. He looked like he was sitting in his bunk judging by his lack of shirt and mound of blankets.  
“Hey, Babe,” Brendon smiles.  
“Hiya, Brenny,” Nation grinned. “The boys are here,” She said and Ty and Josh leaned into her side grinning like idiots as they waved to Brendon.  
Brendon laughed. “Hey, guys. How you been, we haven’t talked in a while and it’s kind of concerning.”  
Nation sighed in relief. “Oh thank Cobain I wasn’t the only one to notice it.”  
“Yeah, it’s nice to hear from you finally. Have you listened to V&V yet?” He asked curiously.  
She nodded. “It’s great. Thanks for Sarah Smiles by the way,” She laughed.  
He grinned. “My pleasure. When you coming home?”  
“Depends when you’re coming home,” She told him.  
“True. Spencer and I fly out to England in a few weeks. I’m stealing just fyi.” Brendon told her causing her to grin. “When’d you two get there, by the way?” He asked the boys.  
“Uh, at twelve today, same with Nation. Don’t tell Gee,” Josh told him and Brendon’s brow furrowed. “Oh, Nation came out to Jersey for secret visit and suddenly Frank texted her saying they were dropping by so it was like oh fuck time to go to England. And here we are.”  
Nation elbowed him an annoyed look on her face. “Josh you’re shit at keeping secrets.”  
Brendon smiled and laughed. “You act like I’d tell Gerard. Besides, you can go wherever the fuck you want. You’re your own person.”  
“Well, that’s good to know,” Nation laughed. 

**

@thatemoMichelle: I am a potato. My best friend is a potato. And Mil is religoin.   
Nation set send on the tweet before her eyes widened. Dan’s brow furrowed before his phone tinged. They could hear both Phil and Mya’s going off from the other room.   
Dan snorted. “You misspelled religion.”  
“Fuck you.”  
“Been there, done that. Wouldn’t mind round two,” Dan grinned letting out a laugh as she elbowed him in the side.  
It was the weekend after what they now refer to as the ‘America Incident’ and the two internet hobos were curled up next to each other on Phil’s couch watching Doctor Who. Phil and Mya were with them, but had disappeared saying something about dinner. Dan and Nation barely even heard them, to focused on the show and the warmth of the other.  
Seriously, Phil’s flat was like ten fucking degrees.   
They were curled up under several blankets and Nation was tucked carefully under Dan’s arm, close enough that he was her pillow, but turned enough so she could watch the show.  
Nation curiously watched as Dan tapped away at his screen and a moment later her phone buzzed, followed by Phil and Mya’s across the flat.  
@danisnotonfire: @thatemoMichelle learn how to spell before I tickle u  
Nation read the tweet and laughed, looking up at Dan with a smile. “You’re a dork.”  
“Yeah, but I’m your dork.”  
@AmazingPhil: @thatemoMichelle @danisnotonfire ur both dorks  
@futuregrrrl: @thatemoMichelle @danisnotonfite @AmazingPhil Dation  
“What are our friends?” Nation laughed as they looked at their replied.  
“Trash.”  
“Trash?” Nation laughed at the insult. “What’s that supposed to me?”  
“I have no idea. Just the first thing that popped into my head.”  
“Concerning.”  
“Very.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ITS BEEN FOREVER SINCE IVE UPDATED I AM SO SORRY HAVE THIS EXTRA LONG CHAPTER IM SORRY ITS NOT EDITED

Nation sat on the couch scrolling through Tumblr when she got a Skype notification. She read Frank’s contact name and then looked at the time. 8 p.m. which means it’s about three in the afternoon in Jersey. Phil was out running errands, leaving the flat to herself.  
She pressed accept and watched as Frank’s face appeared on the screen, accompanied by two children. She recognized the faces instantly. Nation smiled brightly and waving.  
“Hello, small siblings!” Nation greeted.  
“Hi, Nation!” Link grinned. Until the photo from before he was glasses, the frames black. Frank bounced the seventeen month old in his lap causing the child to smile.  
“Hi, Bandit,” Nation smiled. The girl smiled and laughed as Frank grinned. His arm was wrapped protectively around her as if he were afraid to let go. He leant forward and pressed a kiss to the back of her head.  
“So,” Frank said, “you were right when you said babies and tours are fucking hard.”  
Link looked at Frank and then back at Nation at the sound of the curse word, causing her to chuckle. “I’m always right. Besides, it’s been two days. You’ll get into a rhythm eventually… I hope.”  
Link laughed. “So do I. Nice to meet ya, by the way. Always wanted a Big Sister.”  
“No you don’t. Honestly, they’re hell,” Nation heard Ray say from somewhere in the background causing the three to laugh. Bandit seemed lost in her own world at the moment, admiring the tattoos on Frank’s hands.  
Link’s brow furrowed and he looked at Frank. “Dad, do we have any aunts and uncles?”  
“Haven’t you met Uncle Mikey?” Nation asked with a concerned sound in her voice. She had instantly recognized the couch on the tour bus. She wondered where they were right now.  
“Well, yeah, but no one else,” Link laughed.  
“Link,” Rays said from somewhere off camera, “You can call me Uncle. Nation had sense she could talk.”  
Nation’s brother nodded before looking back at Frank.  
“Well, Mikey’s your actual Uncle, Ray will probably end up your favorite Uncle,” Frank explained before Mikey interrupted.  
“Is this going to turn into battle of the uncles?”  
“Possibly,” Ray replies with a laugh.  
Frank rolled his eyes smiling as he took notice to Bandit tracing the letters that spelled Halloween on his knuckles. “But other than them, no. Well, actually, Mikey’s boyfriend is named Pete and Nation’s been calling him uncle for a while, so there’s him. That’s it I think. Oh, wait, Ray you still dating Jocelyn?”  
“We broke up in like 2008 man, where have you been?”  
“Up my dad’s ass,” Nation responded with a shrug.  
“True,” Frank.  
Link’s eyes widened before he cringed. “I did not need that mental image thank you.”  
“Well, Dad, at least you know he’s well educated,” Nation laughed.  
“Y’all are crazy,” Link laughed.  
“Oh no, he’s southern what do we do?” Nation asked dreadfully.  
Link raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I don’t know. Get over the fact that I say ‘y’all’ in every other sentence?”  
“Sounds like a plan.”

 

**

 

The following weekend, Dan sat on the couch watching anime with Phil, Mya and Nation. Well, Phil and Mya. Nation had been up all night, the night before skyping her new, younger brother and getting updates on how My Chemical Romance was doing. She hadn’t talked to Gerard since the short conversation during the America Incident.  
The musician had curled up in Dan’s arm and fallen asleep, her arms wrapped around Dan as if he were a sort of teddy bear, as she kept calling him. Mya was in Phil’s arm, in a similar position. The doorbell rang and both men groaned, causing Mya to shush them.  
“Dan, get the door,” Phil said and Dan looked at him and then down at Nation.  
“Do I look like I can bloody move?” He asked causing Phil to chuckle as he stood to his feet, leaving Mya Phil-less. Dan listened as Phil opened the front door. There was a brief exchange, Phil sounded surprised.  
Phil reentered the lounge, this time accompanied by someone Dan had not seen in person in years. His eyes locked on the brunette and he offered a kind smile.  
“Hi, Brendon,” He greeted. “You’re girlfriend’s freezing her bloody ass off. I mean seriously, feel her hands they’re like ice.”  
Brendon chuckled. “Hey, Dan and mysterious girl,” He said as he sat down on the couch next to Nation, reaching out to take her hand. He frowned before poking Nation’s face. “Nation…Nation wake the fuck up.” She didn’t stir so Dan stood up seeing if the movement would awake her. No luck.  
Brendon rolled his eyes before leaning down and pressing his lips to her. She quickly pulled away, her eyes widening.  
“Who the fuck do you- BRENDON!” She squealed sitting up and throwing her arms around her boyfriend. Brendon grinned, pulling Nation close and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Hell, I fucking missed you.”  
“I came to save you,” he told her.  
“My shit’s like all over this bloody flat so I hope you’re helping me find it,” Nation said as the two stood up. Dan, Phil, and Mya looked at her with sad eyes, though they were glad that Nation was leaving. They knew how anxious she was getting, kept up in this flat for so long. She longed for the long hours on the bus, nothing between her and her music other than a few miles and lack of showers.  
“We’ll help,” Dan offered with a sad smile. “But, you have to come visit more often. Promise us.”  
Nation smiled going over and wrapping her arms around her best friend. “I promise, Bear. Once a year for a whole week I’ll come raid your fridge. Then you can all raid mine and Brendon’s. Besides, it’s literally been just a few weeks and I’ve already got a couple thousand subscribers on Youtube. Who knows? They might invite me to next year’s Playlist Live.” She wiggled her eyebrows.  
“Oh that’d be brilliant! You could meet Tyler and Connor and Felix and so many more of the other Youtubers! It’d be great,” Phil said excitedly.  
“Wait, can I come?” Mya asked.  
“Mya, you literally got a hundred thousand followers after your first video. The dedication of the bloody phandom is scary as hell,” Dan reminded her, causing the girl to shrug.  
“True. Now, come on, Nation, time to pack,” Mya said before leaving the room to help her gather her things.

 

***

Panic!’s bus was in front of Phil’s apartment building. Brendon had just left, carrying Nation’s suitcase, leaving her to say her goodbye.  
“Bye, Mya,” She said as she hugged the girl. “Keep them in check whilst I’m away, will you?”  
“I promise. Now, go have fun. Oh, and make a Twitter as yourself and follow me. That’d be great thanks.”  
Nation smiled and laughed. “I might as well. Then I can reply to the stupid shit my family tweets about.” She turned to Phil, “Bye, Philly,” She said as she hugged him close, he had to lean down so that they were the same height. She whispered in his ear, “Ask the fucking girl out.”  
“How?” He whispered back.  
“I don’t know. Offer Star Wars and free food.”  
“That… might actually work,” he chuckled as he pulled away. “See you later, Nation. It was brilliant having you.” He took Mya’s hand as he looked between Dan and Nation. “We’ll leave you two alone then.” They left the lounge together, causing Dan and Nation to stand in silence for a moment.  
“This lasted shorter than expected,” Dan broke the silence.  
Nation chuckled. “Was longer than I thought.”  
“Seemed like five minutes to me,” Dan said quietly before finally pulling her into his chest. “Goodbye. I’m gunna miss you, Nation Michelle.”  
“Did you just call me Nation Michelle?” She asked pulling away for a moment.  
He chuckled. “Well, that is your name isn’t it? Well, half you name. Nation Michelle Helena Way, most beautiful name in the universe.”  
“Beautiful name for a beautiful person,” She grinned before shaking her head. “What am I talking about my name is fucking weird as hell. I mean, my sister’s name is Bandit and my brother is Link. Like what the fuck dads. I mean, Link chose his own name but they could have fucking stopped him.”  
“Do you know your parents? He could have walked up to them and asked to change his name is placenta and they would have let him.” She nodded. He sighed before pulling her into another hug. “Don’t leave me. I’ll be all alone.”  
“You’ve got Phil and Mya.”  
“I’m always alone without you,” He mumbled pathetically.  
“Well then, Bear, you need to get closer to Phil and Mya cause knowing them they’re listening in and are very offended right now,” She said, smiling when she heard their laughter from down the hall. “But, you can skype me whenever the fuck you want and the minute Brendon and I get a break I’ll buy your plane ticket. Got it?”  
“Got it,’ He nodded as they pulled away from each other. He gave her another sad smile his chocolate eyes filled with a mixture of love and grief. Dan leant down, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Be safe now. Don’t do anything you don’t want on the internet. Bye, Nation”  
She smiled and laughed. “That’s my life motto.” She pulled him down to her height and pressed a kiss to his cheek before heading towards the door. “Bye, Bear. I’ll see you soon, okay?”  
“Right. Bye, love!” he called after her as she opened the door to the flat.  
She turned around and smiled. “Later, Bear.”  
And seven goodbye’s later, she finally left the flat.

 

**

 

“Hey. Hey, Tyler. You know what you and Josh are gunna do?” Nation asked over the phone. She was spread out on her couch staring at the ceiling. Brendon and Spencer were out for the day for one last radio show, but luckily it was local.   
“What? What? What?” he asked with a laugh.  
She giggled. “You should just like come out to California and hang out with me, because I am back and I am in black and there is food and free beer.”  
“That’s sick as frick. We’ll head your way as soon as we can. And since when do you drink? I thought you were going to avoid alcohol because of your family history,” A hint of concern was in his voice. He knew her previous feelings on the subject.  
She sighed. “I don’t know. I got off the plane and the first thing I did when I got in Phil’s flat was chug a beer because damn that was calming…. Never let me drink again.”  
“Gotcha.”  
“Oh, fuck, I’ve gotta send Dan a plane ticket. I promised him. I’ll call you later, ‘kay Ty?” Nation said as Tyler chuckled.  
“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later, sis. Love you.”  
“Love you too.”  
She hung up the phone and hurried up the stairs to the office. She pushed open the door before booting up her laptop and opening skype. She sent Dan a tweet telling him to get the hell on, not caring what time it was there.  
She waited for the little bubble to turn green before pressing call. “Nation, what the hell? It’s bloody five in the morning.”  
The background was different from the norm. He had recently dropped out of university and got a flat together with Phil. University life just wasn’t for him so he decided to take up Youtube full time.  
“When do you want to fly out? I’m gunna try and have you come around the same time as Tyler and Josh,” She said as she pulled up plane tickets, scrolling through dates and times. “I can get you on a plane for next Tuesday for twelve pm your time.”  
He rubbed his eyes, yawning before nodding excitedly. “That’d be brilliant. In other news, Mil is now canon.”  
“LET’S FUCKING GO! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! GIVE ME DETAILS!”  
Dan laughed, shushing her. “Shush. They’ll wake up. Anyway, a couple days ago, Mya’s roommate, Maddie, got accepted into some university in America and had to leave last minute for it and Mya can’t afford to live on her own so Phil offered for her to come live with us because she basically has lived here the last few months anyway. Anyway conversation was basically Phil suggested her living in the flat with us and she was all but there’s only two bedroom and he was like ‘well, half your shits already in my room and I love you so like, that’s a thing.’ And then she fell over and promised to cook up breakfast every day at two.”  
Nation smiled and laughed. “I love how she knows none of you are gunna wake up before then.”  
“I can’t tell you the last time I woke up earlier than that, to be honest,” Dan laughed. “Hey, Nation, want to move in with us and wake up and help cook us breakfast at two every day and be a great girlfriend.”  
“Sure. Just gotta tell Brendon we’re fucking,” Nation joked just as the door to the office opened wide.  
“You’re what?” His voice was deadpan and anger seemed to growing in his eyes.  
Nation chuckled. “Oh, yeah, cause Dan and I are totally together and I’ve been cheating on you since the beginning,” She joked. “You know you love me.”  
“Get the fuck out,” he said motioning to the door.  
‘What?” She said confused. “What’s wrong?”  
“Get the fuck out of my house. Go live with your fucking boyfriend if you want to fuck him so much,” His voice was cold and his eyes locked on the floor.  
“Brendon, you know I’m joking right?” Nation asked slowly.  
“Calm down, Brendon. We’re joking,” Dan said trying to calm him.  
Brendon shook his head. “No. First you sneak off the Jersey to hang out with your fucking brothers without anyone knowing where the hell on you are, then there’s you leaving Panic! and you-just… no. get out.”’  
Nation’s brow furrowed as she slowly rose to her feet, taking steps towards Brendon. “Brenny, are you okay? What’s going on with you?”  
“Just get out,” He practically growled.  
She shook her head. “You know what, fine. Have it your way. Don’t expect me to come back. Dan, I’ll be on the first flight out to you. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.” With that, she shut her laptop and pushed past Brendon, hurriedly going towards the bedroom. She grabbed a large suitcase and threw the majority of her clothing into it, taking her essentials before storming out of the room.  
“You can mail my books to my dads.”  
What the fuck just happened?

**

Nation sat in front of her gate, head hung low as she kept her attention on her phone, trying to distract herself. She scrolled through Twitter whilst humming Golden by Fall Out Boy.  
She tweeted.   
@thatemoMichelle: there’s no sunshine this impossible year. Only heartbreak and heartache and gin full of tears.  
She sniffled whipping away her tears.  
What just happened? Just earlier that morning, she and Brendon were figuring out plans for the rest of the week and now she’s at the airport about to leave America once again. Hadn’t he come to save her?   
No. He only seemed to destroy her.  
What was the sudden mood swing? Will there be a call tomorrow full of apologies, trying to convince her to come home? Will she call and ask what happened? And if he asked her to come back, would she?  
Her phone vibrated in her hands. She looked to see Mikey was calling her. Nation ignored the call, sinking back into the chair. One after another, her loved ones continued to send worried text messages, some trying to call. She ignored them all.  
It rang once again, and this time she choked back a sob. Nation was receiving sympathetic looks from strangers.  
They’re not sorry. How could they? They don’t know what you’re going through.  
I voice rang out in her head. She frowned before finally pressing the answer button on her phone.  
“Josh,” She said quietly.  
“Can I go beat the shit out of him?” He asked, he seemed livid, though worried. “I’m just kidding. But, do you want to fly out here? You can stay with us.”  
“No. No. I’m already flying out to Dan. He offered to let me stay there until I figure something out,” She told him. “I might just move out there to be honest.”  
“But you’ll be so far away,” Josh whined. “We’ve got the spare bedroom and besides Tyler and Jenna are thinking about getting a place together anyway.”  
“I’m sorry, it’s ju-“  
“No, don’t worry about it. I’m sorry. I know you don’t exactly want to be in Jersey right now.”  
“Hell, I don’t even want to be in America.”  
Josh sighed. “I’m sorry, Nation.”  
“Stop fucking apologizing it wasn’t your fault,” She told him just as they called her flight. She stood up, picking up her carry on.  
“Well it’s not yours either. Listen to me, Nation, you need to-“  
Nation cut him off. “My flight’s boarding. I’ll let you know when I’ve landed.”

**

Nation wondered the airport looking for her best friend. She dragged her large suitcase behind her and held her coffee in the other. He had to be here somewhere. It was two am, but Dan had promised her he’d come pick her up. He’d never break a promise.  
“Michelle!” She heard someone shout. Nation spun on her heels and sighed when she saw the tall brunette. She crossed the large space between them and wrapped her arms around his middle.  
Dan hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before resting his chin in the same spot. “Welcome to England. Terrible circumstances but it’s great to see you.”  
She gave a small smiling and disheartened laughed. “Good to see you too, Bear. Can we go home now? I’m tired and just…I’m just-“  
“Sad?”  
She sighed, hanging her head. “Unfortunately.”  
He nodded before taking her suitcase from her. He slipped his hand into her own and led her towards the exit.

**

“Shh. Phil and Mya are asleep,” He told her as they entered the flat. She gave him a worried look. “Don’t worry, they know you’re here. Now come on, you have to share with me.”  
Nation nodded before following him down the hallway. He turned right into his room, flipping on the lights. He set Nation’s suitcase down in the corner before slipping off his shoes and tossing them into the corner of the room. Nation closed the door behind her, coping his actions before face-planting on the bed. She let out a groan.  
Dan now copied her actions, face-planting next to her. She rolled over onto her side to face him and he did the same.  
“Thank you,” She said quietly, careful as to not wake the lovely couple in the room over.  
“You didn’t even have to ask,” He replied. “Now get changed, I know you’re tired.” She nodded, yawning as she got off the bed and went over to his suitcase. She glared at the large bag. Dan chuckled. “Here,” he said and reached into a drawer, pulling out one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. “I kept these for when you came around.”  
Nation chuckled as she held them up to herself. The old Fall Out Boy shirt was only a size to large and the grey sweats would only be slightly baggy on her. “How old are these?”  
“I distinctly remember you wearing them when they still fit me,” He smiled as he pulled out some sweatpants for himself. “And that was literally a few days after your parents got engaged.”  
She paused, “You kept them all these years?”  
“Yeah,” he laughed.  
“Why?”  
“Because I knew you’d want to steal some sweatpants and complain when they were twenty feet to long on you,’ Dan replied with a laughed before slipping off his shirt and changing into the black sweatpants he pulled out.  
Nation shook her head. “You’re ridiculous,” She replied as she changed into the clothes, going ahead and tossing the ones she was wear in the laundry bin.  
“You ever learn how to do laundry?” Dan asked out of curiosity.  
“I will kill you in your sleep.”  
Dan stifled a laugh as Nation crawled into the right side of the bed. She buried herself under the duvet and snuggled her face into the pillow.  
“That’s my side,” Dan chuckled as he flipped the light switch before crawling into the empty space next to her.  
“Boo-fucking-hoo.”  
Dan smiled, rolling his eyes as he got himself comfortable. She wasn’t actually on his preferred side of the bed. He just liked messing with her. He was lying on his back, facing the ceiling as he scrolled through Tumblr on his phone. He felt her shiver from beside him. Dan turned his head to look at her.  
Her back was to him and she was curled up in a ball.  
“You can come over here, you know,” Dan chuckled.  
He heard her sigh in relief. “Oh thank Cobain,” Nation said as she rolled over and snuggled into Dan’s side, searching for warmth. She relaxed content with that fact that he was radiating enough body heat to sustain them both.  
“Night, Nation.”  
“Night, Bear.”

 

**

The next day, Nation awoke to the smell of pancakes.  
“Mmm, pancakes,” Nation smiled, her voice scratchy from sleep.  
She felt Dan chuckle, “Morning to you too.” Nation quickly noticed that she was half on top of Dan with her arms wrapped tightly around him. She moved away laughing. “Don’t worry. I only just woke up.”  
Nation looked towards the door as Phil scuffed, “yeah, like two hours ago. He made me bring him his coffee.”  
“Coffee?”   
The sound of her favorite noun made her overlook the fact that Dan had stayed for two hours, unmoving just so that she could continue to sleep. Nation hurried out of bed and left the room, heading towards the kitchen.  
“Wrong way,” Both boys called after her, causing her to spin on her heel and head the correct direction.  
She marched into the kitchen and smiled when she saw Mya stood in front of the stove, flipping pancakes.  
“Coffee’s still in the pot,” The short girl said, not bothering to turn around. “Hello, by the way. Always great to see my favorite emo.”  
“Always great to see my favorite Kiedis,” Nation replied as she went and rummaged around in the cabinets until she found the mugs. She pulled out Dan’s rubix cube mug, wondering if she’d finally figure out how to drink out of it. She poured her coffee, not bothering to add anything to it as she became to drink her life saver. “You know. I’ve literally had people come up to me and say that I’m the reason they’re alive. I think the reason I’m alive is coffee.”  
“Way logic,” Phil chuckled as he entered the room. He came up before Mya, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “Morning, love. Thanks for breakfast.”  
“It’s two, Philly,” Mya laughed, tilting her head back to look up at him. He smiled, leaning down to peck her lips before going to make himself another cup of coffee.  
Nation squealed a smile forming on her face just as Dan walked into the room. “SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP!”  
Dan smirked. “OTP.”  
“Oh same, “ Mya giggled. “So, now that Wurie’s dead when’s Dation gunna be cannon. Huh?”  
Nation’s smile vanished and her mouth forms a small ‘o’ her head falling. Dan frowned coming up to hug her from behind, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He whispered in her ear, “He’s a dick. Just ignore Mya for now.”  
For now? What the hell are you implying Daniel? Nation thought to herself, brow furrowed. Could she be with Dan one day?  
Pttf. No. They’ve been friends for too long.

 

**

 

Nation was curled up in Dan’s bed, her laptop burning her legs as she edited her latest video. She hadn’t spoken to her father in months, the only updates she got on the band came from Link and occasionally Frank. Dan and Phil were out filming a video was Chris and Peej whilst Mya was out running errands.   
A notification popped up in the corner of the screen, telling her Frank had just logged onto Skype. A moment later, he called her. She rolled her eyes but answered the video call anyway.  
“Hi, Frank,” Nation greeted, her voice emotionless. She hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, only texted back and forth.  
He didn’t smile either. “Hey, Nation. I saw your last video. I like your new tattoo.”  
She turned her head to the left to give him a better few of the symbol on her neck. It was her killjoy symbol, the lilac beaker stood out against her black t-shirt. Around it read: I am not the singer that you wanted by a dancer. I refuse to answer. Talk about the past, sir, wrote for the ones that want to get away.  
“Thanks. Thought it was appropriate,” She shrugged.  
He chuckled. “Good luck getting a different job. Now you’re stuck with us.”  
This caused her to grin. “So, can I come back?”  
He nodded. “I was supposed to try and convince you to come back, since you don’t seem to be talking to Gee right now.”  
Her smile vanished at the sound of his name.  
Frank sighed, rubbing his brow. “Yes, he’s an idiot. I know. Just – come home, Nation. Link’s been babbling about you for the last few days. He wants you to teach him how to drum apparently. I don’t know. Kid’s shit at guitar man. You should have seen him. Actually, I think Ray recorded it.”  
“Yeah, Link was telling me about that,” Nation laughed. “Apparently he wasn’t coordinated enough.”  
“Not at all.”  
“So, when’s the next tour?” Nation asked. “I’ll fly out a few days before hand so we can run through sets.”  
“Next month. You can bring Brendon if you want. Maybe come earlier to see Tyler and Josh,” He told her. Her face fell and Frank became concerned. “Do I need to know what happened or can I just beat him in now?”  
She shook her head. “Don’t ask. It’s over that’s all that matters. It’s why I’ve been at Dan’s for so long. I’m surprised he hasn’t kicked me out,” Nation chuckled. “I’ll come out early anyway. I do miss those idiots.”  
He nodded. “Alright then,” He glanced behind him and Nation could her the faint sound of Bandit crying out. “What the fuck? I gotta go take care of that apparently. Bye, Nation. Love you.”  
“Love you too, Frank. See you soon.” And with that she ended the call and went back to editing her video.

 

**

 

Nation pulled her luggage behind her quickly moving through the large crowd of people in the airport. She had her eyes out for Frank. He had sent her a text saying that he was towards the entrance. Her eyes scanned the area for the man with no luck.  
She let out a sigh of relief when her eyes settled on another familiar face. Sitting a bench outside the restrooms was her younger brother, Link. Nation pushed her way through the crowd and approached the thirteen year old. His blue eyes snapped up from his phone and settled onto her. He grinned standing up and giving her a large bear hug.   
It was odd, her being the older sibling. He was thirteen and already taller than her by a good five inches, making him just barely shorter than Frank.  
“Where’s Frank?” Nation asked as she pulled away.  
“Bathroom. Thought Dan was coming with you?” The ginger said confused, looking around for the tall Brit.  
Nation chuckled. “He’s flying out like two days before we leave for tour. He’s not quite sure how to tell Mya and Phil that he’s gunna disappear for a few months and aggressively wear his old black parade uniform. You know, I had never realized that it was actually too big on him. Lucky really.”  
Link grinned. “Yeah, Pops designed me a uniform to wear too. It’s just some jeans and blue t-shirt but I’ve got like a small version of his jacket but with like a flame thingy on the back.”  
“What’s your killjoy name?” Nation asked curiously.  
“Don’t got one. I’m too lazy for that shit.”  
Nation snorted just as a small man slammed into her. The breath was knocked from her lungs and it took her a moment to realize it was Frank. “Holy fuck. Dad!”  
Frank giggled as he pulled away, giving her a once over. “Hey, Nation. Damn you’ve grown a lot sense I’ve seen you.”  
“It’s been four months. I couldn’t have changed that much.”  
“More tattoos. That’s the equivalent of growing up in my book.” Nation shook her head as Frank grabbed her suitcase from her. “Hate to break it to you, but Link stole your old room and Bandit took over the guest bedroom. I hope you like that couch.”  
Nation grinned. “Your tv is fucking huge I’m gunna have some great four am kingdom heart binges. Let’s go!”  
“You brought your PS2?!” Link said excited.  
“Fuck yeah, I did.”

 

**

 

“Nation, what are you even doing?” Dan asked, his voice protruding from the speakers of the girls laptop.  
“Playing Kingdom Hearts 2. Tyler and Josh are currently making nachos in the kitchen, hoping my parents don’t mind. The usual, basically. I was thoroughly surprised when they went to bed at like ten. Like, what the hell?” Nation rambled, her eyes next leaving the screen. Her leg bounced up and down as Sora got the shit beat out of him. She really needed to equip some more of his abilities.  
“Maybe it’s cause of your siblings?” Tyler suggested as he and Josh entered the room once again. He held the nachos whilst Josh carried three cokes.  
“Could be that,” Dan agreed. “My parents always passed out at about eleven when my younger sister was still really little. As she got older though, they stay up later, so sneaking out got harder.”  
“You used to sneak out?”   
Dan chuckled. “Not very successfully. Honestly though, it was more sneaking in than it was out.” He paused as if someone had spoken to him. “I’m skyping, Michelle,” He replied and Nation sat up a bit. “Michelle wave hello to the camera,” Dan laughed as he turned his mac so that Nation could see Mya standing in the doorway, holding a camera.  
“Mya!” Nation squealed excitedly. “My favorite Kiedis! What the fuck are you doing awake at four am?”   
“What time is it by you?” She asked curiously, her head tilted to the side.  
“Like midnight. So, no big deal. Why are you filming?”  
“Oh, Phil wanted me to chase him down the hallway for a video but after discovering that I’m too short, I came to steal Dan. Figured it’d be funny for some bloopers at the end,” She explained and Nation shrugged. “Anyway, hate to break it to you, but I’ve got to steal your boyfriend.”  
Dan rolled his eyes at the comment but smiled nonetheless. “I’ll see you in a couple days, okay?”  
Nation grinned. “Fuck yeah. I can’t wait. It’ll be so great. I don’t think you’ve seen me preform sense the Black Parade.”  
“Nope. I’m excited. Hopefully none of our fans recognize us.”  
Nation chuckled. “They literally have photos of my face but no one has ever put together the pieces I think you’ll be fine.”  
“You haven’t seen the power of the phandom then.”  
“Let them try,” She smiled.

**

“Woah, big bus,” Dan commented as he and Nation finally boarded. The rest of the family had already boarded. Link had already taken over the couch and was patiently waiting for the Xbox to load. Bandit was sitting in his lap, trying to grab hold of the controller as he laughed, pulling it away.  
Frank was sitting on the opposite side of the couch, holding up his phone as he snapped pictures of his children. He heard Dan and turned, taking several pictures of both Nation and Dan. “Hey. We’re just waiting on Ray.”  
Nation nodded and looked around the bus. She spotted Gerard in the small kitchen area (it really was just a microwave and coffeepot) making himself a cup of coffee. “Where’s Uncle Mikey?”  
“Back here!” She heard her uncle call from the bunks. She smiled and laughed as she opened the door leading to the bunks, Dan close on her tail.   
“This is different,” Nation remarked as they entered the bunk area. Instead of the section having six bunks, it had four.  
“Yeah, Ray’s gunna be in here with me and the rest of the family’s in the next one. If you keep going through past the soon to be room of death,” Mikey began to explain causing a look of confusion from Dan, “there’s another bunk area and there’s only two bunks and a shit ton of storage space but I don’t think the rest of the guys know about it yet so run like the wind, Bullseye.”  
Nation laughed, “Thanks, Uncle Mikey.”  
“Room of death?” Dan laughed as they continued through the bus, passing through her family’s bunks and into a space where there were a couple suitcases and a few extra guitars.  
“Yeah,” Nation laughed. “You know how I can’t do laundry?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Well, neither can they. Surprise, I know. We usually where the same thing every concert so they get tossed in here. Although, I think this time it’ll just be our jackets because honestly as cute as they are those shorts aint gunna work. Oh, you remembered your old black parade uniform right?” She asked.  
“Yeah, it’s in my bag.”  
“Forget it, we got you a Danger Days jacket and mask. And we, means, I. So, don’t go thanking them, It was my idea,” She laughed as she pushed open the door to the back bunks.  
Dan laughed, shaking his head. “That honestly doesn’t surprise me. Anyway, nice place,” He said.  
“Yeah, less people to snore and make fun of you when you fall out of your bunk at three am whilst trying to get up and pee.” He raised an eyebrow as he dropped his suitcase, leaving it in the open space below the bunk on the right. Nation copied his actions on the left. “What? You know I’m clumsy. Combine it with a moving vehicle and it gets fifty billion times worse.”  
Dan shook his head laughing as he hopped up into his bunk. Nation looked between the floor and the bunk above her. She rolled her eyes before opening one of the drawers off to the side and using it as a step to get into her bunk. She pulled out her phone and frown before shouting, “GUYS WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD!?”  
“WHAT SHE SAID?!” Dan shouted as well causing her to chuckle.  
Gerard entered the space, brow furrowed, “WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?”  
“Wifi.”  
“Howell Iero Toro Way. No spaces, capitalize first letter of each name,” Gerard told them, Nation quickly went to her wifi settings and scrolled through the options looking for the familiar name, “And yes we’re still Batmobile.”  
“That’s brilliant. Although, our flat’s Team Rocket HQ,” Dan reminds Nation with a laugh and she grins.  
“Yeah, that is great. Still, nothing beats theirs.”  
“What’s yours?”  
Gerard smiled. “Hogwarts and then the password is alohomora. My daughter’s a genius.”  
“I know,” Nation grinned. “Anyway, what’s up?”  
“Just wanted to say we’re about to leave. We’re heading straight to our first venue, there won’t be a hotel stop until after the fourth concert. Dates our posted outside the bathroom like always.”  
She nodded and with that he left the room. Dan waited a moment before speaking. “You seemed to get on well.”  
Nation paused what she doing and shot a glare at her best friend. “I’m still pissed at him.”  
“Damn you can hold a grudge.”  
“Yup,” She gave a sarcastic grin, “it’s one of my many talents.”  
“I’m aware. Remind me to never piss you off.”  
“Never piss me off.”  
Dan chuckled sending her a smile, “you know what I mean…oh, Phil messaged me on Facebook. He says an hour after I left he broke a bowl and Mya aggressively cleaned the kitchen for three hours. Apparently it’s a sign we’re never allowed to leave again.”  
Nation giggled. “Phil’s so clumsy and forgetful whilst she’s such a neat freak they’ll do nothing but argue over his socks for the rest of time.”  
“That was funny though.”  
“Next time it happens we need to record it. That was some good shit right there man.”

 

**

A few weeks later, Dan and Nation quickly got dressed for the next concert. Dan changed out of his sweatpants and hoodie and into a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey t-shirt before pulling on his new jacket. It was identical to Nation’s although his symbol was red and was anti-fire. He picked up his mask, which was just black leather with an elastic band to keep it in place.  
Nation changed out of her sweats and Dan’s eclipse shirt and into a pair of black shorts and a Pretty. Odd. T-shirt. She pulled her jacket over her shoulders and picked up her mask, shoving it in her pocket for now. She then pulled on orange high top converse and laced them up.  
Dan eyed her shirt.  
“You’re still cool with wearing that?” Dan asked.  
She shrugged. “It’s a t-shirt, besides, it’s not like it’s not my album too.”  
He nodded in agreement as she grabbed a small bag that contained her makeup and hairbrushes. She sat down beneath her bunk and began using the mirror she had duck taped to the wall. She quickly did her makeup, using purple eyeshadow and blue eyeliner to make her jacket. She then started combing her hair.  
“I need a fucking haircut. This shit is down to my chin. Like what the fuck,” Nation complained as she examined her hair. Dan sat down next to her on the floor plugging in his flat iron. Thankful that he can do that on the bus. “And my roots are coming in. Fucking hell. I’m done with this shit. This color is killing me anyway. I should just get a haircut and redie it.”  
“What color?” Dan asked curiously as he watched her play with her hair.  
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d say red by my Dad has red now so that’s a no.”  
“Why does that effect what you do?”  
“Uh, cause I’m currently pissed at my Dad.”  
“Why though? I mean, I know he shipped you off to us and everything. But he was just worried. You know that right?” Dan replied as he picked up his now hot flat iron and began doing his hair.  
She shook her head. “Yeah, I know. But I got pissed at him and made the decision to continue being pissed at him until he apologizes and I got my stubbornness from him so with our luck I’ll never speak to him unless we’re on stage or something important happens.”  
“Like what?”  
“Well, for example wifi. Then hotels, my siblings and Frank’s birthday, recordings, stuff like that,” She told him.  
He shook his head. “Is it bad that Danger Days just came out and I’m already excited for the next album?”  
“No. I wrote one of the song that we’ve been working on and according to Uncle Mikey and Uncle Ray it’s like guaranteed to be on the album so I’m excited. I haven’t written anything for My Chem album yet. I mean, I wrote the Light Behind Your Eyes but that was only for the third EP.”  
He grinned. “You should play it for me sometime.”  
She laughed. “Yeah. I’m done with singing,” She told him and his brow furrowed as he stopped what he was doing.  
“Why? You have a beautiful voice.”  
Nation looked at him in the mirror as she started placing her things back in her bag. “I just don’t have the drive to right now. I’ll always just be back up for My Chem and with Panic! I shared the role. There was no lead singer. There were two of us. I think I’d just feel a little uncomfortable to sing by myself.”  
Dan nodded understanding before finishing up his hair and unplugging his flat iron. He then stood to his feet towering over Nation as he offered her a hand. “Ready to go fool a thousand people over who we are?”  
“It’s an everyday event for me. Let’s do this.”

**

The lights of the stadium turned off and Nation slipped on my mask as she twirled her drum stick between her fingers nervously. She wore a headset so that she could speak without having to using a microphone. Dan stood on the opposite side of the stage where he would have a good view of the band.  
“Ready, kiddo?” Ray asked her as he grabbed his guitar.  
She grinned. “As I’ll ever be, Toro.”  
“Nation Way, it’s go time,” A voice came through her ear piece. She grinned winking at Ray before running out on stage. She hopped up to her drum kit, standing up on her stool. The drummer made sure she had both sticks held tightly in her hands as she adjusted the mic so that it was at her lips.  
“Like alive, Sunshine,” She stretched, her voice coming through the speakers. She still remembered when Mikey suggested Nation do it as a way to reintroduce her to the fans again.   
The fans screamed as she spoke. Sparks went off as a spotlight came down on her, she threw her fist in the air.  
“109 in the sky but the pigs won’t quick. You’re here with me: Dr. Death Defying. I’m being your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter, pumpin’ out those slaughtermatic sounds that keep you live. System failure for the masses, antimatter for the master plan. Loud than gods revolver and twice as shiny,” She eyed her family as she saw their shadows as they moved out onto the stage. “This one’s for all you rock’n’rollers. All you crash queens and moterbabies. Listen up!”   
Ray and Frank began playing as she continued.  
“This future is bulletproof! The aftermath is secondary! It’s time to do it now and do it loud,” She smirked before jumping down as she shouted her last line. “Killjoys, let’s make some noise!”  
She sat down and instantly went into the beginning of her part. The crowd screamed back the lyrics as Gerard began to sing and Nation couldn’t help but grin. She had missed this.

 

**

Nation came off stage covered in sweat. She bent over and tucked her sticks into the side of her shoes and Dan raised an eyebrow at the action before shaking his head. Nation slipped off her jacket and whipped sweat from her face before finally looking up at Dan.  
“That was exhausting,” She declared, breathing heavily. The girl saw her Dad and uncles putting up their instruments whilst her other Dad handed over his mic to one of the sound technicians.  
“Looked like it,” Dan laughed, as she tied her jacket around her waist. She uncapped it and took a sip. “Is this what it’s like after a show? People come and hand you shit without you even having to ask?”  
“Occasionally,” Nation replied with a laughed before nodding in the direction of her family. “Let’s grab them and get back to the bus. I whooped.”  
Nation grabbed Dan’s hand and dragged him towards the men.   
Mikey quickly took notice to her presence and smiled at her. “Hey, Nation. The guys and I are gunna get some pizza you two wanna come?”  
Nation looked at Dan with pleading eyes. It was obvious she only wanted to crawl in bed.  
Dan looked back at Mikey. “No thanks. I think both of us are a bit tired. Don’t hesitate to bring us leftovers though.”  
“Sure thing,” Mikey grinned, “I’ll see you two later then. Bye, Dan. Bye, Little Mikey.” He leant down a pressed a quick kiss to her head before leaving the two alone.  
The two looked at each other before Dan smirked. “Come on then.”  
Hand in hand they made their way back to the bus. Nation quickly punched in the password, 10-23-91. Before the two headed into the bus.  
“Is it bad that I just realized the password to the bus is your birthday?” Dan asked as they reached the back room outside of their bunks. Nation tossed her jacket into her corner whilst kicking off her shoes.  
“Probably,” She replied whilst slipping off her shorts and t-shirt.  
“Why are you stripping out here?”  
Nation smiled as laughed as she tossed the clothes into the same corner before heading back into their bunks. She tossed her converse under her bunk and grabbed a pair of sweats and a Green Day tank top.  
“Because those cloths smell like fucking shit and I’d appreciate keeping the smell out there, rather than in here,” She explained to the boy. “If you’d stayed longer last night you would have learned that.”  
Dan shook his head as he tossed his jacket under his bunk along with his mask and shoes. “True. It’s kind of interesting though.”  
“What?” Nation asked as he once again used the drawer as a step into her bunk.  
“The way you live whilst on tour is completely different from how you are at our flat. Here you have such an order and know where everything is and when everything is happening. You know what to do and say at just the right times. You have simple solutions to what normal people would just sit there and complain about,” Dan spoke. Nation crossed her arms and listened intently as she looked across at the brunette. “But, at the flat you’re all over the place. You never know where anything is, always forgetting events and chorus, and seem to be in general chaos ninety percent of the time. Especially if you have yet to have coffee that day. There’s such a huge contrast between you there and you here.”  
Nation smiled as she realized how right he was. She shrugged. “I guess it’s because this has been such a huge part of my life. I’ve grown up on a tour bus. My home’s never the same. Having to stay in one place stresses me out for some odd reason, that’s why I was so eager to come back to tour.”  
“That’s quite funny,” Dan chuckled. “Your state of perfection is my state of chaos. Quite ironic.”  
“Very.”

**

A few weeks later, Dan sat in his bunk scrolling through Tumblr whilst Nation wrote in an old composition notebook. She was near the back and looked as if it wouldn’t close do to the amount of writing that’s been done in it. Dan glanced up at her every once in a while, watching as she’d giggle to herself after writing something or when she furiously scribbled something out.  
“What are you doing?” He finally asked, not recognizing the book. He knew when she was writing a song, because it was always in her old spiral notebook, but he didn’t recognize this one.  
She glanced up at him before her eyes went back to the paper as she completed her thought. “I’m writing.”  
“Well I can see that,” Dan chuckled as his eyes went back to his screen. “What about? That’s not the journal you use when writing a song.”  
Nation’s pen froze, mid-word as she glanced over at him with a smirk tugging on her lips. No one had ever noticed the difference in the notebooks until now. Her family had always assumed she was writing a song. “A book.”  
Dan perked up at this. “Really? What’s it about?”  
“It’s hard to explain. It’s sort of like Danger Days in a sense but less of the individuality thing and more like Donald Trump ended up president and now the world’s shit kind of thing. There’s these four kids, the main character, Electric Cyanide, and then her friends Red Hot, Cherry Bomb, and Septic Egg.”  
“Septic Egg?” Dan questioned with a laugh.  
“Shush. I’m talking. Anyway, the three of them are called the Four Horsemen and they’re kind of the big shots of this giant Civil War kind of thing and the bad guy, Drewth, kidnaps Red Hot’s dad, Chili Pepper, and the rest of her family. So, Cyanide gets really pissed off because she’s really protective over her friends and doesn’t like when people mess with them and their families. So, they go on this search to get her family back. And throughout the story Cyanide thinks she’s this hero and suddenly has to start making these really difficult decisions. Then, by the end of the story you finally realize that the whole time you’ve thought that you’ve been reading this story from the eyes of the hero when in fact it’s the villain and her easily manipulated friends.”  
“Fuck. That’s good.”  
“I know right! This is gunna be the shit.”  
“Seriously though, I want to read that eventually,” Dan told her with a grin. “I hope I make a cameo.”  
She laughed. “Dan, if you were in this you’d be dead already.”  
“True.”  
They went back to a comfortable silence glancing at each other every few minutes as if to assure that the other was still there, though never realizing the other was looking. Dan couldn’t help himself and pulled out his phone, snapping a picture of her before going to twitter.  
@danisnotonfire: she’s writing a book Im almost concerned.  
(picture attached)  
A second later, Nation’s phone went off and she picked it up. “Fuck you, Howell.”  
“Been there, done that.”  
“Well then I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that you want seconds,” She smirked as his lips formed a line whilst he turned bright red, unsure as to how to respond. “Thought so.” And with that, Dan heard a click before the sound of her tapping at the keyboard on her phone.  
“Did you just record that?”  
“Yup,” She grinned as she pressed one last button.  
Dan’s phone buzzed.  
@thatemoMichelle: He thought he was smooth  
Instantly, their fans started replying with questions. They all wanted to know why they haven’t posted in the last three months and where the hell they were. It was pretty obvious they weren’t back in England.  
“Fuck. What do we tell them?” Dan asked with a worried expression.  
Nation shrugged before tossing her phone to the side and picking up her pen once again. “Nothing.”  
“We can’t just not say anything.”  
“And why’s that?” Nation raised an eyebrow. “It’s not their business what we do with our lives. They don’t have to know where we are every minute of the day. We’re entitled to our own privacy.”  
“Nation. What if they figure out that we’re on a bloody tour bus? This fandom is the smartest fandom I’ve ever seen and most of them are bloody emo. They’ll connect the dots.”  
The girl shook her head. “No they won’t. It’s staring them right in the face and that’s why they won’t. They’ll look into ever little tiny detail and be totally oblivious to actual answer because they think it’s hidden behind a wall of tiny little clues.”  
Dan shook his head. “If you say so.”

**

“Hey,” Frank said as he poked his head into Dan and nation’s bunks a few days later. “We’re about to stop at a hotel for like three days. We’ve got a show tomorrow but we have enough time to stop and hang out for a bit. Sound good to you?”  
Nation and Dan exchanged smiles. “Fuck yeah,” Nation chuckled, “It’s been like a week sense my last shower. I’m hype.”  
“Same.”  
“Great,” Frank nodded. “We’ll be there in an hour. We’ve only got three rooms this time, you’re rooming together.” With that, he left.  
Dan looked across at Nation. “When don’t we room together?”  
“Good question.”

**

“Wanna film a video?” Dan asked suddenly, breaking the silence. Once they arrived in their hotel room, both took showers before changing into sweat pants and hoodies before browsing through Tumblr. They both laid side by side in the browsing position for three hours.  
“Eh. Sure.”  
They closed their laptops and Dan went over to his suitcase in the corner of the room, and rummaged around before pulling out a camera and a tripod.  
“That is by far, the smallest tripod I’ve ever seen,” Nation laughed. He opened it up and she frowned. “I stand corrected. Come on, we can balance it on a bible and have it on the bed across from us.”  
Nation slid opened the drawer of the nightstand between the two beds and pulled out the Bible that the hotels always leave there. She placed it on the bed before flopping down back onto the other bed where they had just been laying. She watched with joyful eyes as Dan struggled to balance the camera on the Bible before pressing record.  
“Finally,” Nation said as she sat up, moving herself so that she was sitting cross-legged, “a good use for The Bible.”  
Dan chuckled. “If you say so. Hello Internet. I’m Dan and today I’m here with Michelle Parker, otherwise known as thatemoMichelle. And currently, we are in a hotel using a bible as a table. Like seriously, if you could see this. I have my camera on the tripod and then the tripod on the bible. And then the bible is on the bed, so tada, I have learned to use my resources.”  
“Congrats. You’ve learned how to take credit for my ideas,” Nation said with a sarcastic grin as she looked at the camera before raising her eyebrows at Dan.  
He sheepishly grinned. “Love you.”  
“Lies,” She shook her head. “Anyway, you didn’t even tell me what we’re doing before turning on the camera.”  
“Oh, I figured we could tell them why the hell we’re in a hotel in… fuck where are we?” Dan asked. Nation shrugged. “How do you not know where we are? Bloody hell, what day is it even?” He checked his phone. “Bloody hell it’s August?! I missed my bloody birthday and didn’t even notice!?”  
“Did we?” Nation asked as she leaned over to look at the date. “Oh, look at that. We’ve been gone sense May. It’s been three months sense we left. Oh fuck, are Phil and Mya even alive?!”  
She quickly leaned over and picked up her laptop, opening it and clicking on the skype icon. She waited for it to load before aggressively pressing the call button on Phil’s contact. A moment later, Phil’s face appeared on the screen. Nation sighed in relief.  
“Don’t worry,” Nation sighed, “Phil’s alive. Wait, Phil, is Mya alive?” Mya leaned over into view and Nation realized they were curled up on the couch in the lounge.  
“Hey, guys. Glad to know you care so much about us,” Mya grinned.  
“It’s been three bloody months, I didn’t even notice a change in temperature,” Dan exclaimed.  
“Dan, we’ve been driving all around the US, the temperature varies from place to place you literally couldn’t have,” Nation explained and a look of realization dawned upon him. She looked back up at the camera. “And this week on Dan and I are idiots who can’t keep track of the date or how long it’s been sense we talked to our flat mates.”  
“I love how we talk to Josh and Tyler almost nightly yet we never seem to be bright enough to skype these two,” Dan said.  
“Yeah. Thanks for that,” Phil chuckled. “Don’t worry, we’re not bad. Just miss you. When are you coming home?”  
“That is… a good question. Dan text my Dad,” Nation told her friend.  
“Which one?”  
“The nice one.”  
“Yeah which one?”  
She rolled her eyes. “The short one.”  
He nodded before grabbing his phone and sending a quick text. A moment later, he received a response. “That was quick. Uh, apparently right after Reading.”  
“Fuck isn’t that next week?”  
“I think so.”  
“Damn. We’re gunna have to go home. Oh, wait never mind, You’re going home,” Nation clarified. “I promised the guys I’d go visit them back home. Ty need help writing and our brother’s an idiot.”  
“Fun.”  
“Very.”  
“This video is just one giant train wreck isn’t it,” Dan laughed.  
Nation nodded. “There’s your title.”  
“Nice.”  
“Very.”  
“Is that all you can say?”  
“Very.”  
Dan looked at the camera whilst pointing at Nation. “Do you see what I have to live with?”


	18. Chapter 18

Dan and Nation sat side by side on a bench in the middle of the airport. The tour had finished yesterday and the guys flight for Jersey were the day before. Dan and Nation had stayed the night in California instead, and scheduled their flights for today. Dan’s flight would leave in half an hour whilst Nation’s was in two.  
“You know I have to sit here for an hour and a half all alone right?” Nation said as she pulled her phone out of her pocket, clicking on Twitter.  
Dan chuckled. “You’re the one that bought our tickets. So, you’re the only one at fault.”  
“True.”  
“Excuse me.”  
Both of their heads snapped up before they smiled. There stood a young teenage girl wearing black skinny jeans and a Danger Days t-shirt. In her hands seemed to be her laptop.   
“Sorry to interrupt, but you don’t happen to be Michelle Parker and Dan Howell, do you?”  
Dan and Nation exchanged grins as they stood up. “That’ll be us,” Nation smiled as she opened her arms. “What’s your name?”  
“I’m Valery,” She said before hugging Nation and then Dan. “Do mind signing my laptop? And maybe taking a picture.”  
“Not at all,” Dan said as he patted his pockets for a sharpie, but was surprised that Nation casually pulled one out of her converses. “Bloody hell, what are you gunna pull out of your shoes next? A million pound.”  
She signed the laptop before handing Dan the sharpie and leaning down to pull out her wallet. “Tada. Any other requests.”  
Valery’s brow furrowed though she laughed.   
“Tom Hiddleston?”  
“I wish.”

**

Dan checked the time before sighing and leaning over to rest his head atop Nation’s. She sighed as well, knowing what time it was as well.  
“It’ll only be a week,” Dan said, more as an order than a statement. He knew Nation’s tendency to stay longer than expected.  
Nation chuckled. “Come on, Bear. You know I’ll come home. Besides, you can come and pick me up yourself if you have to. Either way, you might have to stabilize Phil and Mya before I come home because I’m not waking up every morning to them making out.”  
“Oh no,” Dan groaned. “I knew we shouldn’t have just left the flat to them for that long. They’re probably used to no one being around at this point. I swear if I walk in on them I will personally call you and describe every detail to you.”  
He stood up just as Nation cringed. “Please don’t.”  
Dan wrapped his arms around Nation, not wanting to let her go. “Bye, Nation. I’ll see you when you get home. Tell the boys I said hello.”  
“Bye, Bear.” Nation leant up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before watching as she reluctantly left her, heading towards his flight.  
Neither knew of the video being taken.

**

Nation rolled over in bed, curling into Josh’s side.  
“Josh,” She mumbled.  
“What?”  
“What time is it?”  
“Uh, like four am.” She groaned, burying herself in his chest. He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her. “Why did we drink three monsters?”  
He could hear the frown in her voice, “Cause we’re stupid. This is bad. I’m supposed to help Tyler write tomorrow.”  
Josh chuckled, “Not like you actually have to go anywhere.”  
“True.”  
“Get some sleep. I know you didn’t sleep on the flight over here.”

**

“So, what do you got so far?” Nation asked excited the next day. It was around four o clock. Tyler had tried to wake her up at around one but both she and Josh refused to move from their position in bed.  
The two musicians sat in front of his old piano and Nation watched as he began to play.  
“I ponder of something great. My lungs will fill and then deflate they fill with fire, exhale desire. I know it’s dire my time today. I have these thoughts so often I ought to replace that slot with what I once bought cause somebody stole my car radio and now I just sit in silence.” He paused as he continued to play before coming with the lyrics. “Sometimes quiet is violent. I find it hard to hide it. My pride is no longer inside. It's on my sleeve. My skin will scream, reminding me of who I killed inside my dream. I hate this car that I'm driving. There's no hiding for me. I'm forced to deal with what I feel. There is no distraction to mask what is real. I could pull the steering wheel.”  
He went back into the chorus as Nation tapped along to the basic beat, where she thought Josh would be drumming.  
“I ponder of something terrifying, cause this time there’s no sound to hide behind. I find over the cores of human existence one thing consists of consistence. And it's that we're all battling fear. Oh dear, I don't know if we know why we're here,” As he neared the end of the line he looked back over to her, almost expectantly. She shook her head, just going on autopilot.  
Nation said the first things that came to her mind. “Oh my, too deep. Please stop thinking. I liked it better when your car had sound.”  
Tyler grinned, his eyes flying to the piano as he continued to play as if to edge her one.  
She shook her head, thinking for a moment as she looked at the sheet of lyrics she had I nfront of him. She them continued. “There are things we can do, but from the things that work there are only two and from the two that we choose to do. Peace will win and fear will lose. There's faith and there's sleep,” She looked over at Tyler and he grinned after he realized the last line was from what he had written. “We need to pick one please because faith is to be awake.”  
She paused and he sang the next line. “And to be awake is for us to think.”  
She then spoke. “And for us to think is to be alive.”  
“And we will try with every rhyme”  
“To come across like we are dying,” Nation spoke.  
Tyler joined in and said the last line together, “To let you know you need to try to think.”  
They went back into the chorus, singing it together, grinning at each other as they shared the existential crisis. The piano picks up as they sing together, before Tyler starts to shouts. Nation smiles rolling her eyes.  
“And now I just sit in silence!”  
“And now I just sit in silence!” She shouts back.  
“And now I just siiiiit!”  
This repeats before the song comes to a slow and Tyler plays one finally note.  
“You know,” Nation laughed. “I think that’s the fastest I’ve ever written a song. With or without somebody.”  
“I’ve been working on these lyrics for the last year, honestly I should have just shown it to you sooner,” Tyler laughed as he picked up a pencil and began to scribbling down the lyrics she had added. “We’re supposed to go record in a couple weeks. Do you want to fly out? We can sing Car Radio together and we’re planning on putting Kitchen Sink as a bonus track and honestly the first recording we have of that was kind of crap.”  
Nation snorted. “Are you kidding me? You used the one where I stumbled over my part. No one knows what the hell I’m saying but you, Josh and like Zac. Honestly though, you should have let Zac do it instead.”  
“I like you more though,” Tyler whined as he pulled her into a side hug. She smiled and laughed.  
Suddenly, Josh stuck his head into the room with a worried expression on his face. “Hey, uh, Nation, hate to be the bearer of bad news but you may want to take a look at this.” The drummer came over handing Nation a magazine. She gave him a confused look. “I’m sorry, sis.”  
Her brow furrowed before she looked down at the front page of the magazine. Her eyes widened and she dropped the pages from her hands. How did they figure it out?  
On the front cover of the magazine was a clear photo of her and Dan, though his back was to the camera. The title read, “My Chem Drummer, Nation Way, or Internet Star, Michelle Parker? The answer is Both.”  
“Hey, Nation are you-“ Tyler voices faded out as he eyes settled onto the page. “What the fuck? Josh, we gotta go murder someone.”  
Not even a second later, Nation’s phone rang. It was atop the piano and she didn’t even flinch. She seemed to out of it to notice the world around her. Tyler glanced at it, noticing Frank’s ID. He picked it up, answering.  
“Hello.”  
“Tyler?” Frank said confused, though his voice was frantic, “Where’s Nation? I’ve got some news.”  
“She’s right next to me. I’m pretty sure we already know,” he replied and he heard Frank sigh.  
“How’s she holding up?”  
Tyler waved a hand in front of Nation’s face. But she didn’t blink, her eyes stayed locked on the magazine. “Yeah, she’s out of it. What do we do?”  
“For now. Don’t got around town, because they at least know that she’s in Jersey. Her youtube fans know when she’s going back to Manchester. You might have to make sure she changes her flight to a day earlier. I’m gunna call Dan and let him know what’s going on.”  
“I’m pretty sure Dan was one of the first to know. He’s like the king of the internet. He’s probably lying on the floor in the middle of his hallway right now.”  
“True. Make sure Nation’s okay. Buy her a shit ton of ice cream of something. I don’t know. Give her a hug for me will ya?”  
“Yeah, totally,” Tyler nodded as he watch Josh crouch in front of Nation, trying to catch her attention. “I’m gunna go. I’ll talk to you later. ‘kay, Mr. Way?”  
“Alrighty. Bye, Tyler.”  
“Bye.” He hung up the phone as he watched Josh scoop Nation into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing him to carry him from the room. Tyler heard the small woman let out a whimper. The most reaction she’s had to the situation so far.

**

Nation sat on the couch with her knees up to her chest. She hugged her legs, staring off at a random point in the wall.  
“Nation,” Tyler tried to catch her attention. “Nation, please look at me.” He knelt in front of her, hand on her knee. He and Josh shared a look before Josh nodded and left the room. “Josh is gone,” He told her and she almost seemed to relax.  
A tear rolled down her pale cheek.  
That made her whole demeanor change. She sat up straight and took a deep breath as if to try and calm herself. Then she looked at Tyler.  
That was her breaking point. Her shoulders slacked and she let out a whimper as the tears began to waterfall down her cheeks. Tyler sat next to her on the couch and pulled her into a hug, not saying a word. She leaned into his hold, burying her head in the crook of his neck. The singer rubbed circles on her back, trying to comfort her.  
He had never had anyone in her situation before. The boy was unsure how he was to react. So he did the one thing he knew how to. He stayed.  
They sat in each other’s arms for what seemed like eternity until Tyler started to hum a soft tune. Nation pulled away, puzzled.  
“I haven’t heard that before.”  
“I hadn’t written it before,” He chuckled, bringing a small smile to her lips. This caused him to grin. “You know, now I’ll have to write some lyrics for this. I’ll be right back.” He disappeared from the room and Nation sat back in the couch.  
He returned a moment later holding a small journal and a pencil. Tyler picked up a blanket from the love seat before sitting down next to Nation once again. He laid the blanket across their laps before opening the book to a new page. Nation curled up into his side.  
“Got anything?” He asked with raised eyebrows causing her to chuckle.  
She shook her head laughing, before they entered a comfortable silence as they both thought long and hard. It’s harder to write lyrics for a beat than it is to write a beat for lyrics.  
Tyler hummed the tune on repeat before finally writing something.  
I can’t take them on my own, my own  
Pa, I’m not the one you know, you know.  
I have killed a man and all I know  
Is I am on the run and go, and go  
She waited a moment before taking the pen from him. Her neat cursive contrasted greatly with his scribbles he called words.   
Don't wanna call you in the nighttime  
Don't wanna give you all my pieces  
Don't wanna hand you all my trouble  
Don't wanna give you all my demons  
You'll have to watch me struggle  
From several rooms away  
But tonight I'll need you to stay.  
“And this week on we need to tell our brains to shut up,” Tyler joked and Nation gave him a sad look. “And people need to learn to mind their own business.”  
Nation laughed. “Welcome to the life of a performer, Tyler. Once you become really popular suddenly privacy is a luxury.”  
He rested his chin atop her head. “Guess you didn’t get much of that as a kid, huh?”  
She shook her head no. “It’s pretty obvious that I still don’t. Is it bad that I’m scared to go outside?”  
“Me every day.”  
Nation elbowed him in the side. “I’m being serious, Tyler. Like seriously, I don’t know how to handle this. I was used to Youtube fans coming up occasionally but there’s a severe difference between the quantity of those fans to the number of people who like My Chem and Panic! Not to mention all the other stuff I’ve been on.”  
“What else have you been on?” Tyler asked, suddenly confused.  
Nation raised an eyebrow. “You’re telling me you haven’t caught up on my shit? I’m caught up on yours.”  
“You act like Josh and I have been signed sense we were born.”  
“True,” Nation chuckled. “Anyway, I’ve done stuff with Green Day, Fall Out Boy, Patrick Stump with his solo album, Black Veil Brides, and I’m pretty sure there’s a video from somewhere about to resurface from when Panic! was just starting.”  
“Wait what?”  
“Yeah. Forget I said anything about that last part.”

**

Nation grabbed her suitcase from the conveyor belt as she pulled out her phone. She pressed the call button on the contact name, Bear. A few moment later, Dan’s voice came through the speaker.  
“Hey, where are you?’ Dan asked, not bothering to say hello.  
“Just picked up my luggage. Where are you? I want to get out of here as soon as I can,” Nation replied before walking towards the food court.  
“Next to Starbucks. I can see you from like a mile away with your hair,” Dan chuckled.  
Nation grimaced. “I need a haircut. And to dye it a different color. What do you think of dark blue? Kind of like what Phil had.” She smiled as she came closer to the man. He stood from where he was sitting and came towards her, both pocketing their phones.  
“I think it’d look great,” he grinned before engulfing her in a hug. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in bloody years.”  
“Dan, it was less than a week,” Nation chuckled.  
“Yes and within that week I had to face plant in the hallway and had an existential crisis because some as whole took a video of us and revealed your Nation Way,” Dan told her and she groaned.  
“Don’t remind me. I’ve had my existential crisis already. It resulted in a song for Tyler and Josh and then a shit ton of ice cream.”

**

Dan and Nation sat side by side in the lounge as they scrolled through Tumblr. Every once in a while they would nudge each other and show them a post before continuing in a comfortable silence.  
They heard the sound of small footsteps before Mya entered the room, holding a camera. “Oh, look, it’s a young Daniel Howell and Michelle Parker.”  
“You can give up on calling me Michelle,” Nation said with a sighed, shaking her head, “I might as well just change my username.”  
“To what?” Dan asked.  
“I don’t know. ThatemoNation? No, that sounds weird. Uh, I could just change it to EmoPrincessWay like my Twitter,” Nation shrugged. She sighed, closing her laptop as she rolled towards Dan, cuddling into his side.  
Mya lowered the camera and grabbed the Totoro she was looking for before disappearing down the hallway, knowing that Nation was on the verge of an existential crisis and that Dan should probably be the only one present for it.  
“What am I gunna do?” She whined.  
Dan chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her side, pulling her closer. He scrolled up his feed to something he had just read a moment ago. “Look at this,” He told her before reading the post out loud. “I don’t understand why everyone is freaking out about the Nation/Michelle thing. It’s technically none of our business. If she wanted to keep her music/family separate from Youtube that is her own choice. Who ever filmed her and Dan was rude, yada yada ya, more stuff about how the girl was an idiot. Then, even though I’m excited to know that she is indeed both people, I’m just upset for her. If she wanted us to know, she would have told us herself. It’s not as if we hate Nation and love Michelle or vice versa. They’re both her. I just want her to know that we love and support her for everything she does. She shouldn’t have to film a video to address what you are calling a ‘problem.’ So what if she doesn’t? It’s her life.”  
Nation smiled to herself as she rested her head on Dan’s chest, listening to the soothing sound of his voice. “I should make a video though. No explanation or anything though. Just introduce myself with my full name and then continue as normal maybe.”  
“Not a bad idea.”  
“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, enough about my problems. I heard you, Phil, and Mya got offered a job at BBC Radio 1,” Nation grinned, nudging him in the side.  
He chuckled. “Yeah, the three of us were talking how that’s going to work and everything. WE figured it might be a good idea for us to move to London?”  
“You’re asking if I’m going with aren’t you?” She chuckled. He nodded slowly. Nation grinned before ruffling his hobbit hair, “Well, I am you big fool.”  
Dan grinned before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Brilliant. Because we found two flats across from each other and they’re just the right size so we can share one and Phil and Mya are going to share the other. Only thing is…”  
“They’re one bedroom apartments aren’t they?”  
He cringed, “Yeah. We’ll have to share a room, because Mya and I were looking and they second bedroom of our flat would fit a bed and a dresser and I don’t think either of us could live with that. But, on the bright side, we’ll have an office.”  
Nation chuckled. “Sounds lovely.”  
“That was the least American thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” Dan spoke dead pan as a look of horror washed over Nation.  
“Oh no. Oh no, oh no. I’m from Jersey damn it, I shouldn’t have these problems… hey you wanna go with me to buy hair dye?”

**

“Link! Look at my new hair!” Nation grinned as she played with her now bleach blonde hair.  
The ginger boy laughed smiling at his sister. “It looks great, Nation. You match Dad now.”  
Nation chuckled. “Don’t worry. It’s gunna be blue soon enough. Dan’s gunna go with me to get a haircut then it’ll be navy. I can’t wait.”  
“Nice. So, how’s that explanation video going?”  
Nation groaned. “Don’t remind me. I’d rather just curl up in a ball and cry.”  
“Me.”  
“True. How’s home?”  
Link shrugged, adjusting his glasses. “Same old, same old. Bandit does nothing but draw and scream about Dora the Explorer.”  
“Ew.”  
“Yeah, how do you think I feel? I’ve got to live with her,” Link groaned as Nation laughed. “Dad’s done nothing but stay curled up in the office and draw lately whilst Dad kind of revolves around Bandit.”  
“So, nothing new basically?”  
“Yeah pretty much.”

**

Nation sat in front of her camera for a solid five minutes twiddling her thumbs. She had written out what she was going to say, but now that she was in front of the camera, none of that seemed to suffice. Dan was out with Phil and Mya, said something about getting lunch.  
Nation took a breath before her hazel eyes finally met the camera. After months of having abandoned her black eyeliner, her familiar friend had finally returned. That was one result of the My Chem tour ending.   
Her now dark blue hair had been freshly cut, the sides trimmed and her fringe only reaching to a bit past her nose. Nation wears an old Fall Out Boy t-shirt and black jeans with her Danger Days jacket pulled over it. Disenchanted plays softly in the background on repeat.  
“Hey, peasants. My name is Michelle Parker and welcome to my video,” She said with a smile and small solute. She paused, her smile becoming less prominent. “Two weeks ago, you would have heard that and continued on as if nothing was different. Though, today, you know that Michelle Parker is indeed, not my real name. So, I guess it’s time I introduce myself properly.”  
Nation sat up straighter.  
“Hey, peasants. My name is Nation Michelle Helena Way, daughter of Gerard and Frank Way, drummer of My Chemical Romance, and former member of Panic! at the Disco. I am 21 years old and live with my three best friends.”  
She paused, taking another breath. “You guys seem to be freaking out over the fact that I’m actually Nation Way,” She shook her head. “You also seem to think that I’m freaking out because you guys found that out. But that’s not why I’m upset,” She shook her head and her eyes settled on the drawer that contain her band stuff. She stood up and went to the drawer, pulling out four items.  
She sat back down on her and Dan’s bed before holding up the items to reveal the four masks. Revenge, Black Parade, Panic!, and Danger Days.   
“I’ve spent my whole life hiding behind these masks. They’ve kept my face hidden from the world sense My Chem became well known. They’ve been my safe haven. Because of these things, I have been able to walk down the street without being recognized by anyone. Then, three years ago, my friends had the brilliant idea of me having my own Youtube channel and honestly, it’s the most fun I’ve ever had. I didn’t have to hide behind a mask because there weren’t any cameras pointed at me except for my own. And you guys care so much. You’re one big happy family and that’s what I love most about this.”  
Nation took a breath, her eyes traveling to her lap as her hands brushed over her mask.  
“You guys care so much about me so I like to tell you as much as I can. Whether it was through my Twitter for Youtube or MCR, I was always letting you know what was going. That’s why I’m filming this video, because honestly, I didn’t have to do this. I could have just changed my username and continued as if nothing had happened, but I feel like I owe this to you.”  
She shook her head her eyes traveling up to the ceiling. “Everything I need to say has already been written down and for me that’s enough but for you, you want to hear… This alone, you’re in time for the show,” She sang softly, the lyrics coming out slower than they should. She wondered why this even came to mind. “You’re the one that I need, but you’re the one that I loathe. You get to watch me corrode like a beast in repose. Cause I love all the poison, away with the boys in the band.”  
Nation changed the lyrics, not realizing as she did so. She’d notice later as she was editing the video.  
“You need a hug?”   
Nation jumped at the sound of the voice. She looked to see Dan was standing in the doorway of their room. She relaxed after realizing it was only him.  
“How long have you been standing there?”  
“Enough to know that only half your fans are going to understand what you’re saying and that the other half are going to scroll through Tumblr for a translation,” Dan chuckled as he sat down next to her. He cupped her face in his large hand and used his thumb to brush away her tears.  
She hadn’t realized she was crying.  
“Your singing was lovely though.”  
She chuckled nervously, “Thanks, Bear.”  
Nation hid her face in his chest as he pulled her into a hug. Dan drew circles on her back to comfort her as she fought back more tears. She took deep breaths as she tried to calm herself. The familiar scent of honey mixed with cologne was enough for her to steady her breathing.  
“Your hair smells nice,” Dan mumbled causing Nation to giggle. “It does! Smells like coconut.”  
The two pulled away from each other as they laughed.   
Nation ruffled his hair as she spoke. “Hope you remember that we use the same shampoo.”  
“That’s exciting,” He laughed though he frowned as he fixed his hair. “Mil’s going on a date tonight want to marathon Sword Art Online?” Nation’s eyes widen in excitement, a smile appearing on her lips. “Thought so.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to soulless.not.possessed for being way to attached to this. (Btw I would very much like to be your new best friend.)

Six months later: March 12th, 2013

“A constellation of tears on your lashes! Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes. In the end everything collies, my childhood spat back out the monster that you see! My song know what you did in the da-“ Nation sang loudly as she spun around in Dan’s butt chair. It had been almost two months sense Fall Out Boy announced their return and almost six sense she was informed of it. She was pleased to discover her part in their next album and even more thrilled by the music.  
Nation phone rang cutting off the music and thus her singing. She looked at the caller to see Frank’s photo. Picking up the phone, she smiled at a disappointed Dan, who had joined her a few minutes ago to enjoy the music.  
“Hey, Dad.”  
“Hey, Nation. What’s up?” Frank’s familiar voice came through the speaker, sounding cheery. Nation brow furrowed, knowing something was up.  
She gave Dan a worried glance as she pulled the phone from her ears and pressed the speaker button. “Listening to music, so nothing I can’t pause for a minute. What’s wrong?”  
Frank gave a sigh and there was a rustle from the other end before the sound of a door closing. “You’re father’s been flipping shit for no apparent reason lately over this album. Mikey and Ray are concerned and so am I. It’s obvious that it’s not the album bothering him. I couldn’t get anything out of him, not even Link. And I mean, Bandit’s too young to understand what the hell is going on so she just sees Gerard screaming at one of us and comes to me crying and I-I-I… Nation come home. Please, I at least until I can get myself together. I know you and Gee don’t talk to each other that much anymore but he needs you.”  
Nation nodded as she turned in her seat, opening her laptop. She began to search the next flight to Jersey. “Yeah. Yeah of course, Dad. Uh, the next flight to Jersey isn’t until tomorrow morning.” She typed away at her computer, having memorized her credit card number by now. She glanced at Dan, “Should I bring Dan? He’s great with Bandit.”  
“Go ahead,” Frank said. Nation and Dan heard a door open.  
“D-D-Daddy?”  
“Come here, Bee,” Frank said. “What’s wrong?”  
“Daddy’s being mean again,” The four year old’s voice trembled as she spoke. She sniffled as if she was crying.  
“Put me on speaker,” Nation told her father.   
“I know, kiddo. Daddy’s just upset right now. Wanna talk to your big sis?” Frank said.  
“Nation!” Bandit squealed and Nation couldn’t help but grin when she heard her sisters voice happy again.  
She stood up and went over to the bed where Dan was sprawled out. She collapsed next him and he wrapped her in his long arms. “Hiya, Bandit. I got that drawing you mailed me. It’s really colorful. I hung it up on fridge.”  
It was true. Just a few days before, she had gotten a drawing from her little sister in the mail. She had drawn a rainbow – thought the colors were out of order – and afterwards had insisted she give it to herself. Frank had complied and mailed it to the woman, who therefor hung it on the refrigerator where every masterpiece should be displayed.  
“You really like it?!”  
“Of course I do. It’s obvious you’re a Way with that kind of work,” She laughed.  
“Yay! I knew you’d like it! Didn’t I say she’d like it, Daddy?!”  
Frank chuckled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Course you did, kiddo.”

**

March 13th, 2013

“I still hate planes,” Nation mumbled as she and Dan walked through the airport, dragging their luggage behind them as they searched for Frank Way. Her eyes settled on the short man, holding Bandit on his hip. He was dressed in blue jeans and a grey shirt with a brown cardigan pulled over it. Bandit was in a black and yellow striped dress.  
“SISSY!” Bandit squealed when she saw her older sister. Frank smiled and laughed setting the girl down to let her run to her sister. Nation stopped and knelt down as the girl approached her. She scooped her into her arms, lifting her into a hug.  
“Hey, Bandit,” Nation grinned before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I’ve missed you. Look at how big you’ve gotten! You weigh a ton!”  
“I’ll be as big as you one day! Maybe even Danny!” Bandit grinned as Nation moved her so that she was sitting on her hip comfortably. She grabbed her bag again as they began to move towards Frank.  
“That’d be pretty impressive,” Dan grinned as he ruffled her hair. A pout formed on her pink lips before she straightened out her brown curls.  
“Hey, Little Mikey. Hey Dan,” Frank greeted with a tired smile.   
“Hello, Frank,” Dan smiled as he pulled the man into a hug a second before Nation handed Bandit over to Dan. Dan gave her a piggyback ride instead, holding onto her legs.  
“Woah. This is really high. You do this every day?” Bandit asked amazed as Nation pulled Frank into a tight hug. He squeezed her tight, pressing a kiss to her cheek.  
“Hi, Dad. Where’s Link?”  
“Left him home with Gee. Kid managed to convince him to watch Doctor Who with him. Calmest thing he’s done all week,” Frank sighed, running a hand through him hair. “Come on. He’ll be glad to see you.”

**

“Gee,” Frank called after pushing open the front door. He stepped into the foyer, followed by his children. “We’re home! And we brought someone!”  
“Two someones!” Bandit called back causing Dan to chuckle as he bent down to let her climb off his back. With that, the girl ran towards the stairs, climbing them, careful not to trip.  
“Where are you going?” Nation asked.  
“I gotta finish my new picture!”   
Nation smiled and laughed. She heard the sound of bare feet on the hardwood floors and turned her head to see her father walking into the room. His hair was back to its natural color, the brown waves pushed in all sorts of directions. It looked as if he hadn’t showered in days and there was a bit of stubble on his chin. He wore old sweatpants and a Misfits hoodie Nation had gotten him for Christmas a few years ago.  
“Nation?” His voice was quite. His eyes were wide with what nation could only describe as hope.  
“Hi, Daddy,” Nation said before biting her lip as she looked at her shoes.  
Frank motioned for Dan to follow him and the two disappeared up the stairs. Gerard took slow steps towards her as if he thought she would disappear she finally looked up, concerned. When he was in reaching distance he cupped her face in his hands before a small smile formed on his lips. He pulled her in a hug.  
“I missed you so much,” He spoke softly. She wrapped her arms around his torso, inhaling the familiar scent of tobacco and coffee.   
She didn’t respond.  
“Yeah. Yeah, I know you’re still mad,” Gerard continued as he rested his chin on top her head. “It doesn’t surprise me. You’re the only person that can out stubborn me.”  
Nation couldn’t help but smirk. She wrapped her arms around him even tighter, burying her head in the crook of his neck.  
“You’re not gunna talk are you?” Gerard chuckled and Nation shook her head no. “You gunna listen?”  
She nodded.  
He pulled away and gave her a sad smile.  
“Come on then,” Gerard said as he motioned towards the stairs. He led her up to the office and she immediately collapsed into his spinney chair in front of his desk. He closed the door behind them before leaning against the desk next to her. “Frank asked you to come didn’t he?”  
She nodded.  
“No surprise there. I guess you want answers.”  
Another nod.  
“Well,” Gerard sighed. “I’ve got none.”  
She frowned.  
“Yeah, I know. I’m an idiot. I just don’t know why. One moment I don’t want to talk to anybody and then the minute I do it’s to scream at them for some god awful reason and afterwards I just spiral down into this void of nothingness and just- ugh, I don’t know anymore,” He ranted before sinking down to his knees, putting his head in his hands.  
Nation hopped off the chair and sat next to her father, leaning her head on his shoulder.  
“I hate this feeling.”  
“What feeling?” Nation asked quietly. His head perked up at the sound of her voice. He turned his head to see her looking at him with the same kind hazel eyes he possessed.  
He sighed leaning his head on hers. She reached over and took his hand in hers, giving him a comforting squeeze.  
“Nothingness. I just feel… nothing.”  
“Care to explain?” Her voice was soft and gentle, barely above a whisper. It sounded as if she was afraid any louder would scare him off.  
“When I’m around everyone I used to feel so happy. I’d get so excited when we’re in the studio working on the next album. With Frank I’d so nothing but smile, the same with you and your siblings. But now, it’s like I’m just following a check list. Like I’m there, but I’m not quite there,” he shook his head. “I know. I sound stupid.”  
“You don’t sound stupid, Dad. I know what you mean.”  
He looked down at her as he took a deep breath. He leant down to press a kiss on the top of her head. “I love you. I love you so much. It’s just… I don’t know what that means anymore.”  
“Well, I can tell you that one,” She chuckled, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. “It means that someone’s really special to you and you have no idea how to function without them.”  
“Since when do you hold all the answers?”  
The quieted as they heard Frank and Dan pass by the room, their laughs traveling with them.  
They both smiled at the sounds, though for the opposite reason.  
Nation glanced at her father. “And it looks like you do know what I’m talking about.” Gerard’s brow furrowed as he looked back at his daughter. She chuckled. “You couldn’t help but smile when Frank laughed. You say it feels as if you’re going through a check list. Looks like a pretty exciting check list from my point of view.”  
“It is… it always will be with him,” His eyes were on the door, as if he could watch Frank walk down the hallway through the door.  
“Then you what you’re feeling isn’t nothingness, Dad. You’re distant, like no one can hear you. But, I’ll tell you what, they can hear you loud and clear.”  
He looked down at her with a smirk on his lips, “When did you get so wise?”  
“When you gave me that same speech when I was sixteen.”  
He blinked in confusion.  
Nation chuckled at his dazed look. “It was the first few months of touring with Panic! and I had another nightmare so I called you. I had been in existential crisis mode for months and finally exploded on you. You told me the same thing. I felt like no one knew I was there, but at the same time I didn’t even realize I was truly there. Sound familiar?”  
“Very.”  
“Good,” Nation replied before patting Gerard knee as she stood up. “Good talk, Dad. It’ll probably be the last one we have until it’s time to record again. I’ve gotta go hang out with Link and Bandit before Dan and I realize we actually have lives back in England. Have fun with your existential crisis.” She gave him a quick grin before going to leave the room.  
Gerard watched her go with sad eyes. For a brief moment, he thought he had his daughter back. And in the same moment, Nation thought she had her father back. But she was too stubborn. She pushed her father away once again.  
“Wait, Nation,” He called after her. She turned on the heel of her foot to face him. “We’re driving out to my parents for dinner tomorrow night. Want to come?”  
She grinned. “I haven’t seen Gramma and Grampa in forever. Hell yeah, we’re going. They’ll love Dan. Oh and we’re in the guest room aren’t we?”  
“Unless you want to sleep on the couch.”  
Nation gave him a lopsided grin, “I mean, it’s a nice couch. Lots of memorizes. Lots of… horny memorizes.”  
“Same.”  
“We’ve both have sex on that couch haven’t we?” Nation asked with a pained expression.  
Gerard grimaced. “Yeah.”  
Nation shook her head. “Well, at least we got what we wanted.”

March 14th, 2013

“Bandit, are you buckled in?” Gerard asked as he sat down in the driver’s seat.  
“No,” The girl replied as she struggled to buckle herself into the car seat. “I need help.”  
Nation leant over since she was sitting next to her and quickly buckled her sister into the seat.  
“Thanks, Sissy,” The girl smiled as she clapped her hands together. “I’m ready Daddy. Where’s Dada?”  
“Trying to convince your brother to get off the couch if I’m right,” Dan replied from where he was in the third row of the car behind the four year old. The passengers door opened and Frank climbed into shotgun as the door beside Nation opened as well. Link climbed over Nation before crawling in the back to sit next to Dan.  
Link looked but he gave Dan a shy smile anyway. It took a lot for him to get comfortable with someone.  
Frank buckled his seat belt whilst grumbling to himself before looking up in the rearview mirror at his son. “You’re grounded and I’m taking your laptop by the way.”  
“What the fuck did I do?!” Link exploded.  
“Language,” Gerard scolded him. “You’re father says your grounded and that’s final.” He leant over towards Frank, asking him in a whisper, “What’d he do?”  
“He didn’t want to come, but after asking nicely he just exploded and started screaming and cussing me out,” Frank whispered quietly with an annoyed expression.  
“I can hear you, you know,” Link grumbled as he crossed his arm, looking out the window.  
Gerard glanced up at him in the mirror at Link before pulling out of the driveway. The car was silent apart from Bandit babbling to her fathers about how she wanted to be a ninja when she was older. Nation couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, taking out her phone to record the event.  
“How long am I grounded?” Link asked suddenly.  
Nation snorted. “Dad grounded you. You’re never leaving the house again.”  
Dan shot her a smile, remembering the time she had been grounded by Frank for sneaking off the bus to buy the new Harry Potter book. They had spent hours looking for her before she had finally come home. Frank won’t let her leave the bus and if she did she was accompanied by either him or Bob. This was because the rest of the band would have let her off easy due to her love for books.  
“Two weeks,” Frank replied and Nation eyes widen as she sat up straighter in her seat.  
“What the fuck?!” She exclaimed and Frank glared at her in the mirror. She leant back in her seat as she crossed her arms. “That’s bullshit.”  
“He’s not you, Nation,” Frank told her.  
“Aren’t parents supposed to like distribute equal punishments to their children when they due similar shit?” Nation asked.  
“What’d you get?” Link wondered aloud. He hoped it was better than what he got.  
Nation shook her head. “Wasn’t allowed to leave the bus without Frank or Bob for like three months and all I did was go buy a book.”  
Dan leant forward, “Nation, you disappeared for three hours.”  
“And?”  
“That’s horrible.”  
She leant back in her seat pouting.  
Link couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, at least I know what’s coming for me if I ever sneak out.”  
Nation turned her head to look at her brother with a grin. “Just call me if you need help. It doesn’t take much at all.”  
Gerard glanced back at her before his eyes returned to the road. “What does that mean?”  
She didn’t reply.  
“What he said?” Frank said.  
“That I snuck out all the time,” Nation replied simply. “You never payed attention. Not like I did anything serious, just midnight library trips.”  
“What library is open that late?”  
“A good one.”

**

“Bye, Gramma,” Nation said as she hugged her grandmother close. “It was great to see you again. I’ll be sure to call more often.”  
“You better, dear, or you’ll hear all about it from you father about how cross I am,” The old woman joked. She hugged her one last time and Nation couldn’t help but look over her shoulder at her father as he buckled Bandit into her car seat. The rest of her family had already said their goodbye’s and were getting into the car, waiting for her.  
The sky was dark, only a few street lamps illuminated the paved streets.  
Nation nodded, pondering whether or not she had noticed the lack of words spoken between father and daughter.  
“And don’t worry, Nation,” Gramma Way continued. “You’ll forgive him eventually.” Nation’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak before she cut her off. “It’s obvious at least one of you are mad at each other. He kept trying to get your attention but you ignored him. I don’t know what he did but he’s still your father. Besides, I know you two, you’ll crack eventually. You don’t know what to do without him.”  
Nation shook her head. “Not this time, Gramma. I don’t think so.”  
She gave her a kind smile. “Well, I think so. Now go on, they’re waiting for you. I love you.”  
“Love you, too,” Nation smiled before going to the car.

**

Nation leant her head on Dan’s shoulder, struggling to fight the heaviness of her eyes. She and Link had traded seat for the ride home after Nation complained about not getting to sit next to Dan.  
“What do you think Phil and Mya are doing?” Dan asked suddenly noticing how she didn’t want to fall asleep just yet like her sister, who had passed out before they even left her grandparents’.  
She shrugged, fixing her blue hair. “Right about now, they’re either still asleep or realizing the sun is rising and they should probably get some sleep.”  
Dan smiled and laughed. “True. It’s like six am there, right? Because it’s one 2 am here.”  
“I think you’re right. I never know with daylight saving.”  
“True.”  
“Is he asleep?” Gerard asked suddenly, glancing in the mirror at Link. Dan leant forward and poked his arm.  
“Apparently,” The Brit replied. “What about Frank?”  
“Out like a light,” He chuckled.  
If Nation had been about to fall asleep she was wide awake then. Gerard swore loudly, slamming on the breaks as headlights suddenly charged towards them. Nation took a sharp intake of breath as she heard Dan swear as well, pulling her as close as possible as he looked towards his right.  
A ford came charging towards the right hand of the car.  
One minute their car was on all fours.  
The next, they were sent tumbling off the road.

 

 

 

“Is everyone okay?” Dan asked as he rubbed his head. It had been slammed against the window in the crash and it pained him to breath.  
He heard sniffling.   
“D-D-Daddy?” Bandit was crying as she tried to lean forward and nudge her father.  
Dan sighed in relief as he heard Gerard groan. “Fuck, that hurt.”  
“Nation, are you-“ Dan started to ask his breath hitching in his throat as he saw the blood trickling down the side of her pale face. Her eyes were gently closed and her shoulder was obviously dislocated. Her side of the car was unidentifiable. Her leg was pinned between crumpled medal.  
Dan sighed in relief when he saw the steady rise and fall of her chest.  
“Nation’s pretty bad,” Dan managed to choke out as he moved her hair out of her face to asses the cut on her head.   
“What the fuck did you do?” Frank moaned as he clutched his head. “Oh fuck!” he exclaimed before cradling his arm. “Are the kids okay?”  
“Bandit are you okay?” Gerard asked worriedly finally turning around in his seat after getting over the shock.  
“Uh huh, b-b-b-but something wr-r-r-rong with L-l-link,” She choked out between sobs.  
“Oh god.”  
“What’s wrong?” Frank’s voice was panicked as he turned around in his seat. “No. No. No, no, no, this can’t be happening. Link. Link, you little fucker please stop fucking with me.” Frank breathes quickened as he fought back tears. “G-Gee, tell me his fucking with us.”  
Dan managed to undue his seat belt and leant forward, gently placed his fingers against Link’s neck for confirmation. But what was the point with the odd angle of his neck and the lifeless look in his eyes.  
Dan looked up at Frank and Gerard shaking his head as he choked back as sob.

 

**

 

Dan passed back and forth outside of Nation’s hospital room. Gerard and Frank had left to take Bandit to her grandmother’s so that they could try and deal with the situation at hand without having to worry about her as well.  
“Where is she?” Dan stopped as he heard the panicked voice of Tyler Joseph. The short boy rushed towards Dan closely followed by Josh.  
“She’s in there,” Dan said motioning towards the door behind him.  
“How is she?”  
“She’s doing fine. Dislocated her shoulder and broke her leg but that’s about it. She hasn’t woken up yet though,” Dan explained to them and they sighed in relief.  
Josh motioned towards the door, “can we?”  
Dan shook his head. “Had to tell them I’m her bloody fiancé for them to let me in.”  
“Yeah,” Tyler said determined as he opened the door, “Well, I’m her fucking brother.”  
He and Josh walked into her room, closely followed by Dan. The wall walls where blinding, reflecting the bright lights. The steady beat of a heart monitor filled the room.  
Tyler silenced as tears welded in his eyes.  
“How’s the rest of them?” Josh asked, barely whispering.  
“Bandit’s fine. Frank broke his arm. Gerard and I both of concussions apparently so all the pacing I’ve been doing hurts my head and so do these lights,” Dan said as he flipped the light switch. “I’m patiently waiting for some bloody meds.”  
“What about Link?” Tyler asked.  
At the sound of the teenagers name Dan went quiet.  
Their eyes widened.  
“He didn’t-“  
“He didn’t make it,” Dan said quietly as he sunk into a nearby chair. He put his head in his heads. “If I feel this miserable I can’t even tell you how awful their parents feel.”  
Josh went and leant against the wall, slowly sliding down until her was sitting on the floor. He ran a hand through his hair as he watched his tears splash against the wall. Tyler sat down in a chair next to Nation gently taking her hand in his.  
“They know when she’ll wake up?” Tyler asked his voice weak.  
“She’s been out a few days but they said she should soon. I stayed here while Gee and Frank took Bandit back to Gee’s parents,” Dan told them.  
Nation stirred and all three both sat up straighter. Tyler gave her hand a squeeze.  
“Nation,” Tyler called out.  
She grunted. “Tyler?” She asked. Josh turned on the lights at the sound of her voice. Her hazel eyes fluttered upon before she squinted as they adjusted to the new found light whilst Dan let out a moan of pain. “God, my head hurts,” Nation complained.  
“Not a surprise with the beating you took,” Josh chuckled. Nation looked at him as he did so. “How you feel?”  
“Uh, weird. Almost like I’m forgetting something. What happened?”  
“We were in a car crash,” Dan said as he stood up. “Almost everyone’s okay.”  
Nation looked startled to see Dan in the room. Her eyes went wide, her mouth agape as she took the sight of him in. “D-Dan, w-why are you here? And why do you look so different?”  
Dan exchanged worried looks with Tyler and Josh.  
“Uh, I’ve always looked like this,” Dan laughed nervously.  
“Wait, you said almost everyone. Almost. Where’s my dad? And why do I feel like I’m supposed to be pissed at him?” Nation said her brow furrowed. She glanced down at herself her eyes widening at the sight of the full length cast on her left leg. “Woah.”  
“Nation,” Tyler sighed, “L-Link didn’t make it.”  
“Who the fuck is Link? Like Legend of Zelda?” Nation said.  
“Nation, can you tell me what month and year it is?” Josh asked concerned.  
Nation rolled her eyes. “Duh. It’s August 2006.” She caught sight of a strand of her messy hair. “Why’s my hair blue?” She asked before tugging on a strand, “and so short?”  
Tyler, Josh, and Dan gave each other scared looks.  
“And why the fuck are you looking at me like that?”  
“Cause, Nation,” Josh sighed, “It’s March 15th, 2013.”  
“Fuck.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter i'm sorry in advanced. It's not edited at all. I'm sorry but i'm not cause editing takes time

“She’s awake?!”  
Nation sat up straighter in the hospital bed at the sound of her father’s distressed voice.  
“Why won’t you let us in yet? Dan, move out of our fucking way or I will literally punch you in your fucking face. You hear me?!” Frank growled angrily.  
Nation shrunk back in the bed, unused to Frank being so angry. Tyler and Josh had left a few minutes ago to get some food, telling her they’d bring her a milkshake. Dan had left the room after receiving a text that Gerard and Frank had returned to the hospital.  
The two men silenced as Dan’s muffled voice appeared.  
“She lost her memory?” Frank’s voice was shocked now, though quieter.  
“The doctor said it was from hitting her head so hard. He doesn’t know how much she’ll remember yet. But in the meantime, she’s gunna be shocked by quite a few things,” Dan explained to them and Nation lowered her head, ashamed for having forgotten so much. She had only just discovered she lost seven years of memories, but she feels as if she just lost a best friend instead of time.  
“What year did she think it was?”  
“2006. August.”  
“Oh shit,” Gerard mumbled. “Move.”  
The door opened and Nation watched Gerard walked into the room closely followed by Frank. Dan glanced into the room before closing the door, leaving them in private. It didn’t take much to notice the dark bags under Gerard’s eyes. They were nothing new. But now instead of lack of sleep, they were caused by extensive stress. Frank had a backpack slung over his shoulder as if he was ready to stay there the night if he had to.  
Every time she looked at her father she felt as if she was forgetting something important. It was as if she wasn’t supposed to talk to him for some reason.  
“I’m sorry,” Nation mumbled.  
Gerard’s brow furrowed. “Why are you sorry?”  
“Cause I can’t remember. The doctor kept asking me these questions and then he had Dan ask me some that apparently only I could answer and I just didn’t know. Apparently you two are married and I have siblings, one of which I just lost but I can’t even mourn him because I don’t even remember his name,” Nation rambled her eyes locked on her hands as she twiddled her thumbs. “I woke up thinking I was fifteen only to discover I could walk into an ABC store and buy a fucking bottle of jack with no problem.”  
“Nation, don’t stress yourself,” Frank spoke as he sat down in the chair next to her. “We’re not expecting you to remember everything right off the bat. They were just trying to see how much you do remember. If you don’t remember Bandit, that’s okay, you can get to know her all over again. If you don’t know the lyrics to The Black Parade or Danger Days, guess what you get to listen to it for the first time again. How many people can fucking say that?”  
Nation chuckled. “You guys just settled on The Black Parade. God, thought you would have gone with something weirder. And the fuck is Danger Days?”  
“Our fourth album and your what third?” Gerard told her and she raised an eyebrow.  
“Huh?”  
“You were in a band called Panic! at the Disco,” Frank told her.  
Nation became confused. “You mean the one that Pete had signed without them having more than three songs.”  
“Yeah.”  
“I was in their fucking band. God, please don’t tell me a kissed any of them,” Nation groaned.  
“Actually…”  
“Which one?”  
Frank chuckled. “You dated the lead singer, Brendon Urie for a while. Lived together and everything. That was your first house. God the house was quiet… now that I think about it, so was the bus.”  
“You’re living with Dan now,” Gerard explained to her. “Only with Phil and his girlfriend, Mya, who you love.”  
Nation’s brow furrowed before she appeared to have realized something. “Mya’s short right? Latino, short brown hair, coffee brown eyes? Related to Anthony Kiedis?” She asked. “Oh god, I walked in on her and Phil once oh that’s revolting.”  
Gerard and Frank exchanged a grin. “See, you remembered something. You hadn’t met her until after you left Panic! in like what 2009ish.”  
“I would have been 18. What’d I do, get emancipated?”  
“Yeah. It was easier with the two bands and all. Besides, you were responsible enough to take yourself. Did a better job than I did most of the time. Still can’t so laundry though,” Gerard joked and she shot him a glare.  
Frank rolled his eyes. “Not like you can either, Gee.”  
“Wait a minute, I’m friends with Phil? Like Amazing Phil?” Nation asked with wide eyes Frank nodded, “oh fuck, I did good.” Gerard and Frank exchanged a sad smile.  
They had no idea how different she’d be without those lost years. Every time she discovered something of her past, she’s seem so amazed, proud of herself mostly.  
There was a knock on the door before Dan pushed it open once again, this time followed by two figures. One was tall with black hair, bright blue eyes, and pale skinny. He was dressed in black skinny jeans and a blue flannel and has his finger intertwined with a girl much shorter than him. She had shoulder length hair and coffee brown eyes hidden behind glasses. She wore a matching flannel.  
Nation’s brow furrowed bother their identities finally dawned on her. She had just been talking about them a moment ago.  
“Hey, Nation,” The small girl said with a sad smile, “you probably don’t remember me but-“  
“Mya, it’d be impossible to forget you,” Nation cut her off causing Mya to break into a huge grin.  
She turned to Phil, jumping up and down. “I told you! I told you she’d remember me! Didn’t I tell you?”  
Phil grinned down at his excited girlfriend. “Yeah. You did, Mya. What about me though?”  
Nation winced causing his smile to fade. “Vaguely. I mean I watched your videos when I was younger but anything after that’s fuzzy. But I clearly remember walking in on-“  
“Oh no,” Phil groaned, his cheeks burning as he turned around to hide his face.  
Dan couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m pretty sure all of England’s seen you two by now, Phil. Don’t be embarrassed, she is your girlfriend after all.” He looked down as Mya who was hiding his face in Phil’s chest. “Okay, maybe you can be.” Dan looked back towards the Way’s. “I was talking to the doctor. You can leave whenever. I booked us a flight for tomorrow if you’re up for it.”  
Gerard sat up straighter at the words. It was obvious he wasn’t letting his daughter go anywhere anytime soon.  
Nation nodded slowly. “Do you have any clothes I could change into? I’m not walking out like this,” She said tugging on the hospital gown.  
“I’ve got clothes in my bag you can change into. They’re mine so they should fit you,” Frank explained as he grabbed his backpack off the floor. He zipped it open and rummaged around in it before pulling out a pair of boxers, gym shorts and a t-shirt. “Need help cause of your leg.”  
Nation reached, seeing if she could reach her toes. She groaned.  
“Mya, wanna help me?”   
“Why do I have to do it?”  
“Cause I’ve just realized that I’m not wearing underwear and you’re the only female,” Nation chuckled and Mya quickly separated herself from Phil coming to her aid. “I gotcha.”  
Phil turned around as Mya helped her get on the pants whilst her parents sat there awkwardly.  
“Is that a Muse t-shirt?” Dan asked as Nation pulled it over her head. She looked down at it and shrugged. “Oh no, I’m just an idiot. How the fuck did I confuse Leathermouth with Muse? Who am I?”  
“A meme,” Nation replied causing Dan to laugh.

 

**

Nation sat on the couch in the living room staring up at the dull white ceiling. Her leg was propped up with several pillows and she couldn’t reach the TV remote leaving her in total boredom. Her ears perked up as she heard voices coming from the kitchen.  
“You do realize she’s not going anywhere yet, right?” Gerard asked someone. Nation’s brow furrowed. Was he talking to Dan? Why can’t she go home?  
“Why not?” Dan replied. He was obviously confused.  
“We just got in the accident. She broke her leg and lost seven fucking years of her memory. We lost Link and we’ve basically lost her too. I want to make sure she’s okay before she goes home with you. We need her here.”  
There was a pause as if Dan was thinking over his words. “Your family or you?”  
“What?”  
“Do you all need her or do you just want her here? She hasn’t held a decent conversation with you sense before she and Brendon broke up. She’s actually talking to you… Hold on, you want to make sure she doesn’t remember she’s mad at you for making her leave,” Dan said. It sounded as if he pushed out his chair and rose to his feet.  
Why’d he make me leave? Is that why I felt like I was supposed to be mad at him? Nation wondered.  
“No. On, that’s not it. We’ve –we’ve,” Gerard stumbled for his words, revealing the lie, “we’ve got to record the new album. She’s got to get back on her feet for it.” She heard him sigh, “What am I talking about? She won’t be behind her kit for months, let alone recording an album. I don’t even think any of us could handle doing any of that right now… you’re right… I’m don’t want her to remember. But not because she’s mad. Because if she does, she’ll be even more hurt than she already is. And I can’t bear to see her like that.”  
Nation turned her head towards the back of the couch trying to zone out. She didn’t want to hear what was being said anymore. What was she missing that was so important?  
She continued to think, trying to remember until she fell asleep.

 

**

“I’ve got your bag,” Dan said as they stood by the door with Mya and Phil about to head to the airport. Frank was driving them. Nation was stood up on her crutches struggling to adjust to the lack of use in her left leg.  
“Okay. I think we managed to grab all her stuff,” Frank said. He and Mya had gone around the guest bedroom the night before, trying to round up her things for the flight home. “Let’s go.” They began to move towards the door as Gerard quickly came down the stairs.  
“Wait!” They all stopped. “I need to talk to Nation for a bit.” The group nodded before heading out to the car to wait for her.  
Gerard stood in front of her for a moment giving her a sad smile before pulling her into a hug careful not to knock her over. “I love you and I miss you.”  
“Love you too, Daddy. I’m gunna miss you too. I promise I’ll skype you when we get back to Manchester,” Nation told him.  
Gerard chuckled. “That’ll be pretty hard with you living in London with just Dan now.”  
“Wait what?”  
“They didn’t update you on that, did they?” he laughed.  
“Obviously not.”  
Gerard sighed as he ran a hand through his brown hair. “Nation. Nation, I feel like you’re going to end up remembering something you’re not gunna like. And that scares the shit out of me. Just… don’t be afraid to call me whenever. If you just wanna talk, or rant about something that happened six years ago, or if you want to scream about something I did fucking last week. Just… just call.”  
“I promise, Daddy. You don’t have to worry. Why wouldn’t I call you?” Nation asked as she tilted her head to the side.  
“You don’t want to know.”  
But she did. And she will.  
On the flight home to London, Nation had a long and interesting dream. Memories came flooding back to her and it seemed to her as if it were the one’s Gerard had been talking about earlier.  
That was the first time she broke a promise with her father.

**

March 22, 2013

“Fucking bullshit,” Nation muttered repeatedly under her breath as she aggressively mixed the brownie matter. She had moved her speakers into the kitchen and was blasting A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out as she baked. She had woken up to a single paragraph ending the one thing she seemed to have kept over the time she forgot. But now it’s over. Twelve years of music and it’s gone.  
And it was fucking bullshit.  
She had received no phone calls or text messages discussing the matter and after calling Frank in her fit of rage, she discovered none of the other members had hands in the matter.  
That was the moment Nation knew that she could never forgive her father. She still wasn’t sure as to why she was so angry at him before but now her hatred for the man was set in stone.   
And that hurt.  
With what memories she had, she could only remember clinging to the man. He was her crutch, the only thing that seemed to keep her standing and now he’s gone. She would forever avoid him.  
“You never listen to Panic!” Dan said as he entered the kitchen, turning down the music so that his flat mate could hear him. “I mean, I get it with the whole memory thing but-wait, what’s wrong?”  
Dan slowly approached the girl and took the bowl from her hands, placing it on the counter as he turned her to face him. She had the odd habit of baking when she was upset and Dan wondered how he managed to overlook the scent of the freshly baked cookies sitting on the counter next to the brownie batter.  
Nation shook her head. “Fucker broke up My Chem. The one thing-the one thing I thought I could hang onto with my whole fucking memory thing and he fucking ends it! What the fuck!?” She exclaimed. Her hands curled into fists and she was unable to look Dan in the eye. “What am I supposed to do now? That was the normal thing I’ve got and now it’s just gone cause of that motherfucker and no one can get a straight answer out of him as to why he did it and now none of us are talking to each other and it’s only been a few hours,” Nation rambled on, running out of breath as she sunk to the floor.  
Dan knelt beside her as she leant against the oven, her head between her knees.  
“What am I gunna do?” She moaned.  
“Cry?”  
“Done that.”  
“Procrastinate everything?”  
“Been doing that since I was born, Dan,” She replied. “I just, ugh. I don’t know what the hell to do, Bear. I kinda just wanna curl up into a ball and die at this point.”  
He frowned. “Don’t do that.”  
“Why not?”  
“Cause where am I going to find a midget that bakes when she’s angry,” Dan chuckled as he reached up to grab a cookie, still warm. He bit into it, his eyes closing as he let out a moan. “That’s fucking spectacular,” he spoke through a mouth full of food.

 

June 11, 2013

Nation rolled over in bed and began to poke her friend’s side.  
“Dan,” She said as she nudged his shoulder. He didn’t budge; she tried again, this time louder. Once again came no response. “DANIEL JAMES HOWELL YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE YOUNG MAN!” Nation shouted in her best intimidation of Dan’s mother.  
Dan shot up his eyes wide looking around in surprise before his eyes settled on a giggling Way. The brunette shook his head a smirk forming on his lips as he swiftly pinned her to the bed. She writhed under his hold, throwing swears as she laughed.  
“I win,” Dan declared.  
The blue haired girl pouted. “That’s only ‘cause you’re twice my size. And besides, it’s your birthday, you only get to win today. Now let me go. If I’m right Mya is currently making pancakes for you.”  
Dan moved off of her and quickly got out of bed, opening up a drawer to grab a shirt. He slipped it on as she moved towards the door. He stopped and turned to look at Nation as she slowly followed.  
“Come on, you lazy git. She’s making pancakes!” He grabbed her by the hand and dragged her out of their flat and across the hall to Kester house hold. Nation managed to close the door behind them before entering their friend’s flat. Dan continued to drag her down their hallway and into their kitchen.  
Mya was stood in front of the stove flipping pancakes whilst Phil stood beside her, appearing to be making four coffees.   
“Mya, I think we’re out of creamer,” Phil said suddenly after opening the fridge.  
“Are you kidding me? Oh fuck. Death and despair.”  
“Well, Mya,” Nation said as she let go of Dan and went to the four coffee mugs, picking up the TARDIS one, “you could always drink my coffee.”  
Mya gave her a confused look. “Why would I do that? Your coffee tastes like death. How could you only put sugar in it?”  
“Mya, I drink it black,” Phil laughed as he moved towards the door. “Dan, I’m stealing your creamer.”  
“As long as I get coffee I’m happy.”  
“It’s not for you,” Phil called from down the hallway causing Nation and Mya to share knowing smiles.  
Nation sat down at the table sipping her coffee as Dan moved to get plates for everyone.   
“So, Mya, Phil ever gunna propose or am I gunna have to do it for him?” Nation wiggled her eyebrows.  
Mya flushed a deep red as she looked at her friend. “If he’s smart he’ll do it during our trip to San Diego.”  
“Hopefully all goes according to plan,” Dan smiled.  
A few weeks before Mya had been cleaning the flat when she stumbled across the small ring box. She had immediately called Nation over and began freaking out over the thought of getting married although she was mostly thrilled. Nation couldn’t help but smile and laugh like an idiot until she told Dan who had just smiled and said he helped pick the ring.  
“No shit,” Nation replied. “When’s our flight anyway?” She asked  
Dan gave her a confused look, as did Mya.  
“We’re literally going to Comic Con for you because they decided to give you a panel after the shit storm about your comic book. By the way, wasn’t that supposed to just be a book a few years ago?” He asked. “I remember you telling me about the Four Horsemen and I suddenly realized how much they’re the four of us. Like you’re Cyanide, Mya’s Red hot, I’m Cherry Bomb, and Phil’s Septic. BY the way, why the fuck did I have to be a girl? And short?!”  
“I love how you’re more upset that you were short than over the fact that I made you have tits,” Nation laughed.  
“I never want to be short.”  
Nation shook her head. “I only made it a comic book because I was too lazy to describe everything and Dark Horse had been trying to convince me to sign with them anyway. Is that so bad?”  
“Is what bad?” Phil asked as he entered the kitchen holding the creamer. He walked over and poured some in Mya’s coffee before handing it off to Dan who poured half a cup in before placing it in the fridge. He figured Mya could use it more than he could.  
“My comic.”  
“Why would it be bad? You sold over a million copies in the first day! That’s pretty impressive to me,” Phil grinned before leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Mya’s head. Dan and Nation smiled at each other as he did so mentally screaming ship.  
“Because I wrote it and drew it. I literally can’t name anyone that’s done that in the past twenty years. I mean, Dad probably could but-why the fuck did I mention him…ah fuck he’s gunna be there,” Nation groaned as he hit her head on the table, not bothering to pick it up.   
Her head then snapped up and she looked straight at Dan. “Fuck, I just realized none of us said Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday, Bear. You’re old, congrats. You already found your birthday present two weeks ago so I hope you enjoyed Death Note.”  
“THAT WAS MY BLOODY BIRTHDAY PRESENT! YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED ME!”  
Nation and Mil couldn’t help but laugh at the boy’s reaction.

**

“Where the fuck are we going?” Dan asked as he looked down at the small map someone had handed him as they walked into the convention center. Phil and Mya were on either side of him peering at the map whilst Nation walked in front of them.  
They were all dressed in cosplay, portraying their alter egos from Nation’s comic. Nation was dressed in her Danger Days outfit thought her shorts were replaced by ripped skinny jeans of the same color. Mya wore a jean jacket over a Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt with ripped jeans and chuck Taylors – so her usual get up.  
Phil was dressed in black skinny jeans and a bright blue shirt. He had green hair chalk in his hair and Nation had easily made a mask out of blue and green ribbon.  
Dan stood out amongst the three wearing the darkest clothes. He wore black skinny jeans, a navy t-shirt and a leather jacket. A navy beanie was pulled over his still curly hair – which he hated but Nation insisted – and he had eyeliner on.  
“When’s your panel anyway?” Phil asked as he quickly caught up to the Way.  
“Tomorrow,” She replied, “I told them I wasn’t flying in until tomorrow because I wanted a day to myself here. I’ve never been to Comic Con without someone having to follow me around.”  
“I’ve never been to Comic Con period. Do you realize how happy I am right now?” Mya asked excitedly as she came up on Phil’s side, slipping her hand into his.  
“Very,” Dan grinned as he caught up as well, taking hold of Nation’s hand.  
Mya’s head turned as they passed a booth containing more comic books than she could ever dream of. “Hey, Phil, you can afford to pay next month’s rent by yourself right?”  
Nation smiled up at Dan before looking back at the couple as they steered away from them.  
“Are we gonna-“ Dan became to ask but Nation shook her head and dragged him away from them. “Okay then. Holy shit, Guild Wars…”  
He looked down at her expectantly and she couldn’t help but smile. “Go ahead. I’ve got something to do. Meet up at 2, we’ll go get pizza.” He nodded before quickly fleeing her side. She watched him go before continuing on her way.   
Hundreds upon hundreds of people surrounded her and all of them had one thing in common and that was their love for fictional universes. It’s scary how all of these people are stereotyped as quiet loners but the minute you give them a topic of common interest you wished you had kept your mouth shut, because once they speak, it’s never ending.  
No one was down, everyone was smiling. People were in cosplay of all sorts and no one judged them for it. Except maybe the bronies. Though, they kind of stayed in their own corner.  
Nation walked on towards the back of the center where she knew they had all the celebrities and artists. She smiled when she saw her booth. The floor in front of his was already taped off, prepared for long lines. The banner above had her photo on it, specifically her profile picture of her Youtube channel. Her hair was still purple and blue and she wore a crooked grin.  
It thrilled her to know she was placed in the section with her fellow comic book artists. Her eyes drifted towards the booth next to hers. The line was long and everyone had bright smiles on their faces as they held their comic books close.  
Nation looked up at the banner and sighed when she saw the name.  
Gerard Way.  
Oh how she longed to be far away from him at the moment. She was about to turn and walk away when someone caught her eye.   
Gerard had stood up from his chair after his daughter had tugged on his sleeve pointing at someone. He was curious as to who it was as Bandit was jumping up and down. He gave a sad smile when his eyes landed on his eldest daughter.  
They were a hundred feet away from each other as he motioned for Bandit to go ahead and go to her. The crowd had silenced, noticing the exchange between father and daughter. They knew the two were close and it was odd to see them not say a word to each other.  
Nation grinned as her younger sister ran towards her.  
“Nation!” Bandit squealed as the older girl bent down to her sisters high, quickly scooping her into her arms.  
“Why hello to you too,” Nation grinned, pressing a kiss to the girls cheek. She may not remember Bandit well, but something in the back of her mind said that she had to do everything in her power to protective her from all the dangers of the world. Is that what it’s supposed to be like as an older sibling?  
“Oh my god, that’s Nation Way.”  
“She’s so pretty.”  
“I have a photo op with her tomorrow, I’m so excited.”  
“Why aren’t they talking to each other?”  
“Maybe it has to do with the break up?”  
“What if it’s the reason they broke up?”  
“I thought they’ve been mad at each other since she and Brendon broke up.”  
“No one could hold a grudge that long.”  
Nation tried to ignore the comments of the line before her.  
“Nation, want to go get lunch with Daddy and I today?” Bandit asked excitedly.  
“Uh, I don’t kn-“  
“Please, please, please, it’ll be so much fun! I haven’t seen you in forever,” She complained. “Besides, Dad said he won’t be home for a while either and I wanna draw with you.”  
Nation’s brow furrowed at that. Where was Frank? Were he and Gerard still together?  
Nation sighed. “How about this? I’m supposed to get lunch with Dan later. Do want to come with us?” She began to walk towards Gerard, knowing full well that she’s have to tell him about it first.  
“Yes!”  
“She’s so cute,” Someone in the crowd squealed causing Bandit to grin.  
“Thank you!” She shouted causing the crowd to aw.  
Nation approached the table, causing the security guard to give her a smile. He’d known her for a while, having worked for the band before. She sent him a smile before going up to Gerard who gave an awkward smile.  
His hair still it’s natural brown and was tasseled. Bags were under his eyes like always, though instead of stress it seemed they were caused by a lack of sleep.  
“Hi, Nation,” Gerard greeted.  
She didn’t smile.  
“I’m kidnapping my sister,” She told him. “You can have her back after lunch.”  
Gerard rolled his eyes. “No, surprise there. How are you, anyway?”  
Nation spun on her heels and walked away. Bandit poked her face causing her to giggle.  
“Why’d you walk away?” Bandit asked, tilting her head to the side.  
“Daddy and I are mad at each other. Sorry, Bandit, there isn’t going to be a happy family outing any time soon,” Nation apologized. “Want to go to Star Trek vs Star Wars debate and watch the nerds scream at each other about which one’s better until they end on a draw and say that both are good pieces of fiction?”  
“Sure. Do you know when Dad’s gunna come home?” She asked.  
“When was the last time you saw him?” Nation asked, trying not to sound worried. Bandit was easily worried, something Nation had picked up on quickly, seeing that she did the same thing when she was younger.  
The four year old shrugged. “We talked last night before I went to bed like always.”  
“On the phone?”   
Bandit nodded.  
“Wanna talk to him now?” Nation asked.  
Bandit nodded excitedly as Nation steered them towards a small sitting area contained of only been bags and old mattresses covered in blankets. God, she loved Comic Con.  
Nation set Bandit down in a large bean bag before sitting down next her her. She pulled out her phone to discover she had a missed call from Dan. It was accompanied by a picture of a large poster of Guild Wars and a text saying he was going to make a shrine. She shook her head before going to her contacts. She clicked The Short One and let it ring on speaker phone so that Bandit could talk to him as well.  
He answered after three rings.  
“Hey, Nation.”  
“Hi, Dad!” Bandit squealed causing Frank to laugh.  
“Why hello to you too, Bandit. How’s my favorite kid doing?”  
“Good,” Both girls answered before glaring at each other. Their seriousness broke as Bandit broke into giggles.  
“What’s up, Dad?” Nation asked.  
“Nothing much. Sitting in my apartment. Doing nothing.”  
“Apartment?” Nation asked.  
“He didn’t tell you?” Frank asked annoyed. Nation glanced towards Bandit before turning off speaker phone and raising the phone to her ear, unsure if she wanted to hear what he was about to tell her.  
“No.”  
Frank sighed. “Gerard and I are separated.”  
“What the fu-“ She stopped herself as Bandit’s brow furrowed at the beginning of the word, “-udge happened?”  
“Your father fucked up that’s what happened. I just can’t believe he’d break up the band without telling me, or any of us for that matter. But then to have the nerve to sign the fucking paragraph with all our names. It’s like we had something to do with it!” Frank sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. He’s just a dumbass.”  
“He didn’t look to good himself,” Nation said as Bandit moved so she was sitting on her lap. Bandit took hold of Nation’s hand and seemed to become fascinated by her fingers. Strange girl.  
“You talked to him?”  
It was Nation’s turn to sigh. “Only to tell him I was kidnapping Bandit. He asked how I was doing and I turned and left without an answer. He looked ruff, like he hasn’t slept in a while. It almost got me worried.”  
“Almost?”  
“Almost.”

**

Nation stood in front of the large crowd of people with a microphone in her hand. It was the first time she had done this without everyone on their feet, jumping around as they screamed lyrics at her.  
“Okay, I’ve just gunna stop for a minute and appreciate this for a moment. I love all of your questions because they’re so thought out, but this is all so weird to me. This is the first time I’ve stood in front of a large crowd - well actually you aren’t large compared to some places I’ve been – and not have them screaming at me. I’d be like ‘how are you’ and the response was screams. Like why did I even ask?” I laughed.  
Nation looked out on the crowd, pleased to see some many people, some of which in cosplay of her characters. Dan, Phil, and Mya were sitting in the front row, making it easy for her to see them.  
“This is honestly as much fun as being on stage. The best part is I don’t even have to sing to make you happy. Like, I could probably just sit here and eat pudding and you’d sit here with me cause you’re a bunch of fucking idiots but your my fucking idiots and that makes me happy.”  
The crowd clapped in response letting out a few hoots and hollers.  
“But, there are two idiots that I need to come up on stage right now and they both know who they are. Well, at least one of them but the other one knows that he should just drag the woman with him.”  
Nation grinned as Phil stood up dragging a protesting Mya behind him. She had no desire to go up on stage in front of so many people but she knew there was no stopping the man. Nation handed the microphone over to the taller man before hopping off stage and taking the empty seat next to Dan as he pulled out his camera to record the moment.  
“Oh, I guess this is my panel now. Hi guys,” Phil smiled and waved at the crowd. “I’m Phil and this is my girlfriend, Mya. But, I kind of want to change that.”  
Mya’s brow furrowed before she finally realized what was happening. Phil reached into his pocket as he continued to speak.  
“Mya, you’re short and I love you.”  
“Wow, thanks,” Mya replied as she rolled her eyes, “Love you too, Philip.”  
“But, there’s one thing I don’t like about you,” Phil said.  
Mya laughed. “There’s a lot of things I don’t like about me either.”  
“Yeah, but you’re kind of proud of this part. But, I want it to change,” He told her causing her brow to furrowed, completely lost as to where he was going now.   
“What?”  
“Your last name.”  
“Oh fuck.”  
Phil knelt down on one knee as Mya put her head in her hands. He opened the small ring box that Mya had found just a few weeks before.  
“Mya Jade, will you marry me?”  
“You’re a dork.”  
“You’re avoiding the question,” Phil laughed nervously.  
Mya grinned, tucking a strand of hair around her ear “Yes,” She nodded, “Yes, you fucking dork.”  
Phil broke out into a grin as he slipped the ring on her finger before quickly rising to his feet to crash his lips onto hers. The crowd cheered for them as Nation ran back up on stage. She ran over to the couple, wrapping her arms around them in a hug as they continued to kiss.  
They pulled away to give her a confused look before rolling their eyes and hugging her back.

**

A few weeks later

“I just realized our best friends are getting married,” Dan stated from besides Nation on the couch. They were both in nothing but their underwear, having been too lazy to get dressed after taking their showers that morning. Both hoped the fiancés wouldn’t randomly walk into the flat.  
“We’re gunna have to help plan a wedding,” Nation realized.  
“They’re going to be married and we’re going to continue to be forever alone because everyone thinks we’re dating.”  
Nation snorted. “Dan, we share a bed and casually lounge around in our underwear around each other. We’re basically married. Minus, you know the rest of the coupley things.”  
“I mean we already fucked,” Dan shrugged.  
Nation coughed. “We were fifteen.”  
Dan smiled and laughed. “Yeah, but I still feel like you wouldn’t freak out about it if we were actually dating.”   
“You’ve thought about that?” Nation asked, tilting her head to the side as she turned on the couch so she was sitting crisscross whilst facing him. He copied her actions.  
Dan shrugged. “I guess I always just figured it’d be you and me against the world forever. It’s how it’s been for a while.”  
Nation didn’t know what to say.  
And that was when she kissed him.  
“I KNEW IT!”  
They jumped apart at the sound of Mya’s excited voice.  
“Oh, sorry,” She apologized. “We ran out of coffee and I came to steal yours. Go back to stripping each other.”  
With that, she left the room.  
“Fuck,” Dan groaned.  
“I-I’m sorry I didn’t know what I was doing,” Nation quickly apologized.  
Dan rolled his eyes before leaning over to kiss her once again. She smiled into the kiss.   
‘Okay, not sorry then.”  
“Definitely, not sorry.”

**

The next day, around 2 o’clock, the best friends sat across from each other at their kitchen table. Neither spoke, just silently ate their late breakfast. Dan had a bowl of cereal whilst Nation had her usual coffee and peanut butter toast.  
Dan was the one to break the silence. “So, what actually happened last night?”  
After their brief kiss, well two kisses, neither knew what to say. Dan slept on the couch that night as he tried not to slip into existential crisis mode.  
Nation shrugged. “We kissed. So what? We’ve fucked before and it’s never been a big deal.”  
“Yes but at the time we were like I’m never gunna see you again and said fuck it, quite literally I dare say, but still. Like, are we a thing? Can this be a common occurrence?” Dan rambled.  
Nation smiled, looking down into her coffee as she shook her head. “You’ve never even taken me on a date.”  
“Well then be dressed and ready by seven,” Dan said before promptly standing up and storming out of the kitchen, leaving his half eaten breakfast behind.  
“Where are you going?” Nation called after him with a laugh.  
“To ask Phil how to plan a date!”  
Nation shook her head before finishing her coffee. She cleaned up her breakfast and left Dan’s on the table for him to deal with. She left the kitchen and turned the corner to head towards her bedroom when a body crashed into her.  
She froze before she realized it was Mya.  
The woman let go of her before grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her towards the bathroom. She pushed her into the room.  
“Shower. I’m gunna go pull clothes and then do your make up for tonight. Phil and I are determined to make sure the two of you don’t fuck this up,” Mya rambled before shutting the door behind Nation and running off towards her bedroom.  
Half an hour later, Nation emerged from the shower with a large towel wrapped around her torso. She entered her bedroom to find Mya had already laid out cloths on her bed and was currently standing in front of Nation’s dress, organizing her makeup. She had ran back to her flat to grab her own, knowing that all Nation owned at the moment was foundation and eyeliner.  
“Get dressed, we have no time to lose,” Mya grinned.  
Nation rose an eyebrow. “Mya, we have four hours. And besides, it’s not like I don’t live with the man. Dan and Phil are probably scrolling through Tumblr right now.”  
“They can’t,” Mya replied flatly, “I took all the computers.”  
Nation’s eyes wondered to her and Dan’s desk to see all four of their laptops stacked on top of each other. Nation rolled her eyes before quickly slipping on the clean clothes.  
She now wore black skinny jeans and a red V-neck with knee high boots, the heels of which would click against the pavement later that night. Her leather jacket still sat on the bed but she’d have to remember to slip it on later. It may have been the middle of August but Mya had known that Nation wouldn’t change her style to conform to the weather.  
“Sit,” Mya instructed before pushing her into the butt chair. Nation rolled her eyes but complied anyway. The shorter girl began to brush through Nation’s blue hair frowning when she saw her roots were coming through. “Are you gunna redeye your hair or are you gunna let it grow out?”  
“Probably let it grow it. I kind of miss my long hair. Besides, flatirons are my worst enemy sometimes,” Nation jokes as Mya plugged her flat iron, letting it heat up as she dried her hair.  
“True. What color eye shadow? I was thinking a red.”  
Nation shrugged. “Do you really think I care? The only thing I wear usually is a little foundation and eyeliner.”  
Mya rolled her eyes. “Yes and it’s always smudged. Why the fuck are band members the only people capable of pulling that off?”  
“Magic.”

**

Seven o’clock came around and Nation sat on the couch in the lounge scrolling through Tumblr on her phone, liking and reblogging things every once in a while. She heard footsteps and turned her head to see Dan coming into the room.  
Nation stood up as he did so and he grinned at her. His fringe was swept to his left as per usual and he now wore a navy button down tucked into his black skinny jeans. The sleeves were rolled up to about his elbows  
“Well don’t you clean up nice?” Nation joked as she sent him a smile.  
“Not too bad yourself, I dare say.”  
“Dan, I look like this every day,” Nation laughed.  
He shrugged. “True. But that doesn’t me you don’t look lovely. Now come on,” He grinned as he took her hand in his, leading her towards the door. “I’m taking you out to dinner.”

**

“Ooo, I love Panera,” Nation giggled as they arrived in front of the restaurant. They had walked there seeing as Nation had developed a hatred for cabs after getting into an argument with a driver a few weeks ago.  
Dan grinned down at her. “I’ve never been but you scream about it all the time so I figured you’d enjoy this,” He explained as he held the door open for her.  
“You mean Phil told you take me here because I told him it’s my favorite restaurant?” Nation corrected with a smirk.  
Dan nodded. “He also made me memorize your order so go find a table. I’ve got this.”  
Nation raised an eyebrow at that before going off to find a table. She found a booth in the back corner of the restaurant away from any windows. She slid into the seat and surveyed the people around her. There was an elderly couple about a table away smiling and laughing with each other as they ate. A small family was on the other side of the restaurant and a few teens had pushed a table together and were in deep conversation about something.  
A few minutes later Dan found Nation. He slid into the seat across from her as he shoved his wallet back into his pocket and placed the buzzer on the table in front of him.  
“So, how was ordering?”  
Dan groaned as he ran a hand through his hair. “I stumbled over my words a dozen times and almost ordered a coffee in the process.”  
“Sir, you forgot your cups,” A waiter said as he came up to the two. Dan groaned in response as Nation sniffled a laugh. The man raised his brow towards Nation as he set the cups in front of them.  
“Sorry about him,” Nation apologized with a chuckle. “He’s just really bad at these things.”  
“Tell me about it,” Dan mumbled. He placed his arms on the table and buried his head in them as if he were about to sleep. “I’m just going to ignore everyone.”  
Nation rolled her eyes and poked his head as the waiter disappeared. He looked up his chocolate eyes looking into her hazels. “You didn’t have to order you know? I know how awkward you are with these things.”  
“Yeah, but this is our first date. I want to impress you.”  
Nation tiled her head to the side as she examined the Brit. “Well, you’ve already done something right.”  
“No I didn’t,” Dan denied.  
“Well,” She laughed, “I’m here aren’t I? That’s a win in my book. I’m picky with possible relationships.”  
“When was the last time you went on a date?” Dan asked with his brow furrowed.   
Nation thought back, trying to remember as much as she could. “Umm, I t was right after Brendon and I broke up, I think. I just can’t remember who they were. I’m not sure. I vaguely remember needing a ride from Patrick. They had bought me coffee, I remember that much.”  
“Christ, I forgot about that,” Dan chuckled. Nation raised an eyebrow. “You went on a date with Patrick.”  
“I did!”  
“Yeah. You guys dated for a few months. You probably don’t remember. You went on tour with him for a bit and everything for his solo stuff.”  
“What the fuck? I didn’t even know he had solo stuff,” Nation said confused as the same waiter returned, serving them their food. “Dan, will you go get me my drink? I’m too lazy to stand up.”  
Dan sighed as he picked up both their cups. “Yeah. I got it. What do you want?”  
“Just a coke’s fine.”

**

Dan and Nation walked back towards their flat after their dinner. Their fingers were intertwined and they slightly swung their arms as they walked. The sky was dark, the stars masked by clouds. The streetlights illuminated the roads and sidewalks. Almost no one was out, most people taking cabs home instead at this late of an hour.  
“This was nice,” Nation said looking up at the sky, disappointed at the lack of stars. She missed New Jersey, being able to go outside late at night on the roof, just staring up at the sky. Gerard would sometimes join her, trying to discover why she found enlightenment in the giant balls of gas millions of miles away.   
“It really was,” Dan grinned. He glanced up at the sky, trying to see what she was looking at. “What are you looking at?”  
“The clouds. They’re kind of the next best thing her in London. I never knew I’d say it. But I miss Jersey,” Nation sighed. She leaned towards Dan’s side and he let go of her hand, wrapping an arm around her waist instead.  
“You’d be surprised, but I’d rather the sun to be out than the stars.”  
Nation chuckled. “You almost contradict yourself. The sun is a star.”  
“Don’t get all science on me,” Dan laughed. “But you know what I mean. We’re kind of polar opposites in that sense.”  
“How come?”  
“Welp, time for another existential crisis,” Dan humored, “but anyway. It’s kind of like I’m the sun and you’re the moon. I like the bright sunshine filled days with blue skies and bright smiles because they always seem to be filled the joy. I associate the night with a sort of darkness inside of me. But then there’s you. You seem to be able to find this beauty in this sort of mysterious world and come up with your best ideas at night. Like when you were writing your comic book, you did most of it at night, along with some of your best videos. And I guess you sort of associate it with concerts as well.”  
Nation couldn’t help but think as he spoke. His words made so much sense and she couldn’t help but think back to a certain song she had written with some close from of hers.  
“When the moon met the sun, all was golden in the sky. All was golden when the day met the night,” Nation sang softly.  
“Didn’t Brendon write that for you?” Dan asked in sudden realization that it sounded as if he were trying to quote the song.  
The girl nodded. “Yeah. If I remember correctly, he used to say the same thing about me. But the song went on to say that I was sort of forced to live in the day even though I shined at night. Like how when you look up in the middle of the day and there’s the fucking moon and you get confused for a minute cause you’re an idiot.”  
“He wasn’t wrong, really,” Dan mumbled, looking across the street, not comfortable with talking about her and Brendon’s past relationship, even if she barely remembered it.  
She shrugged. “I talked to him a few days ago, actually.”  
Dan tensed for a brief moment.  
“He wanted to see how I was doing,” Nation continued looking up at Dan, concerned. “Mainly wanted to know if I remember him. But he was talking about Panic! Wanted to know if I wanted to come back anytime soon. Said he was even talking to Ryan,” She explained to her boyfriend.  
“Really? When would that be happening?” Dan asked, suddenly relaxing. He was more shocked about the fact that Ryan and Brendon were talking than Nation talking to her ex.  
“He’s not sure. He figured once everything had died down from the last album we could start working together. Spencer might come back, Jon’s gone though. Wants nothing to do with it. Apparently he’s quite happy wherever the fuck her is,” Nation chuckled.  
“Are you gunna go?” Dan asked quietly. He looked away from her as they approached their building. He held the door open for her before they headed towards the lift.  
Nation shrugged. “I don’t know. I barely remember any of them really… just flashes here and there. I’d rather stay here, really.”  
“Good.”  
“Good?” Nation looked up at him with a puzzled expression after pressing the button for their floor. “What’s that supposed to mean?”  
Dan gave her a small smile. “Because that means I don’t have to lose you again.” He leant down and softly pressed his lips against hers. Nation couldn’t help but smile. Yet that single word kept flashing through her mind.  
Again?  
What was that supposed to mean?  
When you lost me, dip shit.  
Nation jumped at the sound of the voice. Dan pulled away a puzzled expression plastered against his face.  
“Nation, are you alright? Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if you didn’t want to kiss me it  
S just that-“  
Nation cut him off by pulling him down to her height and pressing her lips against his.  
“Okay then. Want to watch Walking Dead when we get in the flat?” He asked with a grin just as the doors of lift opened. They made their way down the hall before entering the flat on the right, paying no attention to the sock on the door handle of the flat across from them.   
“Fuck yeah,” Nation grinned, though forced.  
What was that voice?   
It seemed so familiar.  
Yet so far.  
Like a misplaced memory trying to reach her grasps.

**

“You may now kiss the bride,” The preacher said and Phil leaned down to kiss Mya.   
Everyone clapped and cheered as Dan and Nation glanced around the couple at each other, sending each other proud smiles.

**

Nation looked out at the tables around the room where everyone was smiling and talking amongst each other. Maroon and gold decorated the dinner hall and it was no surprise that the Milennium Falcon was the topper on the wedding cake rather than the tradition bride and groom. The room was filled with the couples friends and family.  
Way glanced towards the table in the corner of the room where her parents sat with Dan’s. It was a strange sight to see her parents sitting next to each other once again after she had done nothing but hear of their constant bickering from her uncle, who also sat at the table next to Bandit.  
Nation tore her eyes away from the guests as she heard the tapping of glass. The chatting soon died down as Martin, Phil’s brother and best man, stood up.  
He cleared his throat before raising the mic to his lips. “Hello everyone, I’m Martin, Phil’s older brother. And let’s be honest I can’t be the only one that’s surprised that Phil got married before me,” He chuckled as did everyone else. Phil rolled his eyes playfully. “When Phil told me I was gunna be best man I was excited, don’t get me wrong. But I had the sudden realization that I had to write a speech, which of course I didn’t actually do-“  
“Which is why I wrote one,” Dan laughed as he stood up, taking the mic from Martin. “He called me last night and was like help, so I wrote this on the way here.”  
They all laughed as Martin took his seat once again with a smile and a shrug.   
“Phil Lester is a fucking idiot. But, it’s our idiot so it’s okay. Most importantly, he’s Mya’s idiot. Good job, Mya. According to the internet, you’re the luckiest person in the world apart from Ellen DeGeneres because she’s well, Ellen DeGeneres,” Dan laughed.   
Nation’s eyes drifted towards her family in the corner of the room, Dan’s voice drifting from her mind. Gerard seemed to be having a silent conversation with Bandit, trying to keep her from getting over excited and ruining the moment. Frank’s eyes were trained on Dan, doing everything in his power to ignore his husband.  
She couldn’t help but wonder when she’d see them as a happy family again.

**

Music blasted through the speakers as Fall Out Boy performed on the tiny stage. Perks of being in the music world: half the people at you and your friends weddings are famous and mostly musicians.  
Nation leaned against the wall as she watched her friends dance. Mya and Phil were still wrapped around each other with bright smiles on their faces. Phil looked snazzy in his tux and bow tie whilst Mya looked lovely as ever in her lace wedding dress.  
“What’s on your mind?”  
Nation turned her head to the right to see Frank leaning against the wall next to her, his eyes trained on the band playing. Mikey had joined them, playing the bass part with his boyfriend, Pete. Her eyes followed his gaze to see Mikey actually smiling for once as he and Pete leaned against each other, back to back as they played.  
“When are Pete and Mikey are gunna get married?”  
Frank chuckled. “Guess you missed that then.”  
“What?”  
“Pete proposed a few weeks ago. When was the last time you talked to one of them?” Frank asked curiously.  
“A few weeks ago,” Nation laughed as she adjusted her maroon dress.  
“But really,” Frank said as he nudged her arm, “what’s wrong?”  
Nation’s eyes locked onto her father on the dance floor with Bandit, who seemed to be having the time of her life. “How are you and Dad?”  
Frank sighed.  
“Have you two even talked about your fighting? You’re doing nothing but scaring Bandit.”  
Frank pushed off from against the wall as the song finished and moved towards the large open doors leading towards the hallway. Nation rolled her eyes and quickly followed after, not knowing that she had caught the eye of her father.  
Frank waited until he was a good distance from the doors to stop and turn around to face her.  
“Whatever you do, don’t get pissed at me for arguing with Gerard. At least I can look at the man without wanting to piss him off,” Frank said his voice suddenly cold, causing Nation to jump before she quickly shot to defend herself.  
“That’s why I’ve distanced myself from him, you dumbass. I don’t want to hurt him and honestly it kills me that we don’t talk to each other but I’ve learned to get over that. I know him just as well as you know him. If you two are arguing like this there’s a good fucking reason as to why and it isn’t gunna end until one of you grow a fucking pair and settle it. When I talk to Bandit and you guys are arguing while we’re on the phone I have to calm her down because it upsets her so much,” Nation rambled, using her hands to help her get point across. “At least when Dad and I argue it’s subtle enough that she doesn’t notice. It’s to the point that we just speak as little to each other as possible.”  
“See, that’s where you’re wrong, Nation Michelle,” Frank retorted and she flinched at the use of her middle name. “You two don’t argue anymore. It’s just you being a little bitch to your father because you’re still mad at him for something you barely even fucking remember anymore. He sits there and tries to start a conversation and you throw insults at him in response. You refuse to respond to questions as simple as simple as ‘how have you been?’ It’s like ever since the accident you’ve gone back to the immature, stubborn ass child you used to be. You need to fucking grow up.”  
Nation didn’t know how to respond. Had she really been treating her father that way? Is that truly what had been happening?  
“He’s right you know.”  
Nation spun on her heel to see her father looking at his dress shoes. He looked nice. His suit was perfectly tailored to his frame and his brown hair was combed nicely.  
“I-I-I,” Nation stuttered to find words. She closed her eyes as she fought back her tears, turning her head towards the wall on her left. “We shouldn’t be doing this here. It’s Phil and Mya’s wedding,” She took a breath as she walked towards the room, pausing when she reached to Gerard. “I love you, Dad. And I miss you,” She muttered before leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek.  
He didn’t respond just giving her a distant look before turning away.   
A tear slid down both Way’s cheeks as she walked down the hallway, passing the door that led to the wedding itself.  
Frank slowly approached his husband. He slid his arms around the taller man’s neck as Gerard’s hands met his waist.  
“I’m sorry,” Gerard mumbled. “I’m a fuck up.”  
Frank gave a sad attempt of a laugh. “So am I. Besides, you’re my fuck up.”  
Gerard raised his gaze to meet his husband’s eyes. His lop sided grin reappeared for a brief moment. “Fuck yeah, I am,” he leant in and kissed the shorter man for the first time in months. “And you’re mine.”  
“What are we gunna do with her?” Frank sighed as he buried his head in his chest.  
Gerard rested his head atop his. “I don’t know,” he sniffled, fighting back more tears. This was the first time he had seen Nation in months.  
“Are you okay?” Frank asked pulling away to see Gerard’s tears, whilst he fought back his own shakes.  
Gerard took a deep breath, “Yeah, it’s cool, I’ll be okay.”  
Frank hated the look on Gerard’s face and could feel the older man’s pain washing over him like a wave. He leant up and whipped away Gerard’s tears before kissing him once again.

**

Nation stood in front of the bathroom mirror as she twirled her eyeliner pencil between her fingers. Dan had gone out for the day to hang out with Chris and Peej and Mya and Phil had taken a month long honeymoon to America. Where exactly: she did not know. This left her to film.  
She had been thinking long and hard since the wedding and she knew she had to do something to contact her father, but at the same time she couldn’t bear to pick up her phone. Her thoughts had drifted back to the early days of Panic! when they couldn’t talk to each other much do to the time differences and constant touring. They had resulted in writing ono their necks, the photos had always become popular enough that they had always seen them either the night of or the day after.  
Nation tapped her fingers on the counter in front of her in thought before she finally shook her head and pushed her hair out of the way so she could write. She was letting it grow out and had died it black so that she didn’t have to deal with the blue any longer.  
In all caps she wrote “MISS YOU.”  
She tossed the eyeliner down before grabbing her hair brush and fixing her hair. She wondered if she could ever fix it like her father did during Danger Days. His hair never seemed to be out of place with that cut.  
She went back to her bedroom and sat down on her bed after pressing the record button on her camera. She already knew what she wanted to do.   
Nation picked up her guitar before starting her intro.  
“Sup, peasants. I’m Nation Way and welcome to another stupid video. As some of you may know… okay let’s be real all of you people know. I used to be in a band called Panic! at the Disco. Thing is when we were first getting started we went around the Collins clubs which probably three of you know about. But, you do know about how I used to perform before Panic! using my alias Michelle Parker. I wanted to bring back one of those songs today. This is Control by me. I actually wrote this. Be proud,” Nation chuckled as she adjusted my acoustic guitar. She tucked her hair behind her ear, revealing the message on her neck more clearly.

**

She finished the song, her eyes lingering on the pick in her hand before she finally looked up at the camera and smiled.  
“God, it’s been forever since I’ve sang that,” Nation chuckled, “To be honest, I should have probably practiced that. What if I had forgotten all the lyrics?”  
Nation shook her head as she moved her guitar to behind her.   
“Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed this. You can give this video a thumbs up if you liked it and if you didn’t you should do it anyway because I’m fucking cute. Comment below if you wish to share nice opinions or if you want to be a complete ass. Whatever floats your boat. But if you’re going to be an ass let me warn you that there is a whole fandom ready to obliterate you,” Nation gave the camera a crooked grin before reaching back and picking up her guitar to pose for a second for her thumbnail. She moved her hair once again to reveal the message, closing her eyes as she turned her head. She wanted to make sure the message was clear she waited a second before moving to turn off the camera. There shouldn’t be much editing for this video.  
She spent the rest of the day editing the video and when she finished it was about five so she decided to uploaded the video. In the matter of ten minutes she watched as screenshots from the video were plastered all throughout Tumblr, Instagram, and Twitter. She wondered what sort of response she would get from her father.  
She sat on the couch in the lounge with her laptop on her thighs. The machine heated over time, burning her legs but she couldn’t be bothered to move it. A photo popped into her dash and she paused at the familiar sight of her family.  
The memory wouldn’t come to her but she was glad it hadn’t. It was an article about the day of the accident. The magazine had chosen the only family photo her parents had put out online. Gerard and Frank stood in the back row with their arms around each other. Bandit sat on Frank’s hip and was playing with his hair. Nation and Link sat crisscross on the floor in front of them. Everyone had bright smiles on their faces. Nation couldn’t help but laugh at their t-shirts. They were all black with white writing. Gerard and Frank’s and each read father whilst Nation’s read Child One. Link’s said Child Two and Bandit’s said Child Three.  
Every time Nation saw a photo of her brother something tucked out her heart. Her head would pound as if trying desperately to remember, but nothing would ever come. It frustrated her beyond belief.  
The boy was her brother and she can’t remember him.   
It was different with Bandit. At least she could develop a new relationship with the girl. She could watch her grow up and create her own art and opinion, her own life.  
His was cut short.   
Why hadn’t it been her? Why couldn’t she have died in his place?  
His death has torn her family apart.  
Maybe if she had died things would be different.  
Yeah, her friends would be upset. Her parent’s hearts would break.  
But what’s worse? Watching a grown woman die or a child?  
Nation slammed her laptop shut and placed it on the table in front of her as she shot up off the couch. She grabbed her converse from the corner of the room and quickly pulled them on before grabbing her keys and heading towards the door.   
She slammed the door behind her as she quickly moved towards the elevator. She pressed the button and waited. The girl soon became impatient and raced towards the stairs of the building. She moved quickly down them before exiting the building altogether.   
She didn’t even notice her friends as she passed them.  
The cool summer air hit her as she entered the night. She turned down the sidewalk as she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans.  
The streetlamps lit her empty path. She was grateful for the lack of people this late at night.  
Her breaths were ragged and she struggled to see straight. She didn’t know where she was going at this point.   
Nowhere. She thought. Just anywhere but here.  
“Nation!”  
Her name didn’t even register in her mind as she continued on.  
Someone grabbed her shoulder turning her around quickly. Nation looked up into a pair of familiar chocolate eyes.  
“Are you alright, love?” Dan asked with his brow furrowed. He placed both hands on her shoulders but she only shook him off, continuing on her path. “Where are you even going?”  
“Nowhere,” She mumbled.  
Dan caught up to her, easily keeping her pace. “What’s the matter?”  
“Me.”  
“What?”  
Dan stopped moving and so did she.   
Nation angrily ran her hands through her hair as she let out a frustrated yell.  
“It’s not fair. It’s just not fair. It shouldn’t have been him. Never him. He didn’t do anything to deserve that. If anything it should have been me. I’ve lived a fucking life. I’ve fucked up plenty enough to deserve. Not only then but even more now. That’s all I ever do,” Nation ranted angrily. “I only ever fuck up. I can barely look my own father in the eye let alone talk him. Then I just had to go and talk to Frank because they had been fighting and look who was fucking talking. The girl who refused to even speak to the same man he had been fighting with just because he was trying to protect her all those years ago. I’m stupid. I’m just so fucking stupid. All of this would be fixed if I had just been the one to die. The crash happened and everything I had shattered. My memories are shattered and I’m just left with these broken pieces. And I try to fix it. I do. But it just keeps falling apart.”  
Her voice cracked as she sank to her knees. She lowered her head as tears streamed down her face. Dan stayed silent only kneeling in front of her. He reached out and tilted her head up. She looked at him through puffy eyes. Her eyeliner had ran down her face, covering her cheeks in black. He wiped away her tears before gently placing a kiss on her lips and leaning his forehead against hers.  
“That was the one thing I knew I was good at as a kid,” She mumbled.  
“What?”  
“Fixing things. Fixing problems. I watched my family tear themselves apart only using their minds. And I just kept fighting with them. I made sure they were okay. I made sure they were happy. I got to see their tears turn into smiles. I watched as my Dad stopped drinking around when he and Frank had gotten together. I got to see how much more Mikey smiles when he’s around Pete. I got to see my parents happy when they found out they were getting Bandit and Link. Thing is through that entire time, I knew that even though I could help others and help them be happy. I knew I could never fix myself. But the thing is now I’m so broken that I can’t even help them,” She whimpered. “How can I help them if I can’t even help myself?”  
“By doing just that,” Dan told her.  
Nation looked at him confused.  
“Try and fix yourself.” She went to speak but he continued. “I know, you’re trying. But, that’s better than not doing anything. That’s better than ignoring the problem. At this point, I think the best thing for them would be for you to be happy.”  
Nation let out a sigh before leaning forward and burying her head in Dan’s shoulder. “I don’t even know why this came up all of a sudden. I was so content a few weeks ago.”  
“That’s because you were blocking out your thoughts. And don’t ask how I know. You get this funny look on your face when you’re trying to stop yourself from thinking about something, because you usually use me as a distraction,” Dan couldn’t help but chuckle towards the end. He wrapped his arms around his girl, pulling her closer.  
“I’m broken, Bear.”  
Dan took a deep breath as he rested his chin on top her head.   
“I know, love. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry. Anyway i hoped you enjoyed and i'm currently writing a sequel that will eventually be up called Broken Pieces! Let me know what you thought in the comments below


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